Collared Sai Yonara
by Blazin Shadow
Summary: Raph is confronted and he runs. That's nothing new. Leo, Donnie and Mikey go looking for him. Again, not so shocking. But what happens when it's not due to a family squabble. His brothers cannot help him this time, and when he is cornered into his darkest moment, an old friend extends a helping hand. Torture - obsession - angst - family fluff and drama galore.
1. Prologue

I adore the TMNTS and hope to do them justice with this piece. Inspired by the 2012 cartoon series, this story begins a month or so after 'Slash and Destroy' – my favourite episode, and will veer off into AU from that point. I will try my best to keep the look and feel of the 2012 series, and try to bring in as many characters as I can, but this prologue is very dramatic (I couldn't help myself) – and the flare from the 2003 series seemed to have snuck its way in.

As the story progresses I will try to balance between all of the turtles – because I love them all – But for all Raphael fans this first ones for you.

So warnings: Temporary death of major characters(nightmares etc) Fighting, obsession, cussing, torture (both physical and mental) but not too graphic – I don't think so anyway – I've given it a teen rating, though please let me know if I should change it to Mature.

Things that will not be included: T-Cest. Rape and Actual, never coming back: Death! (If I think of anything else along the way, I'll put it here).

Disclaimer: I do not own TMNTS. I make no money – just practising my flare of the dramatic with my favourite characters.

So thanks for taking the time to read this, I hope you enjoy it. Please note that this is not beta-ed but I've done my best.

 **Collared Sai~yonara.**

Written By

Blazin Shadow.

***TMNT*** **PROLOGUE** ***TMNT***

For most people, the darkness is a mere necessity to life; something to escape from. For most people, escaping that darkness meant slamming their front doors shut and pinning on some lights, often surrounded by family and home comforts. For most people, life consists of a nine to five job, shopping, social visits and other mundane things that pass as society's norm. For most people, the darkness is something to sleep through; nothing more.

And then there are those special few that thrive on it.

The fictitious rumours that flitter about the hustle and bustle of New York suggest crazy things. They dare to suggest that those that plagued the streets at night were not human at all, but something sinister; something to fear. It spiralled from the idea that a secret organisation of karate fighting nut-jobs shake the underbelly of the city, and from that came wilder tales still; that the city is riddled with not only criminal elements, but by freaks of nature. Monsters so hideous, they daren't face the light.

Yes, you can laugh now.

For when most people hear of these so-called Graank and Feet and Kung-Fu Frogs – to name just a few; they laugh. For surely it's a joke; right?

Right?

***TMNT***

'… _. The shell …?'_

The darkness pressed down on him, uncomfortably warm and constricting. It could never be associated with the night that granted him freedom. In that darkness he was able to run wild and memorise precious details of the gritty city he loved so much. At least until his obnoxious, know-it-all brother lectured him to hide, or demanded that he go home. Damn older brother thinking he has the right to rule.

'… _Wha 'appened … anyway…?'_

Maybe said brother was the cause of this? But no, he dashed the idea immediately. His perfect, shell-tastic brother who could never do no-wrong was too honourable for something this underhanded. Now if someone had accused _him_ of knocking _his_ brother down? Well, in fairness, who _wouldn't_ wanna take _Fearless_ down a notch or so?

'… _Urgh…'_

No, this compressing darkness stank of foul play, and dammit, it hurt! It was easier to name the few places that didn't hurt then to try and reel off everything that did. Hopefully, there were no broken bones, his brother would pitch a fit if he had. He would never, _ever_ , hear the end of it, could not emphasise that point enough. His brother would have him grounded for weeks with nothing but lectures and bed rest; probably force him on a diet of lettuce leaves just to spite him.

He needed to focus, could hate on his brother later. The darkness brought nothing but discomfort and pain so it was hard to gather his scattered thoughts. Why was it so hard to remember anyway?

"…More than one way…"

Was that voice in his head? No, the tone was so wrong, cotton-ball muffled. It didn't belong in his head. It hovered like a cruel joke, somewhere beyond the suffocating darkness – beyond the pain.

"…De-shell…"

'… _Wait…'_ The thought was distant, disjointed, slightly panicked _'…I 'ave a shell…'_

Wait! What? What kind of trouble had he landed himself into this time? Sewer apples! He had to move and he had to move now! With what little coherency he had he pushed against the darkness, shoved against it with all his might. If his mind had a voice, it would have hollered with the effort. Everything screeched in protest, but finally he was rewarded. Fingers twitched, just a smidge, the pads of his curled digits grazing something cold – it was a start. It was something he could work with.

"…Oh, look master…"

The voices drummed away, but they were nothing more than a droning nuisance. He had to get his limbs to work if he was to have any chance of getting away. His face cracked a small smirk as nerve-endings began to register with him.

'… _C'mon..!'_

His arm dragged slowly along something solid; his plastron, maybe? No, that didn't feel right, he couldn't work it out, the world seemed to spin and there was a low, grating sound that reverberated nearby. He didn't have the energy to figure it out. Where was the floor, anyway?

"…Look…!"

The voices were coming in clearer now. Maybe if his stupid body would work as it should he would be able to bust those skulls, silence those voices, figure out where he was and get the shell out of there. Where was he, anyway? No clues presented themselves, but knowing where the floor was would be extremely helpful right about now. Was it beneath him? Damnit his head hurt…

"… M-Mikey …" Well at least his voice worked, somewhat, "… Be cool … bro …"

'… _Get that licence plate for me … I'll bash it later… When I get up…'_

More limbs registered one by one, the thrumming pain resonating loud and clear. The floor was definitely beneath him, it pressed against his aching cheek, could feel his stomach squashed onto his plastron, his carapace above him. At least he wasn't on his back; that would've been embarrassing. Rocking on his shell like a fool.

"…Is he delirious…?"

Muscles flexed instinctively, in chronological order, silently cataloguing any major injuries he might've sustained; but it was all for naught. Apart from that annoying ache thrumming through his system like an undercurrent, there was nothing majorly wrong with him. All six of his toes twitched, his fingers following suit, though for some reason they flexed round metal bars.

"…Here's a thought, it might be that serum you gave him…"

'… ' _ere's a thought …!'_ He thought angrily, _'…Why not just say ya drugged me! Ya cowardly bunch of 'roaches…!'_

Eyes shuddered, opening just a mere fraction. Pupils dilated as they tried to become accustomed to the light of the room, his clammy skin soothed on a surface as smooth and cool as glass. He pulled his other heavy arm towards him, agonisingly slow, while that grating sound permeated his hearing once again. He couldn't focus on that. Something else snagged his attention, spiking the fire within him.

"…It's waking up, father…"

He'd recognise that poisonous voice anywhere.

'… _Karai…!'_

He was lying stone cold on the floor, location unknown, writhing weakly and drugged in front of Karai! The room spun frantically as he bolted upright, horrified at the thought, though slumped immediately as a sweep of nausea stole his resolve. His head lolled forward, a dead weight pressed atop bent knees as he struggled for every breath. Every harsh inhale, every exhale kept him focused; awake. It was shallow, loud, and weak. The bile barely stayed down.

'… _Get it together..!'_

"Fascinating things, aren't you?" Karai cooed, her voice sultry and far too close for comfort, hot breath tracing the right side of his head. "I still can't quite get over it."

Fingers followed the line of his mask, trailing to the ragged tips of his tails, a stray finger twirling the fabric delicately while another brushed the nape of his neck. His head snapped up, glaring hatefully at her two faces. At least, he thought he was glaring. She needed to stop swaying already! His brain needed to be released of this painful fog.

'… _Stupid drugs, and stupid foot, and stupid Karai, and stupid blurry eyesight, and stupid body that won't respond, and stupid sickness, and stupid Fearless–!'_

"See."

Her mouths – there was still two of them – rounded in slow motion, not quite syncing with her voice as it interrupted his mindless mantra. Her voice seemed louder than before, ringing in his ears, addressing an audience even as she stared him down.

"I told you that the red one is stupid. A reckless lone wolf; hot headed." Her eyes narrowed with wicked intent, "Easy to manipulate."

"Hey!" Did he holler that, or was it just a breathy whisper? "Just who are you calling–!"

He swung haphazardly for her, aiming for her smug little face, but a sudden clanging jarred him as his arm connected with bars instead, vibrating from the impact.

'… _Of course there are bars, stupid me for thinking that drugs were enough…!'_

Frustration clawed at him, demanding attention, but logic ticked, ticked, ticked! The noise was too aggressive for skin on metal contact, the violent vibrations that tore up his arm too strong. Even as his limb slumped uselessly at his side, the room echoed with that clash. It was almost as if he had used a metal rod instead of his bare arm.

As he finally glanced away from her, following the length of his arm in a downward sweep, glazed eyes widened incredulously. Soft, cruel laughter followed as he shakily whispered.

"…The shell…?"

The weapon of his father's enemy glinted up at him with malicious intent, heavier, bulkier and downright more evil than his beloved sai. Gauntlets; they nearly swallowed the entirety of his lower arms, silently mocking him.

"I hope you like your gift, Raphael."

Everything in her voice was a taunt, but it became a mere blip as flashes of his worst fear pounded within. It was his most guarded secret, something that he would never expose, even under the pain of death. When he was at his lowest, he could see its shadow smirking back at him in his own reflection. It was that insane little voice that ordered him to run rampant, to spill blood, to go against everything his father had ever taught him and to give in to the bloodlust; to kill any and all that stood in his way. It was the voice he fought every day as it simmered against his sanity. Worst still, that voice had warped, had taken on a personality. One he despised; his innermost fear.

The Shredder.

His family had never said a word, but they didn't have to. Raphael knew that his temper separated him from his brothers, made him different. He knew it, and they feared it. He knew in his soul that with every fight he was slowly submitting to the ire. He knew that one day, if he didn't gain control, he would become that nightmare; the next Shredder.

But for his enemies to put gauntlets in his hands – _Shredder's_ weapon of choice. It was a cruel joke, a coincidence; it had to be! There was no way he had slipped up and revealed his inner demon.

'… _I can't 'ave…!'_

"You know, Raph." That sing-song lilt was really grating on his nerves. "It's polite to say thank you when you receive a gift."

'… _I don't want 'em you stupid witch…!'_

He was quaking uncontrollably, fingers refusing to let go of the bars that kept the gauntlets attached. For one horrifying moment, in his drug induced mind, he truly believed that they had somehow fused the weapons to his arms. Then, mercifully, he gained feeling in his trembling, shell-shocked digits. They cracked open, one by one. It was painfully slow, sluggishly so, but his fingers finally obeyed him and the weapons slipped away, clattered to the floor. His legs were more obedient, kicking the offending metal with as much force as he could muster. The gauntlets didn't go far, slamming against bars less than a few feet in front of him, but it didn't matter. Vicious laughter haunted his actions, but that didn't matter either.

The fog holding his mind captive was slowly clearing, pins and needles tingling throughout his body. It hurt more than the initial aching sensation, but that was a good thing; it meant he was slowly gaining control. The drugs were wavering.

'… _Let 'em 'ave their fun…'_

He needed to gain his bearings, get his feet beneath him and put faces to the numerous voices so that he could bash their skulls in. He needed to stall them…

"Still silent, I see." Karai slithered, her voice silky smooth, "That's unlike you. Don't you want to play?"

She was the easiest target, directly to his right and squatting down just beyond the bars; within arm reach. She was trying to goad him for a reaction, and normally it would've worked; but at that moment he was shattered and had to focus!

As his eyes swung around the cage, his heart began to plummet. Baxter Stockman was the furthest on the left, hovering like the idiot that he was; he wasn't a problem. To his right, just beyond Karai, stood Fishface. Okay, so a bit more of a challenge, but again, he still stood a good chance. Coupled with the Kunoichi posed more of a problem – but with enough rage, he could take them long enough to make a–! He dreaded to think it, but a _**tactical retreat**_! Oh if Fearless could see him now, he'd be rolling it up.

'… _Focus…There's plenty of time ta hate on Lame-a-nardo later…!'_

That's assuming of course that he got out of this blasted cage. His eyes continued its lazy sweep of his prison, looking for any weak point to exploit until they landed on a warped reflection of himself. A reflection that bounced back at him via mirrored armour, mirrored armour that forced his heart to a stuttering halt.

He vaguely remembered Karai speaking to her father beyond the darkness, but he thought that it was via a phone or something, not here, in person! He was actually standing there just beyond the bars, glowering down at him as though he was crud he had scraped off the sole of his boot.

Even with all of his brothers combined – they barely stood a chance against the Shredder! How was he supposed to get out of this on his own! Fear curdled like a sickness in his gut, slowly paralyzing him; he had to say something, he had to fight it.

"…Ya didn' 'ave ta go ta all this effort for little ol' me…" He knew his teeth were bared beyond a feigned smirk, a growl simmering just beneath, "… Let me out an' I promise to make it a real party…!"

"Now that's more like it." Karai's voice was thoughtful, too close, "The serum must be wearing off."

Inquisitive fingers reached out to touch him again, but this time Raphael spun as quick as lightning, teeth snapping against air, her hand a hair's breath away from becoming fingerless. Now on his feet in the middle of his circular prison, Raph squatted in a jittery, defensive pose, leaning on one fist and growling at his enemies in turn. It was sheer will power that kept him from falling down again, but Raphael refused to submit.

"See." Karai had a cunning glint in her eye as she stood to talk to her father directly, "Much more fun than the blue one. Wouldn't you agree, father."

Something clicked at her callous words, a spark of dread that wouldn't leave him alone. It pulsated with every breath, clung to every heart beat. It refused to be ignored, coiled and wrenched till his breath hitched.

' _...The blue one...'_

"We shall see."

' _...Fearless..!'_

Shredder wanted Fearless, his disappointment sang it like a canary; he wanted his perfect big brother. The gong of absolution sounded in his head; now they had leverage. He didn't know what they were planning for certain, and yet the idea refused to fizzle out.

'… _If Shredder makes an offer ta Leo, ta trade himself for me…no,no,no,no,NO…!'_

His blood ran cold. His honourable brother would do it in a heartbeat, there was no doubt. His self-sacrificing older brother with his stupid morals and his stupid need to protect them! Fearless would make the switch without skipping a beat. He would do it in secret without consulting their father if he could get away with it. As his eyes sought out the Shredder's he knew that he knew it too.

"Stay away from Leo!" He all but snarled, his voice raising several decibels, "You hear me! Stay _away_ from him!"

That fragile modicum of focus snapped like a frail twig as he forced himself to stand. Forget planning and focusing, or trying to get out. Fearless didn't own the monopoly when it came to protecting his brothers, wasn't the only one who felt responsible for the safety of their family. He wasn't going to sit by and let this happen! The familiar flame rolled up from his gut, it whirled with many emotions but in that moment rage dominated the kiln. He could live with that; it was something to work with.

"Wait till I get outta here, Shreadhead!" His hands wrapped around the bars, "I'll kill all a' ya!"

He yanked with all his might, bellowing as his muscles became taut. Control was a distant thing as he lost himself to the bonfire that emanated from his rage, fanned by unadulterated fear. They were going to use him as bait!

'… _I won't let 'em…!'_

"STAY!"

He quickly changed tactics, pulling himself back only to ram the bars with his shoulder.

"AWAY!"

They clanged with every collision, but the bars weren't budging.

"FROM!"

He threw his entire weight behind every surge, the sound was deafening.

"MY!"

Aching limbs set off signals of pure frailty but he grit his teeth and shoved it down.

" _ **BROTHER!**_ "

The bars finally shuddered under the onslaught and a faint sprinkle of dust fell down from where they were connected to the ceiling. But the pain! Those blasted drugs made his strength wane far too quickly, the fire diminishing as rapidly as it came. It paved the way for his body to express everything he had tried to squash down.

And after all that effort, the bars barely moved an inch. One bar had a slight dent in it. That was it.

' _...The shell is this thing made of…?'_

Sweaty hands clung to said bars as his legs wobbled beneath him, He was not going to swoon like an idiot or fall down to the amusement of his captors. Broad shoulders heaved with every pant, quaking with the effort to not ram the bars again, to stand tall and not hurl. This wasn't working; he needed to _think_ for once!

"I like this. So angry. So raw." Raph could not mistake the sadistic pleasure that tinged the Shredder's every word. "Hamato Yoshi has tried to calm your primal instincts for far too long. It didn't work very well, did it?"

Raph seethed, a stinging retort desperate to escape, but instead he ground his teeth till they cracked. He wasn't going to give this rusted Tin-Can the satisfaction.

"You were right, my daughter." The Shredder announced, "We will use this one first."

The Shredder stepped up, mere inches from the bars that separated them. His hand was reaching out as if to pet him.

"I have uses for a _freak_ like you."

Rage consumed him, common sense abandoned. Eyes gleamed white and Raph launched forward in a red blaze, hand clamping round the Shredder's wrist and dragging it through the bars. Chaos whirled in frenzy but Raphael's vision had narrowed down to the Shredder's body, pinned against the other side of the bars, and any damage that he could inflict on this monster. His left fist flew in a vicious blur, pounding whatever he could as his right fist held his prey tight.

Was that animalistic roar his own?

"Are you insane!"

Small hands struck the hand keeping the Shredder in place while Fishface roared at Baxter Stockman to lower the bars. The Shredder was bellowing his own fury as his free hand tried to force Raph's head back, but he did not care. He just _did not_ _ **CARE_**!

The bars lowering from the ceiling were a distant thing as they were slowly sucked into the floor around him, were only half way down when a body vaulted over the bars, attacking him from behind. Large, slimy hands grasped his chest and dragged him back with a strength he could not resist, but still he struggled as his prey was wrenched from him. Like a wild, cornered animal he twisted in Fishface's grip and smashed their heads together. He planned to dart away, to somehow find his bearings and run before–!

"ENOUGH!"

Everything diminished to lashing pinpricks of agony, sucker-punching his raging thunder. It was wicked fast and seized him in a merciless hold, mouth frozen on a contorted scream; white hot and blinding, crackling with a vengeance. No inch was spared, he was paralyzed taut.

Then just like that, it ceased, and the ground rushed up to meet him.

Raph writhed weakly, his mind a panicked blank, muscles a spasmodic mess on the floor. As his body tried to curl in on itself, his throat worked to gain precious oxygen round a low, grating whine. It flexed and strained to accommodate the demand, but as it did, some small part of his brain finally noted that it stung several notches above everything else, was the focal point of his suffering.

The smarter part of his brain told him to locate his enemies. Shell, he could practically hear Fearless berating him in a very patronising way, but nothing in that moment concerned him except the prominent line of fire along his neck. The hurt he had just endured, the heavy friction he suddenly felt. A terrible suspicion dawned on him; there was no way!

"Foolish turtle!" He thought it was Fishface, but seriously, who cared! "You dare threaten the master!"

'… _Yer master maybe, but not mine…!'_

"Filthy mutant!"

'… _Karai…Dumb human…!'_

"You are not worthy of his time!"

'… _Don't give a flying sewer apple…!'_

"He's got to have a death wish for sure."

Hands hauled his protesting form to his knees, wrenched his head back by the knot of his bandana so that he had no choice but to gaze up at the Shredder who towered over him.

"You are a mindless freak!" He sneered, before he controlled himself. "But you know that, don't you? It's why you keep breaking away from your clan. Let it go. Stand back! It's no threat to me."

The hands disappeared and Raphael gasped as he struggled to support himself, minute convulsions still wracking his frame. A weak protest from Karai was silenced before she too was shooed back just like his other puppets. The Shredder squatted before him, his armoured face so close the lines blurred.

"You are a freak!" The Shredder repeated slowly, as if expecting an answer.

"…Maybe…" Raph's reply was barely a rasp, "…Won' be-!" His throat was so dry! So weak! "…like…'hem...!"

Something else caught Raphael's attention, beyond the Kabuto, and he couldn't help himself.

"…n-nice…" His smirk was small but triumph, "… _shiner_ …"

'… _Did I knock 'is Kabuto off an' punch 'im square in the face…?'_

Mocking laughter bubbled. It was a faint, scratchy sound in a tortured mouth, but it was enough for the Shredder to silently smoulder.

'… _Can't even remember doin' it…!'_

"…my own … brother … can't get me ta … ta obey 'im…" Defiant green eyes flamed through hooded lids even when his voice faltered, "…you ain' … got a hopin' shell … chump!"

A gauntlet blade slid across his jugular in response, a mere whisper that left a warning slit, silencing him immediately.

"Yes, well, your brother didn't have this." He tilted his gauntlet at an angle. "Look down, right here."

Humouring the nut case, Raphael looked where the Shredder pointed. The mirrored length of the gauntlet reflected the side of his neck perfectly, showcasing mottled green skin and a trail of blood that stemmed from the blade pressed along the underside of his face. The sight below it turned his stomach, his suspicion cemented.

'… _He __ _ **collared_**_ _me…!'_

Raph swallowed passed a lodged lump, shaking with repressed rage. He knew he couldn't lose control again, could never hope to overpower the Shredder while at full strength, let alone now when he was a shivering wreck.

That didn't mean he couldn't trade insults.

"…yer one _…_ _**sick**_ … puppy!"

"And you," The Shredder countered, "are MY freak. My animal to break!"

"…if ya … really believe …tha– _Argh!_ " Raph wheezed low, his voice straining under the pressure.

'… _I'll neva fall in ta line like yer other ickle soldiers …!'_ His mind screamed at him, _'…NEVA…!'_

"…then ya … betta' … finis' me…" Dammit, everything hurt! "…be…fore … I … off …ya…!"

Everything was a fight! Why?! It was a fight to keep his head up, to stay on his knees, to face his enemy head on. Perspiration slicked his ragged skin while every word he spoke seared. His mind was a sickened, stifling haze. Bile churned, slowly clawing up his throat. Though for every struggle he fought, the Shredder sat on his hunches as if he were merely observing the weather, dominance oozing from his every pore.

"Kill you?" The Shredder laughed, a slick, sinister tone that would make demons flinch back. "No, stupid freak. Where's the fun in that?"

"As for you killing me?" He paused, retracting his own weapon as he effortlessly stood. "Well…!"

A familiar whirring sound caught Raph's ear. It was a sound he had learned to love over many, many years. It was the sweet call of his beloved sai's, the weapons his father had entrusted to him. The weapons he had trained with everyday to the point where they defined a major part of him, the weapons that were now being thoroughly tainted by his enemy.

"How do you plan to do that, without these?" He waved said weapons back and forth in a condescending way. "Hmmm?"

"Get your filthy hands offa _ **my_** weapons!"

Blood pounded through his ears as Raph launched himself again – unthinking – blocking out everything else with this desperate burst of effort, dredging up whatever fumes he had left to torch. His feet pushed against the ground as he charged, but one blink later and he was suddenly on his back behind his enemy.

'… _Did he just …use_ _ **MY**_ _own move on_ _ **ME**_ _…!'_

The bewildered thought was blank as his helpful brain provided him with brief flashes of the Shredder side stepping him, following the length of his flailing fist and twisting the Sai round his wrist to launch him.

"Do not make me electrocute you again." The Shredder warned, "Not when I'm feeling merciful."

A silhouette shadowed Raphael's body, his enemy leaning over him, feet planted either side of his head. It mirrored all those times that Raph would lord it over Fearless whenever he pulled his signature move on his older sibling. Not so unique now.

'… _No…Don't think on it…Get away from 'im…!'_

"… you … merci…ful … " Raph spat, shifting jerkily. "… Just who are… ya tryin'… ta kid…"

He scurried back a few paces until his abused body refused to function. It was undignified to say the least, but the only thing that registered was a despairing need to gain some distance. Laughter crackled from their audience but was silenced by Shredder's hand gesture. The sudden tension was unbearable.

"Do you know how old these weapons are?" The Shredder finally asked, looking at them longingly, his gaze distinctly reminiscent. "They've been passed down from generation to generation of Hamato's finest; for hundreds of years! Who do you think owned these before you did, hmmm? I am Yoshi's brother after all." His eyes narrowed dangerously, "Or at least I was."

Raphael was stunned as the implication rammed home, face flitting with horror. There was no way!

"You might've covered the hilts with this vile _red leather_ but underneath, its original beauty remains. I would recognise my Sai anywhere." He twirled one thoughtfully, distracted. "I always did wonder what happened to them after my last _strike_ with them. Now I know. Thank you for returning them to me, you've been most helpful."

'… _No,no,no,no,no… Ignore 'im Raph, Master splinter would neva do that ta ya…'_

"The day I got these was memorable, still feels like yesterday when I stood shoulder to shoulder with my cowardly brother; stood before our father. Yoshi, of course, received the katana!"

'… _Sensei would neva…compare me ta…ta…!'_

But he couldn't deny that raw bitterness, the resentment. It hit closer to home then Raphael would ever care to admit to. The fog did nothing to alleviate his sudden paranoia, his innermost demon smirking at him, tugging at his self-worth. The similarities between the two of them were many, far too many to shrug way as mere coincidences. Maybe Master Splinter saw it in him all those years ago. Was it possible? Did his own father see him as a lost cause…?

'… _But then, why train me…?'_

"At first I thought it was because Yoshi was the better brother, the perfect son! But now I know better. The truth will always out." The Shredder continued, caught up in the past, "Turns out I wasn't a Hamato at all. I was stolen away from my own heritage by a spiteful old man who thought he could make use of me!"

'…' _e's tryin' ta – ta mess with yer 'ead, Raph, that's all this is…!'_

The Shredder was suddenly on his knees between splayed green legs, deranged face Kabuto-less and mere inches away. His left hand snaked round the back of Raphael's head to hold him in place, a mocking imitation of Fearless's comforting hold, hurling pure hatred. Raph could barely lift a hand to stop him he was so spent. Could hardly keep his eyes open. A Sai glinted between them.

"I waited until my so-called father was sleeping like a baby and then I jammed these straight threw his heart!" The Shredder sneered through a locked jaw, more ferocious then audible. Raph doubted anyone could hear the poisonous words beyond himself. "You're more than welcome to tell. Yoshi suspected my involvement of course, but he had no proof – could do nothing. Rumours claimed it was a rival clan attack. No one ever realised that it was my family's clan or that I raised it from the dead!"

"Of course, Yoshi found an entirely different reason to despise me. Ironic, isn't it?" The Shredder ranted. "He wanted my love, _**MY**_ Tang Shen! He wanted her and my child and when he couldn't have them, he wanted revenge! He tried to kill me but only succeeded in murdering my beloved. I escaped with my daughter and haven't heard anything since; until most recently – when I saw the Hamato fighting style reflected in four freaky tortoises!"

"–We're Ninja… _Turtles_ – _!_ "

Fingers dug into his scalp and Raph winced, tried to dislodge the vice-like grip and shuffle away. The Shredder growled at the pitiful resistance and shook his prey's head until he stopped squirming.

"So in answer to your question … Yes, you pathetic creature, I am showing mercy, because Hamato Yoshi chose _ **you** _ to be the successor of _ **my** _ weapons. The fact that you're a disgusting abomination is beside the point! Just one last way for my so-called brother to get back at me! To compare me; to _**you**_!"

'… _Don't listen ta 'im…!'_

In his mind Raphael was trying to decide if this was the worst moment of his life. Motionless, _powerless,_ before his father's greatest enemy. Utterly alone, questioning his family – the only good in his life. Why was he alone? Where were his brothers anyway? It was something Raphael would have worried over if he wasn't caught in the grasp of a crazed nutcase, especially when said nutcase was spewing poison about his father.

'… _One problem at a time, Raph…!'_

"…Wow…" His voice had gained some of its strength back, rumbling with dark amusement. "…Ya really believe … what yer shovelling, _doncha!_ … That's uber sad … really…ya need help…"

To say his eyes were struggling to stay open would be a huge understatement, but that spark of defiance didn't waver in the slightest. The hand that captured his head tightened further in warning, but it didn't matter. He didn't have any physical reserves left to fight with, was surrounded by enemies with no help in site. A growl emanated from the Shredder, and Raphael's smile widened. There was a strong possibility that he was going to die here, might as well enjoy it.

"…Hey Shredhead…I gotta story for ya…Since we're tradin' an' all…I promise ya'll…love it…It's a doozy…" He didn't wait for Shredder's approval, using whatever he had left to raise his voice slowly as he stared down his tormentor. "…There was a man…'is life was simple … but 'e was 'appy with 'is small family…There was only one catch…'is brother was jealous. _Insane!_ …'e went on a rampage…"

'… _Blaze of glory…Blaze of glory…!'_

"That brother was you, Shredder! Ya murdered Tang Shen! **Ya did it**! Not my father!" He spat his accusations as loudly as he could, " **Ya** burned down the family dojo! **Ya** stole 'is daught–!"

*WHACK!*

His head snapped to the side with a grunt, blood trickling from the corner of his mouth, but inwardly he cheered. In fact, Raphael Hamato was ecstatic to have gained such a vicious response. His youngest brother's voice crowed in his head.

'… _You got him good, Raphie!…He got spanked…hahahahaha!'_

With his head bowed to the side he subtly sought out Karai who stood obediently in the line of soldiers, waiting for direct orders from her master. He might've hated her, especially when she messed with Fearless's heart strings, but she was the key to bringing peace to their father; Hamato Yoshi. If his last act was to spark her curiosity enough to seek him out, then he could live with that; it was one last stab at his enemy – to lose the daughter he'd stolen in the first place. As their gazes finally locked she gave nothing away, but he smirked anyway. He'd hit that proverbial nail. He'd done his best.

Shredder caught the smug look, saw exactly who it was aimed at, knew what it meant and roared. Raphael was hauled to his feet under the guise of a choke hold, dragged bodily passed all the lackeys who hadn't moved an inch but watched with sardonic pleasure.

"I'm _BORED_ with you!"

It was the only words he could make out from all the shrieking! The lack of oxygen didn't help in the slightest or his useless legs that scrambled beneath him. A green fist hit out against whatever flesh he could find but it was pathetically weak, only delaying the inevitable. This was it. He was going to die here.

'… _Gotta…Keep…Fightin'…!'_

The Shredder dropped him like a dead weight, body thudding against the floor. Shaking limbs strained under his sheer mass, the survivor in him refusing to cave in, screaming at him with sharp clarity. Less fog clogged his brain now as minute details vied for his attention, his site retaining more and more with each passing moment. Finally he could see beyond his sadistic audience, noted that the Shredder's throne was directly in front of him but a ways back, knew where he was; knew where he was positioned in said room. The exit, his brain clicked, was directly behind him! If he scuttled back enough, maybe he could find the door and escape! But the Shredder stood before him with Karai and Fishface directly behind him, a row of foot soldiers flanking them. There was no way he could get away from all of them!

The Shredder raised his Sai, a wicked glint in his eye. The irony wasn't lost to him. He could hear Fearless in his head, demanding that he get up and find a way home! It was bickering with another voice in his head, one that had catalogued every injury sustained; Donnie! Mikey's voice chimed in occasionally, adding to his sudden migraine. That tears it; he'd finally cracked. He'd lost those sewer apples. He'd–!

*THUD!*

"Take this!" The Shredder spat, overriding his jumbled thoughts, one of his Sai embedded in the floor mere inches from his hand. "And go!"

'… _Wait? What!…'e…' e's lettin' me go…?'_

"...w–why...?" Raphael didn't even realise he had spoken out loud, but prised his precious sai from the floor, almost hugging it to his plastron.

"We're going to play a little game." The Shredder sneered in response. "You have ten seconds to run, and then they," He gestured to the group of lackey's behind him, "will hunt you down like the animal you are. The kill is more fun when you have a bit of a chance. Don't you think so?"

"And this," The Shredder spun his other sai, "is my guarantee that you'll come back to me, just in case you do manage to escape. You'll be a sport and come back for this, won't you?"

That taunting lilt, he was toying with him! The first rule of being a ninja was well known; never lose your weapons! How often had Master Splinter drilled that into their heads, berating Raph every single time he launched one of his Sai like a throwing knife. In his arrogance he assumed he'd get them back, always had he got them back. But now…?

One shaking foot planted itself on the floor rebelliously. He was going to get his weapon back if it was the last thing he did– _ARGH!_

 _Lightning! White hot and blinding!_ A piercing yelp tore through his mouth as it pummelled his frame, and then it stopped. His body slumped back down, impacting hard; _sprawled_ and _wasted_.

"You really don't know when to quit, do you?" Shredder's voice taunted him, cutting through the lingering, twitching haze of pain, "Good. Now, when I start the countdown – then you can move, _understood_!"

"Oh, and one last thing, listen, because this is very important. If, by some miracle, you do make it home, tell Hamato Yoshi that I will tear his family part. Piece! By! Piece! You, _freak_ , were the first. Dishonoured and broken, but maybe Yoshi will forgive you in time – if you beg him." A boot nudged under his plastron, the doors flung wide open. "Now freak; _**Run!**_ "

With that his plastron was booted and his body rolled. Thwack! Thwack! THWACK! Each stone step forced a pain-filled grunt until there were no more and he skidded on his plastron to a jarring halt. Everything screeched in agony but his will roared. Raphael winced with every movement, was slow to rise up, a jittery mess that desperately wanted to surrender. It would be so easy to just fall back down…

"Can turtles even run?" A sinuous voice called out, slicing through the pain, re-igniting his rage; _Karai!_ "No seriously, I thought turtles were supposed to be _slow_ creatures."

"…Ten…"

'… _SLOW…!'_

"…Nine…"

Green digits flexed around one Sai as he reeled to his hunches, driving every sensation down to the very pit of his gut. He could worry about it all later! _Just get up already!_

"…Eight…"

His left hand felt so empty without his other precious Sai, but there was nothing – Nothing he could do!

"…Seven…"

Fingers grazed over his belt as his mind ticked rampantly. There was no way they'd be stupid enough to –! A brow ridge rose incredulously.

"…Six…"

One bump, two bump, three! Yes! Silent thanks chanted away in his head to a brother who couldn't hear him.

"…Five…"

If he survived this, he was going to bear hug his super intelligent brother senseless.

"…Four…"

Aching limbs flexed subtly as he shifted into a fighting stance, right arm crossed over his plastron. White eyes stared down the army before him as they shared befuddled glances. A growl tousled the night air.

"…Three…"

"Seriously, Red, you have a death wish!" Fishface drawled, caught between dismay and awe. "Stubborn turtle!"

"…Two…"

His sweating left fist clutched his last resort, and behind his poker face, Raphael prayed.

"… _ **ONE**_ …!"

***TMNT*** **END Of PROLOGUE** ***TMNT***


	2. Chapter One

Hi guys, so thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read, follow and/or favourite my story – but a special shout out to Raigon, Guest and Grungekitty for taking the time to review me with such kind words. You guys made my day *WAVES!*.

All warnings are explained before the prologue.

So now onto chapter one; all four turtles make an appearance in this one – fingers crossed I kept them in character – I swear I did my absolute best!

Disclaimer: I do not own TMNTS – nor the cover pic. I make no money – just practising my flare of the dramatic with my favourite characters.

I hope you enjoy this next instalment. Please note that this is not beta-ed but I've done my best.

 **Collared Sai~yonara.**

Written By

Blazin Shadow.

***TMNT*** **CHAPTER ONE** ***TMNT***

As her father counted down, the Kunoichi glared across the way and was disgusted when the red–banded turtle made no effort to run. In fact, he appeared to be gearing himself up for a final showdown.

"…Three…"

'… _Stubborn fool! My father gives you the chance to run and you waste it! You are no Ninja Hamato Raphael. You are a primitive beast with no brain cells left to clack together…!'_

"…Two…"

'… _I'm doing Leonardo a favour by eliminating you–!'_

"… _ **ONE**_ …!"

'… _YOU ARE NOT WORTHY–!'_

Karai roared out a battle cry at her father's signal, mingling with the cries of Fishface and the Foot soldiers, but was stunned when three small objects suddenly shattered at their feet. Purple smoke billowed up at an astonishing rate, ever expanding plumes that abruptly barred the doorway and forced them back. Even as she stumbled several shuriken pierced through that cloud, thrown haphazardly but still hitting their marks. She side stepped one just in time, mouth agape as others embedded themselves in the pillars and floor, a few grazing a couple of foot soldiers, while the last one ricocheted off of her father's armour with a resounding clang.

'… _It was a distraction…?'_

"WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO STRIP HIM OF WEAPONS?" The Shredder bellowed.

'… _He–!'_ She was dumbfounded. _'It was nothing but a ploy! To … To bide himself more time!'_

Her father's fury reverberated until every lackey snapped in line, silent and guilty. The chaos could have only lasted thirty seconds, a minute at the most, but as the cloud thinned and the Shredder turned to the street once more, Karai knew what he could see without actually looking; their prey was gone. Outwardly she appeared as furious as her father, but on the inside a miniscule smirk tugged at her thoughts.

'… _Huh…So there's a brain in there after all…'_

"SEARCH EVERYWHERE! EVERY ROOFTOP! _FIND IT!_ "

'… _Bravo Raphael, just like Leonardo you have–!'_ Her thoughts paused, searching for the right word _, '...Surprised me…'_

Fishface was muttering under his breath about just how much he despised those smoke bombs as he led the search party, flanked by the dozen foot soldiers who scaled the closest buildings like shadows. Karai went to follow the troop but paused mid-stride when a hand grasped her lithe bicep to stop her. She turned one-eighty, quirking a quizzical brow. The Shredder spoke her name in that tone that demanded obedience, his frame squared and rolling with anger. Karai bristled in defiance.

'… _If you think for one moment that I will take the fall for this–!'_

"Where are you going?" Her father asked, allowing just a slither of fondness to show now that he was alone with his daughter.

"I'm going to search everywhere to find it." She bowed her head slightly to show her respect. "It's what you ordered, father."

"No." He tugged at her arm, leading the way back into the throne room and giving her little choice but to follow, "Let them deal with it. We need to talk."

The doors slammed shut behind them but it was a vague detail as she trailed behind her father, footfalls quiet but echoic in the open space. Once they had ascended the stairs the Shredder finally released his grip on her arm and sat upon his throne. She fell to her knees automatically; face parallel to the floor while she waited in the wretched silence.

"…I want to apologise, my daughter…"

Her neck cracked with the speed that her head shot up at, utterly flabbergasted and unable to hide that fact. If the Shredder had looked at her in that moment, she would have been severely disciplined for displaying her true feelings so openly, but he held a faraway look in his eyes as he gazed down at the Sai held in his hand.

"That mutated abomination!" He sneered callously, "I allowed it to speak as if we were equals and it took the opportunity to dishonour your mother, Tang Shen! It tried to drive a wedge between us with Hamato Yoshi's lies!"

Normally Karai would've been as furious as her father, but this time confusion dampened the tirade. As she knelt before him, the Kunoichi watched with a critical eye as he twirled the turtle's Sai, the revenge in his irises so clear cut and deep rooted that it made her mind reel back in shock. How had she not noticed that before? Well, she'd heard about his revenge of course, he spoke of nothing but the vendetta he had for the rat master and his pet turtles since they had surfaced in New York. She couldn't live one day without him banging on about it; she thought it petty and small minded.

But now that she studied him, truly studied him, she could practically see the malice roiling from his very pores. It had manifested itself into something sickening and downright twisted, had burrowed its way into the very fabric of his being. It was like her father couldn't function without that congealed loathing dictating his every move.

"Father, you have no need to worry." She spoke up, her face confident yet expressionless and a complete façade, "I know that it was just trying to get between us."

'… _Ya did it ...!'_ She had heard Raph's words and they haunted her soul, made her think of **him**!

Hamato Yoshi. When she fought with the mutated rat, right here in this very room, she had expected to see the level of despicable insanity that she saw in the Shredder's eyes everyday; but she didn't. In its stead she saw something completely different, something utterly mind blowing. Raw sadness gleamed in those garnet-strewn irises, a kind albeit tortured soul. She tried so desperately to ignore it, but they scorched her in a way that left no visible marks, wrenched at her heart until she paid attention. In her quietest moments those tortured eyes plagued her, and on rare occasions still when she let her guard down just enough to see, her own eyes reflected the same agony; a soul that could not let go of its need to grieve. It was absurd and yet the thought refused to leave her; she shared more with her enemy Hamato Yoshi then what she ever did with her own father.

'… _It makes no sense…!'_

"The only thing I want from that freak." She snarled, overriding her inner turmoil. "Is its head for daring to speak my mother's name!"

'… _Ya_ __ _murdered Tang Shen…!'_ Raphael's broken voice barely floated across the room at the time and yet now it pounded in her head, refusing to be silenced, _'…YA DID IT…NOT MY FATHER…!'_

"Let me hunt it down, father!" She demanded. 

She tried to find conviction in her clan's beliefs, to silence the traitorous thoughts and cling to what she knew, but for the first time Karai couldn't deny that what she had witnessed in their enemies did not coincide with her father's words. His story was coming apart at the seams. Her whole world was shaking at its very foundations.

'… _Let me wring the truth from its neck…!'_

Her eyes narrowed as she saw the turtles in her mind's eye, downright hated them for making her feel this way. But at the same time they fascinated her, captured her attention.

Leonardo; the blue one – and now Raphael; the red one. What was it about these turtles? They held a unity that was unlike anything she had ever seen before, a uniqueness that was untainted, raw and pure of heart – and the astounding loyalty they displayed, what was with that? Leonardo – who would fight her to the bitter end if he ever found out that she had coerced the Shredder into targeting a different brother when he had originally wanted 'the blue one'; and Raphael – who went berserk when his brother's life was threatened, even when he stood alone, surrounded by his enemies and knew the consequences of such recklessness. Neither would waver; never.

'… _Maybe they're just stupid…'_ But no, that thought didn't sit right and belittled them in a way that made her feel so wrong.

The two younger turtles? Donatello; the purple one – and Michelangelo; the orange one. Would they be just as self-sacrificing? She imagined so; she held a grudging respect for their ideals. They displayed the truest form of honour that was recited in legends of old, nothing more than fantasy and yet they wore it with pride as if it were relevant in this day and age. It was something so rare, morbidly beautiful; it should be admired!

"No. I doubt you'll find that freak now." The Shredder cut abrasively through her troubling thoughts, his voice far too nonchalant considering he had just lost his prey. "What was its name again?"

"Hamato Raphael, father." She daren't argue against her father, so stayed where she was, mind abuzz beneath that calm persona. "The second eldest son to Hamato Yoshi; red banded, Ninja Turtle."

Why did her words make her feel like a traitor to such a warped group of primitive creatures? Their very existence should be despised, not admired! She should hate them all! The rat murdered her mother and scarred her father's face! These wretched feelings went against everything she believed in! She dishonoured herself with this inner conflict, and yet…

The emotion in the rat's eyes shone like a beacon that night. That hurt couldn't be faked, she knew that. What had they seen? She didn't know, but it wouldn't give her peace. Those eyes haunted her, judged her, and demanded her to take action; to _do_ _something!_

'… _Believe me, Karai…'_ Leonardo's voice, couldn't anyone just leave her in peace!

"I need you to know, Karai." Her father had finally lowered the Sai long enough to glance in her direction. "That it will be tortured for speaking about your mother, I want you to know that. It will return of its own accord and when it does; it will crawl on its hands and knees and _**beg!**_ I guarantee it."

'… _But how can you guarantee that unless-!...Unless…!'_

His menacing posture, the hatred that emanated from him; she inwardly shuddered. Her father held an ire that stipulated a tortuous end for his victim; the sardonic pleasure had swallowed him whole.

"Father?" Her questioning lilt only seemed to carry a hint of curiosity; nothing more.

'… _What aren't you telling me…?'_ She prayed she didn't betray her true feelings, _'…What have you done…?'_

"Go now, my child." He waved his hand dismissively, "The details are not important."

'… _ **Ya**_ _stole 'is daught–!...'_ Raph's gruff baritone wormed its way back into her consciousness. Leonardo's kinder tone followed. _'…Hamato Yoshi is your father…'_

They were both so certain of that fact, but it was outrageous; _insane!_ The rat must have told them some farfetched story and they swallowed it like the naïve fools that they were. She tried to convince herself of that fact; yet the eyes never lied. Hamato Yoshi's eyes revealed pain and suffering whereas her father's held a dangerous, all consuming thirst for revenge. The man before her tried to spin her tales of love and lost but his eyes could not follow it through. Hamato Yoshi said nothing yet his eyes betrayed everything.

It would drive her insane if she didn't do something. She needed the truth, it outweighed everything, even loyalty; and only one truth rang clear.

The eyes never lied.

She needed to find Leonardo.

***TMNT***

Leonardo held a furious pace as he led his youngest two brothers through the sewer tunnels, avoiding the trickle of sewerage that lined their path. They couldn't have been more than a few passageways away from the secret lair, fifteen minutes walking distance at the most. When they got home, his red-banded, immediate younger brother had better be there waiting for them, if only so that he could see that he was okay. Leonardo couldn't handle another argument, not now. He couldn't help but think of earlier that night…

 _The turtles were watching from above with baited breath as the Kraang, disguised as humans in black suits, scurried in the lamp-lit street below... one canister, two canisters, three... they were loading the dangerous Mutagen onto a small black van with practised ease, launching the stuff from one Kraang to the next as if they were playing hot potato. Leo watched all of this with an eagles eye, his brain working overtime with plan A, a plan B just in case, and a plan C and a plan-!_

" _Earth to Leo!" Green fingers waved in front of his face and he blinked back to reality, "Are we just gonna wait around 'til they leave? C'mon!" A Sai twirled with Raph's impatience, "Let's get down there, grab the Mutagen, and kick shell!"_

" _Hang on, Raph!" Leo turned to his immediate left where Raph was squatted beside him, "there's barely half a dozen Kraang down there and they've hardly got any weapons. Doesn't that strike you as odd?"_

" _Leo's right, Raph, they're not even trying to be stealthy." Donnie didn't even look up as his brain analyzed every technical detail from Leo's right. "It's like they want to be caught."_

" _Besides dude," chimed in the youngest brother as he leaned in close on Raph's left side to tease the hothead. "They haven't got shells for you to be kicking, cause they're robots!...hahahahahahaha..."_

 _As Raph turned on Mikey, a low growl emanating from his throat, Donnie piped up, ignoring his brothers' altogether._

" _Do you think they've got another purpose, to lure us out maybe?" Chocolate brown eyes locked with the sea blue eyes of their leader, "I mean we've been keeping an extremely low profile to recover ever since that incident with Slas-!"_

 _Donnie's voice practically died in his throat as Raphael's barely repressed fury swung at him. But Leo had clocked something else in that split second, hidden well within those blazing emerald depths. A slither of hurt, a dash of guilt; Leo mentally reeled back and inwardly cursed himself._

 _This had been the first time they had ventured topside as a team since the Slash incident just weeks prior. It had been a trying time for them all. Donnie had found it hard to stop working on his gadgets while his arm healed in its sling. Mikey was ordered bed rest while he healed but instead became the resident couch potato – and absolutely loved it! And Raph? The morning after their arcade gaming session, Raph had isolated himself as much as humanely possible without gaining a lecture from Master Splinter, and that was without anyone even daring to mention the names 'Slash' or 'Spike' in his vicinity. It was a tender subject to say the least, and Leo didn't know what to do or how to approach his brooding brother. In the end it became something that Leo knew he should tackle but kept finding reasons to avoid, to the point that it never got mentioned and it never got resolved; period._

" _Listen guys." Leo forced himself from his digression with a diplomatic lilt, "if we just take a minute to calm down-!"_

" _No!" Raph glared at him with a look he knew all too well, "if you were to go any slower, you'd be my pet turtle-!" A look of alarm suddenly swept over his features. "Wait! I mean-!"_

 _Leo could barely hear Raph grumbling about sewer apples under his breath, watched as his head-strong brother flamed with either fury or embarrassment as he puffed through clenched teeth. Leo knew he had to get this sorted but his mind was just pulling a droning blank._

'… _Ummmm…'_

" _Raph, dude! You gotta shell-lax before something fries!"_

 _Leo groaned as the orange banded turtle tapped his head then pulled back an open palm while sounding a_ _ **POW**_ _to imitate Raph's brain exploding._

'… _Why Mikey…' Leo mentally face palmed, '…Just why…?'_

" _Was that last comment meant to offend, cause newsflash bro." Baby blues twinkled mischievously as Mikey lifted a hand up to stage – whisper, "we _are_ turtles. I mean, we're not your _Pet_ turtle – that's Spike! Or was Spike! But anyway; just to be clear. We are turtles, bro. Just not that turtle, okay! He went all loopy on us!"_

'… _Mikey, please, just stop already…!' Leo silently yelled._

 _He wanted the ground to swallow him whole. Leo watched as Raph jerkily twisted away from him to Mikey again; veins bulging and eyes glazed white. Mikey's bright smile dropped instantly at that look and he epped as he darted back to escape his brother's line of fire._

" _Raph!" Leo snapped automatically._

" _No!" Raph practically whisper imploded as he spun to Leo again. "I'm tired of waiting around while you try to figure things out! Here's the plan. I'll jump down there and take them, and if it's a trap, you guys can suss out their endgame, put a stop to it and play hero."_

'… _What…?' Leo tried to keep up with his brother's insane u-turn, his words almost a jumble with their speed and gruff accent combined. '…Is he reciting a half-cocked plan to me…?'_

" _If not, then at least I get to crush something instead of listening to you," a green finger jabbed at him, "the Dork; and you," that same finger jabbed beyond him to Donnie, "the Brainiac; listing every single ridiculous thing that could ever possibly go wrong!"_

 _Leo's brain frantically tried to work out what the shell Raph was thinking, using himself as bait! Wait! But before he could voice his opinion, Raph, ever the hothead, had sheathed his Sai and took off, shouldering Mikey deliberately as he went._

" _Wait! Raph!" Leo hissed as loudly as he dared._

" _We need a real plan, Genius!" Donnie interjected._

" _Are you even listening to me?" Leo continued furiously. "Raphael!"_

" _I'll get him!" Mikey went to follow but Leo gripped his bicep and stilled him with a death glare._

" _It's bad enough with him running off." Leo snapped at Mikey, "I don't need you following him!"_

 _Raph was deaf to it all. While they bickered amongst themselves, the hot-headed turtle had jumped two buildings, zipped along a telephone line to the other side of the street and jumped a further two buildings to face them directly across the way. He had become nothing more than a shadowy silhouette with white eyes, smirking teeth and billowing bandana tails._

'… _GET BACK HERE…!' Leo wanted to scream._

 _Leo gestured wildly with his hand, pointing at Raph, then slamming his finger to the direction of the ground; get back here! But Raph casually shook his head, that triumph smirk ever present as he jumped onto the ledge of the building. Before Leo even had the chance to stand, Raph had launched himself off of the side of the building, hand running the length of a drain pipe as he descended to unleash his fury._

 _As soon as the Kraang spotted him all hell broke loose._

To cut a long story short; they had lost all the canisters of Mutagen and got their shells handed to them. It was embarrassing! They had been completely underprepared and severely overwhelmed. The sheer masses of Kraang that flooded out onto the street by the time that Leo, Donnie and Mikey had jumped into the fray was insane! They forced Leo into a tactical retreat before he could even make a dent in the crowd, with Donnie and Mikey in tow, essentially abandoning the hot head. Even though he had seen Raph escaping the horde of Kraang on the other side of the street, slipping down a narrow alleyway, it turned his stomach to know that he had to make that impossible choice in the first place, was forced to choose between going back for Raph and keeping the youngest two from a suicide mission.

'… _Listen Leo, I know it's not likely to happen, but if it did happen and you have to make a hard choice…'_ Raph's voice chose that moment to hound him, a fleeting memory that Leo still regretted to this day. _'…Don't you dare think twice on it. You got me, Fearless? You pick them! Always them...!'_

Raph had made it sound so easy, but it wasn't. Leo felt the weight of that choice crashing down on him now. He tried to be the best leader he could be, to keep them all together and safe, but Raph just made it so difficult and fought him at every turn. He was undisciplined and dangerous; a bull-headed wild card. If he just towed the line like Donnie and Mikey…

'… _They need you more than I do…'_ his brother's voice nagged at him, _'…besides, I know the way home. I don't need you to hold my hand. It's no big deal…'_

It made him want to scream! The shell, Raph! That's not how this works, don't you get that? But Leo didn't scream, didn't protest. He remembered listening to his brother's gruff accent that night, it had been so long ago now, low and hushed and off to the side when the others had been distracted.

'… _Trust me, bro. I can handle myself…'_ His mind had become two voices arguing the toss, the things he should've said at the time but didn't. _'That's not the point, Raph!'_

Leo knew he should've put his foot down, but he was just so tired of foisting his authority as leader onto a rebellious brother that clearly despised him for it, was sick to the back teeth of all their arguing. So to keep the peace, to make his life just a little bit easier, Leo had half-heartedly agreed with everything Raph had said that night, head bobbing like a nodding dog.

'… _I need you to promise me, Fearless…'_ Those eyes had cut him to the quick, and Leo's weary voice came back to haunt him, _'…Turtles honour, Raph, I swear it…'_

Raph had clapped him on the shoulder, walked way, and that was that. Leo shook his head to drive the memories down and focus on the present. What were they doing again? Oh yeah; he was leading two of his three younger brothers down the tunnel to their secret lair, spent and utterly defeated. They had even rounded back to search the area once it was safe to do so, the guilt gnawing away at him, but hours later they were still one brother short. Leo had seen Raph escape the skirmish against the Kraang, they had even locked eyes for a split second, his brother oozing pure confidence before he fled one way and Leo the other. No, Leo knew he wasn't in trouble; so where was he?

'… _Raphael…'_ Leo's eye ridge furrowed. _'…You had better be home, little brother…'_

"Leo!" Was that Mikey whining? "Dude I'm so hungry! Can I make a detour and grab the pizzas from our collection point? Pwetty pwease?"

"I suggest you answer him Leo before he self combusts."

"Pwwwwweeeeeeeaaaaaassssssssseeeeeeeee!"

"But Mikey." Leo turned one-eighty to face his two younger brothers, "We didn't order any pizza."

"You didn't, Leo." Mikey bounced on the balls of his feet as he whipped out his T-Phone. "But I did! I can just grab it and be back pronto!"

Mikey darted round Donnie and gripped Leo's forearm, the cuteness dialled up to unbearable levels as he whimpered like a puppy, "please Leo! I even grabbed the skate board we keep hidden in the tunnels. It won't take long! See!"

Leo eyed the board, then back to Mikey, and cringed as his soul slowly caved in. No one could deny those wide baby blues and wobbling lower lip, no one. Besides, it was a short, safe journey through the sewers, one that Mikey had done hundreds of times before. There was no real reason to say no.

"Fine, Mikey, you go get the pizza," Mikey cheered and Leo raised a hand to shush him, "but no detours of any kind. Donnie you're with me." Leo said in full leader-mode. "We'll meet back at the lair, take an hour to patch up wounds, eat and recharge. Then, if Raph still isn't back, I'll go looking for him, again."

Mikey dropped the board and skated off with a hollered 'booyakasha', and as he disappeared round the corner, Leo finally grouched "Even if I'm sick of dragging his ungrateful shell back home. Why should I have to chase him down all the time?"

"Because you're the leader," Donnie quipped.

Leo glared at the purple banded turtle as he casually leaned against his Bo Staff without a care in the world, eyes still pinned where Mikey had gone.

"Well I didn't ask for this," Leo snapped, turning away from his brother to walk the rest of the way home, but barely took one step before his brother answered him.

"Actually you did. I remember it quite well." As Leo looked back, Donnie had twirled and sheathed his Bo Staff. He bounced from one foot to the other with an abundance of energy, stuck his hand up and waved. "Oh! Oh! Oh! Can I be the leader?"

Leo deadpanned at the bad impersonation of himself, way back at the beginning when he had asked their sensei to be the leader. He knew he had been eager for the job but he hadn't sounded that needy; had he?

"Not helpful, Donnie," Leo grumbled, feeling slithers of embarrassment tugging at his heart.

"Hey," Donnie switched to caring brother in an instant, stepping cautiously closer. "I'm just trying to lighten the mood. It's been a really long night."

"I know Donnie, but where is he? When is he going to take this team seriously and do as he's supposed to?" Leo couldn't help but pace and re-clench his fists again and again as he vented. "You and Mikey are younger than him and both of you take it more seriously than he does." He found his hands on Donnie's shoulders and shook him slightly.

"Mikey takes it more seriously than he does!" Leo emphasised, eyes wide. "Mikey!"

'… _My leadership seriously...'_ Was what Leo wanted to say _'…He's rebellious, hot-headed, and short tempered. One day Raph's gonna get himself into some serious trouble, and I won't be able to help him because he'd have charged off on his own and-! What if something happens to him? To any of you! It scares me, Donnie! I can't l-lose you guys-!'_

Lighter green hands covered his, and Leo finally stopped ranting, reigning in whatever threads of composure he could find to calm his mind.

"Leo, he respects you as the leader. Underneath all that bravado, he knows that you were the right choice," Donnie reassured. "He might not say it, or even show it for that matter; but he does, and he tries."

Leo huffed and rolled his eyes, not believing his younger but taller brother in the slightest. Donnie sighed heavily, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

"Okay, so maybe not like how Mikey and I respect your leadership and follow your orders. But, in his own, weird, Raph-like way. He thinks he's helping – playing his part to make sure we succeed."

Leo frowned at that; "I don't follow."

"Well…" Donnie started walking at an easy pace as his eyes furrowed behind a band of purple, and Leo stalked silently beside him, step for step, "it's just an educated guess, but…"

"Every time he challenges you, you second guess yourself and go over every detail in your mind until your plans are flawless." Donnie looked to him for approval and Leo nodded. "You push yourself just that little bit harder than what you would do if you were never confronted."

"I dare say that you started to do it automatically even before Raph opens his mouth, because you feel the need to prove yourself worthy of being the leader." Donnie graced him with a small, understanding smile. "But what you don't realise is that Raph challenges you so that he can have a say, to have some control. It's his way of making sure we're all okay; even you, oh Fearless one."

"But Donnie, that's absurd." Leo stared at his younger sibling as if he had grown another head, mulling over his words. "When Raph makes suggestions there so – so reckless!"

"That's because he doesn't think like the leader of a team, Leo!" Donnie's voice drove the point home, not skipping a beat. "He thinks like a protective, older brother. He sees the enemy and he wants to terminate it before it can hurt us; end of! _That's_ the extent of his thinking!"

'… _A protective, older brother…?_ ' Leo thought, completely caught off guard. _'…But, I'm the eldest…'_

"Never said that I think he's right though. In fact, his actions are kamikaze crazy most of the time." Donnie gazed down at his feet, shoulders slumped. "Just making a point of why I think he does it. You wanna be the one to tell him he's wrong?"

"No." Leo stared down at his own feet, a worried look flitting across his features. "So what can I do?"

"Nothing! Nada! This is just another example of classic Raph behaviour; you should be used to it by now – I've lost count of the number of times he's run off after doing something stupid." Donnie paused until Leo looked up and they traded an all-knowing, comforting glance. "Look, we saw him get away. Raph's fine; he's either waiting at home or he went off to kick himself over what happened. He'll be back by morning, you'll see."

"And when he does," a comical smirk danced along Donnie's face, "we can tease him about it, and things will go back to normal in the sewers of Hamato." Then he added dryly, "until the next time at least."

"Since when did you turn into Master Splinter?" Leo marvelled, seeing his intelligent little brother in a whole new light as he gently bumped his brother's shoulder.

"…I haven't! It's just that, well…" Donnie blushed and coughed to cover it up. "It's just a perk of being the smart one, I guess."

As they turned another corner, both faces melded into sheer relief at seeing the turnstiles that border lined their home. They both stopped, just for a moment, neither saying it but both thinking the same thing; about just how lucky they were to have made it home without any serious injuries.

"C'mon, bro," Donnie clasped Leo's lower arm gently, examining the gash there to see if it needed stitches. "That's a nasty cut you got there, some antiseptic and some gauze should do it, though."

"Hey, I'm the leader." Leo muttered weakly, half joking. "You're supposed to follow me."

"I won't tell if you don't." Donnie mumbled as he gently tugged at his arm, but Leo was reluctant to go into the lair. "Don't worry Leo, if he's not in there, we'll find him. We always do. C'mon, bro."

Shock graced Leo's face, stunned that he could be read so easily, but Donnie's smile only widened, revealing the gap in his teeth.

"Hey, are you really so surprised?" Another gentle tug, "there's a reason I stand back and let you guys go at it, y'know. I _learn_ things, lots of things _._ "

" _Donnie_ ," Leo side glanced his big-little brother, slightly disturbed, "that's really creepy. Y'know that, right?"

"It's called being observant, _Leo!_ " Donnie side glanced him back with confidence, "but even if I were just being 'creepy', you'd still love me."

Leo shook his head slightly exasperated, but he couldn't argue with that. They began taking the last dozen or so steps to the entrance of their home, and Leo felt more at ease knowing that he had at least one level-headed family member on the same page as him.

"So ah, what kind of pizza do you think Mikey ordered?" Leo asked casually, mostly to talk about anything to distract himself from their current situation.

"Knowing our good old turtle luck," Donnie replied matter-of-factly, one finger tapping his chin as if he was seriously thinking about it, "probably jelly beans and chocolate sauce or something equally disgusting."

They visibly cringed and stuck out their tongues simultaneously, then beamed at each other.

"At least if it's jelly beans we can pick them off," Leo joked. "Not so sure about the chocolate sauce though," an eye ridge rose. "Do you think we can wash it off without spoiling the pizza? A good old scrubby brush and a bar of soap should do the trick nicely."

Donnie's body rumbled with hysteria and Leo followed suit, their laughter echoing down the tunnels, unaware that they had been close to their missing brother. That with each step they had taken to get back to the lair was a step they had taken away from him.

***TMNT***

Raph sought refuge along the darkest wall of a sublet tunnel, every inch of his sagging frame screaming in protest as he finally collapsed. The light filtering in at the mouth of this tunnel indicated the main tunnel that led directly to the secret lair, but Raphael couldn't take another step if he tried. It had taken every last ounce of strength he had to have gotten this far and to obtain the large silver case that balanced precariously on his trembling kneepads. Thumbs fumbled at the clasps until they finally sprang open, as did the lid, and once again Raphael sent a silent thanks to his purple banded brother.

When it became apparent that the team were going to come home beaten up more often than not, Donnie had put into place some precautionary measures. Emergency kits, to be exact, scattered throughout the nooks and crannies of the sublet tunnels. Donnie had nagged them senseless until all three of them played the game 'fetch the emergency kit' until everyone had memorised where each kit was located, just in-case they couldn't make it home without medical attention. At the time he had mocked his younger brother for being so paranoid, like someone could actually beat them!

' _...Will you quit your whining, Donnie!…Fine!...I'll play your stupid game…!'_

Glazed green eyes roamed the contents of the case with desperate relief, shaking digits brushing along each item on display as if they were fragile and irreplaceable. It mostly consisted of a variety of energy bars, bottled water, gauze and antiseptic wipes in neat little stacks. A few pain relieving shots that were all bagged and dated sat on the far right, while a couple of splints and a sling neatly lined the top length of the case. As Raph tore open an energy bar and contemplated whether or not his stomach could hack it, something else revealed itself from beneath the energy bars; a dozen or so Shuriken, a Tanto blade, and three smoke bombs. They glinted up at him and Raph smirked as best he could; Donnie really did think of everything. He sheathed those immediately.

'… _I swear Donnie, I'll never make fun of you again…'_

As he slouched further down, trying to find a comfortable position against the unforgiving concrete, something else caught his eye. An envelope was taped to the underside of the lid with the words ' **MIKEY**! **READ THIS FIRST**!', and beside that?

It was a quickly scribbled doodle of what had to be the four of them, just basic circles drawn in green crayon with bands of Blue, Red, Purple, and Orange respectively, little trails of colour to show their mask tails. They all had wide, anime type eyes and u shaped smiles with – _were they sticking their tongues out at him!_

Lips twitched fondly at what was obviously Mikey's handiwork, his contribution. As he pulled it off the case to get a better look, he finally noticed the sentence beneath their faces, could almost hear Mikey's voice as he read the words.

'… _Keep your chin up, bros! You should see the other guy…!'_

The other guy? Raph couldn't help himself and shuddered as Shredder's face, horrifically scarred and ultimately insane, swam into his vision. He could still feel those claw-like fingers on his scalp, keeping him in place, those insane eyes; the pure hatred spat in his face!

It was a miracle that he had gotten away tonight; Raph knew that, a series of coincidences that for once held in his favour…

"… _ **ONE…!**_ _"_

 _As soon as Shredder began to signal his troop, he sheathed his Sai with his right hand and flung the smoke bombs with his left. He didn't stop to see their trajectory, ordering his legs to run. As he staggered like a drunkard, the route to the closest man-hole cover firmly planted in his mind, his right hand grazed along something else – several Shuriken hidden in the underside of his belt, untouched. His eye ridge rose incredulously even as he ran, yanking them out as he improvised. Spinning three-sixty mid stride, he flung the throwing stars with all his might, hoping to hit something; to stall them. He would have been reprimanded for sure if Fearless had witnessed such sloppiness, but in that moment Raph only cared about his uncoordinated feet as they pounded against the street. He heard the chaos behind him but couldn't afford to look back, shoulder colliding with the wall as he turned the first corner, then another as he stumbled into the next street. The man-hole cover was a sight for sore eyes, but one that couldn't be appreciated in that terrifying moment. Shoving it with all his might, Raph scurried into the opening; clinging to the ladder just long enough to drag it back into place._

 _One rung, two rung; three. The short burst of adrenaline abandoned him halfway down and a foot slipped, hands following suit. That fearful lurch of missing a step yanked at his heart just as his body smacked against the floor. His stomach chose that moment to twist and churn, face flushing urgently till he jerked to all fours and retched. Acidic bile burned his throat raw, head pulsating as his frame buckled and quaked; but he couldn't stay here. So even though it hurt like shell to move, Raph took a few bone-rattling breaths, gritted his teeth and forced himself to his feet. He lumbered down one tunnel after another, despite the spots lining his vision, at a pace that was utterly humiliating for a Ninja._

Raph knew he couldn't make it back on his own, not like this, he needed to reach out. Every line of Mikey's doodle gave him a quiet strength that thrummed soothingly within him. Maybe, just this once, he could swallow his pride just long enough to ask his family for help. It wouldn't be so bad. They wouldn't hold it against him, he was pretty sure of that. They would come if he called. Digits trembled with trepidation as they grazed along the underside of his belt near the hip and was surprised once more when he felt the comforting weight of his T-Phone as it shifted to the palm of his hand. He didn't even bother to look at the screen, just swiping at it with his thumb and jabbing the area he knew that would open up a call via speed dial. The only numbers stashed were that of his brothers and his father anyway – so it's not like it mattered who picked up.

As Raph squashed the phone between his shoulder and the side of his head, fully intending to tape the picture back where it belonged, his eyes became big as they landed on the shiny surface, slowly growing impossibly wide. The ringing phone muted to mere white noise as he zoned in on his reflection, his neck in particular. How had he forgotten about that!

" _Hello…? Leonardo…?_ " It was his father's calm voice.

Raph's heart jumped as if he had been caught red-handed, a throbbing lump lodged in his throat. _Da-Dum! Da-Dum! Da-Dum!_

" _Donatello?_ " He tried again.

That thing, the sleek black collar, it was unlike anything he had ever seen before. _Thump! Thump! Thump!_

" _Michelangelo?_ " Another guess.

The Foot symbols engraved on it danced before his shrinking irises, mocking him. A pin-sized spot of red light pulsated eerily.

Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da!

" _Raphael?"_

Breathing became increasingly difficult as the truth pummelled him. He was marked with the Foot brand! He had lost his weapon; a Hamato heirloom! Whatever else had been traded between them, the Shredder was right about one thing. He was a disgrace to his own family! He could never ask for their help, not like this. He could never look them in the eye while he wore the mark of their enemy. What was he thinking! His father would hate him!

" _Boys! How many times must I tell you that the cheese phone is only to be rung in an emergency, not for your tomfoolery!_ " The impatient tone held a twinge of concern. " _Boys!_ "

It sounded like mere whispers to him, but it brought forth a wave of paralyzing terror so tremendous that it stole his breath away. Whatever strength had been gained by his brother's drawing had withered and died under the unforgiving torrent of shame, he tried to shut it down but its clutch was unyielding.

'… _I would recognise my Sai anywhere…'_ His gut clenched, his inner demon smirking up at him. _'…You're MY freak now…!'_

The T-Phone slipped from its slackened perch and Raph snapped out of the trance with a jolt, scrambling in a blind panic to catch it. It jostled from hand to hand, the picture forgotten in the chaos. The emergency kit clamoured noisily in the background as it fell from his kneepads, all of its contents scattering amongst the sewerage, completely ruined.

He could hear his father calling out to him again, before a thumb slid clumsily on the button to end the call.

'… _I have to do this on my own…!'_

'… _Reckless…!'_ Fearless spat accusingly, his voice echoing in his head, _'…Don't be so stubborn, Raph! Come home. I swear I'll fix it just come home…!'_

One breath, Two breaths, Three!

'… _Awww sewer apples…!'_ The self loathing tore at him one ragged piece at a time, _'…Don't do this! I can't – I!... I have to–I C-Can't! Do! This–!-N-NOT–N-NOW!'_

Dammit it HURT!

Eyes prickled as if to spite him, hot and blinding as they gathered against his will. Traitorous droplets ran minute rivulets down the length of his face. Fingers interlocked at the nape of his bowed head as he huddled in on himself, arms bent on either side as they squeezed; hard. The pressure was punishing and a broken whimper escaped his heaving chest, a pathetic sound that was smothered by his kneepads. He deserved it for every tear, for each shuddering breath, for every inaudible sniffle – for allowing this to happen in the first place! Hands shifted to put that unforgiving pressure against his eyelids to stop the flow, to claim back his shredded self control.

'… _Easy, bro…It's alright…No one's watching…_ ' It was Mikey's calming baritone in his head, soothing his tattered soul. Raph could almost feel his hand on his shoulder, grounding him. _'…Let it all out…I got ya…'_

It was slow going, but just as he was beginning to get his breathing back under control, Raph's head shot up in alarm, mind numb as he heard a familiar cry ricocheting down the tunnel.

"BOOYAKASHA!"

Skateboard wheels grated against concrete, rapidly drawing closer and closer. Raph pressed himself against the sublet wall in response, inwardly praying for the shadows to swallow him whole. They didn't of course, but he didn't need to worry. Mikey was a hyper blur that flew down the main tunnel. The orange clad, fun loving turtle didn't even look his way as he shot by the sublet tunnel entrance, too busy singing loudly to the beat on his T-Pod.

But the swell of raw coldness that wrapped around his throat the moment his eyes had clocked his baby brother was petrifying. He heaved against the unexpected, harrowing sensation, eyes screwed tight so that he could focus inwards and calm himself down.

'… _Deep breaths Raph…C'mon, you got this…Just take it easy...!'_

As it all faded into nothingness, his body sagged with blessed relief. It was his imagination kicking into overdrive; that had to be the cause of all of this. But still.

'… _The Shell…!'_

These explosive feelings were playing ping pong with his shattered resolve, so the red banded turtle did what he did best. He shoved it all down till it got buried in the darkest pit of his heart, until such a time when he could deal with it; if ever. It was a little crowded down there, but it could cope.

'… _It's no big deal…I'm just a little banged up, that's all…I've survived worst than this…There we go…!'_

The collar came to the forefront of his mind the moment he was able to think semi-clearly again, particularly that eerie blinking light. The set of coincidences that led him here, to this point in time, it made him think. The Shredder playing a 'hunting game'; leaving the Shuriken, smoke bombs and T-Phone in his belt – it didn't add up! The Shredder was many things, but stupid wasn't one of them. He would have made sure his victim had no weapons to hand; no way to escape. Yet Raph had both of them handed to him. It all led to one terrifying thought. The whole thing had been easy, far too easy! It didn't make sense, his brain tick, tick, ticking like the blinking light on the collar, refusing to lose this disturbing trail of thought. Pieces slowly clanked into place, and with it realisation. The light, maybe it indicated a signal of some kind? A signal meant a trace. What if, Raph seethed at the mere possibility, there was a tracking chip embedded in the collar? What if they were tracking him right at this moment, lying in wait until such a time that he betrayed the whereabouts of the secret lair; his family?

'… _Easy to manipulate…_ ' Karai's voice wormed it's way in till his self loathing took over. _'…Stupid! Stupid numbskull…!'_

In a blind rage he snatched up his only Sai, pushed it under the collar and _wrenched!_ A crackling burst of electricity lashed out in retaliation and the convulsions steadily increased until he caved in and yanked it back out with a defeated cry. The band was no thicker than Leo's Katana blades. It should have been easy to snap it clean in two. The shell was this thing made of?

'… _Well done genius…'_ Was that Donnie's voice mocking him inside his head, _'…Now whatcha gonna do...?'_

Raph didn't know, couldn't be certain, but the tracking idea wouldn't leave him and it infuriated him to no end.

'… _I won't make it that easy for ya Shreadhead…!'_

The slight weight of the collar refused to give him peace and Raph balked as he dared to touch its smooth surface, bitter determination flooding him. Even if he could overcome his shame he would never deliberately put his family in harm's way. His fist hit the wall with frustration. He knew he was by no means stupid, but what he wouldn't give for his purple banded brother's calm intelligence now. Donnie would have made sense of this without batting an eye. He could've solved this and gotten it removed with one hand tied behind his back.

But as long as Raph was collared and tagged like an animal, a growl rumbled deep in his parched throat, he refused to involve any of his brother's whatsoever; it wasn't worth the risk. The stakes were just too high.

'… _So whatcha gonna do now, bro…?'_

Raph let his eyes wander to the T-Phone in his palm, and it triggered a funny memory involving his youngest brother, who wondered what would happen if he _accidently_ dropped his phone into his juice. The slight fizzle and popping was hilarious to the young one, until he glanced up to find Donnie towering over him with deceptive calm. His laughter froze on his freckled face.

'… _Hehe, umm, sorry about that Donnie, but ummmm, I'm sure you can fix it...!'_

'… _That's not the_ _ **point**_ _, Mikey! Do you know how long it takes me to build these things…!'_

As the quarrelling voices in the memory began to ebb, only two things stuck with him. One; Donnie had quickly made the T-Phones nearly indestructible after that incident and Two; this collar had a shocking personality, which meant that it was running on some form of electricity, and since it wasn't wired up to a mains supply…

He let a triumph smirk etch on his weary features.

It meant this thing had batteries, and batteries could be fried. Finally, he might have solved one problem at least; now he had a plan – a way forward. It was a reckless idea for sure, but it spurred him on regardless. Raph salvaged a stray bottle of water that had escaped the sewerage, and chugged it till there was not a single drop left; followed by the opened energy bar that had managed to stay in his lap the whole time. He left it dangling in his mouth, chewing half-heartedly as he gathered the rest of the items. Donnie's firm order of never leaving any clues resounded clearly in his head, so he plonked everything in the case, sewerage and all. He squashed the case closed, snapped the clasps shut and shoved it back where he got it from. He would have to apologise to Donnie for that one later.

'… _But hey, I'm sure he'll see the bright side…At least I tidied up after myself…'_

Once that was done and he flicked his hands dry, there was only one thing that remained. Mikey's drawing. It looked up at him innocently enough, and even though he was alone, Raph just didn't have the heart to refuse Mikey. He folded it as best he could and stashed it in the underside of his belt, digits grazing his stashed T-Phone and weapons as they went. Then he disappeared back the way he came, as if he was never there; his father would have been so proud.

Shortly after Raph had left, a destination already in mind, the clasps sprung back open. The motion propelled the case back onto the floor of the sewer, leaving a disastrous mess for anyone to find.

***TMNT***

'… _Jelly beans…Jalapenos…Anchovies…!'_

Mikey skated through the main tunnel with the biggest grin on his face, at an easier pace now that his arms held his precious cargo close to his heart. He could think of nothing else as he swerved the board lazily from side to side.

'… _Marshmallows…Pineapple…Chocolate sauce…!'_

Drool lingered on the corner of his mouth as every smell waved at him, screamed for his attention.

'… _Oh…And a good old pepperoni one for Leo and Donnie…'_ Mikey deflated slightly, knowing that his brother's always refused any of his wondrous topping combinations, but it didn't last long. _'A Meat feast for Raph and CHHEEEEEEEEEEESSSSEEEE…!'_

Eat me! Eat me! Oh! My! Pizza! Baby blues widened and he gawped at the boxes! Were they chanting at him? No, Mikey decided as he licked his smacking lips, he was just sssssoooooo HUNGRY!

'… _It all smells so good…!'_ He tried to resist, but his stomach growled _'…Just one slice won't hurt…I can eat and skate at the same time and still make it back in time!...Sounds like a plan…!'_

Mikey screeched to a halt and placed the stack of pizzas on a couple of smaller, elevated pipes so that he could organise them and peek inside each one. Oh the steam! The smells! It's so beautiful! He tingled throughout from the very top of his head down to the very edge of his tippy toes. Yes! He pulled out the one he wanted with a flourish. Jelly beans, jalapenos and anchovies – His favourite! It flopped as soon as he-!

"YEOUCH!" Mikey yelped as he tried to save the dribbling cheese from hitting the concrete, "H-Hot! _Hot!_ _ **HOT!**_ "

'… _How can you taste so good and then BURN ME…!'_ Mikey had his tongue hanging out with the melted cheese blob still sitting there like a cruel joke. _'…Ouchy! Ouch! Ouch!...'_

A couple of tears slipped as he panted. In Out! In Out! _IN OUT!_

He bounced up and down, his free hand flapping frantically to cool his scorched tongue, and finally he dared to gulp down the treat, eyes crossing slightly as they tried to examine his appendage for injuries.

'… _You're cool T-buds, you took one for team Mikey…!_ ' He stroked his tongue with one finger, _'…Good T-buds. Good boy. You ready for your reward? Of course you are…!'_

His hand dangled the remaining pizza from a height, his head turning sideways so that he could nibble the trails of cheese carefully this time. But as the cheesy goodness dangled precariously, Mikey caught something glittering beyond, on the floor of the darker, adjoining sublet tunnel. He shoved the whole slice of pizza in his mouth and chewed on it like a hamster.

'… _I've found treasure…!'_ Mikey inched closer, excitement creeping in. _'…Like real live treasure…!'_

Inching closer still, Mikey knew exactly what he was gonna spend all of his riches on. Comics, a fancy new tv, a brand new skateboard and PIZZA!

'… _The guys are gonna be so jealous-!'_ Mikey stopped mid-step, head tilted as he swallowed his mouthful and scrutinised the object. _'…Wait a minute…'_

Shoulders slumped in disappointment when he realised that it was just one of Donnie's cases that he loved so much – the ones that he left hanging around the tunnels for some reason or another. Mikey remembered having to keep retrieving them over and over again to please his purple banded brother – that was quite a while ago now; he couldn't remember why it had been so important, but that didn't matter. What was important was that it was important to Donnie, and if it was important to Donnie then it was important to Mikey! This case looked like it had grown legs, jumped down from its hiding place and busted itself wide open. It was broken, the contents all over the floor; he knew he'd have to take it back with him and show it to Donnie.

'… _Oh no…!'_

Donnie was gonna think that he broke it! He'll get into so much trouble! He could walk away! But no that's wrong! He crouched down and picked it up, undecided – but then he knew exactly what to do! He'll take it back to the lair and show it to Leo after he had eaten his delicious pizza and was in a much better mood; _Leo_ can then talk to _Donnie_ and make him see reason. Then he won't get into trouble, and everything will be A-OK!

'… _Yes, Michelangelo! That's an awesome plan, bruh…!'_

Mikey scooped up whatever soaked contents he could find, closing the case with an almighty squelch. Tucking it under his arm for safe keeping, he then ran back to his skateboard. He retrieved the stack of pizzas and stopped for just a moment as he planted one foot on the board; his brain finally twigging an important detail. He remembered these cases now! Donnie wouldn't let him eat the treats he stashed in them nor would he let him play doctors with the bandages! There are so many cool things one can do with bandages, and Donnie had told him no! He had dozens of them and wouldn't even let him have one! It wasn't fair!

'… _I even drew cool pictures for every case but he still wouldn't let me play…!'_ Mikey pushed off on the skateboard, a frown marring his rounded features _'…Not cool, D! Not cool…'_

But then a waft of pizza shot up his nose, and Mikey forgot about why he was angry and drooled.

'… _Mmmmmmm…'_ Mikey sped off to the lair, with one thing in mind. _'…Jelly beans! Jalapenos and anchovies…My favourite...And cheese-cicles for dessert…Awww yeah…!'_

"BOOYAKASHA!"

***TMNT***

A lone, misshapen silhouette stood at the precipice of the furthest reaching dock, staring out to sea. If you were only taking a quick glance, you might have mistaken it as part of the scenery. The chill of the night air didn't seem to faze it in the slightest; only two withered ribbons billowed with the blustering wind. If you looked closer still, you would notice the entire silhouette as it swayed slightly. Almost frozen in time. _Alone. Unsteady. Unsure_.

Then the clock struck midnight.

A bloodcurdling scream tore through the sky as it crumpled in on itself, toppling head first until it crashed against the sea, nothing more than a dead weight; a sinking stone.

Gone.

And then the sea lit up like the fourth of July.

***TMNT*** **END CHAPTER ONE** ***TMNT***


	3. Chapter Two

Hi everyone, so once again a very big thanks to all who have taken the time to read, follow and/or favourite this fic – but a super awesome wave to Raphaelfangirl4real, Astron, Raigon and Starfire201 for all your amazing comments. Thank you so very much for taking the time to write – you are making this authoress super happy!

For Grungekitty, I give you a super awesome wave and virtual hug – you too have made me a super happy authoress! Thank you for taking the time not only to review me with wonderful comments, but for also taking the time to give some good critique/advice (I have changed Raph's dialog accordingly). I have to confess that I am from the UK – so Americanisms are not my strong point either. If you see anything that's out of place, please do not hesitate to comment or drop me a private message – I thank you again for taking the time to do so for the last chapter.

All warnings are explained before the prologue.

So now onto chapter two; I'm not giving anything away this time, you'll just have to read on folks.

Disclaimer: I do not own TMNTS – nor the cover pic. I make no money – just practising my flare of the dramatic with my favourite characters.

So thanks for taking the time to read this, I hope you enjoy it. Please note that this is not beta-ed but I've done my best.

 **Collared Sai~yonara.**

Written By

Blazin Shadow.

***TMNT*** **CHAPTER TWO** ***TMNT***

Two sets of booted feet pounded the wooden decking in their haste to run the length of the warehouse, stunned when the screaming cut off just a second later. Eyes darted round to see what was happening, until they fell upon the sea. Lightning danced with crackling fervour and bubbled the water like a frenzied Jacuzzi. Silvery lumps began to surface one at a time, bobbing along to the insane beat.

"Where's my camera!" One man yelled excitedly, "The ratings for my page, man! _The ratings!_ "

"Are you _insane_? Someone was screaming!" The other was panicky, "Call for help! _NOW!_ "

"Oh, yeah right!" The first retorted sarcastically, "Just who am I supposed to phone for he –!"

A deafening roar rattled them to the core; legs quaked and crumpled as the dock _shuddered!_ A monster charged in three thundering strides, ignoring their huddled mess altogether as it dived into the sea. Even as the noise screeched to something much more painful, it clambered back onto the dock and seemed to drag the lightning up with it. The crackling energy vied for attention against the shadows of the night; skipped with wicked intent along the skin of the beast that staggered passed them once more. One blink later and it was on a nearby building. A second after that it had vanished altogether. The sea was dark and calm once more but the two humans were slack-jawed and dumbstruck.

"Y-You don't think-?" Not in a million years had he ever considered the rumours to be true!

The first man didn't say a word, only had his hand held directly in front of their tangled limbs. It was shaking badly, but it held a phone, and the phone was set to record.

***TMNT***

Leo perched wearily on one of the stools in Donnie's lab, right arm extended and cradled in the expert hands of his little brother who was patching him up; one deep breath in, one deep breath out. Donnie's head was bent low as he worked, using sterilised pads to clean the wound and the surrounding area. It stung like shell, but it didn't distract him from the persistent little voice that kept ordering him to get up and go find Raph. Leo shoved back against that voice. It was his inner fear talking, making him sick with worry. Fear would not dictate to him. He needed to be a strong leader and not pander to his rebellious little brother's tantrums.

' _How many times has he pulled this kinda stunt anyway? It's gotta be twenty-four times at least!_ ' Leo thought bitterly. _'On the chart of 'Crazy Raph Stunts,' this one isn't even that bad!'_

It wasn't that late either, his eyes glancing at the blaring digits to confirm his suspicion; 12:34am.

' _Raph can wait until one-thirty, two at the latest. I'll go looking for him then – as planned!'_ A scowl marred his features, _'Donnie's right. I'm worrying over nothing.'_

The laptop was flickering in the background, the only light source in the room. It was recording the twenty-four hour news station – just in case, but nothing spectacular had happened and the noise became muted to him. They were keeping a low profile to avoid disturbing Master Splinter, there was no need to worry their father until there was actually something to worry about.

' _And this is nothing to worry about!_ ' Leo stamped against a small spike of fear that prodded in protest. _'Raph will be back any minute now with some cuts and scrapes that Donnie will patch up and everything will be fine!'_

So why couldn't he stop worrying; couldn't stop fidgeting.

"I'm nearly done, Leo." Donnie paused and glanced up, "Does it sting that much? I've got some pain shots in my bag just; just give me a minute to…"

Donnie binned the bloodied wipes and dragged his doctor's bag towards him, but Leo put a hand over his brother's to stop him. As Donnie glanced up at him, a look of understanding swept across his face.

"Look, I'm sick of repeating myself; but I'll say it again." Donnie said in a hushed tone, "He's gonna be _fine_ , Leo! He _always_ comes back! _Always!_ "

"It's that obvious, huh?" Leo's voice was just as low.

"Yep, and I'll keep saying it till I get it through that thick skull of yours." Donnie smirked, "I can't tell who's the most stubborn out of you and Raph. It's funny…"

Leo waited for Donnie to elaborate on his last comment, expecting something more, but the genius left it hanging between them, holding out his hand expectantly. The other held a reel of gauze, and Leo let his hand fall into his brother's obediently. His arm was twisted this way and that before Donnie began to wrap it like a pro, his brother's need for perfection settling for nothing less. A time had passed between them in absolute silence, sea-blue irises trained on his brother's hands as they worked methodically. Leo was so focused on Donnie's handiwork, that he was startled when Mikey slumped onto a stool opposite them. Leo gazed across at his orange-banded brother, one eye ridge quirked incredulously.

'… _Not only did Mikey make it across the lair quietly, but he did it with such stealth that he managed to sneak up on us. Not one peep. There's something wrong…'_

Donnie must have been on his wavelength, because he said. "Everything ok, Mikey?"

"Huh?" Mikey looked at them as if he had been caught at the cookie jar, "Oh, Oh yeah. Everything's cool, D!"

The smile he threw their way did nothing to reassure Leo, in fact it made him more suspicious.

"You sure, Mikey?" Leo asked, forcing his voice to stay calm and unassuming.

Mikey hummed his agreement, conveniently shoving a slice of pizza into his mouth until his cheeks bulged. Sea blue eyes narrowed ever so slightly; avoidance tactic 1-0-1. His baby brother was definitely hiding something. Mikey pulled out a box from the stack and slid it across to them with the sweetest smile, his head tilting just so. Leo took a deep, calming breath.

'… _If I lose my cool I'll upset Mikey and then I'll never get it out of him….'_

"You don't sound it." Donnie's lilt was perfectly timed and innocent enough, his eyes peeking up from behind the lid of the offered pizza. "…You sure everything's ok, you're not hurt or anything…?"

Mikey swallowed the lump of pizza with an audible gulp, his stare almost wild as it slid from Leo to Donnie. As soon as it landed on Donnie, Mikey's face crumpled. The change was so swift Leo had to reel back the emotional storm.

'… _What happened...!'_

"I can't keep this to myself–!" Mikey was absolutely miserable as his eyes bounced back and forth nervously. "Don't be mad, D!"

His youngest brother sounded pitiful as he squirmed on his stool, body leaning sideways as his hands reached down. A second later a case thudded on the table near Donnie, and the wave of stench that followed it was horrific. It was a large silver case that was bent out of shape to the point where it didn't align properly, and a foul liquid slowly pooled on the table beneath it. Leo was repulsed even as he eyed the offending object, it looked oddly familiar. Why did it look so familiar-?

"Mikey!" Donnie hissed across the table, practically shaking with fury. "You tampered with my _emergency kit!_ These aren't _toys_ , y'know! They could save your life!"

"I didn't do it!" Mikey shrunk back, hands raised in surrender. "I found it like that! Honest, D! I swear!"

"Calm down guys, it can be replaced." Leo placed a soothing hand on Donnie's trembling shoulder, but kept his eyes firmly on Mikey. "It's takes courage to tell the truth, Mikey. You sure you didn't do this? It can be fixed, and we won't be mad. But I need the truth Mikey, right now."

Mikey leaned forward earnestly. "Ninja's honour, _Leo!_ I swear I found it like that! It was all over the floor and it sparkled! That's what made me stop in the first place! I thought it was treasure! I brought it back here cause I knew it was wrong to leave it like that! I know how much they mean to you Donnie! You guys gotta believe me!"

Baby blues shimmered in such a way that Leo knew in his gut that his youngest brother was telling the truth. But that only brought up more questions. Only the four of them knew where to find the cases...

'… _But you're still a brother short…'_ A sniggering little voice piped up _. '… Aren't you Lame-a-nardo…?'_

Leo ignored his hateful inner voice and turned to Donnie who was already on his feet.

"Donnie, you don't think…?"

"Let's not jump to conclusions just yet, Leo." Donnie answered, though his logical tone wobbled just a smidge, betraying his uneasiness. "Mikey, are you sure you picked up everything?"

Mikey nodded eagerly, but Leo frowned further.

"Why would that be important?"

"Because, Leo. _Ew! Ew! Ew!_ " Donnie pulled the case closer and flipped it, mindless of the mess he was making. "I can discover who opened it just by seeing what was taken. _Urgh!_ That's disgusting–!"

Mikey squeaked and scrambled to save the pizzas from the puddle of sewerage that quickly smothered the work top, finding a spot on the floor to eat in peace. Leo hoisted Donnie's doctor bag away and watched his purple-banded brother with repulsed fascination.

"For example, if it was you, Leo – you would've taken all the bottles of water to rehydrate and clean wounds, a pain shot if necessary, and a couple of energy bars to sustain yourself till you made it home."

Chocolate irises darted across dozens of scattered items, hands a rapid blur that categorised them into several little piles. Leo could practically feel those cogs turning as his foot tapped impatiently.

"If it was Mikey," Donnie continued, face cringing from the smell. "He would've taken all of the energy bars and unravelled the gauze because he can't help himself-!"

"HEY!"

"And if it was Raph…!"

Leo continued to look at the items on display, wondering briefly why Donnie had stopped mono-logging. The piles looked pretty much even.

"And if it was Raph…?" Leo prompted, staring at his brother's bent head.

"Weapons." Donnie slowly turned to him. Did his voice just falter? "He would have taken the weapons, because he hates to be vulnerable. Maybe a water of bottle and an energy bar, if he was desperate. But he'd have to be desperate."

Leo brushed aside the weirdness of having weapons stashed in an emergency kit, and glanced down at the piles again, finally taking note of what was actually there. Little bundles of gauze, antiseptic wipes, pain shots, a sling and splints, energy bars and three water bottles; only three…and no weapons in sight.

'… _Oh Shell…'_

It thwacked against the Achilles heel of his heart as Donnie gave him a horrified, exasperated stare.

"There could still be another explanation." But Donnie's words were weak at best, and did nothing to ease the heavy tension that suddenly gripped the room.

"You guys worry too much!" Mikey piped up from his spot on the floor, "If Raph took weapons, he took them so he could go bust some heads down town-!"

*THUD!*

Donnie had flipped the case again, eyes scanning the hard shell until he breathed, "Number 5… He was close to home."

With that Donnie raced across the lab and scrubbed his hands clean before he stopped at a map of the sewers that was pinned on the wall. Leo watched him go with trepidation.

"The cases are numbered in order, the smaller the number – the closer it is to home." Donnie explained as he stared at the map and jabbed at it with fervour, beckoning him over. "There, Leo! On the east side; see!"

Leo stepped up and followed Donnie's finger, recognising the set of tunnels immediately. Mikey glanced up briefly but was more concerned with the pizza boxes that were spread before his crossed legs.

"He was so close to home!" Donnie blurted, eyes never leaving the map. "How did we even miss him? We were here! Right here!" His finger jabbed another spot less than a few pipes away. "How has he not made it back yet – could he be unconscious? No, Mikey would've spotted him."

Leo placed a hand on Donnie's shoulder to steady him, but Donnie was off in his own little world.

"Track his T-Phone, doofus!" Donnie pulled out his T-Phone in response to his own words, fingers jabbing the screen as if his life depended on it. "You should've done that first!"

"Take a deep breath Donnie." Leo's hands encased Donnie's, forcing his younger brother to pause momentarily. "Don't lose your head, bro. We need you."

"I'll call him!" Mikey chimed from the sidelines.

"And I'll search the tunnels, just in case." Leo's lilt was soft but strong, "A sweep of the area won't take long."

" _Yo, Raph!"_ Mikey yapped in the background, _"Better pick up your phone, bro. Leo says I can eat your pizza if you don't!"_

"But, Leo. There could still be another explanation, right?" Denial tinged Donnie's cracking voice. "Raph could wander in at any moment. It could still happen!"

" _Leo!"_ Mikey whined in the background. _"Raph's not picking up! Whaddaya want me to do now?"_

"Then you call me and I'll come right back." Leo was determined. "But we need answers, Donnie. Send me the co-ordinates when you've tracked his T-Phone."

" _Oh Leo!"_

"Keep trying, Mikey!" Leo snapped over his shoulder, but kept his focus on Donnie, "Call me if you hear anything. Okay Donnie. Call me!"

As soon as Donnie gave a feeble nod Leo spun on his heel to leave the lab, but only took a couple of steps when a quiet roar emanated from the neglected laptop. They all turned, Leo inquisitive more than anything, but was mildly shocked when his younger brother's flinched simultaneously. As if fearing it, Donnie stepped up to the laptop and pushed a couple of buttons so they could re-watch it from the beginning…

"Electric outburst on the docks – !" Why was the news reporter so chipper? " – Instant death to sea-life! News sources are baffled by the strange occurrence, yet one witness managed to capture this on video."

"… _This amateur footage contains flashing images…"_ a robotic voice read the warning, _"…and some scenes which may be distressing for younger viewers…"_

Then the footage played.

The screen was shaking badly, but Leo could see the docks lighting up as if there were fireworks in the churning sea. Then to Leo's surprise the footage became a dissonance of ever-changing lights, an absolute mess that no one could decipher; but it was the sound that had piqued his interest. The piercing roar that escaped the laptop for a second time would have had a weaker soul quaking. Leo was startled but mostly unaffected until Donnie stepped back trembling.

"So is there a monster to blame?" The news reporter was back. "Is it a mutant? Or is this simply the result of an electrical fault? Who knows; but the police are warning people away from the area while their investigation is underway. This is Dave Johnson, channel 6 news."

Pizza fell from Mikey's gaping mouth and splattered on the floor; a pitiful whine escaped him.

'… _The shell is wrong with my brothers…?'_

"…Donnie…" Leo glanced from one brother to the next anxiously, "…Mikey, what's wrong?"

'… _Ok, so the roar was a little bit scary…'_ Leo conceded, _'…But we've faced worse situations in our sleep –!'_

"I still have nightmares." Mikey twisted from his spot and looked up at him, fear lining his freckled face, "...It was bad, Leo. Like; horror movie bad, bro…"

Mikey's palpable terror was bad enough, but combined with Donnie's withdrawn stance and the way he held his recently healed arm made Leo angry.

"Leo!" Mikey snagged his attention back, "Dude, it's Slash!"

"…As in…" Leo drew out his words, breathing through clenched teeth to keep his emotions in check. "Raph's mutated, psychotic, ex-pet turtle? That Slash?"

Mikey nodded eagerly.

"…As in…" Knuckles went white at his sides, his voice dangerously soft, "…the one that attacked you three?"

"Yes, that Slash!" Fear practically oozed from his orange-banded brother. "Geez Leo! How many giant freaky turtles named Slash do you think there are out there?!"

'… _And you're still a brother short…!'_ That little voice came back with a vengeance, but Leo denied it fully, _'…It's just a coincidence, it has to be! There's no way our luck's that bad...!'_

"…I told you not to worry, and now…" Donnie's voice was a mere whisper on the air, eyes wide and worried. "Raph is out there, and Slash is back… _Leo!_ "

Leo cringed; he knew he was going to regret asking this, but they were truly desperate. "I know I said not to, but tell me you kept a record of where the T-Phones have been."

Donnie's face deadpanned.

"What? _No!_ It only detects the current location now!" He quietly fumed on the spot, forgetting whatever memory had haunted him, "I stopped recording data months ago because you guys told me not to! It's creepy, _remember!_ "

"Never mind." Leo rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, chuckling nervously. "Have you got a location on Raph…?"

Donnie was still prickly but gave a stiff nod of his head.

"Okay, send me the signal; we'll check that out first." Leo settled into the comforting role of team-leader. "We'll do a quick sweep of the tunnels as we go."

"But-!" Donnie protested, "What about Slash? He's dangerous!"

"Forget about him." Leo dismissed with a wave of his hand.

"But, Leo!" Donnie argued again. "Did you miss the part where he's _dangerous!_ "

"I don't care! We need answers." Leo's resolve hardened, "We need to find our brother."

"Once we have Raph, then we can worry about Slash, but we have to find him, guys!" Leo felt reinforced as his brother's stepped up, "Donnie, stay here in case he comes back. Call us if he does or if you come up with anything that can help us. Mikey, you're on recon with me. We'll call you once we're at the site. C'mon Mikey."

Mikey whimpered even worse than before, and Leo paused, thinking it was something really important.

"But!" Mikey sounded piteous as he glanced over his shoulder mournfully, "But the _PIZZA!_ "

" _NOW_ Mikey!"

Leo huffed impatiently as he spun on his heel once more, eyes glazed white as he slipped through the lab door and hurtled the turnstiles to exit the lair. Mikey was a mere shadow beside him, but kept mumbling about the unfairness of it all. Leo took it all in stride; they were finally doing what they should've done in the first place, what his inner voice had been screaming at him from the very beginning.

'… _Raph, you had better be ok, just so I can kick your shell for doing this to us…!'_

***TMNT***

It took an excessive amount of willpower not to roar right there on the rooftop. His vision swayed under the onslaught of ferocious energy, his sweat-lined body convulsing under the vicious swipe of every crackling whiplash. Each breath was a momentous struggle, a fight that was not his own. He could drop it at any moment, and the pain would end for him; but he would never do that. Shaking his head defiantly, he jumped with all his might, focusing on his only task.

He had to get to a safe place, away from prying eyes. As he landed on the next roof, crouched and spasmodic, he spared a glance downwards. His precious cargo was strung taut but cradled to his chest, writhing weakly though unconscious, eyes screwed tight as his teeth gnashed together; _whimpering!_ It wasn't right! It cut him to the quick to see his friend like this…

 _It had been quite a few weeks since their falling out when his best bud resurfaced again; his scent permeating the air. At first he was excited, but then he was afraid. What if he approached him and was rejected again? The last time they had come face to face had been volatile to say the least. He couldn't face that kind of rejection, not from him. He wanted his friend back, dammit!_

 _His friend was without his brothers, but he still couldn't face it; so he shadowed him instead. He tailed his friend right up to the docks where the other had stopped, and was stunned when he just stood there, lingering out in the open for ages. As he squatted on a nearby building, just watching the silhouette of his buddy from afar, he considered approaching him again; but no. Even though his friend was alone, he knew that he would not be forgiven; too much had happened between them. He had been too forceful, he knew that now; had foisted an ultimatum onto the other. It should have been an easy choice, but when push came to shove, his friend had chosen:_ _ **THEM!**_

 _Something distracted him from his hateful thoughts; a sudden movement that urged him to stand. He watched with confusion as lights crackled around his shadowed friend, his body taking a sudden nosedive into the water. The scream only just carried to him as the sea imploded; and he roared!_

 _Forget everything else! His friend needed him and he needed him NOW!_

He berated himself harshly for the memory; for giving in to the turmoil. He needed to be swift to avoid as much attention as possible. It was late for sure but that didn't mean his presence out in the open wouldn't go unnoticed. He jumped again; one building, two buildings, three! They were nearly there, they had almost made it. Help was on the horizon, and they desperately needed it.

The abandoned factory on the outskirts of the city was a sight for sore eyes, and as soon as he ducked through a hole in the crumbling wall, he collapsed in the darkness with choked relief. As he laid his friend down, he broke contact to wipe the sweat from his clammy eye ridge. The tension drained instantly as did the electrical current, only to be replaced with muted terror when his friend _buckled_ and _screamed!_ Hands scrabbled frantically to find purchase again, bracing for the oncoming pain, and even though it hurt like shell, he was more relieved than anything else when his friend quietened back down to shallow gasps. How long had they been like this, caught in this tortuous vice? As mutants they were strong but they weren't invincible. They needed help, now!

" _H-Hey!"_ He hated himself for sounding weak as his shaky voice echoed in the empty room, _"We need help! Do something!"_

As if answering his call a pinkish hue became ever brighter, lighting up the darkness behind him. A triangular portal sprung open, but instead of Kraang attacking him, another mutant hovered out.

" _It's about time, Rockwell!"_ He huffed impatiently as the monkey rushed over.

"What mess have you gotten yourself into this time, Slash?" Rockwell admonished in turn. "Never mind; we can't risk jumping through the portal while you're releasing this – this kind of energy! You'll fry the circuitry and alert the Kraang to our position. We have to find a way to shut it down-!"

The floating mutant cut himself off as he noticed the smaller creature squirming weakly under Slash's hands, half hidden by the shadow of his hulking frame.

"…Is that…?" Eyebrows rose in shock, "…One of the turtles…?"

" _Yes! It's Raphael!"_ Slash puffed as he struggled restlessly, _"Now's not the–!"_ A painful grunt escaped him, _"–Time!"_

"Quite right," Rockwell concurred, focusing on the mission at hand. "Do you have any idea what's causing it?"

Slash shook his head sharply, a negative, huffing with the effort to stay upright and lucid. In his state of panic, Slash didn't even think to check for the source of it all, just tried to get away from the people! Now that he was safe and could actually _think_ ; navy irises roved Raphael's body and was shocked when he finally noted a thin black band complete with two pulsing lights.

" _What is that thing?!"_ Slash hissed angrily.

It was clamped around his neck! Some sick, twisted nut job had collared Raphael like an _animal!_

"It appears to be an electric collar!" Rockwell confirmed, his voice tinged with horrified awe. "But, it's unlike anything I've ever seen bef–!"

" _I don't care! Get it offa him!"_ Slash demanded furiously, a growl rumbling deep in his throat, _"Now!"_

"There doesn't seem to be a–!" Rockwell got close but didn't touch anything, "A latch or a buckle or anything!"

" _Use your psychic powers then!"_ Slash ordered aggressively. _"Blast it to pieces!"_

Rockwell did as he was told, but as soon as two fingers touched his temple to focus his psychic ability, the collar exploded with rage. A roar clawed its way up Slash's throat under the increased power, mercilessly jarring his system to the core. Raphael's head thwacked against the floor under the assault, crying out deliriously as he fitted wildly beneath his hands.

" _NO!"_ Slash's gut twisted as fear cracked his gravelly voice, _"You're the most stubborn ass I know! Don't let this thing beat you!"_

"It's got a–! I don't understand it, I–I!" Rockwell was panicked, "I can't break it! I–I'm sorry!"

Fingers left his temple and the spike of energy simmered to bearable levels again; they both slumped in response. Rockwell shook his head sadly. The collar was still intact; undamaged.

" _How long is this… gonna… last_?" Slash puffed through gritted teeth, _"I dunno – how much more of t-this! H-How much more we can take-! We need to-!"_

But then, without rhyme or reason, it stopped; just like that.

"… _Wha…?"_ Slash's body pitched forward as he was abruptly released from the torture, hands peeling away from the red-banded turtle just in time to support his quaking form. _"...Why'd it … Stop…? Why…?"_

Confusion clouded his mind as Slash hunched on all fours, head bowed low. He couldn't rustle up the energy to think, his brain was so fried. Raphael was still unconscious and his plastron fluttered with every laborious breath; but to Slash it was a blessing. His friend was still alive.

"I have no idea." Rockwell answered, concern lacing his voice. "There's a possibility that it's time activated, or remote controlled, or maybe a one off punishment? Whatever the case may be we can't be sure unless we can decipher a pattern. Let's just be grateful that it's stopped for now, and get the two of you checked over. Come my friend, do you need assistance with walking?"

Slash shook his head as he gathered up his best friend and hauled to his feet. He staggered somewhat, but slowly trudged behind Rockwell as he floated through the glowing portal. It shut down behind them and the room plummeted into darkness.

***TMNT***

It was quiet for all of fifteen minutes before Mikey and Leo crept through the same crumbling hole. When Donnie had first traced the T-Phone, the signal was on the move and Leo made the quick decision to bypass the search of the tunnels until they caught up with it. It had led them on a wild goose chase across the city, always out of reach; until it stopped, in this building.

His big brother was on high-alert, eyes glazed white as he stealthily stuck to the darkest parts of the room, but it was obvious to the fun loving turtle that there was no one here. The place had long been abandoned, with only a few dusty knick knacks lying around. Packing boxes remained stacked in several piles while a couple of dented clothing rails and broken sewing machines littered the floor; there were a few bent office dividers and crooked tables. Why had the signal led them here?

Mikey sidled up to the closest stack and drop kicked a box. It was asking for it, and he couldn't refuse a challenge! Dresses tumbled out as it hit the floor, the stack collapsing and making a right old racket. Leo whipped round, Katanas poised to strike. Mikey epp-ed at the threat and Leo loosened his stance, exhaling heavily while glaring daggers at him.

"Sorry dude, my bad!" Mikey's voice echoed.

Leo didn't say a word, only gave him that _'This is serious!'_ look, before sheathing his blades and gliding away. Mikey watched him go with a sulky harrumph, sticking his tongue out before glancing around the dismal place.

"Y'know, I just don't get it!" As Mikey took another look around, he really didn't. "Out of all the cool places in the city, why would Raph choose to come all the way out here? I mean yeah it's got the space, but it's in the middle of nowhere and there's nothing interesting!"

He began to tick stuff off as he went, "There's no tv set, no games console, no sofa or bed, no popcorn or pizza, no drums to bash or comics to read. Dude! There's not even a punching bag, and Raph could never survive without hitting something!"

"I get it, Mikey," Leo answered with an air of mild irritation. "This place is _really_ boring."

"And we're taking too long!" Mikey whined, "Why are we out here Leo, when Raph's probably at home laughing his ass off, eating my pizza!"

"But just to be sure!" Mikey took a deep breath; "RRRRAAAAPPPPHHHH-!"

A hand came out of nowhere and clamped over his mouth urgently, his brother's head upon his shoulder. Mikey was stunned.

'… _How'd you do that, bro…?'_

"We don't know who else is in here!" His brother tensed as he hissed. "We need to be careful!"

Leo let him go with a silent warning warring in his sea-blue eyes, but Mikey couldn't keep quiet and skipped out of reach, kicking up dust bunnies as he went.

"Take a look around, Leo, there is __NO ONE__ here!" His arms flung wide to emphasise the empty space. "The place is _abandoned,_ bro! Look I'll prove it…"

" _Hello! Hello! Hello!_ Is there a bad guy under here?" Mikey looked under a crooked table with a wink at his brother.

"Or here!" He peeked behind another pile of boxes, "Nope, not there! Come on out, we won't hurt you! Well, my brother might if you look ugly enough."

"Raph! _Oh Raph!_ " He looked under an emerald, sequin dress, "C'mon out bro!"

His thumb and finger pinched a corner of the itchy fabric as he flapped it in his brother's direction, to be absolutely, one hundred percent sure, that Raph wasn't hiding in there somewhere.

Leo face-palmed and groaned but Mikey gawped at the dress, a light bulb pinging above his head.

"Leo _, oh, oh, oh!_ I figured out why Raph likes this place so much!"

"It's because…" Mikey drew the words out with childish glee as if he were exposing the biggest secret ever. "… _He likes the dresses!_ "

"What!" Leo's jaw hit the floor before he recovered with an amused shake of his head, "You've been hit in the head one too many times Michelangelo!"

"No, no, no, no, no! Just hear me out, bro!" Mikey held the sparkling, frilly dress to his plastron and twirled with a dramatic flair, batting his baby blues at Leo.

"It match's my green eyes perfectly, oh Fearless one." His impersonation of Raph was poor at best, but it was worth it just to see his brother's face crack upwards just the tiniest bit, "I sing and dance here in this ghastly place, waiting for my one true love to come and rescue me! Cause, y'know; that's how it always goes."

His voice then took on a girly pitch, "Come save me Fishface! Come so I may kiss you! _Mwa Mwa, smoochie smooch!_ "

Mikey pranced a couple of steps on tippy toes, swinging the dress's skirt as he went.

"All I need is some red heels to match my bandana and a wig with long, wavy hair!" He swung his head from side to side – but then he paused innocently, "Or maybe Raph's the curls kinda guy? Short and wound up?"

His brother snorted behind a fist, before coughing to regain his composure; but it made Mikey grin with a swell of success. This business with Raph was really getting his brothers down, and he couldn't have that…

'… _You'll prove them wrong though, won't you Raphie? You'll make it home cause you'd never leave us hanging…'_

A T-Phone rung and Leo snapped it up, pushing a button and raising it to his head; but then he scowled as he yanked it back down again. The stress was starting to show. Maybe he needed to do another impersonation; oh if only he could find a purple dress for Donnie, that'd be sweet!

"You've gotta be kidding me!" Leo exclaimed. "Of all the nights this could happen! Why now?"

"What's wrong, Bro?" Mikey lowered the emerald dress, smile frozen on his face.

"I forgot to call Donnie." Leo huffed, "He's just tried to, but my phone died!"

"Shell-lax, bro." Mikey dropped the dress and pulled out his own T-Phone, shocked when it started to vibrate on its own, "Think it's for you."

It was tossed by him and caught swiftly by his brother, who jabbed the screen and held it up to his head.

"Any luck, Donnie?"

" _None."_ The tone was defeatist, _"I take it you haven't found him either."_

"No. We can't even find his T-Phone."

" _But!"_ Donnie's voice hit a shrilly pitch, _"That's impossible! You're standing right on top of it!"_

"Trust me, Donnie." Leo glanced down at his feet, "There's no T-Phone here."

" _Are there other floors?"_ The voice was urgent and hurried. _"What about the roof? Or maybe a cellar? The tracking system only locates the co-ordinates not the altitude."_

"…I'm telling you Donnie, it's just one massive space; there are no floors. There must be something wrong with the tracker…"

Leo glanced up at the ceiling, but Mikey was already on it, "I got the roof, bro!"

He zipped out the way he came and pelted across the abandoned car park until his carapace hit the meshed fencing and he had a clear view of the roof; hands cupped his mouth.

"RRRRAAAAPPPPHHHH!" No one responded, not even a whisper; this place really was abandoned. "COME OUT! COME OUT! WHEREVER YOU ARE!"

He couldn't see any movement at all coming from the roof; but that would not deter him. He'd have that building scaled in two shakes of a _cheese-cicle_ stick. Racing back, he back flipped to a lower platform, ran that stretch for momentum and propelled himself to the next ledge. From there he jumped and scaled a nearby ladder and leapt back on himself to the highest rooftop. He landed with Michelangelo grace.

"How'd you like me now!" He crowed. "Give yourself a pat on the back Mike-ster! You, are turtle-ly awesome!"

From where he stood Mikey could see the distant lights of the city and at night it was a sight to behold. It was by far the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen; but he could only stare for so long.

"Now, what was I doing again…?" Mikey tapped his chin as he thought about it, then he snapped his fingers. "Oh yeah!"

"RAPH!" He screamed at the top of his lungs, "BRO, CAN YOU HEAR ME? RAPH!"

"I, THE KING OF ALL GAMES!" Mikey bellowed as inspiration struck. "CROWN MY BROTHER RAPHIE, TO BE THE CHAMPION; OF HIDE AND SEEK!"

"COME OUT AND CLAIM YOUR PRIZE! IT'S A DELICIOUS PIZZA AND IT'S WAITING FOR YOU BACK AT THE LAIR! IT'S YOUR FAV BRO, GOT IT SPECIALLY FOR YA!"

Nobody answered him, not even a bird chirped, and his shoulders drooped. Disappointed eyes scanned the rooftop, but there was nothing but plops of bird droppings; _urgh!_

'… _That's okay bro….'_ Speckled shoulders squared with determination. _'…We can meet you there…Be there, Raphie. Prove them all wrong and be there…!'_

"MIKEY!"

Mikey peered over the edge excitedly, hoping that it was his brother Raph; but it was Leo who had called up, Leo who was as disheartened as he felt. Mikey used his Nunchucks to land before his older brother and give him an encouraging smile. It was forced for sure, and the spark in his brother's eyes dimmed instantly.

"We're done here." Leo sounded defeated, monotonous; like someone had sucker-punched him in the gut and trampled his precious comic book collection. "There's nothing here, Mikey. Not even his T-Phone."

"…Leo…" Sadness was contagious, and Mikey would not give in to it; that would be the worst. "C'mon bro, we'll find him." His head canted. "Or he'll find us. Either way it works, right?"

Sea-blue eyes shimmered with a raw pain that Leo blinked away, "You're right, Mikey. There's still the tunnels to check."

"And the docks." Mikey chimed, grabbing his brother by the elbow, "and if that don't work, I got some wicked pizzas just waiting for us to chow down on back home!"

Mikey didn't pause to see his brother's expression. He just pulled him along while stubbornness lined his freckled face. He would not give in to this. He would keep his family bubblegum–ed together even if he had to use all his remaining sticks to do it.

***TMNT***

Hands wrung the ragged cloth until there was no excess water left, and dabbed the material onto heated flesh, avoiding the needle that was wired to a homemade drip. A minute whimper echoed through the darkness and Slash reeled back on his hunches. He was afraid that he had hurt their slumbering patient more, but Raphael settled back down and Slash breathed a sigh of relief. They had moved the red-banded turtle into one of the bedrooms of their newly found hideaway, giving him the best care they could provide. The rooms themselves were nothing fancy, had been completely bare when they had first arrived just weeks prior, but it was more than enough for the newly–banded group of misfits. They were extremely lucky when Rockwell was able to get the basics running and filling the place with abandoned furniture was easy enough to do. Now it was the best home they could've hoped for. It was mismatched and many would stick their noses up at the smell, but to them it was perfect. It truly was a place of sanctuary for those not welcomed by the humans.

"As gently as you can, my friend." Rockwell murmured, his own hands a flurry of movement, "We need to get as much fluid back into his system as possible. The healing lotion laced in the water should help with the superficial wounds across his shoulders, but be careful…"

Slash easily towered over the metal bed and the occupant, but leaned forward with an uncertain air, looking for any sign of distress as he lowered the cloth. Raphael hissed at his touch and Slash found himself grumbling whispered comfort, but other than that there was nothing to be done. The skin was red raw and had to be treated. Slash had matching burns on his palms and finger pads, but seeing his angry print covering the majority of Raphael's shoulders churned his stomach and knotted his gut. The guilt was insurmountable.

"…and avoid the collar at all costs, we don't know what'll set it off. Aside from…" Rockwell turned grave, "…that trigger…"

Slash glowered darkly, purified hatred frying his guilt to a crisp. It was by pure chance that they had discovered the collar's purpose so quickly, and it set his teeth on edge. Raphael had awoken for a few precious moments when they had first returned and had collapsed in the main living quarters, but Rockwell was severely concerned by the red-banded turtle's lack of response. He brought up a photo to unseeing eyes, hoping for a spark of life, recognition of any kind; but Raphael's reaction…

 _Eyes glazed white with frightening speed, a Sai appearing out of nowhere as he lunged like a feral monster. The image was torn from Rockwell's grip and mutilated without remorse against the floor. Thwack! The first stab tore through the face of Lame-a-nardo. Thwack! Thwack! The younger two met a similar fate. Thwack! Thwack! Thwack! Nothing was held back and Slash was mortified._

 _Thwack! Thwack! THWACK! THWACK!_

 ***THWACK!***

 _Raphael stilled after that, kneeling before the Sai that pinned the mangled photo to the floor. Green irises eventually swept upwards, openly confused and petrified as he heaved ragged breaths. Digits snapped back as if burnt, scooting away until his carapace hit a wall. He pinched his arm with fervour, the trembling becoming more and more profound; it all piled onto the ire of distress. Within seconds he was hyperventilating, hands bashing his skull as he curled impossibly small. Slash grabbed at those quaking hands, wanting to stop the torment but not knowing how._

 _And that sound._

 _Slash would never in a million years forget the primal keening that erupted from his friend's mouth, nonsensical, muffled mewling that would have penetrated the coldest of hearts. In the end Slash was forced to order Rockwell to use a psychic blast just to calm him down; just enough to sedate him. He then carried the red-banded turtle to a bedroom for privacy. Raphael struggled weakly, babbling on and on under his breath. It was a painful mantra, like a broken record._

"… _I won't…nononono…noI-I…I c–can't…I–I…p–please not them…I–I–I…not my bros…!"_

 _It torched Slash's soul from the inside out. He would never forget this moment, never!_

"… _I-I'm beggin' ya!…not them–!"_

 _They would all pay!_

"It's got to be Kraang Tech." Rockwell muttered from above, overriding the pleading baritone in Slash's mind, "Nothing of this world is that advanced. To have the ability to access the cerebrum in such a way as to control its victim without resistance is just… It's beyond anything I could've of–! It-it-it! It's like _mind control!_ "

"It's _fascinating!_ "

"That thing bears the mark of the Foot Clan and is clamped around Raphael's neck." Slash deadpanned with a biting edge, enunciating each word as if he were spitting poison, "It's not _fascinating!_ "

"My apologies, Slash." He could almost feel the shame radiating from Rockwell. "I meant no offence."

Slash acknowledged the sincere words with a harsh jerk of his head, but was more concerned with the limp hand that he reached for, the one that felt almost fragile in his own. Throughout the years that Slash had watched over him, had been his confidant, this was the most vulnerable he had ever seen Raphael. Every calm breath conceded a peaceful state in the slumbering turtle, yet it was a cruel deception. The collar was blatant proof of that, its pulsating glow eerie enough to promise dark times ahead. The shredded photo only cemented that fact…

And yet...

It was a disgusting, vile item for sure, but that reddish glow caught Slash's eye and made him think. The Shredder's sick game had dealt a despicably low blow, but in turn it had given Slash a miraculous window of opportunity, a chance to make things right; to change everything.

"…He's a danger to his own family…"

Slash didn't know if Rockwell had heard his low realisation, but then he felt eyes upon the top of his head as Rockwell stalled. Slash only stared harder at Raphael, squeezed his hand just that little bit tighter as his brain ticked away. He'd have to play this so very carefully.

"…Raphael, he's a danger to his family…" He repeated with an open air. "…He would…never forgive himself…if he was to hurt one of them…"

"That is tomorrow's problem." Rockwell's reply was gentle and unassuming. "Come my friend, I need to check you over. He'll be fine, I promise you."

"No." Hands gripped the slack one urgently. "He needs to be watched."

"And you can keep a vigil afterwards," Rockwell's lilt was so patient and soothing, "but I need to treat your hands and check you over for internal injuries. Thirty minutes at the very most."

Broad shoulders squared, his carapace facing Rockwell like a jagged wall of defiance. He wouldn't look away, refused to let Raphael out of his sight. Navy irises took in every tiny detail from the variations in the rich green skin to the crimson tattered mask tails that were sprawled across the pillow just so, right the way down to every nick in his abused plastron. He didn't want to lose his friend again, he couldn't risk it. What if, when his back was turned, Raphael found a way to get up and walk out?

"You took a great risk when you used yourself as a grounder." Five digits gave his shoulder a supportive squeeze. "You might very well have saved his life, but please my friend; let me help you now."

Slash squatted stubbornly, that smaller hand encased in his own. It was true his body hurt like shell, but he wasn't going to let a little thing like that keep him away. He didn't spare a glance, but he could feel Rockwell's presence hovering beside him, silently berating him.

"At the moment he's under sedation and the IV will keep him that way until morning."

"…He won't get up…?" Slash loathed how small and desperate he sounded, but…

'… _It's Raphael, and he's here…He's really here…!'_

"I promise, come on now." Slash found himself slowly caving under his body's aches, following Rockwell out the door with awkward, jerky steps. "That's it my friend, there we go."

Slash paused at the doorway, his gaze momentarily returning to his friend. He hadn't shown any signs of waking up since Rockwell had put him under; surely it was safe to go for a little bit. Rockwell had told him so, and he was the smartest guy he knew. He could trust Rockwell's judgement.

So he lumbered after the floating mutant, unaware that as soon as they'd left, mournful pools cracked open just a smidge, practically glowing emerald in the dark room. Digits fumbled at the underside of his belt, his T-Phone slipping obediently into a numb hand. Everything felt sluggish and painfully heavy, but that arm eventually bent upwards. His thumb swiped lethargically until a blurry picture stared down at him from the overly bright screen and he jabbed at it, but then lax fingers suddenly lost their grip and the T-Phone fell. As it landed beside his head and vibrated the pillow, he waited with baited breath, turned his face towards the lit screen with quiet hopefulness; until…

"This is Captain Leonardo speaking. I'm not available right now as I'm unleashing the mighty wrath of justice!"

'… _Dammit Fearless…'_ If he had the energy his eyes would've rolled. _'…Even your answering-thingy's all Dork-a-fied…!'_

"So leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can! Space Hero out!"

The T-Phone made a beep to signal it recording, and Raph gathered whatever wisps of strength he had left; he had to stay lucid long enough to say everything that needed to be said.

"…Hey there, Fearless…" A solitary tear traced unbidden down the length of his face as he struggled to stare down Captain Ryan. "…Heck…The one time I need ya…to pick up…I…I have ta…ta warn ya…and… I have ta fess up…."

***TMNT***

Leo ran through tunnel after tunnel at an alarming speed, remembering the way to the spot on Donnie's map. That was their first port of call. Exhaustion weighed him down, but the fear of losing a brother surpassed everything else. It had taken them a good while, but finally he stopped.

"Mikey!" His youngest brother was an abundance of positive energy, seemingly unfazed. "Is this the tunnel?"

His orange-banded brother nodded enthusiastically, and Leo appreciated the quiet obedience. His little brother had donned that subtle, more serious change; the one with a stubborn edge that could almost rival Raph's…

'… _Raph…'_ Inside he was beginning to panic, _'…C'mon bro, gimme a sign. Anything will do…'_

"Where Mikey?" Leo asked as sea-blue eyes examined the walls and sewerage lined floor, "Do you remember what part of the tunnel?"

"It wasn't far, bro. Ermmmmm…" He pointed eagerly, "There!"

A hand lingered on Mikey's carapace as he followed his outstretched arm. Leo analysed the walls, the floor, anything that would indicate what had happened. His face grew more and more concerned as minute details popped out at him. Digits delicately traced a scrape running vertically downwards. It was new, and the sewerage beneath it had been disturbed.

"Did you find anything?"

He could detect the hopeful glimmer in Mikey's tone, and Leo didn't know what to say. All he could do was follow the trail beyond that scrape, further into the darker sublet tunnel. Splodges of sewerage gave away movements recently made. Faint footprints that nearly matched his in size stepped one behind the other, but way too close together for a normal stride. A broken, uneven trail of sludge lined the wall horizontally, just a couple of hand spans lower than Leo's shoulder. They both began at the vertical scrape, though both faded shortly afterwards. The trail went cold after that, but Leo had discovered one thing. When Raph had come this way, he had been in bad shape; really bad shape.

'… _So why did you turn around…?'_

There were hundreds of tunnels to search with no guarantee of finding his brother or anything else of use. It was insane to search them all when Raph's signal stayed firmly on the factory. That was their most solid lead, his gut instinct was practically screaming. Maybe if he went back on his own and took another look…?

He'd stay all day if he had to.

"Mikey." There were only a few hours of night left, and it was dangerous to drag his baby brother along, "I need you to go back to the lair."

"But you're coming with me," Baby blues faced him with an easy glint that belied him. "Right Leo?"

Leo shook his head and raised a hand to stall his brother's tirade, "I have to check the factory again. We missed something, I know we did."

"But–!"

"I need you to do this for me, okay Mikey." He tried to be assertive albeit reassuring. "Wouldn't want that pizza to go to waste now would we?"

"But, _Leo–!_ "

" _Go_ , Mikey!" The leader gently urged. "Bring Donnie up to speed. He's probably worried sick."

Mikey was silent as his foot stubbed the ground, but then he peeked up, "okay Leo, I'll go."

Leo sighed as the tension bled out of him and he raised a fist with a 'don't leave me hanging' smirk. Mikey hesitated for a moment, but then his lighter fist bumped Leo's, wiggling fingers touching briefly as they both pulled back. Sea-blue eyes stalked his baby brother as he took slow, rejected steps to the main tunnel that led to their home, but he didn't have time to feel guilty. As soon as Mikey made the turn, Leo spun one-eighty and flew back down the sublet tunnel.

Leo raced across the city without a backwards glance, was at first a speck of green and blue below ground and then a jumping blur upon the rooftops. He was absolutely shattered when he once again ducked through that crumbling hole, but the need to find his lost brother kept him strong. The dreary place mocked him, the large expanse jeering at him, but he didn't care. He followed Mikey's T-Phone, dropped to his knees directly on the signal's blip and knocked against the carpeted floor. He was hoping to find a trap door of some kind, a weakness in the ground. It wouldn't be the first time they'd found a secret room; but there was nothing. He systematically started to thump along the floor, carelessly shoving things out of the way as he went. Every urgent knock was met with solid concrete and soon fear caught up with him. On his knees in utter despair, he took a leaf from Mikey's book.

"Your signal's here, Raph. Gimme a sign! C'mon, bro!" A prickling sensation crept up on him, made everything blurry. "Where. _Are._ You?"

"RAPH!" The abrupt shout tore at his lungs and echoed violently, but Leo was passed caring.

"RRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHH!"

"RRRRAAAAPPPPH–!" His throat constricted and Leo teetered forward as his composure crumbled completely, breathed anxiety into the dusty carpet as he doubled over and huddled himself, "…Please, Raph…"

He didn't know how long he stayed like that, gasping, wetness trailing down his flushed face as his mind screamed self hatred at him; but then a weight fell atop of him – an enemy!

He flipped his yelping assailant over his head; reaching back for his Katana when another set of hands tried to stop him. A pitiful groan lingered on the air as a kind lilt called out to him and Leo grinded to a halt as his senses finally caught up with him. Squinting baby blues were upside down and almost accusing as they gazed up at him from his sprawled position on his carapace.

" _Last time I try to hug you, bro…!"_ He pointed at Leo with a shaking arm that flopped by his side" _...Urgh…!_ "

"Mikey?!" He was flabberghasted. "Donnie! What are you guys _doing_ out here?!"

"Looking for you." Donnie stated calmly, squatting beside him, "We have to go."

Leo shook his head rebelliously, first at Donnie, and then at Mikey as his youngest brother flanked his other side.

'… _No! No way in Shell…!'_

"Leo, it's nearly morning." Donnie pushed with gentle logic. "We have to get back or someone could see us!"

" _Please, bro. I'm scared!"_

That breathy whimper came from Mikey, his head nuzzling under his chin as he tried to squeeze the life out of him. This time Leo didn't throw him off but instead draped an arm loosely across his shoulders in a protective manner, gaze flitting between him and then Donnie who ducked his head and pressed in on his other side. Leo wrapped an arm around him too, drawing them ever closer, gaining strength from their radiating warmth and comfort.

"You two shouldn't have followed me." He couldn't help the slight admonishing tone, even if it held no real strength. "You shouldn't be out here!"

"Neither should you." His purple banded brother quipped with a soft sniffle, "We won't go without you."

"No, you don't understand!" Leo was ready to fight the point, "I failed him! I can't fail _you_ too! His signal's here! If you guys go home, I can stay behind and–!"

"If _you_ stay," Donnie muttered stubbornly, "Then _we_ stay!"

Leo glared at the top of Donnie's head, but the hatred was reserved for himself only. He needed to find their missing brother, but at the same time he needed to keep his younger brothers safe, and it was nearly morning. He couldn't help it as his breaths came ever faster. Was he hyperventilating?

'… _Don't make me choose…!'_

"I lost him on my watch!" He emphasised hoarsely. "It's _my_ fault, Donnie!"

"No!" Donnie jerked back and sneered in a very, non-Donnie-like way, "Raph made his own choices tonight; we all did! Yes, you're our leader, but every member of this team has to take responsibility when things go wrong. He disobeyed orders and ran off! We didn't drag him back in time! We're all to blame Leo, not just you!"

'… _If you have to make a hard choice…'_ Sea-blue eyes closed in mortification as those dreaded words came back to haunt him. _'…Don't you dare…think twice…'_

"He's really hurt Donnie." Leo breathed, he didn't want Mikey to hear this but he couldn't keep it to himself, "He can barely walk and–!"

'… _You pick them…!'_

"We're all scared!" Donnie cut across him. "But we can't stay here right now! We'll come back as soon as it's dark again, I'll scan the entire building. We'll figure this out." Chocolate bored into uncertain sea-blue. "He wouldn't want you out here."

'… _Always them…!'_

"Yeah, and if he could see you all sniffly like that he'd have 'flapped' ya by now!" Mikey interjected innocently, "Can I show you, Leo? Huh, huh! Can I?"

"Sure, why not." Leo shrugged his shoulders distractedly and quirked a weary eye ridge, curious as to what a–!

*FLAP!*

"YEOUCH!"

Mikey had smacked him up-side his head, jumped out of reach and crowed with laughter. "Oh, Oh, Oh! And then he'd say something tough like; _quit your whining knucklehead!_ "

Leo fumed at Mikey, ready to lash out, but as he glared he saw a heartbreaking truth. Underneath all that cheerful bravado, there was an underlining desperation as sharp as razorblades. It was a diversion. Mikey _wanted_ to be chased; he _wanted_ Leo to chase him like he would have done back at the lair. He _wanted_ Leo to chase him home because he was scared for him; was scared to lose another brother.

'… _I need you to promise me, Fearless…'_

And as he side–glanced Donnie, that same desperation lingered in his eyes as well.

'… _Promise me…'_

The choice was made; "MIKEY!"

'… _We'll be back, Raph….'_ It weighed heavy like a festering lump, but he couldn't risk the younger two, not during daytime hours. _'…I swear it…'_

Leo growled low as he leapt to his feet with playful fire in his eyes, noting with satisfaction how Mikey suddenly beamed. He chased down his orange-banded brother who raced towards the crumbling hole in the wall, sensed Donnie's presence bringing up the rear.

"MEET YOU BACK AT THE LAIR, D! AH! AH! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! WAIT! _LEO,_ WAIT! YOU FLIPPED ME FIRST, REMEMBER! WAIT! I'M _SSSOOOORRRRRRRRYYY!_ "

***TMNT*** **END CHAPTER TWO** ***TMNT***


	4. Chapter Three

*Waves to the readers!*

Hi everyone, firstly – I'm really super excited that my story hit over ten reviews – thanks guys – you know who you are!

And secondly – I really have to apologise for this being a week late! The summer hols are hectic and it's been chaotic to say the least lol.

And finally – Thankyou to everyone who is still taking time to read, follow and/or fav this fiction, but a massive shout out to Someonethe3rd, Raigon, Grungekitty and Starfire201 for taking time to review the last chapter – this happy authoress is running off to do chapter 4 now.

All warnings are explained before the prologue.

So now onto chapter three; Drama, Drama, Drama….

Disclaimer: I do not own TMNTS – nor the cover pic. I make no money – just practising my flare of the dramatic with my favourite characters.

So thanks for taking the time to read this, I hope you enjoy it. Please note that this is not beta-ed but I've done my best.

 **Collared Sai~yonara.**

Written By

Blazin Shadow.

***TMNT*** **CHAPTER THREE** ***TMNT***

Learning to keep opinions to oneself is the hardest thing to do. It is especially hard when stumbling across technology as fascinating as the Kraang's. It is even harder still when no one shares that explosive enthusiasm.

'… _But it is what it is…'_

A heavy sigh broke the silence permeating the main living quarters and thoughSlash quirked an eye-ridge at the sound, he said nothing as he surrendered his palms. Salve applied itself as though by magic, a reel of gauze hovering patiently to one side as it waited its turn. Floating objects were miraculous for sure, but to Rockwell it was merely child's play. He couldn't help but let his mind wander onto more prodigious things.

Like that Kraang tech. Yes, it was an idea borne with cruel intentions, but the delicate intricacies at work were light years ahead of him, ahead of their entire planet. After his brief encounter, Rockwell longed to examine it further, his trigger happy fingers twitching with the need. It was so much more than _just_ an electric collar. Underneath the unassuming surface, the cellular structure was unbelievably complex. Billions of charged, microscopic mechanisms interconnected like DNA strands albeit flowed like water. It protected itself as though it were a living entity fighting a war, concealed its secrets from prying eyes and combated foreign intrusions with ease. It was constantly changing, seductively elusive. Any scientist would be mad not to appreciate such a mysterious beauty.

'… _And that power…!'_

To the untrained eye electricity was its weapon of choice; but that's not what it was, not from this world anyway…. Or…Brows furrowed as Rockwell recalculated his assumptions based on his findings; maybe the collar had the ability to manipulate that raw power in ways he could only dream of. The possibilities boggled the mind, it made him giddy just thinking about it!

"So what's the verdict, Doc?"

Rockwell snapped from his reverie, drifting back to the present to focus on his charge. Slash sat before him on the tattered rug – no sofa could accommodate the enormous turtle but he didn't seem to mind. He was relaxed enough to be slouching at least.

'… _Like a sulky teen…'_ The stray thought made his lip quirk.

Slash had come a long way; they both had really. The people of New York were unkind to those that they did not approve of, were afraid of the unknown. It was a lesson that Rockwell had learned the hard way. Since transforming into a mutant primate, his life had become a lonely, arduous journey of the mind; overcoming primal instincts the mutagen triggered while evading those that would cause him harm. It took momentous effort on his part and was completely self-taught, but eventually he was able to segregate his own feelings from those of the people around him, was slowly able to control those violent urges and create an existence of sorts. There was no one to turn to as he hid in the dark, a pitiful soul lingering on the very edge of society; but he lived. Polished surfaces reflected nothing more than a skeletal, jittery freak that was scared of its own shadow; but he survived.

Then one night, he came across Slash.

The lumbering, mutated beast was a frightening sight to behold, an enormous creature that was all bulging muscles and protected by what appeared to be a spiked shell. As he watched its movements from the safety of a shadowy corner, Rockwell planned to turn around and leave well enough alone; but then the monstrous brute bellowed. No, his brain corrected itself, more like the whining of a child who had lost its mother. Rockwell remembered the overwhelming swell of pity that overrode any common sense, an instinctive need to help the poor soul. He approached with caution and handled the situation as though he was negotiating with terrorists; stared down those crazed, mutagen irises with empathy.

"Rockwell?" Slash called, a smirk lacing his gravelly voice. "You daydreaming or what?"

"…Hm…?" Eyelids fluttered as Rockwell shook his head, "More like reminiscing."

"Dangerous habit, that."

The gentle mirth dancing across the navy irises before him showcased their triumph; no longer were they tainted with the crazed, mutagen green. It had taken weeks of intensive, strenuous counselling on Rockwell's part to get Slash to this point, but it was still early days and they needed to be careful to avoid regressing. At this delicate stage anything from his past could become a trigger.

The past; that made Rockwell wince. Slash was hardly forthcoming with the details, but over the course of their counselling sessions Rockwell pieced together what he could. As a normal turtle he had been found by a young boy who took care of him, they had been almost inseparable for nine happy years; and then the mutagen struck. It changed Slash into a 'hideous freak', his choice of words, and the boy was forced to choose between his family and the mutated pet. Of course the boy had chosen his family…

'… _But still it hurts…'_ Rockwell had to school his features as the truth hit home. _'…To be abandoned by your one true friend, just like that, after so many years…'_

But they couldn't dwell on such things, not now. Once Slash had come into himself he was eager to prove his worth, had found them this place and worked night and day to ensure their safety and comfort. Then he gave himself purpose, and Rockwell was so stunned by the selfless turn of events that he chose to assist him. By rounding up whatever mutagen they could find, they did everything they could to minimise the tragedies plaguing New York. It was ongoing and tedious work, but every canister collected saved a soul from sharing their fate.

Along the way they had stumbled across two other mutated creatures and Slash had taken them under his wing without question. The turtle had ultimately stepped up, claimed responsibility for them all and Rockwell was proud to call him friend. Slash had, without a doubt, become the respected leader of their small group, their protector. Nothing happened without his say so. Speaking of which, where were Leatherhead and Pigeon Pete anyway…?

"Doc, don't leave me hanging!" Slash implored suddenly, fidgety on his knees, "Verdict!"

'… _Although sometimes, he still behaves like a child…'_

"Your hands will be fine, so long as you don't mess with the bandages." Rockwell assured, "I have yet to check your body."

" _Not me!_ " The childish, whiny pitch was most amusing coming from such an intimidating creature, " _Raphael!_ You did that thing, right? You were able to see? How bad is he? What can we do to help him–?"

"Slow down Slash, one question at a time, _please!_ Yes, I used my abilities to check his internal organs…" Rockwell paused, conflicted over the bizarre findings, "…None of which were damaged in the slightest. The–!" Rockwell could feel himself cringe at the awful terminology, " __fleshy areas!__ and the _ _nerves that make you feel pain!_ _ took the brunt of the attack, but it's nothing too severe and–!"

"Wait, what? But–!" Eye ridges knitted together as Slash shared his confusion, his tongue tripping over hasty words. "How's that possible? I felt it Rockwell! It was like, being torn apart, from the _inside–!_ You can't go through something like that without…without–!"

"From what I can gather…" Rockwell inhaled deeply. Keep it simple, now! "The collar is designed to hurt as much as possible, without damaging the ani–! I mean, _Raphael_ too much. Remember, we're dealing with advanced technology here, so our rules don't apply. The only way to find out more is if I study it further–!"

" _No!_ " Did Slash just snarl at him? "He's not some guinea pig for you to _experiment_ on!"

The sheer force behind those words drowned out all confusion in an instant, and Rockwell was shocked by the sudden, defensive ferocity emanating from his friend. Slash only demonstrated such fury when he squared off against an enemy, it was a quality Rockwell found to be both admirable and yet terrifying. To have it swung in his direction so abruptly set Rockwell on edge, but above all else it made him openly curious; just how did Slash know the red-banded turtle anyway…?

He would have to save that question for later. First he needed to placate his friend and finish checking him over – to see if Slash had taken on as little damage as what Raphael had. Then he would have to find a way to contact the other turtles and bring them up to speed. If only he had a number to call or knew where to find them. Raphael would surely have a way to contact them, but he was unconscious at the moment. He'd have to ask him in the morning and hopefully get him home to his–!

"… _!"_

What was that? The urgent whisper was so cotton-ball muffled that Rockwell thought he had imagined it. It came from beyond the ceiling, but…? There was no way that someone had found their secret hideout–!

"… _rrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaappppppppppppppphhhhhhhhhh…!"_

Fear warped his lungs like a cloth wrung dry; someone was screaming in the factory above them! _Humans_ had _found_ them! A whimper clawed at his throat, his inner animal desperate to hide, but Rockwell resisted those shameful urges with rationality. The cry didn't feel like an angry mob, or someone who would want to hurt them, in fact…Not only did the quiet, echoic tone sound vaguely familiar to Rockwell, but it was…calling for _Raphael?_ Was it possible that his family had tracked him down?

"… _rrrraaaapppph–!"_

He needed to check their crudely built surveillance system immediately. If it was indeed one of the turtles, as he suspected, then one problem would be solved at least and–!

"How'd they _ _ **FIND**_ _ us?!"

Rockwell flinched back, shrivelled up and figuratively died. The palpable fury rolling off of his friend's hulking frame. That _spark_ in his eye…It _can't_ be! What on earth had dredged up such a powerful reaction? The _turtles?_ But _why?_ Large digits snapped mere inches from Rockwell's face, jabbing sharply against his abused heart. Those questions he just mustered; forget them. They were long gone.

"The _T-Phone!_ " Fuming, navy irises locked onto him. "They're tracking his _blasted_ **T-Phone!** "

A blink later and Slash had abandoned the main living quarters, heavy footsteps thundering down the hallway. Rockwell followed automatically, but screeched to a stuttering halt at the doorway. He could only watch in a stunned stupor as Raphael struggled valiantly against the sedative that should have kept him under. The red-banded turtle was almost sitting upright, eyes wide but eerily vacant, unseeing as they gazed up at the ceiling; _glazed_ with _delirium_. Enormous hands wrapped around forest-green arms, almost smothering them completely. Raphael didn't even blink.

"Easy there, Raphael, _easy._ " Slash's whole persona had switched on a dime, it was unreal. "Quit fighting the meds and lay back down. C'mon now, there we go."

That strange lilt escaping his friend's mouth so easily, it shocked Rockwell to the core. The baritone was distinctly kinder, was nothing like his naturally gruff, accented voice; yet he pulled it off so spectacularly! It was almost as if – Rockwell gulped as the vivid image pierced its way to the forefront of his mind – he had wrenched out someone else's voice box and _squeezed!_ It made him cringe away.

'… _Keep it together, Rockwell…'_ He admonished himself harshly, _'…Slash is not a monster; he's your friend…'_

But something else clicked, overriding his logical brain. That voice, it–! It was an exact copy of the muffled one that had cried out from the factory just moments ago. Now that he thought about it, the original version had gone silent and Rockwell itched to examine the cctv; but then he stalled. He would never do anything to go against Slash, and his reaction to that voice alone was nothing short of terrifying. No; as much as he hated the idea, he knew to leave well enough alone. That dreaded _spark_ –!

A shudder wracked his frame. It was his worst nightmare; to wake up one morning and come face to face with crazed, mutagen green. Thankfully those eyes were still navy – were still _sane!_

Though that did little to ease his animalistic instincts as he watched the scene play out before him. Those primal urges screamed at him to _run!_ Rockwell slammed against them, fought back with calm, _humane_ , logic. The only reason Slash loomed over Raphael was because he was a large creature, that couldn't be helped. The long, jagged shadows that plastered high along the concrete walls were simply the result of the hallway light filtering in from the open doorway, a yellowish hue that skimmed around his friend's spiked shell to create the nightmarish illusion. Again, it couldn't be helped. If Rockwell had learned anything since his dreaded mutation, it was _NEVER_ to judge someone by their outer appearance.

But as Slash pressed the smaller turtle back down onto the bed, steel navy locked onto wavering emerald; those logical answers did very little to ease the frigid coldness that suddenly seeped into his bones. Soft words were traded between the two but it was completely lost on him. As a silent spectator, rooted in place, the whole scenario made him feel jittery and fearful; but it was absurd…

Slash was just helping another mutant in crisis, like he had done with himself, Leather head and Pigeon Pete. It wasn't the first time that Rockwell had seen Slash assert his authority in such a way, sometimes he was truly grateful for it. Leatherhead awaking from nightmares was a prime example, disturbing the peace with bloody violent outbursts, until Slash stepped in. And the bizarre reaction to the cry in the factory? Then mimicking said voice? Rockwell shoved away any doubt with force. He was certain that his friend had a very good explanation for that. It can all wait until later, when things had settled down. Everything else was just his overrun imagination gone wild; that disgusting, inner _animal_ trying to vie for control again…

'… _Exactly…Now get a hold of yourself, Rockwell. You're not an animal!...Trust in your friend…'_

***TMNT***

The purple banded genius brought up the rear as the trio of ninjas leapt from rooftop to rooftop, keeping up a strong vigil as the first signs of dawn splayed across the city. Mikey led the group, pulling faces and outright laughing, doing whatever he could to keep their leader distracted. Leo laughed in turn and made playful swipes at the youngest, who dodged them all with dramatic flair. Normally Donnie would have participated, but not this time. This time he was lucky to have risked a glance. This time; _he_ needed to be the _responsible_ one.

When running topside it was usually Leo who stalked the front lines, ready for anything, while Raph kept them rounded up. Between the two they were an unwavering line of defence against any enemy who dared to strike. Not that he and Mikey were weak, per say; but as the youngest two, it was comforting to know that they were safe between their two, eldest brothers. They could be free to act their age and never had to worry.

'… _But Raph isn't here now…'_ Something painful twisted deep inside, _'…and Leo desperately needs this breather….Seeing him like that–!'_

'… _Wait…!'_ Eyes made a frantic sweep. _'…Where's Mikey…?'_

He jarred to a terrifying halt, the contents of his stomach churning, only to see Leo dropping out of sight as well. Donnie raced to the rooftop ledge, a bundle of nerves as he leaned over. Mikey was already in the rubbish strewn alleyway, a familiar manhole cover in hand. He gave a gracious, over the top bow to Leo, who jumped into the sewers without a murmur of protest…?

Donnie's jaw hit the floor. It was all _wrong!_ Just so _wrong!_ The leader Donnie knew would never descend into the sewers without a: looking for onlookers and b: forcing his three younger brothers down before him. As he approached with heavy steps, anxiety nipping at his heels, Mikey handed over the manhole cover.

"Don't worry, D." A dazzling smile was flashed his way. "Raph will be back, and Leo will be fine. You'll see."

It didn't quite reach his baby blues, betraying his happy-go-lucky stance, and those words of encouragement did very little to reassure the genius. Mikey descended, and with a final quick sweep of the alley, Donnie followed suit. It was over for now, but it had been way too close.

Tension roiled in aching waves to emphasise the point, and Donnie released a shaky breath. In the relative safety of the sewers his shoulders slumped, the strain bleeding away. This one, simple run had answered a question he had been flippantly pondering for a while. He wasn't cut out to be the leader. If their enemies didn't slay him down, then the trauma of the job surely would. This discovery gave Donnie a new found respect for his blue-banded brother. The pressure that leadership must force upon him every day, it was _insane!_ No wonder why he'd–! Donnie gulped, his adams apple bobbing uncomfortably…

'… _Cracked…'_ A helpful little voice supplied _'…The word you're looking for, Donnie-boy, is cracked…'_

If anything ever happened to Leo, Donnie had concluded that Raph, being the second eldest, would take the reins. He had the capability – but he wasn't _here!_ That only left him and Mikey, and if he were brutally honest with himself, their efforts were weak at best. It was comparable to slapping a smiley-face band-aid over a knife wound and keeping their fingers crossed! He snorted at that mental image, knew better then to believe in such ridiculous, _childish_ , notions! Reality would set in its harsh claws just as soon as they set foot inside the lair, obliterating said band-aid to shreds. He only prayed that, when that happened, _Leo_ would be ready to take command again. Donnie knew he was smart, unquestionably so; but this was beyond him – _way_ beyond him! He couldn't fix this! He fixed appliances, _machines!_ …Okay…sometimes he took on the role of family Dr. as well, but only when necessary, and usually with a 'how to' guide balanced on his knees! But not this! _Not_ **THIS–!**

'… _But what _IF_ Leo can't take the responsibility anymore…?'_ His heart slammed with a resounding clang of finality. _'…What _IF_ we never find Raph…?'_

"Donnie?"

A hand rested on his shoulder and Donnie blinked rapidly in response. The sewers settled into place around him and he nearly choked. They were nearly home, quite literally round the corner! _When_ had he started _walking?_ Snap out of it Donnie, you need to _pay attention–!_

"You and Mikey…" Leo paused for a moment, almost timid. "I know what you guys are trying to do…you should never have had to–! I mean...What I wanted to say, is…" He rubbed the back of his neck as he blushed, was he embarrassed? "…Thanks."

Donnie found himself gulping at the words, Leo was _thanking_ him! Tears pricked the corners of his eyes, a moment of weakness he did _not_ want his brother to see. Leo had only just experienced his own personal breakdown; he didn't need to see this–!

"Donnie?"

'… _Stay strong…!'_

But he couldn't. Anguish splashed across his features, so he kept his face ducked, slightly turned away. The fear, the stress, the guilt and frustration combined – their _unknown_ future! It all decided to jump up and wave simultaneously, jabbing him with poker rods before scuttling away! Exhaustion played its part too, but that was a weak excuse and he knew it. His adams apple continuously bobbed as an ugly truth stared him down. He; _Hamato Donatello_ , could never _ever_ be relied upon! When things fell part, _he_ fell apart. One bad night a-and–!

"Donnie!"

Although gentle, that voice was now more persistent. He trembled from the sheer strength radiating from it. He couldn't speak, shaking his head from side to side instead.

'… _Quit acting like a baby and get a hold of yourself…!'_

"Look at me, Donnie. _Donatello!_ " Sea-blue captured him with a strong, fierce stare. "I'm sorry, Donnie! I'm _so_ sorry! You should never have had to–! To see me like that or–! Be made to take on–!" Donnie could feel the sudden shift – Leo, their _leader_ , was back! "I will be stronger! I _promise_ you! I will be stronger!"

"No." Donnie shook his head defiantly, reading between those lines with ease. "Don't you dare blame yourself, _Leo_. Don't you _dare!_ "

"You were – and I tried to – But I–!" Hands flailed; make sense you fool! "I don't know what to do! Raph is _missing_ , and you guys _need_ me, t-to fix it!" His soul caved under that penetrating gaze, the truth unwittingly flowing out of him like a poison. "But I c-can't! I'm no leader, Leo! I don't know what to do! I don't even k-know, where to start–!"

"_ _We__ need to fix this, Donnie!" Leo corrected firmly, overriding his mindless jabbering. " _We!_ And yes: you do!"

Arms smothered him in a bear hug, muttering how he was the leader, and Donnie melted into submission. Another body suddenly tackled his side, extra limbs wrapping around him and Leo both, tightening the hold. A minute whimper echoed, and Donnie mentally reeled. _Mikey!_ Oh Shell, _Mikey!_ Had he seen everything?! How bad was it that he had kept quiet for so long?

"…Need your smarts, bro…" Mikey mumbled into his side.

With his face pressed into the crook of Leo's neck and shoulder, compressed between orange and blue, Donnie calmed his inner panic, his brain ticking away as the minutes rolled. With every deep, mind settling breath, safe and secure as he was; clarity paved the way for genius. His mind had become abuzz with new activity, compartmentalising each and every stray thought that came into his vicinity. Leo was right; he _did_ know what to do. This was his area of expertise, after all.

Building schematics and/or blueprints, history of the building – any titbits of information he could scrape together. They needed to create a timeline of events and–!

"Laptop!" He pulled back, gasping as if he had been deprived of air. "I need to-! Laptop! Now!"

He wiggled his way free, and raced the last paces to the lair. Footsteps echoed in his wake, his brothers following him no doubt; but it was a vague thought that became lost amongst the technical mind-storm. His lab was in sight, his precious laptop within. They had wasted so much time already! Time they didn't _have–!_

"Donatello." All thoughts came to a blinding halt, as did he. "Do you have any idea what time it is?"

That voice was deceptively light, calm, and set him on edge immediately. Only one individual could do that to him, bring forth a strange combination of respect and fear. It meant only one thing. They were all in deep, deep trouble. Leo stopped beside him but Mikey barrelled passed, an explosive bundle of enthusiasm that flew across the lair to his target.

"SENSEI!"

Donnie found himself gulping for the fifteenth millionth time. Their sensei, their _father,_ stood proudly, hands resting atop his cane. He was an unbreakable pillar of strength, as unmoving as a statue. Disappointment coiled around his robe-clad form, almost tainting the very air itself. Even with Mikey invading his personal space, Master Splinter did not waver.

"Michelangelo, since you are so eager to talk. Do _you_ have any idea what time it is?"

"…Ummmm….Ah crud, I mean…Hehe, funny you should ask–!" Mikey rocked on the balls of his feet, ever the fidget, until Master Splinter gave him the stare that demanded compliance. "I dunno...ummmmm….Whatever time you say it is, Sensei!"

Master Splinter stroked his goatee thoughtfully. "Then it is time, my son, for you and your brothers to accompany me in the dojo, to share some herbal tea."

Donnie cringed; they didn't have _time_ for this!

"…I take it there are no objections…?" Garnet irises slid his way. It was as if their father could read his mind! "…And while we drink our tea, you boys can tell me which one of you made the prank call to the cheese phone..."

'… _Wait…'_ That caught his attention. '… _What prank call…?'_

"…and then my sons, we will discuss our rules, and the importance of them."

"But Sensei–!" Leo tried to reason.

"…Herbal tea–?!" Mikey whined.

"But I need to–!" Donnie tried.

"YAME!"

Their fathers' cane came down, demanding authority. It was a harsh sound the turtles had associated with order since, well forever; and without further protest, the three traipsed into line. Their father glared at each of them in turn, a lecture on the very tip of his tongue. Then he stalled, and Donnie could see the cogs grinding as his father mentally counted. He was waiting for it. One, Two, Three…?

"Where is Raphael?" Ears twitched as silence answered him. Garnet gleamed dangerously, "Where. Is. Your. Brother?"

The silence was deafening, pressed in from all sides. "Leonard–!"

" _Please,_ Sensei!" Donnie cut in earnestly, stopping any answer his eldest brother might have given, or the lecture that would surely follow. "Raph got separated from us, and we can't find him anywhere! I have to get to my laptop!"

His voice fluctuated in a way that would normally embarrass him, but at the moment it was the least of his problems. Someone had called the cheese phone. Someone had _called!_ His father had assumed it was a prank, but what if he was wrong? What if – and it was a big 'if', but – what if _Raph_ had called?

'… _Check the T-Phone program, doofus…!'_ Inner voices began an internal war. _'…I would if I could get to my laptop…!'_

Donnie was tick, tick, ticking! The T-Phone program was designed to record all phone calls, save messages, and basically keep a digital backup of all communications established through their private network. It collected the data wirelessly, _instantaneously_ , and stored it all on the hard-drive of his laptop. If Raph had been the one to call, then Donnie could scrutinise that recording till he cracked it like an egg. He knew the lecture that awaited him when they discovered the program, but Donatello didn't care, not when the reasons behind this 'big brother' act were proven solid. It could mean the safe return of their brother – of _Raph_.

But they hadn't been excused yet, at least he didn't think so anyway – damn his brain and its ability to drift! Either way he'd daren't face the wrath of his father. He'd already pushed his luck just by answering him back; but even so he was practically bouncing on the balls of his feet, fingers twitching at his sides. Every second was precious. He needed to get his hands on his–!

"Donatello." Donnie squirmed under the sudden scrutiny, "You are dismissed. Find out what you can."

Donatello barely managed to squeak out a 'Hai Sensei' as he tore across the room, but stumbled in the doorway and gave a swift little bow of respect to his father, before darting into lab. He didn't care if anyone followed him. A million thoughts vied for his immediate attention as his brain worked frantically. His Bo staff clattered to the floor instead of being propped against the wall, he almost toppled his chair as he collapsed into it; but none of that mattered as he dragged his laptop across the desk and booted it up. His free hand subconsciously reached for the debit card that was always stationed there – their father's card – from when he had been human. One foot bobbed to an invisible beat as he mindlessly tapped the plastic. It was comforting. Tap! Tap! Tap!

Windows from a previous session popped up as soon as he had entered his password, but Donnie deleted them post haste. Some small part of his brain berated him for it, for he would surely miss those later. But not now, _not now!_ Tap! Tap! Tap!

There's the program – Donnie scrolled and jabbed at it fervently. It couldn't load quickly enough, but as it did, Donnie was more grateful than ever before that he had taken the time to simplify the data. There were cute little icons for all of them, miniature chibi's if you will, and when a phone call has been made, or a message sent, well…

Tap! Tap! Tap!

The caller would materialise as a chibi, as did the receiver, and they would hug each other. A speech bubble would hover beside them with the type of interaction, the time said interaction took place, and a link to the recorded data. Like bulleted points, the hugging chibi's trailed down the screen in order. It was cute, functional and most important of all, quick. Even now he could see a chibi version of himself hugging a chibi Leo, then a chibi version of himself hugging a chibi Mikey just below that. That was when they searched the factory and he had stayed behind. Above them, Master Splinter was right. 11:09pm: A chibi Raph was clinging to a chibi Splinter. He was just about to press that link when a hand slammed his shoulder and a freckled cheek pressed against his own. Tap! Tap! Tap!

"Look how cute we are, D! The way little Raph is holding onto little Leo; that is _adorable!_ Can I have it – when Raph gets back, I'm gonna tease him something rotten!"

'… _Wait, what…!'_

Tap! Tap! Tap!

Mikey eagerly jabbed the screen, and Donnie would have had a hissy fit, but all threats died in his throat when he realised that his baby brother was telling the truth. A bit further down, the time glared up at him. 3.11am: A chibi Raph was clinging to a chibi Leo, mocking him. It wasn't a phone call, but a voice message. A voice message as opposed to a phone call because Leo's phone had died on him! All this time! They had been running around in circles trying to find him and he had been…?!

They had _missed_ his _CALL!_

That nervous energy sped up. Tap!Tap!Tap!

"Leo." Donnie nudged his brother, "Mikey get Leo."

'… _He left a frigging message…!'_

TapTapTapTapTapTapTapTapTapTapTapTapTapTapTapTapTapTapTapTapTapTapTapTap!

Digits trembled as his cursor hovered over the link. He couldn't control the bubbling anxiety, even the tap, tap, tapping of the debit card wasn't enough to calm him. Not this time.

'… _It was a cruel joke…!'_

TapTapTapTapTapTapTapTapTapTapTapTapTapTapTapTapTapTapTapTapTapTapTapTap!

"LEO!"

'… _Please! Let this be good news…!'_

"What is it, Donnie?"

Leo appeared on his other side, as silent and graceful as always, but Donnie couldn't speak. He shook his head, unable to say anything else. Just pressed the link and waited.

TapTapTapTapTapTapTapTapTapTapTapTapTapTapTapTapTapTapTapTapTapTapTapTap!

Leo and Mikey shared a concerned look behind his head, not realising that he could see their actions via the reflective monitor screen; but it didn't matter, not in comparison to–!

"… _Hey there, Fearless…_ _ **"**_

Those three little words captured their undivided attention. He didn't realise how much he had missed his big brother's rugged voice – he nearly whimpered with the relief it brought. The bobbing foot stalled, as did the incessant tapping.

"… _Heck…The one time I need ya…to pick up…I…I have ta…ta warn ya…and… I have ta fess up…._ _ **"**_

His voice was low, quiet and breathless; submissive even – so _unlike_ their fiery brother. Something was wrong, so dreadfully wrong! Was he even thinking clearly…?

"… _And then I need ya…ta do somethin' for me…_ _ **"**_

He could feel Leo and Mikey pressing minutely closer, but even that wasn't enough to drown out the cold suspicion.

" _...So, ah, I can't believe I'm gonna say this, but; watch out for Shredder…_ _ **"**_

"…Shredder...?" Mikey echoed faintly.

"Shredder!" Leo confirmed with a snarl.

"… _Now, I know what yer thinking…what a joke, right! Coming from…from me…but…Yer just gonna have ta trust me on this one…Stay well clear, ya hear me…!_ _ **"**_

Donnie shared a worried glance with his eldest sibling. How did he–? What the–?

"… _And…Okay…Now I know you hate us talking to…the humans an' all, but…well there's this kid…and, it's cool!...No need to worry…We take down some scum together…and…before the cops can round them up we sorta…well we…we split whatever cash is untraceable…and erm…he drops my share into the ATM for me…Choices were that or…pray the camera's don't pick up on the…on the walkin' freak show in a…bucket hat and trench coat…Figured you'd prefer it if…if I stuck to the shadows…_ _ **"**_

"Why do we even have rules?!" Leo hissed.

But Donnie was more concerned with his brother's wavering voice. It was becoming more and more slurred, words drifting further apart. Very few things could induce temporary speech impediment – none of them good.

"… _You didn't think…all the money we spent…was scavenged from the sewers, did ya Leo?…That's…good for a laugh!…Can't believe you guys…fell for that line…when I spun it…_ _ **"**_

"Un- _Frigging-_ Believable!" Leo muttered angrily, stepping back to pace the length of the lab. "Now he's mocking us?! We've been worried sick and he's–!" A hand gestured wildly. "That _selfish_ _jerk!_ "

"… _Truth is…I didn't…wanna burden ya…with somethin' else…_ _ **"**_

Leo stalled mid-rant.

"… _I didn't wanna…drag ya down to my level...Ya deal with so much and…we needed the money…It's not like I could…go out there and…get a nine-ta-five…y'know…I was handling it,…had it covered…_ _ **"**_

There was a long pause on the other end, a shuffling of what sounded like bed sheets, followed by a heavy sigh.

"… _But I…I kinda screwed up…so I had ta tell ya…It needs toppin' up…_ _ **"**_

It needs topping up? Donnie glanced down at the card in his hand, and a short stab of guilt plagued him. So much had been bought with this wondrous piece of plastic. Sometimes online, picking up the parcels from Murakami's, who was kind enough to take them in. Sometimes he'd give April a list of goods to bring back. He had been so focused on his never ending fix-it list, that when Raph had told him not to worry about the money he spent, he just let it slide.

"… _there's cash under my bed…in a knapsack… Take 'em…and follow those Dragons…You'll find my guy easy enough – heck!…He paints his face…rolls on skates, and will…take a swing at ya…if given half the chance…!_ _ **"**_

"Sounds like a fun guy." Mikey quipped, his weak laughter dying in his throat.

"… _Drop him the cash and card…follow him!…He…knows what to do…knows the drill…No faces…no names…no questions asked,…and before ya even think…about lecturin' me, Leo!…I don't need _you_ to tell me…Let me guess...It's not the ninja way…right…? Or the honou…rable…thing…?_ _ **"**_

Leo quietly stalked back.

"… _Bla…bla…bla…save yer breath…heard it all…before…Just letting ya know…It's hard to sit up…on that high horse…of yers…and get the job done…y'know…Yer an idealist…with a…squeaky clean…code of honour…and…I'm the realist…a survivor…You wanna…be the one…who tells Mikey that he…can't have his pizza?...Or the turtle that's…in real bad shape…with no med's…or supplies…?_ _ **"**_

A hand leant on the back rest of the swivel chair, tilting it ever so slightly.

"… _Didn't think so…Not…everything…can be scavenged…from the dump…I did what I had ta!…Lying…Thieving…Gettin' my hands dirty…_ _ **"**_

Heavy eyelids closed in utter mortification. How many times had Donnie begrudged fixing Raph up when he came back at stupid-o-clock with varying levels of injuries, dragging him away from important matters? He had just assumed that Raph was being Raph; reckless and downright idiotic. Never had he considered that there might be a reason for it!

"… _So…how'd ya…like me now, Fearless…? Huh!… Sounding like Mikey…eh, that goofball…_ _ **"**_

"Me?" Mikey piped up, seemingly surprised to have got a mention.

"… _Oh!...I almost forgot…about his letter!…It's…for Mikey…but ya can't…give it to Mikey…Just ah…Ask him…ask him about Plucky…_ _ **"**_

Donnie threw a curious look towards Mikey, who just smiled and said, "Leprechaun pen pal, bro."

'… _Say what now…?!'_ He must have heard his brother wrong, but Mikey's expression remained as serious as Mikey ever could be. _'…Like what the actual–?!'_

"… _You'll…get it…then…It's hidden where…the cash is…you'll find it…Fearless…and…_ _ **"**_

"… _Heck, 'Fearless!'…Suppose I should…try ta…explain that…as well…since I'm…fessing up…an' all…So, it was…neva an insult, okay!… I knew…ya were…sensitive…about it, but I…I couldn't stop!…It was the…only way…I could…tell ya…I mean…_ _ **"**_

Donnie subtly scrutinised his eldest brother's face through the reflective screen, but Leo betrayed nothing, a true poker face.

"… _Ya just are…okay!… Yer the Fearless leader!…Our family,…it relies on ya…we need ya, bro, really need ya!…Ya beat…yerself…so hard!…But ya have…no idea...just how great…YOU…are! …What would happen…ta the rest of us…if…if ya were ta…if anything were ta…ta happen ta ya!...Our family…it would fall apart,…and there…ain't…no fixing…that, bro! …I guess…what I'm tryin'…ta say…is that…is that..._ _ **"**_

"… _Yer the best…big brother…I could ever…ask for,…okay!...Laugh it up…space dork…But I'm…no good…with… feelings…or t-talkin'…it's just–!...We always…end up…fighting!…and Argh–!_ _ **"**_

A growl crackled through the recording, though it sounded more drunk than intimidating.

"… _I will…pound you,…if ya ever…EVER... repeat this…to anyone!…Ya hear me!…I will smack…the green…right…offa… ya…!_ _ **"**_

A soft thump emphasised his words.

"… _But…listen…before I-!…This is,…there's a reason…why…why I'm telling ya…these things…_ _ **"**_

Donnie held his breath. That dreaded suspicion reared its ugly head, clamped down with tenacity.

" _I…I have ta…stay away…for a bit…_ _ **"**_

Donnie froze.

"… _I couldn't…leave ya…hanging!…Rather…deal…than see…you guys…without…_ _ **"**_

The world almost tilted as a whistling noise mutilated his eardrums.

"… _Doncha…dare go…trippin'…on that guilt of yers,…with yer…two left feet!…Doncha dare…worry…or…or come…lookin'!…Ya make…that hard…choice…with no…regrets…like…like we…talked about…_ _ **"**_

Donnie didn't understand the cryptic statement; what hard choice? To his left Leo sucked in a harsh breath, bearing down, the swivel chair creaking under the added pressure. A frustrated 'no' escaped his blue-banded brother, but it was drowned out by the ongoing recording.

"… _I need ya ta…promise me…Fearless!… Promise me….Watch out…for…Shredder…an'…an' keep …yerselves…safe…Ya hear me…bro,…Leo...?_ _ **"**_

"No,no,no,no,no,no!" Leo pulled back once again, snatching up Mikey's T-Phone.

"… _So long,…Fearless…_ _ **"**_

Donnie could hear his brother's anxious movements, fumbling with the T-Phone. Donnie stayed put, transfixed to the laptop. Raph sounded like he had finished talking, yet the line indicating the length of the recording was only half way through. It wouldn't hurt to leave it running.

"Raph!" Leo boomed, the sound lancing through Donnie's shell-shocked frame. "Where _ARE_ you–?"

"Name's Raph." His pre-recorded message answered back, mocking them all. "If you're listening to this, means I'm busting heads, or pounding Mikey! So say your piece and I'll try to fit you in."

"Pick up your phone, Raph!" Leo demanded as soon as the phone beeped. "You pick up right now! You don't get to do that! Do you hear me, Raphael! You don't get to _say_ things like that a-and–!"

"Chill-Lax, Leo!" Mikey interjected. "Raph's just messing with us! Here; let me…"

"Yo, Raph!" Mikey's voice was chipper to the point where Donnie inwardly cringed. "Pick up man, cause I dunno if you know this, but you kinda left a message on Leo's T-Phone and everyone's going crazy! It kinda sounded like you were leaving us, but you'd never do that! So if you could, oh, I don't know, maybe pick up and prove me right! Then they can stop worrying so much...!"

Donnie spun his chair around so he could watch his brothers. Leo was braced against the table with his head bent low. Mikey was a jittery blob beside him, almost shaking, his voice taking on a panicky edge as he rambled down the T-Phone.

"C'mon Raph, this isn't funny anymore. You need to pick up right now...I'll keep talking till you do…I'll sing the Chris Bradford song...I'll go in your room…I'll mess up all your Modern Ninja magazines and break your drums…I'll show Master Splinter that really secret stash you don't want him to see…You know, the one with all the ladies...?"

His heart ached as his youngest brother's façade cracked at a painstakingly slow pace. As if sensing eyes on him, fearful baby blues glanced his way, then flittered to Leo and then Master Splinter, who was quietly observing them from the doorway. Had he been there this entire time?

"…Raphie...?" Mikey's lower lip wobbled, as did his voice. "You got 'em real good, Raphie! They're looking at me real worried now. So c'mon bro, joke's over! Time to come home, okay! Just…Just c'mon home…!"

The T-Phone fell through nimble fingers and clattered on the table, his shattered illusion tumbling with it. Mikey nearly bowled over Leo as he sobbed hysterically, seeking comfort from his eldest brother. Leo complied, tugging Mikey as close as possible, rubbing soothing circles on his carapace. Sea-blue sought out Donnie even as Mikey whimpered for 'Raphie'.

"It's alright, little brother." Leo mollified, though his irises told a very different story. "We'll find him. I promise you we'll find him."

Master Splinter stepped up with one of the boxes of abandoned pizza balanced in the palm of one hand, while the other caught Mikey at the elbow, gently tugging. His cane was tucked under one arm.

"Why don't we take this and get you settled in bed." Their father coaxed. "Come, my son."

He guided an awkwardly shuffling, complying, _downtrodden_ Mikey to the doorway; then paused for a moment.

"Boys, eat." Master Splinter instructed. "Finish what you must, but then I insist you get some rest. We must be prepared for tonight."

"Once I have seen to your brother, I will attempt to make a connection with Raphael." Ears pressed down mournfully, and Donnie felt his anguish. "Only interrupt me, if there is an emergency."

'… _Sensei's just wasting his time…'_ The dejected thought came unbidden, sarcastically. _'…He'd have more chance connecting with a slab of meat…!'_

Out of the four of them, Raph found it the most difficult to separate himself from the _real world_. To make a connection as their father suggested meant that both parties had to be willing participants. Both had to reach out in the spirit realm. It was a hopeless endeavour; but Donnie would not voice those depressing thoughts.

"Hai Sensei." He intoned in sync with Leo, getting out of his swivel chair to bow respectfully.

As the door shut behind Master Splinter and Mikey, they simultaneously slouched, the exhaustion grinding them into the ground. Donnie slumped back into his chair, swivelling to the laptop as Leo sat upon the desk with a pizza box perched on his knee guards. Donnie didn't even have the energy to reprimand his brother for violating his workspace. Leo lifted up a slice of stone-cold pepperoni goodness, but Donnie declined the offering with a careless wave of his hand, eyes firmly glued to the laptop. He couldn't stomach much, anyway. Leo shrugged and took a bite himself, chewing as though it were made of cardboard. A dark, stifling quiet descended over the pair.

"How're you holding up?" Leo mumbled softly, breaking its hold over them, and Donnie raised an eye ridge.

"About as well as you, I imagine." He quipped as he clacked away at the keyboard.

A sigh rocked Leo's sagging frame.

"It hasn't even been 24 hours, Donnie." Sea-blue held a faraway look. "…and look at us…"

Silence threatened to engulf them once more, but Donnie's shoulders tightened defiantly. He refused to feel helpless again.

'… _Feeling sorry for ourselves is not an option…!'_

"Get your head in the game, Leo. We need to follow Sensei's instructions and be prepared! I need to see what blueprints are on record. Old newspaper articles may prove useful. We need to sync our T-Phone locations to the calls and messages, scrutinise those calls and messages. Start that timeline – pin everything on the wall."

Fingers flew over the keys as his mind ran rampant, speaking out loud for Leo's benefit only.

"We need to discover who we're up against! After the incident at the docks, I would've placed my money on Slash, but in his voice message Raph said – 'watch out of Shredder.' – What does that even mean?! We have to follow the trail, join the dots, and _find_ our enemy! Once we know who we're dealing with, you can lead us to Raph." He absently handed Leo a notepad and pen. "Write down anything you can remember, any small detail could be important. We can't afford to overlook a thing."

"So you…" Leo's lilt belied his fear, "…don't think he's leaving us, then?"

"No." Donnie shook his head vehemently. There was something else at play; there had to be! "No I don't."

Leo opened his mouth again, but a barely audible noise rumbled through the lab, interrupting him. Digits stalled mid-tap when Donnie realised what it was; the recording? It was still playing! With his screen covered with various windows, the recording got lost beneath them, and Donnie had completely forgotten about it. Another sound echoed; well it had their attention now!

"… _rrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaappppppppppppppphhhhhhhhhh…!_ _ **"**_

Then a slightly louder, gruffer baritone responded.

"… _Fearless…!_ _ **"**_

"That's me!" Leo whispered, a hopeful flicker brightening his exhausted features. "And Raph, he–! He heard me! Donnie he _heard_ me!"

"… _rrrraaaapppph–!_ _ **"**_

"… _Hang on,…bro…_ _ **"**_ Raph grumbled through the recording, _**"**_ _…I'm coming…Just…Just hang on…_ _ **"**_

A miniscule smile tugged at the corner of the genius's mouth, relief washing over him, until another sound carried through the recording. It almost sounded like, stomping…? It grew steadily louder.

" _Easy there, Raphael, easy._ _ **"**_ Donnie's smile dropped. What the–? _**"**_ _Quit fighting the meds and lay back down. C'mon now, there we go._ _ **"**_

'… _It's…Leo…?'_ The stress had surely fried his brain beyond repair, was the only logical explanation Donnie could conceive, but: _'…That was Leo's voice…!'_

 _Leo_ was talking to Raph through the recording; but no, that can't be! It can't be Leo! _Leo_ was sitting on his desk! _Leo_ had been out all night searching for Raph! _Leo_ was fuming! If looks could kill…

"… _Fearless…? But…ya were just…screamin'…?_ _ **"**_

" _It's all in your head._ _ **"**_ The imposter quickly reassured.

"… _No…just heard ya…ya need me…_ _ **"**_ Raph's tone was openly baffled, like a child's. _ **"**_ _…But yer…here?...Wha…?_ _ **"**_

" _It's all in your head, brother._ _ **"**_ Fake Leo stated, low and hushed. _**"**_ _Listen, I need your T-Phone. Is it hidden in your belt. Lemme just–!_ _ **"**_

There was a rustling of bed sheets, the creaking of a mattress spring.

"… _Ya were…screamin'…_ _ **"**_ Raph insisted, dazed but still as stubborn as ever. _ **"**_ _…Ya were…_ _ **"**_

" _You really don't remember,_ _do you?_ _ **"**_

A tense minute dragged out; nothing but a few background noises, and then.

" _We were ambushed. You got hit from behind. I screamed your name, tried to warn you._ _ **"**_ The imposter explained. _**"**_ _They're tracking our T-Phones; that's how they got the drop on us! Where's yours Raphael? Where's your T-Phone?_ _ **"**_

"… _My…T-Phone…?_ _ **"**_ Their brother's befuddled state was unquestionable. _**"**_ _…I'm going… shell crazy bro...erm…think…I…tried ta…ta call ya–!_ _ **"**_

" _You did what!_ _ **"**_

"… _can't…'member…why…_ _ **"**_ Raph murmured, slurred and barely audible between ragged breaths. _**"**_ _…Where's D-Donnie!…M-Mikey–!_ _ **"**_

" _They're fine!_ _ **"**_ The fake Leo snarled. _ **"**_ _But look! You don't wanna risk the safety of our family, do you? Where is it, Raphael? Give it to me!_ _ **"**_

"… _My…T-Phone…?_ _ **"**_

" _Yes! The others have been smashed, yours is the last one!_ _ **"**_ A menacing growl rumbled over the recording. _**"**_ _Where is it?!_ _ **"**_

 _ **"**_ … _Yer…such a…a…technophobe…Fearless…_ _ **"**_ Their red-banded brother laughed, quiet and raspy, but clearly amused. _**"**_ _…Ya…can't just…smash 'em…ya have ta…_ _ **"**_ Oh, Shell no! _**"**_ _…T-Phone…self destruct–!_ _ **"**_

A horrible sound crackled from the recording, then cut out completely. Though that was the least of their worries when–!

*Pop!* _*Pop!*_ ***POP!***

"OW!"

Donnie wrenched his T-Phone from the underside of his belt, dropping the smoking tech as it scorched his fingers. Leo cursed, jumping off the desk as two other devices clattered nearby.

"That was our only way of keeping track of them!" Leo exclaimed ferociously, "If he moves Raph now we'll lose him!"

Hands slammed with a resounding clang, jolting the laptop, and Donnie waited patiently as shoulders heaved with frame-quaking breaths. As the tension curdled, the genius's mind raced a mile a minute. The disturbing conversation rang like a bell, replaying that first sentence over and over until something more troubling registered; _quit fighting the meds_!

So they were drugging him, then. Calculating chocolate gleamed through narrowed eyes as pieces flew into place. Sedatives most likely, trying to and keep their prisoner unconscious. Donnie smirked. Raph never went down without a fight, would remain defiant to the bitter end. The few times where it had been necessary to use a sedative, Donnie had to be extra careful to up the dosage as much as possible, without overdosing, and it was still a challenge to this day. That's how he discovered their more interesting side effects. Sedatives had the capability to lower ones guard and induce delirium if the patient was able to stay awake. Not that it helped them any, but it was a useful fact. The enemy had underestimated their captives' tolerance to the drug.

That would tie in with Raph's slurred speech, his painfully honest voice message. It would also explain how Raph was unable to recognise the imposter for what he was. Even though Raph remained conscious; he was vulnerable, completely out of touch with reality, and in the hands of an enemy who wouldn't hesitate to swing below the belt – morals be damned!

But which enemy?

That was something else that troubled Donnie deeply. Who had the ability to mimic Leo's voice to the point where it was a perfect replica? No one that Donnie could recall. Who would even want to? It was just stalker-level bizarre?! And then to just let him walk unscathed…?

No; that threw his theory of Shredder being the perpetrator right out the window. Even though Raph warned them about him, it just didn't fit. If Shredder had been given the chance to take down more than one turtle; you'd better believe he'd do it. Shredder wasn't picky when it came to his victims, the more the merrier.

So that left Slash, but he didn't quite fit either. Yes he would want Raph and Raph alone, but he was a giant brute with very little intellect, preferring to use his fists over any form of smarts. He didn't have the mental capacity to–!

"Don't be fooled, Donnie." Leo interrupted, almost as if he had read his mind. He glanced downwards, a dark glimmer twinkling eerily. "You were talking to yourself."

'… _Oh…'_

"After Spike got mutated, Mikey would jump if he heard my voice but couldn't see me." Leo chuckled, but it was tainted with something Donnie couldn't identify, "At first I thought he was just jittery because of what happened, but then I noticed that it never happened with you or Raph; just me. So I cornered him – made him talk."

"…And…?"

'… _Where's Leo going with this…?'_

"Three guesses how Slash lured him away from the two of you."

Leo deadpanned him, glaring at his laptop. That look was dangerously calm, and chocolate-brown widened as he caught on. He used Leo's voice!

"But!" Donnie gaped, fear solidifying his gut to a rock. "Why didn't he ever say anything?!"

"Embarrassment?" Leo cocked his head in contemplation, "It doesn't matter. What's important is that we know exactly who we're dealing with and we know where they are. We need to go, now!"

Leo's will was strong, was already out the door and running through the sewers; but his body was lacking. Even if it was safe to go, Donnie didn't think he'd have the energy to trek the length of the city again. Donnie didn't think Leo could make it to his own bed without passing out. He shut down his laptop and stood on his own wobbly legs.

" _We_ need to get some rest." Donnie countered softly, approaching his brother who shook his head vehemently, "Slash can't move him any more than we can get to them. It's _daytime_ , Leo!"

Leo denied him, taking a step back. Donnie held in an exasperated huff.

"Just a few hours." Donnie tried again, "Then we'll eat, gear up, and trek the journey through the sewers and wait till dusk – as a team!"

But Leo didn't look convinced, so Donnie rambled on.

"I've been thinking about the schematics of the building. The factory needed workers at some point, right? Well workers need facilities. Plumbed water; toilets…!"

"…Which means there must be a sewerage system leading up to it. We can scope the layout without being seen!" Leo concluded triumphantly, "Donnie, you're a genius!"

"I know, Leo." Donnie murmured as a hand hooked at Leo's elbow and guided him towards his bedroom. "I know. Now c'mon, bro. Time for that nap."

The two ambled like drunkards towards their rooms. Neither looked towards the turnstiles, and neither questioned the many fears that haunted them both.

***TMNT***

"You really are a stubborn fool." A quirk played at the corner of a jagged beak. "Just give in to it Raphael. You need to sleep."

In the gloom of the bare, concrete bedroom, Slash remained ever vigilant. With no windows to look through and no clocks to check, there was no real way to tell the time; not that he cared. After managing to convince Rockwell to sleep, Leatherhead and Pigeon Pete had returned from their latest mutagen run. Both were stunned by the new visitor, but both retired with minimal fuss, leaving Slash alone with their guest. That was how he liked it.

Legs cramped from their squatted position beside the metal bed-frame, numbed throughout. Thirst and hunger urged him to make a quick trip to the kitchenette, but they were mild irritants, ones he tossed aside with minimal effort. No matter how much his throat tried to close up or his stomach growled in protest, he outright refused to move from his post. Shredder of all people, had given him this backhanded miracle, and he treasured it. That sadist was playing a cruel joke, some overly complex, twisted game; but Slash didn't care about that either. The only thing that bothered him was the eerie collar that continuously pulsated crimson. Slash wasn't stupid; he knew what it symbolised. _Owned! Pet! Slave!_ As a daring finger brushed along the glass-like surface, those disturbing thoughts refused to abate. What if Shredder tried to snatch _him_ back?! A growl rumbled deep in his throat.

'… _He won't get the chance…!'_

Quiet mewling floated up, snapping him from his reverie. Though nothing more than a whispered exhalation, it rang loud in the silent chamber, capturing Slash's undivided attention.

"…Shhh…" The enormous turtle leaned closer. "…Why do this to yourself…?"

The damp, ragged cloth trailed down the side of a flushed cheek, curving under the jaw bone. The red-banded turtle fidgeted, leaning into the soothing rag, babbling under his breath.

"…Look at you…" Slash couldn't help but voice his wonder. "…Still fighting, even in sleep…"

"…Spike…?" A crack of emerald pierced through the darkness, tried to focus. "…Spike _please_ …"

Slash started at the pet name, reeling back on his hunches. Normally that name would have infuriated him, but Raphael spoke it with such tenderness that Slash didn't have the heart to reprimand him. It tugged at something deep within him; something he had thought was long dead and buried. It reminded him of the mutated, giant-little turtle who had saved him from a miserable fate. Nothing had ever come between the two of them; until he mutated. He'd only been trying to give Raphael what he _dreamed_ of! What he _longed_ for! What. He. _Deserved!_ They were supposed to take on the world together!

But those explanations did nothing to change the outcome. That one night shattered his whole world!

Slash shook away the hurt, the regret. He swallowed against a painful lump and fought against the prickle that stung his eye ducts. None of that mattered now, not now! He clung to his miracle with frightening desperation. Deep down, Raphael still cared about him, pined for the freedom that Slash had offered that night; he knew it to be true! And Raphael…? He just needed time to see that.

Blinking hard, Slash stared down at his self appointed charge. Emerald no longer gazed up, hidden beyond heavy lids. Sleep was slowly winning the war, dragging him under inch by inch; but Raphael still struggled, muttering frantically under his breath. Words were rushed, low and desperate, indistinguishable; so his head bent lower to hear. He was so close he could feel every exhalation, warm puffs of air heating the side of his face.

"…I have ta warn them, have ta warn them, can't let this happen to them, they have ta stay away, Shredder, watch out for, watch out for Shredder, Spike, help me tell them, where are they, I have to help them, warn them, I have to warn them–!" Raph pleaded, the words cascading, overlapping in their urgency. "–Help me Spike, don't wanna, don't wanna hurt them, can't hurt 'em, can't hurt 'em, can't hurt 'em, have ta stop this, have ta do something, anything–!"

Then Slash felt his jaw drop, utterly astounded, as Raphael…began to rise?! It was slow, agonisingly so, and Slash sighed wearily; he wasn't going anywhere. Large digit's spread over his patient's plastron, the carapace barely an inch from the bed, and pushed him back down with ease.

"Stay down, Raphael."

"No,no,no,no,no." Raphael protested as his body flopped back uselessly, "Where are they, have ta find them, have ta find them!"

"Fearless was screamin', have ta find him, but he's here, have ta help him, where's Donnie and Mikey, have ta help them, have ta find them, have ta help them, where are they, watch out for Shredder, lemme up Spike, lemme up Fearless, please I have ta do something, lemme up, _lemme up!_ "

Raphael was slowly descending into madness, his body weakly twitching on the bed, the mutterings becoming ever more rapid and unintelligible with each passing second. A part of Slash blamed Rockwell for this. The meds were supposed the keep him unconscious, and even though the IV bag was nearly empty, it had done nothing but cause chaos! If Raphael didn't calm down soon, he could seriously hurt himself. But what could Slash do about that? As a pet, he'd never comforted someone before. Raphael would be the one to utter reassurances. What would he say…? And then it clicked.

"Hey there little guy, I got you." Slash patted Raphael's head with a finger pad, just like he did it. "Old Slash won't let anything happen to you. Okay Raphael. Nothing's gonna happen to you."

It didn't work; didn't calm Raphael like it would've calmed Slash. The red-banded turtle stilled for a moment, eye ridges furrowed in confusion, before the ramblings picked up again, weakly tossing his head from side to side. Why wasn't it working?! This puzzle made Slash think harder; what _would_ Raphael react to? Though he hated to admit it, the answer came swiftly, was downright obvious, and made him seethe. His family had leashed him good and proper, _they_ were the key. Even the sound of their voices affected him; made him step in line.

"It's alright, brother." Slash soothed with a new lilt, irritated when the tension drained from Raphael instantly. "I'm right here, I know. Just take it easy, Raphael. I got you. Sleep now. Everything's ok."

"…Mikey…?" Though his eyes were still firmly shut, and it took a momentous toll on his body, Raphael turned as if looking for the orange-banded turtle. "Did…? Did you have another nightmare…? Do you need me to, to chase the monsters away…? Slash won't touch you again, I promised you, bro. I won't let him…"

"…Wha…?"

'… _They made him believe I'm the monster…?!'_

"Oh yeah!" Slash was stunned, outraged; though kept up the act. "That's why I'm here, I'm having trouble sleeping. You look like you're having trouble sleeping too."

"Doncha worry about me, Mikey…" Raphael's hand trembled, as if wanting to reach out. "Take my hand, bro. Nothing bad is gonna happen to you. Sleep here, okay. Just don't tell the others."

"Wouldn't wanna ruin your rep?" Fake Mikey took a guess, letting a finger settle in Raphael's palm. Forest-green digits flexed over it.

"…You got it…bro..."

Within minutes, Raphael was snoring soundly, mouth slightly agape as he drooled into the pillow; finally! Slash kept up his vigil, his mind running rampant with rage. Those leeches had turned Raphael against him, just like that! Nine years of friendship down the sewer pipe, no pun intended, because the baby was scared and Raphael felt compelled to protect him. However, Raphael said he would keep him safe from the monsters, Slash included in that headcount. That was something he could use, should the red-banded turtle need persuading. Raphael needed to be freed, un-tethered from the dead weight that chained him down. Slash glowered with grim determination, eyes sparking in the dark as they glimpsed the scorched T-Phone trapped in his giant fist.

"I promise you, brother. You will be free. I promise you."

***TMNT*** **END CHAPTER THREE** ***TMNT***

And forty thousand words later and I've completed one night! Forty thousand words Lol!

Till next time readers.


	5. Chapter Four

**WARNING – PLEASE READ THIS!**

One of my warnings has changed to accommodate the progression of this story – so if you're sensitive to anything at all, please check the beginning of the prologue or scroll down to the very bottom before reading this chapter. (it will be underneath END CHAPTER FOUR). If you feel my rating should be upped to 'M', please let me know ASAP. For everyone else – please carry on – I hope you enjoy it.

 **END WARNING – THANK YOU FOR TAKING THE TIME TO READ IT!**

Thank you to everyone who is reading, following and/or had fav'ed this fiction, but a massive shout out to LittleOldWriter12, Veail, Raphaelfangirl4real, Raigon, Grungekitty and Starfire201 for taking time to review the last chapter – your wonderful comments really helped me to plough through his one. I've been on this night and day for four weeks, and really struggled with it – so thank you so much. I hope it was worth the wait.

All warnings are explained before the prologue, and there's an extra one underneath this chapter.

So now onto chapter four; I'll let you guys decide on this one…

Disclaimer: I do not own TMNTS – nor the cover pic. I make no money – just practising my flare of the dramatic with my favourite characters.

So thanks for taking the time to read this, I hope you enjoy it. Please note that this is not beta-ed but I've done my best.

 **Collared Sai~yonara.**

Written By

Blazin Shadow.

***TMNT*** **CHAPTER FOUR** ***TMNT***

"… _Hajime..."_

 _The devil hissed at him, swallowed him whole. Icy waves surrounded him, smothering him. Sparks flew even as he flailed._

"… _Hamato, Raphael…"_

 _Salty water forced its way down, filling scorched lungs as a scream was wrenched from him._

"… _I order you to find your brothers…"_

 _Lights danced to the frothy beat; beautiful, celebrating, torturous!_

"… _Find them..."_

 _The world throbbed, his peripheral pulsed. Silvery blobs bumped him on their rise to the surface, paving the way for something else entirely._

"… _Look them in the eye…"_

 _Familiar arms, embracing him; a freckled cheek pressed against his own. Arms hung uselessly as he suddenly stood in the lair, wrapped in warmth; utterly mind-boggled. Solace kissed the corner of his mouth, washing away all concerns as twinkling sea blue and serene chocolate brown caught his gaze from across the way._

"… _And…"_

 _His eyes glazed white, the world tilting on its damning axis. Invisible talons squeezed at his jugular, bleeding all emotions dry. Numbed and detached, with Sai in hand. His aim was deadly, right between the shoulder blades. Baby blues morphed from joy to full-blown panic. Screaming pierced his ear drums. But it was far too late. He caught that squirming body, stripped it of blood speckled orange. Then he dropped it like a sack of potatoes._

"… _Kill…"_

 _A Bo staff tried clocking him from behind, but he caught that weapon with practised ease, tripped his assailant and snapped it clean in two. Warped drumsticks thwacked against bone. Da-Dum. Da-Dum. Da-Dum._ _ **CRACK.**_ _No longer was it moving. No longer was it whining. The gore it leaked wormed its way between restless toes, the only sensation he felt as he gazed upon its shattered shell. The purple strip was claimed. Bloodied footprints were left in his wake._

"… _Them…"_

 _As he stalked ever closer, the last one fell back. For some reason it was pleading with him, begging him to stop while on the defensive; never the aggressor. Odd behaviour coming from a target, but he didn't give it much thought. One twist of his Sai put a stop to that. Locking down flooded sea-blue, he rammed the stolen Katana home. Steel shattered the plastron, embedded to the hilt. The third had fallen, its lifeless skull hitting the floor after he peeled away the blue strip. The final piece._

"… _Bring…Me…Proof…!"_

 _Three coloured bands were knotted to his bicep; Orange, Purple and Blue. Three broken bodies lay bare at his feet._

'… _Yame…!'_

 _It was done; and with a thundering clap, the lair collapsed around him._

 _Throbbing! Plunged! Submerged once more! He couldn't breathe! Talons released that mind numbing grip – and the aftermath pummelled him raw._

 _No!_ No! _ **NO!**_

 _Emerald became wild with unadulterated horror;_

MIKEY!

 _Electricity singed every exposed contour;_

 _DONNIE!_

 _Lungs screeched as if he had set them aflame, but it was nothing! NOTHING;_

 **LEO!**

 _The icy depths had him bound, was dragging him down, but…Flashes of his brothers haunted him, like circling vultures, out of reach but forever taunting! Emerald was transfixed, glued, almost hypnotised as they swirled overhead._

 _Again and again and again and-!_

 _A cackle reverberated maliciously; his innermost demon was revelling in this. He could almost hear it clapping with glee as Shredder's disembodied face hovered over him. Larger than life itself, eyes of steel loomed ever closer, inky pools that burrowed deep within his soul. Even if he wanted to, he couldn't turn away. There was no escaping that order, the destruction it wrought. Fingers dug into his scalp, emphasising the point, tightening the vice; but the looming face no longer belonged to the Shredder. It transformed before his very eyes, almost melting away and re-forming to create a new terror._

 _Slash glared down, dark and triumphant; a terrible joke shimmering from mutagen green._

" _Don't fight this." An enormous hand reached out for him. "You don't need them."_

 _He was unable to resist._

" _Just._ Like. _You._ Said! _"_

" _NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"_

Raph catapulted, a wrangled gasp clawing at his throat; then something forced him to collapse back down. Knackered springs creaked under the sudden abuse, but shallow pants reigned supreme until his hummingbird heart slowed to a more natural pace, mind descending from that frightening high. Nightmares eluded his grasp until all that remained was a worrying cocktail of fear and guilt. Wait! Why guilt?

'… _What the Shell happened…?!'_

As senses tuned in one by one, pulses of panic jabbed at his drained soul. The lumpy mattress he laid upon wasn't his own, and the lab didn't have one. The cheap metal frame it sat upon was pressed against an unpainted, concrete wall. There was no antiseptic smell or the stench of bleach stinging his nose, there wasn't even the faint whiff of the sewers, or Mikey's terrible cooking for that matter. In their stead was stale air combined with a strange, gone off smell. It wasn't overpowering, or overly disgusting; but it was foreign to him. That narrowed it down somewhat, but what the Shell? He wasn't in the _lab!_ He wasn't in the _lair!_

'… _But then…'_ Emerald squinted in the dark. _'…Where am I…?'_

As he took another deep sniff, trying to decipher the unusual scent, it suddenly registered that something was pressing down, restricting his breathing. As soon as he saw why, eye ridges flew skywards. A bandaged hand was spread almost casually across him, covering the entirety of his plastron. Pupils followed the bulging curve of muscle until they reached the very edge of the mattress, where the top of a spiked head greeted him. A snuffling snore suddenly swallowed the silence, and Raph couldn't help but hold his breath. Digits twitched. He couldn't believe it...

'… _S-Spike…!'_

'… _No! Spike's gone...!'_ Another thought cut across harshly. _'…Get out of there, Raph! Get out, now…!'_

Dammit Fearless! Raph resented the arrogant 'leader tone' his older brother sometimes adopted, and it infuriated him to no end when the critical part of his brain mimicked said tone to give him a lecture inside his own head. But this time it woke him up and slapped some sense into him, forced him to analyse his current predicament. He was in an unknown location with the mutated version of his beloved pet, the monster that had turned on his family. He held onto that boiling rage. 'Leader Leo' was right. Forget everything else! He had to escape while he still had the chance!

***TMNT***

Master Splinter found a special kind of peace as he sat on the edge of the bed. It had been a challenge to meander through his youngest sons' bedroom, but said reward far outweighed the clutter surrounding them. A gnarled hand ran lovingly over his son's freckled head, slow and soothing, bringing comfort to them both. As a father of four, he had seen his sons grow and flourish, all four becoming strong and independent, as it should be. He couldn't be prouder of them, but it also meant that times like these were rare; precious. They no longer needed their father to hold their hands.

"Do you remember that time…" a soft voice drifted up, "...when we all got the flu?"

His hand paused. Out of all of his children, Michelangelo had the most…unique way of thinking – and a sharp mind. As a child, he would use those gifts to run figurative rings around him, to sweet talk his way into getting what he wanted. So it became habit to make his son wait, to really think before responding. But as he stroked his goatee, mulling over possible answers; his son pressed on.

"That was the best."

"How so?" Master Splinter blurted without thinking, caught off guard and genuinely intrigued.

"It was like, a special sleepover!" lifting his head to face his sensei, baby blues sparkled in the dim light. "We had to sleep in the dojo, with pillows and blankets and we all stayed together! We got to share stories! Eat in bed! And watch cartoons from the little tele we used to have! Whatever happened to it…? Oh well! The _point_ is! Those were good times."

'… _Good times…?'_

Master Splinter had to smile. Only Michelangelo could find good in such terrible circumstances. As a father, his recollection of that time was very different. Worrying for days on end, unable to sleep, bundling them together so that he could maintain a strong vigil. The fever they had contracted was barely managed with their meagre supplies, and help was non-existent. It was so serious he had planned a trip to the surface world, to _steal_ medicine from a _hospital!_ Thankfully it hadn't come to that, the fever had broken naturally; but still…It was a time of despair. A time he would never forget. _Never!_

"Do you think…" Uncertainty tinged his son's voice. "…If we had another sleepover – they'd be happy again? The sadness is making them sick! It's scaring me Sensei! First Leo! Then Donnie! Then Leo was crying! And then Donnie was crying! And I just–! I don't like to see them like that!"

Michelangelo's lower lip quivered and it tugged at his heart.

"My son…" Garnet portrayed love and strength as he tried to distract his son. "You have the uncanny ability to see the good in every situation."

Eye ridges furrowed quizzically, brain flipping as easily as a light switch, "What does 'uncanny' mean?"

"It can mean many things, my son. But in this case, it means…" He paused for dramatic emphasis. "Awesome!"

"You think I'm awesome?" Michelangelo asked eagerly.

"Of course!" Master Splinter answered. "Your heart is pure, Michelangelo, full of light and hope; one that can illuminate any darkness. Do not doubt this; your brothers will need you in the trials ahead."

Guilt began gnawing at the edges of his mind, but he shot it down as he prioritised his son's needs.

"…Dad?" A hand squeezed his tightly, and Master Splinter squeezed it back.

"Yes, Michelangelo."

"Raph's coming back, right?" Baby blues were wide and innocent. "I know it looks bad, I know what we all heard! And, I know he's tough an' all! And he don't need us, but–! But I know my bro and–! It ain't right! He'd never _do_ this to us! He'd never _leave!_ " There was a flash of panic, a spark of energy. "Unless he was kidnapped and FORCED to say those things! Dad! What're we doing?! I shouldn't be in bed! We have to go! Get up and find him–!"

Master Splinter gently held his son in place, preventing him from leaving the bed, "…we have to find him! _Please,_ dad!"

Whiskers twitched and ears drooped at the desolate tone; his son was exhausted and hurting.

"We will, my son. But first you need to rest. Just a few hours, then we'll go look for him. Settle down, now. That's it…" He held the covers as his son laid back down, unable to put up a real struggle. "…Rest, my son."

With practised ease he slipped the orange mask from his son's head, draping it over a handle of the helm headboard. By the time he had turned back, worried baby blues were half hidden beyond heavy lids, a yawn escaping a wide mouth. A whimsical smile lingered on his lips as he resumed stroking the head of his youngest, until loud snores ricocheted within the room. Then it disintegrated. Raw despair urged him to stay, to be bubbled by the peace that they shared. But he knew that was impossible, so with a heavy heart, he retraced the steps he had taken to leave his son's room. He had to meditate.

He had to find his son.

***TMNT***

 _Half buried beneath the foulest smelling substance he had ever encountered; the turtle lay broken in the dark. Despite his weakened state, he hissed lowly in his throat to scare away the furry creatures. Other than his raspy voice and his damaged shell, he had no other defences; and they were nasty. He'd rather be alone than deal with those fiendish beasts._

 _But there was no such luck. They came back, three of them this time. Two had clambered onto his carapace, the other snarling at the gap designed for his head. Squeaking! Clawing! Gnawing! Snapping! Snarling! It was all he could hear as his shell rocked under the assault. He hissed at them again, the sound rumbling deep in his sore throat; but they never let–!_

" _ **SHOO!"**_

 _The rats scarpered, squealing as they fled. That booming sound morphed into a deafening cackle above him; it was utterly terrifying! He withdrew as much as possible, hoping to be overlooked, to be spared. He breathed a sigh of relief when the noise quietened down. Maybe, just maybe, he had finally gotten his wish._

 _But then he soared, becoming weightless as he hung mid-air. He hissed furiously, and was stunned when something hissed back. As he dared to take a peek, bright emerald stared back at him._

" _H-Hey!" That voice was excited, hushed; but so loud! "You okay in there? Doncha worry about those mean rats! Daddy says they're his cousins or something like that. We're not to hurt them, and we have to tell daddy if they bite us! They didn't bite you, did they?! If they did, we have to–!"_

 _That voice babbled on and on! He wished he could block out all the noise! His world suddenly flipped over, then righted again! Urgh!_

" _I've never seen – I mean you're green and–!…Y-You got a shell?! Just like me!" Stop it with the poking already! "Lookie! See that! See! You're…? You're just like me!"_

 _His world jerked to the right for a moment, eyes blurring with the motion, then reeled back to where he started. Oh how he hurt. He hissed to emphasise the point, but was ignored once more._

" _But?!" Emerald twitched from side to side, almost pressed against his gap, peering inside. "…You're so small…?! Doncha worry! I'll take care of you! There's loads of greens back home! You can eat them all! Then you'll be big! Just like me!"_

 _Something large swiped against his carapace, against the grime covered crack. It stung! He hissed again, but his world just wouldn't let up!_

" _Sorry little guy, I'm just trying to–!" The persistent rocking motion was making him queasy. "–clean you up! Daddy'll say no if you stink, and I don't wanna leave you here! Daddy gets real mad when I touch this stuff and–!"_

" _Raphael!" He didn't hear any footsteps, but suddenly his world whirled once more and a strong voice rang clear. "My son! How many times must I tell you not to wander off?! The tunnels are dangerous!"_

"… _Umm…"_

" _I bet he was playing with the poop again–!"_

"– _POOPIES! EWWWWWW–!"_

"– _I was not–!"_

"– _Then whatcha hiding, Raphie?"_

 _His shell trembled, because his world did. Several points pressed against his carapace, slid to where it hurt. He hissed!_

"– _What was that?!"_

"– _Raphie's hissing at us–!"_

"– _Nah ah–!"_

"– _He's in twouble now!"_

 _There was a stagnant pause. "…Let me see, my son."_

 _His world swerved to the right at a much slower pace this time, wobbled somewhat; then he soared once more. Higher and higher he went, until blinking garnet scrutinised him through the gap. His heart spluttered to a stuttering halt._

 _It was a_ GIANT! _FURRY!_ CREATURE!

 _ **HE WAS GOING TO DIE!**_

 _Well this turtle ain't going down without a fight! He snapped and he hissed, squirming to dislodge the iron-like grip; but it was too strong! Gnarled fingers held him securely, one close to his gap. He darted out! Snap! Hiss! Snap! Hiss! SNAP–!_

" _IT BIT DADDY–!"_

"– _MONSTER–!"_

"– _GET IT! GET IT! GET IT!"_

 _Chaos reigned beyond the safety of his shell, and for a moment weightlessness returned. But he wasn't soaring this time. No; he was falling, plummeting! A drop from this height would surely shatter his–!_

" _Gotcha!" Warmth captured him, blanketed him; but his world exploded. "Sorry daddy! H-He didn't mean to! He's not a monster! You scared him, t-that's all! Don't make me throw him away!"_

 _There was a funny sort of sniffing sound, "D-Don't make me–!"_

" _Calm yourself, Raphael!" The strong voice intoned, "All of you; calm…He is not a monster Michelangelo, but a turtle, and he is in need of some assistance. Perhaps a new home…?"_

" _You mean–! So I–!" The warmth intensified around him. "–I can keep him…?"_

" _Hmmm…Owning a pet is a huge responsibility, Raphael. Something that needs to be discussed at a later time." The strong one replied, "Let us make haste, my sons. I believe we have had enough excitement for one day…"_

 _And then?_

 _It could've been hours later, or maybe even days; but he felt much, much better. After a magnitude of snapping and hissing on his part, his shell had been cleaned and bandaged by the giant cousin of the furry creatures – and now the leaf poking through the gap enticed him so! That first leaf had been within easy reach, and gobbled within seconds. The second was slightly further out, but he braved it, using his beak to drag it into his shell. The third was waving back and forth just a short way away; but he had to venture out to retrieve it. As he dared to go beyond the safety of his shell, something bopped him on the head!_

 _OI!_

" _Doncha worry, nothing bad's gonna happen to you here. Daddy'll see that I can be re-re…re-spons-a …Ummm…re-spons-a-bubble…yeah! That's the big word he used!" He recognised that babbling voice and settled down immediately. "I'm gonna do it, just you wait and see! Then you can stay, and we can be best friends! Maybe even brothers!" Something thudded, though he paid it no mind. "Us brave, broke-ed shells, well; we gotta stick together!"_

 _Glancing up towards the voice, his head cocked inquisitively. This strange creature was a turtle, so similar to him, but not. For starters he wore a funny band of red around his eyes, walked on two feet, and spoke as if he were human! He was fiery and loud; big albeit small; strong, and yet so sensitive. They called him Raphael, and though he was bigger than him, he looked like he could use some guidance from someone more experienced. Maybe he should stick around..._

" _Chew on your leaf!" Raphael commanded. "If you think 'Spike' is a good name!"_

 _What?!_

 _SPIKE!_

 __Spike_ was hardly a brave name like Raphael, and he wasn't in the mood to play stupid games; he was hungry! He took a bite just to satisfy said hunger, and watched dumbfounded as curious emerald widened over something so simple. A beaming smile lit up the chubby face instantly, musical laughter bubbling to the surface. It made him feel all funny inside, and though he still hated the name 'Spike', he could live with it if he got to experience that tingling sensation again. He'd do anything to see that look grace Raphael's face, to hear such a beautiful sound; he wanted to bask in the glow they radiated. It ignited the charred part of his heart in a way he never thought possible, giving him the strength to dream of a second chance with this strange giant-little turtle; the one who had saved him from a miserable fate._

 _The one who, in such a short space of time, had become his whole world._

 _His brother. His Raphael._

A wriggling sensation tugged Slash away from his virtual cocoon, and even though his senses were still boggled, his hand tensed automatically, pressing down on whatever it was that disturbed his slumber. The squirming became more persistent, jarring his arm, and eye ridges furrowed with irritation. A small part of his brain called for him to deal with it, but with his eyes glued shut and his face half snuggled half hanging off the edge of something soft, he couldn't be asked. End of. He needed to sleep, dammit! It would just have to wait!

But now minute details were jabbing away, not all of them pleasant. Legs and feet were riddled with pins and needles, almost crippling him. His head was twisted sideways, neck locked in place. One arm was folded and squashed between his body and a horizontal beam of some kind, while the other was outstretched, bumping in time with the jerking warmth it was thrown upon. The vague sensation of squeaking springs speared his hearing, comparable to that of scraping nails.

But it didn't matter. Fingers curled the hard edge and pressed down more firmly, forcing it in place. Something yanked those digits in retaliation, but it was the harsh muttering's that sparked his interest. The words themselves had little consequence, but the voice itself. It was…familiar…? …It was…? …It was…?

Wait!

How could he have forgotten his miracle so quickly?! Slash careened as if he had been doused, uncaring of the sharp crick in his neck or the muscles that screamed in protest. As he swept the length of his outstretched arm, blinking crusty sleep from drowsy eyes, a much older Raphael glared up at him. He couldn't decipher what emotion dominated that emerald firestorm, but the blaze was roaring, and it was locked on him.

It was time.

***TMNT***

Distractions were numerous, came in many forms, and were tricky to control. It had taken Master Splinter years of strict discipline to train his mind – to become a master of patience and meditation. But as he knelt upon the floor in the dojo, in his usual position before the tree; he realised that even years of training couldn't prepare him for the absolute devastation that losing a child would wrought. He felt like a helpless student with no one to guide him. Raphael.

'… _I didn't wanna burden ya with somethin' else…_ _ **'**_

Master Splinter flinched, guilt cascading in waves. He had told his children tales of when they were young and had, not lied per say, but kept certain details from them in an effort to raise them with morals and a sense of honour. He didn't want to burden them with the bitter truth; that their survival had depended on him breaking his own code. Bin diving and swiping food; that was what he had been reduced to. Restaurant tables. Hotdog stands. Take-out mopeds. Anything would do. He needed to provide for his family, end of. As a mutant rat, the term 'honest living' had become a moot point. He wouldn't allow his children to starve – even if he had to steal. Even when he knew it was wrong.

'… _Lying…Thieving…Gettin' my hands dirty…_ _ **'**_

And now, without even realising it, Raphael had begun walking in his stead, silently taking on that dreaded role; carrying the burden of provider without a murmur of protest. While his siblings showed off their talents with pride – Leonardo with his training, Donatello with his intellect, and Michelangelo with his ingenuity; Raphael had been hiding secrets behind a wall of muscle and anger, wallowing in self-loathing as he struggled alone. Not knowing that his _honourable_ father would understand, because he had been there himself!

'… _I didn't wanna drag ya down to my level…'_

Self-loathing tried to worm its way into his own heart, but Master Splinter shoved it back with force. He would not give in to this. He would make a connection with his son, bring him home; and then repair the damage. Raphael might not believe it, but he was just as important to him as his brothers. Even if it took him years, he was going to get that message through to his most stubborn child. But first he needed to find him. Empty your mind, Yoshi.

The scent of sandalwood helped tremendously. It clung to his nostrils with every breath, and Master Splinter let the warm sensation flow through him. As time passed his troubled thoughts slowly followed suit. They rose and fell, gently bobbing to an imaginary tide, easy going with no destination in mind. Further and further they drifted, until all that remained was clear space; receptive to the spiritual realm.

Though millions upon millions of souls were displayed before him, each represented as a ball of light in a vast space of aqua lit hues – only one soul interested him in that moment. Tendrils of light reached out, each one stretching further and further. He would find his son. Find him, and bring him home.

'… _Raphael, my son. I'm coming for you…'_

***TMNT***

With his body weak and sprawled, Raph seethed as the truth smacked him upside his head. He was pinned. He was defenceless. But most importantly; he __HATED__ it!

"It's okay, Buddy."

'… _No! No, it's not…!'_

As he glowered defiantly up at his captor, locked in a bitter stalemate, he tried to cling to the fiery rage that 'leader Leo' inspired. That inner voice kept barking orders at him until it realised it was futile. Then it abandoned him, leaving Raph to deal with his gut-wrenching conflict alone. His heart clenched with that purified grief, anxiety taking a morbid joy-ride along its undercurrent, refusing to be buried. Even with the other looming over him, an obvious threat, he just–! He just couldn't _bring_ himself to _see_ Slash as anything other than his _confidant_ , his _best friend_ ; his _brother!_ _ARGH!_

'… _Why can't I just_ HATE _you…?!'_

But that question would have to wait. Since escaping seemed impossible, he tried to predict Slash's play instead. Not that _that_ helped him much. Those features were unreadable. What was he doing, anyway? While one hand held him in place the other was gravitating near his temple, far too close for comfort, and…Was that a rag?! A feral growl bubbled deep in his throat as he scooted as far as he could go, glaring ferocious daggers at the offensive object. No way was he gonna be petted like a mutt!

'… _The Shell, Slash! Don't you_ DARE _…!'_

But Slash carried on as if he was oblivious to the turmoil he was instigating. That or he simply didn't care. Either way the tatty cloth followed him until it made contact and Raph hissed through gritted teeth.

'… _STOP...!'_

Damp coolness soothed him despite his silent protests, dabbing against hot, irritated flesh. Raph wanted to howl in outrage. He didn't need to be _nursed!_ But those gentle caresses sucker punched his crumbling resolve, obliterated his wavering defences. It suddenly became a momentous task just to keep his eyelids open. Reality slipped through proverbial fingertips.

"…That's it brother…Let me do this…"

That gravelly lilt calmed his thundering heartbeat, breaths slowing down to match its pace. His bone-weary frame began to shut down bit by bit, head lolling ever so slightly as his mind followed suit. A comforting lull beckoned to him from the darkness…

" …Let me take care of ya…!"

…And some part of him sluggishly agreed with the balm-like baritone. He was _so_ tired–!

'– _What are you doing, Raph?! Snap out of it! Slash is your enemy…!'_

Irritation ruptured at the rude awakening, and he fully intended to hurl abuse at his older brother for daring to wake him up; but failing vision threw him a curveball instead. The blurry silhouette towering over him…That wasn't Fearless…That was, it was…Spike…? No…Not Spike…Slash now…Whatever, but…Wait! _SLASH!_ What the–?

'… _GET OUT OF THERE…!'_

Lids blinked at a furious pace as he tried to kick himself into gear, to gain some semblance of control or, or _something!_ Whatever was happening here, he couldn't give in to it! Raph squirmed, snarling ferociously when that action caused a cold slither to _scrape_ at the bend of his aching arm. He knew what that meant without even looking. A _NEEDLE!_ Slash had _ _DRUGGED__ him?! No wonder he felt so _disorientated_ , so _emotional!_ Curses flew from his mouth, frail and raspy but ferocious all the same. He had to get out! He had to get out _NOW!_

" _Quit it!_ Just _listen_ to me!"

'… _NO…!'_

He wrenched at the fingers that kept him prisoner, grunting with the effort; but it was like trying to bend concrete!

"There's nothing–!"

Raph huffed.

"–You can say–!"

And puffed.

"–That I wanna–!"

Panic pitching his voice higher.

"– _Hear!_ "

Urgency tangled with frustration as Slash replied. "Just gimme a _chance!_ "

" _No!_ " Raph retorted with as much strength as he could muster. "Lemme up, Slash! Right now! Get! _Offa!_ **Me!** "

Raph threw his entire weight against the pin, thrashing but getting nowhere fast. Somewhere above him, Slash lost his patience. The hand pressed down until his body caved, collapsing with a strangled gasp; dripping sweat and spasmodic with failure. As soon as that happened, the added strain was immediately lifted.

" _Why_ do you have to be so stubborn?!" Slash sneered in his face, so close that short puffs of breath mingled between them. "I can't _talk_ to you when you're like this!"

Large fingers circled his upper arm, fumbling meticulously along the sensitive skin near his armpit. Eyes were boring into him as various points were poked, as if looking for some kind of reaction; but what could he possibly gain by jabbing the underside of his arm? And then it hit him. The _pressure point!_

Oh, Shell no!

'… _DON'T LET IT HAPP–!'_

But it was too late, the result instantaneous. Every muscle relaxed against his will, stomach lurching at the petrifying shift. _NO!_ His body had been rendered completely useless, like pliable putty waiting to be manipulated – he couldn't even twitch a finger! Slash remained unreadable as he rocked back on his hunches, squatting beside the bed with his face shadowed. But to Raph's spiralling mind those were minor details. He had let himself become all of the things he despised! Open, vulnerable, and utterly exposed! It scared him, terrified him! Slash could do anything he wanted! And he couldn't fight back! Was he hyperventilating? _The Heck!_ What did _that_ matter?!

 _He._ Could. _Not._ **MOVE!**

 _ **HE COULD NOT MOVE!**_

A keening whine escaped him, desperation at its core. A mammoth-sized hand responded, cupping his unresisting head. It gently turned his face till they were eye to eye. Eyelids closed in mortification. _This ain't happening!_

"Don't fight it, Raphael." Don't _ **FIGHT** _ it?! You smug, arrogant son of a–! "And don't move. I'll be right back."

'… _Don't move…?'_

Slash stood up with ease, beyond his range of vision, and lumbered out the door.

'… _Don't MOVE…!'_

In his mind Raph was bellowing with fury, had already torn the place apart. Reality however, told a very different story. The pressure point had him thoroughly shackled, helplessly bound to the bed. Only three things remained under his control. The ability to blink, the ability to think, and the ability to work his tortured vocal cords. Not that _that_ helped him much. All three were useless in this crisis. Screaming was out of the question. What would be the point anyway? They were squirreled away in a concrete bunker of some kind, and beyond that was a complete mystery – who knew what else lay beyond that door?

So that left his brain, and what a mess that was. No longer consumed by Slash's presence, abstract memories clambered for his attention, squabbling amongst themselves…Fighting a bolt load of Kraang in the street…Being ambushed by the foot…the _Shredder!_

Fear coiled his wrenching gut at the turmoil that memory wrought. He could imagine himself standing in the dojo before his father, unable to do anything as the other turned his back on him, cold and dismissive. Maybe for good…? It wouldn't be the first time Raph had contemplated the idea, and it wasn't that farfetched either. His father saw the demon within him, saw him for what he really was. He might not have said anything but Raph knew it to be true. His father giving him the Sai _ _Shredder's Sai_ _ only confirmed that devastating truth. If he ever saw him _collared_ , branded by the Foot, it would be the last straw for sure. It would destroy; _everything!_

"You ain't ready yet."

Wait! That wasn't his father's voice…

Slash was back. When did that happen? Was he so far gone that he couldn't even keep track of what was going on?! As he silently berated himself for his lack of awareness, the larger turtle squatted beside the bed-frame, focused on something that Raph wasn't privy to see. Slash was rummaging with sheer concentration, until a white packet and a small vial came into view. Tearing said packet open, he glanced up with a mournful expression.

"We'll try again in a few hours."

That gravelly baritone sounded flat, deflated; almost saddened by his own words. It caught Raph off guard.

'… _A few hours…?'_ His brain repeated numbly, uncomprehending. _'…What…?'_

Emerald followed the swift movements and blanched as he realised what was happening. A syringe stabbed the seal with ease, the liquid transferring rapidly. The chamber was flicked a few times before the needle was lowered, pricking his skin. A faint whimper echoed. _No!_ Not more _drugs!_ If he went under, he would lose the last shred of control he had!

The world ignored him, the needle slipping further into his quaking form. Slash spared him a solemn glance, and Raph silently pleaded with him, begging with wide, watery irises; _don't do this!_

"…W–Wait…!" His uncoordinated mouth worked endlessly against the temporary paralysis, "…D–Don't…!"

Slash paused in his administrations, calculating in his scrutiny. A thumb pad swiped tauntingly over the plunger as he stalled, undecided.

"…You promise to listen…?" His tone wasn't convinced at all, almost like a sulky child.

"…I-I–!" Raph huffed, tongue numb and uncooperative. "I-I-I… I S-S-Swe–!"

 _Sewer apples!_ Stupid pressure points and stupid voice box and stupid mouth and stupid tongue! He tried nodding instead, fuming even more so at the mere twitch of his head. The frustration must have shown clearly on his face, for in that moment the corner of Slash's beak curved upwards, an eye ridge quirking in sync. A combination of relief and amusement danced in the eyes before him.

"It's okay, buddy. I believe ya…" The needle was quickly withdrawn and a rush of breath escaped him. "…I'll let you up, but you gotta stay on the bed till we're done. Understood…?"

Slash then threw him a wry smirk. "…Don't answer that, I know you're struggling. Here, let me help you up."

'… _Say what…!'_

Enormous digits were suddenly wrapped around his biceps, hauling him upright and propping his shell against the wall, arms slumping at his sides. Legs were next on the list, positioned over the edge of the bed with his feet planted on the floor. Slash wouldn't leave him alone, and Raph couldn't deny him as the other kept fiddling with minor details. Adjusting his eye mask and smoothing out the ragged tail ends, shifting the knot at the back of his head. It reminded him of Mikey when he fussed over his prized teddy bear, which in turn triggered disturbing imagery of Slash bouncing him on his knee, talking for him! Forget the ache thrumming throughout his entire body, being played with like a doll was the ultimate humiliation. He could almost hear his brothers laughing uproariously at the site.

But the embarrassment was cut short when Slash pulled back on his hunches, finally satisfied. Only one arm spanned the short space between them, hand cradling his otherwise unsupported head.

"There, I bet you feel much better. _Doncha!_ "

If Slash expected an answer, he was sorely disappointed. The encompassing silence was stifling; but Raph didn't care. Beyond the imploring features of his so called brother, the paralysis was beginning to wane. Reflexes were tested as subtly as possible, trying not to draw attention to it. Toes were twitching one after the other, fingers following their lead. His jaw clenched and unclenched to his will, his tongue twisting inside his mouth; it wouldn't be long now till his larger muscles came under his control. Then he could catch Slash off guard and fight his way free.

"C'mon, Raphael. _Talk_ to me!" Another heavy sigh lingered between them. "…I know you can…"

Raph frowned. So much for catching him off guard.

"…Whaddaya want me to say, Slash?" Raph conceded, raw pain underscoring his exhausted wisp. "You turned on my family. You beat up Donnie…Y-You…You tried to kill Mikey!"

Slash stayed perfectly calm. "It got a bit out of hand, but–!"

"A bit out of hand?!" Raph repeated incredulously. "You dangled him from a roof, Slash! _A roof!_ "

"I was just messing with ya."

"You nearly _killed_ him!" Raph hissed venomously, completely outraged that Slash would try and dismiss it so easily, but whatever meagre strength his voice had gained withered as the ramifications of that statement hit home. "…You nearly killed him..."

Tears stung the corners of his eyes, squeezing shut as hot trickles slithered down his cheeks. Nobody else knew just how close they had been to losing their baby brother that night. Mikey had been unconscious, Donnie had been trying to recover from his own attack on a nearby roof, and Leo had been saving a little girl from the mutagen by playing tea time with her. For weeks he had avoided them as much as possible, struggling to bury it; _praying_ that they would never find out.

But facing Slash like this forced him to confront the panic attack that grappled him when Mikey had been dangled by his ankle. It made him remember that split-second of crippling fear when he thought that Slash was going to drop him, unable to stop him. Although Raph knew how it ended that night, _knew_ his brother was safe; the nightmares that plagued him were relentless. They showed him his fun-loving, orange banded brother plastered on the sidewalk, broken and lifeless; time and time and time again! Illusions pummelled him with a quiet hysteria, dry heaving with a despairing need to cling to his baby brother. Ninja instincts had him down the corridor before he was even fully alert, but then he would catch himself just in time, _every_ time. While his family slumbered on, he found himself with a pulsating lump in his throat or a sharp pang in his chest, darkening Mikey's doorway. He never knew the time or how long he lurked for, but every time he stayed until he was certain that the latest horror was his own imaginings and nothing more. Then he would tear glazing emerald away, leaving as silently as he came. Wrestling with his guilt. Again.

"You need to calm down."

Moisture was swiped from the lower rim of Raph's eye, a move so tender it sparked his raging defiance. Gritting his teeth, he jerked away from the touch, thankful his head didn't flop the moment he did so. Slash's hand fell away. He didn't try to force the contact. That was something at least.

But in comparison to the prying eyes that kept seeking his own? No; this was way too much, too close, too _personal!_ No one ever saw him open like this, not since he was a kid. On the rare occasions when good old anger wasn't enough, when he needed to drop his guard, he would do so in the darkest, most private corner of his room. Only Spike ever saw; everything–!

But this _IS_ Spike! _Confidant!_

Whenever he needed to be heard, who always stopped and listened? _Best friend!_

Who was listening now…? _BROTHER!_

'… _No, Raph! That deranged freak hurt your brothers! Don't trust him…!'_

But he needed to trust _someone!_

And as that damned conflict roared within, he could see large digits in his lowered, peripheral vision. They were smoothing out the worn bed sheets, yanking at bobbles and fumbling with stray threads. Slash was fidgeting. Was he nervous…?

It was as if the other had heard him.

"I wanna fix things." Slash admitted quietly. "Make this right."

That hand was back again. It tried to tilt his chin up, causing several things to happen all at once. Raph snapped his head up, emerald blazing against the unwanted touch. An arm tried to swat the invading hand away, though it flopped uselessly before it even reached its target. Slash pulled back with surrendering palms, but it was the sharp sting lancing from his elbow that captured his attention. He zoned in on it immediately. The _needle!_ How had he forgotten about that?! He _HATED_ _needles!_ Slash noticed it too.

"Lemme get that for ya!"

Before he could say no Slash was all over it, bumbling hands swallowing his entire forearm in their eagerness. Digits fumbled with the needle that was miniscule in comparison, catching the skin a couple of times before successfully removing it. Flaming irises followed the trailing wire it was connected to, glaring at the IV stand that was–!

"Stop that!" Something poked him right between furrowed eye ridges, and Raph was suddenly confronted with Slash's annoyed countenance. "You were messed up! We had to sedate you!"

'… _Why? What happened…?'_

It triggered his suspicious nature. "…Did we fight?"

And did they? Shell if he could remember. His brain was fried beyond comprehension. Okay Raph, get it together. What happened?! Why was he here with Slash? Where were his brothers?! Wait a minute! Where _were_ they?!

The larger turtle scratched his head nervously. "…Well we did just now and–!"

"Where are my brothers?!" Raph cut him off.

The urgency in his tone was undeniable, and Slash sneered, muttering obscenities under his breath. Raph could see him truly struggling to contain himself, frame quaking with the effort, but that only made things worse. What the Shell happened?! Were they hurt? Abandoned somewhere?

"Of course you'd ask about them first!" The other answered bitterly.

By this point anxiety was twisting knots in his gut. He needed answers, and the only one who seemed to know anything about it hated their guts. His body needed to obey him already so he could get up and find them!

"Slash–!"

"I don't know!" The larger turtle exclaimed, arms flailing dramatically. "You were on your own when I found you! And I couldn't leave ya! Not like that!"

Then he twisted sideways, away from him; _slumped_ and _hunched._ "Not that you believe me."

Rejection roiled from Slash's form, so sudden and so potent he could almost taste it in the stale air between them. It tore at something deep within him, and before he even realised he was doing it, a numb arm rose from the bed. Whatever this was, here, right now; it was raw and stomach-wrenching, and Raph couldn't bear to sit by and do nothing – not while a brother was _hurting!_ Not when said brother was telling the _truth!_ Though it took every ounce of control he had, his strangely detached hand fell upon a trembling shoulder, squeezing with as much reassurance as possible.

"What happened, Slash?"

Locking onto watery irises, Raph was determined to bypass the overwhelming roller coaster they were stuck on. No more distractions! No more damned _emotions_ getting in the way! He had to console his brother, piece this together, and find out what the Shell was going on! Then he'd find the ass responsible and punch him square in the kisser!

However Slash gazed back at him quizzically, as if he had never seen him before. After a couple of beats, his eyes became as round as saucers, mouth mimicking the round gesture as something seemed to click. It was like he was trying to solve his own puzzle.

"What do you remember, Raphael?"

Wait! Ain't he supposed to be the one asking questions? "…Wha…?"

"What do you remember?" Slash repeated, more urgently this time.

Eye ridges knitted together as he turned towards his neglected memories, but without even trying flashes were thrown at him like grenades, sucker-punching him in rapid succession.

'… _Shredder! Lackeys! Pain! Running! Hiding! Tunnels! Sensei! Shame! Collar! Tracker! Tracking him! Never betray them! Get it off! Fry it! The docks! Cold! Windy! Lost! Unsure! Pain! Wet! Blinding! Agony! Can't BREATHE–!'_

"Raphael!" A hand landed on his shoulder, forcing him back to the present. Just who was comforting who here?! "We showed you a photo. Do you remember the photo…?"

Was Slash trying to be, sympathetic…? His gravelly baritone seemed to portray that, was trying to be as soft as possible; but it did nothing to calm him down. In fact the words wrested more from him…a brief flash. The photo…it was beneath him….His brothers…Their faces...That harrowing coldness…

…Whispers began to slither forth…

*Thwack!*

...Relaying an order already spoken…

 _*Thwack!*_

…Unveiled from the darkest pit of his mind…

 ***THWACK!***

"–It's messing with ya–" Slash sounded grave, filtering through the chaos with a tap to the noggin'. "–Up here–"

"…No…" Raph's head moved side to side, a slow, mechanical show of denial; but the truth was jumping up and down excitedly. It waved enthusiastically, those words playing over and over, refusing to be ignored. He'd recognised that taunting lilt anywhere.

'… _Hamato, Raphael…'_ Shredder! _'…I order you to find your brothers, look them in the eye, and kill them. When you're done, bring me proof. Bring it to me…!'_

Emerald glazed with unshed tears as the world was ripped from under him.

"–Danger to 'em–"

'… _No…!'_

"–Raphael–!"

"… _NO…!'_

Shaking his head more ferociously, Raph was deaf to it all. His larynx flexed endlessly to gain precious oxygen into shrivelled lungs, his adams apple bobbing with the strain. That action flounced the irritable, prickly sensation that ringed his throat; and he snapped. Digits were flying without thought, scrabbling frantically for the edges of that cursed collar! He vaguely noted that the paralysis had finally worn off; but it was of little comfort now. This thing was coming off and it was coming off _NOW–!_

"What are you trying to do?!" Slash was in his face, trapping his fingers, yanking them down with ease. "Fry yourself!"

Raph didn't even blink: _I'll kill him!_ It was a crazed mantra. _I'll kill him!_ Chanting inside his own head. _I'll kill him!_ Stoking the mounting ire. _I'll kill him!_ With a white-hot poker. _I'll kill him!_ It tore reality to shreds. _I'll kill him!_ Was all encompassing. _I'll kill him!_ Death and destruction _I'll kill him!_ Hazed in blood-red gore. _I'll kill him!_ It was all he could see. _I'll kill him!_ Merciless and feral. _I'll kill him!_ Consuming all in its path. _I'll kill him!_ Nothing would stop him! _I'll kill him!_ He would tear Shredder to _pieces–!_

" _Dammit,_ Hothead! Don't _do_ that!" Something jarred him hard. " _Listen_ to me!"

"I told ya! You're not on your own! We'll help ya! No one messes with my brother and gets away with it!" Blurred features were searching his own for…recognition…? "They won't know what hit 'em! I swear it, Raphael! We'll get it offa ya! I promise ya!"

The grip around his hands tightened, and Raph clung on as though it was a grounding lifeline. His forehead pressed against those boulder-like fists, riding out that destructive wave, a broken whine lingering between them. As insurmountable a force as it was, it depleted as quickly as it flared, leaving behind a tortured soul. Shameful wetness soaked his mask, a few droplets splashing against his legs, yet beyond the emotional duress; something else clicked. Slash kept saying _we_. As in: more than one?

It didn't make sense…

"That's right." Slash stated proudly, and Raph belatedly realised that he had spoken out loud. Not that he cared much. Any form of digression was a welcomed change of pace, that's for sure. "I got my own team an' everything!"

With that Slash was off, grinning impishly. On and on he babbled, animated not only in voice but in hand gestures as well. Finding this place, tracking mutagen, fighting Kraang to save the city! The heroic tales he weaved were flamboyant to say the least, probably exaggerated; but it was the sheer enthusiasm he held for each and every team member that had Raph sitting upright, cross-legged and eager to hear more. It was hard to believe, but Slash really _cared_ about them, and _protected_ them! He had, _moved on!_

It left Raph speechless, utterly amazed. His friend had accomplished so much, and in such a short space of time! The change was incredible! It ignited a precious spark within him, a flickering ember of hope. Maybe… Maybe they could fix the burnt bridges, start anew. Maybe in time, if handled right, he could even mend the rift between Slash and his family. He might not have to _choose–!_

A creak interrupted his thoughts, the door swinging wide open. Rockwell floated in with a jug, plates and glasses following him. It was a fascinating sight to behold, but Raph could only think of his sorry state, this private moment the newcomer had invaded. He used the larger turtles imposing form as a means of concealment, scrubbing furiously at the damp patches on his face. Don't let it look as bad as it _feels–!_

"Sorry for interrupting." Was Rockwell's definition of an introduction, concentrating on the destination of his inanimate followers. "But I thought you could do with some breakfast."

Without even turning to look, Slash shut him down. "Not right now, Rockwell."

"I'll not take no for an answer, Slash. I'll just be a moment." The assortment of objects clattered on the floor as they landed by the bed. "I brought you both some water." The jug started pouring itself. "And some toast. It's nothing fancy, but it'll do for now." Rockwell settled beside Slash, sparing Raph a quick glance before he busied himself once more. Slash ducked his head, focused entirely on the dozen or so slices before him.

"It's nice to see you awake, Raphael."

"Dr. Rockwell." Raph acknowledged.

"Here you are." A plate holding a couple of browned slices quite literally flew into his lap, crumbs skittering from the momentum. "Take small bites, and chew it properly before swallowing. If you feel nauseous, stop immediately." Emerald went cross eyed as a glass was shoved under his beak. "And drink this. Hopefully it won't be necessary to use the IV again."

The thought of needles sent his stomach reeling, but Rockwell carried on. "I'll need to do a full examination after you're done. Just to be sure you're alright."

"S' not necessary." Raphael grumbled, hating the attention.

"Quite the contrary." Rockwell argued. "You were in a terrible state. Here Slash…"

Rockwell held a glass up. Slash nodded in quiet gratitude. They shared a brief glance, and the glass slipped, hitting the floor with a clang. Rockwell became a jittery mess as he scrambled for some towels, apologising over and over while Slash overcompensated in his attempts to placate him. Raph was stunned by the nervous energy bouncing between them, but not overly so. It wasn't so long ago that Rockwell had been experimented on; traumatised by his best friend. That would make anybody jumpy, and Slash was hardly gentle on the eyes. Raph watched with a twang of pity as they cleaned up the mess together, and then Rockwell poured another glass. As they tried again, the water shook unsteadily.

"…S-So…" Rockwell paused, taking a deep, settling breath. "Raphael...Erm…I just remembered…I wanted to ask you something…"

Raph nodded minutely at Rockwell, wordlessly encouraging the primate along. Slash watched the exchange from over the rim of his glass. The poor guy was wringing his hands, eyes almost spasmodic.

"…How do you two–" Rockwell gulped. "–know each other…?"

Raph raised a baffled eye ridge, becoming more concerned when Slash suddenly choked. What was with them?! Didn't Rockwell already know? It's not like it's something to hide! But then again, maybe it was…? Their time together meant everything to Raph and yet–! Was Slash…ashamed…? Mikey's jaunts sprang to mind, childish albeit hurtful, and a swell of anger enveloped him. There was no reason to be _ASHAMED!_ Without pausing to think, he blurted out the truth. There was nothing to hide, _dammit!_

"…Your _p-pet_ …!" Rockwell repeated, his voice dying on him.

"YYYeeesss." Raph dragged the word out, insulted by the others reaction. "Does that _bother_ you?"

'… _Jeez, Rockwell! It's not that big a deal…!'_

"N-No, but–!" Rockwell cut himself off with another audible gulp. "Just so we're clear…" The monkey teetered. "…You're his _owner_?!"

"I was." Raph deadpanned; anger kicking into high gear. "Look! What's the big deal?! _You_ were a _human_ that got turned into a _mutant_ _monkey!_ You've no right to judge us!"

"Come back later, Rockwell." Slash added, tone dismissive.

Rockwell spun towards the larger turtle, freaking out even more. "Slash…I really think you should come with me! R-Right now!"

'… _What the Heck…!'_ Raph silently fumed. _'…The Shell is WRONG with this dude…?!'_

"I said." Slash retorted lowly. "Later, Rockwell!"

"But Slash." Rockwell pleaded weakly. "Your eyes."

Now that piqued his curiosity, so he snuck a quick peek. Whatever it was, Raph couldn't see it. Those irises were the exact same shade they had been the day he changed; mutagen green. They were slightly red-rimmed from lack of sleep perhaps, but nothing too severe. Why was Rockwell acting so strange…?

"Leave us, Rockwell." Slash insisted.

The primate backed down, objects following his shaky lead as he practically flew towards the door. Raph watched him go with an eagles' eye, empathy stealing the helm from anger.

'… _Falco really messed him up…'_

"Don't mind him, he means well." Slash shrugged nonchalantly, refusing to meet his gaze as he coughed into his fist. "Listen, Hothead. I meant what I said before. We'll help ya." He stood and Raph took the hint, standing to face his friend – but Shell! Even that hurt! "C'mon. I'll give ya the tour–!"

"I'm sorry, Slash." A pang pierced his chest as Slash's smile dropped. "But I gotta go."

"Weren't ya listening?" The larger turtle asked, clearly exasperated. "I said we'd help ya!"

"I know. But I can't…" He trailed off, wavering.

Oh he _knew_ they'd help him, and a part of him was sorely tempted by the offer. to stay and fix what was broken, to truly have his friend back and become a part of the Ultimate Ninja Team! But he couldn't be so selfish. Slash had created his own little family, made a home with them...and it humbled him to see it. He wouldn't ruin that for his friend.

But more importantly, he had check in with his brothers, make sure they were okay, tell them what was going on and prepare himself for one of Fearless's lectures. The corner of his mouth tugged at the thought; he was almost looking forward to it. Even if he couldn't see their faces, he could still hear their voices, just one call to warn them before he disappeared and–!

'… _Wait a minute. Where's my T-Phone…?'_

He began patting down his belt, anxious pulses jabbing at him when it wasn't there. Neither was his one remaining Sai, nor the Shuriken or Tanto. Everything was–!

Suddenly shoved under his beak, presented to him in a cracked, translucent container. Eyes flitted up to Slash's knowing gaze, and then back to the box, sheathing his belongings one at a time. Everything was there – including a folded, crackled piece of paper he didn't remember having. The only thing missing was his T-Phone.

'… _Where was it…?'_

A huff interrupted his musings. " _You_ can't do this on your own. Y'know that."

"And _you_ can't risk your team for me." Raph replied calmly, raising a fist. "Don't leave me hanging, Okay Slash…"

Shoulders squared in response. "…No."

"C'mon, Slash. I–!"

But then he stopped himself. Thrumming guilt weighed heavy, creating an invisible barrier between them. Slash had completely closed himself off. It was pointless to continue. He let his fist fall limply at his side, rejected in turn.

"So do I turn left?" Raph asked, trying to keep as upbeat as possible. "Or right?"

Slash didn't answer, so Raph tried again. "To get out, Slash. Left or right?"

Slash indicated the right, a mere twitch of his head and nothing more; but Raph didn't have time to console him, not now. His missing T-Phone threw a wrench into the works, one he wasn't prepared for. It meant he had no way to contact his brothers, and he couldn't go home to warn them. Sure, Donnie had nagged him senseless to memorise one contact number, y'know; just in case of _emergencies!_ But Raph had blown him off. It's not like he'd be stupid enough to lose his T-Phone! Famous last words, _bonehead!_

He swung the door open and slipped out with a murmured 'so long', a waft of that strange smell registering as he veered to the right, eyes on his feet as he wracked his brain. Remember the number, Raph! Just one _blasted_ number! It was something like, 07596…? Or was that – 077495…? Dammit! _Why_ didn't he take the time to _remem–!_

Thoughts scarpered as he suddenly stopped…

'… _What the…?'_

Steps began leading the way up, but then, after half a dozen or so…? Well it was just _chaos!_ Plywood planks crisscrossed the width of the corridor haphazardly, buckling under the strain. Gaps were bulging with some form of bumpy, overly thickened paste. _Concrete?_ Stray blobs dried mid trail, bumpy piles scattered upon the steps. Eyes widened fractionally at the bizarre site, cold dread pooling in the pit of his gut. Alarm bells began ringing; he couldn't be seeing, what he was seeing!

But he was.

The exit was _blocked!_

But before he could even think to back up, a dark shadow loomed overhead, large and foreboding, shrouding him in darkness. A spike of fear stalled his pounding heart.

"You just had to be a stubborn ass."

'… _NO WAI–!'_

 ***SMASH!***

***TMNT*** **END CHAPTER FOUR** ***TMNT***

 ******* **CHECK DOWN BELOW IF YOU NEED TO READ THE WARNING*****

….

…

..

.

..

…

….

…..

…..

….

…

..

.

..

…

….

…..

 **WARNING!**

Death to major characters – but only in a nightmare! It is the first scene, roughly a page and a half, written in italics – you can skip it and still enjoy the rest of the chapter. Thanks for taking the time to read this.


	6. Chapter Five

Thank you to everyone who is reading, following and/or had fav'ed this fiction, but a massive shout out to LittleOldWriter12, Someonethe3rd, Raigon and Grungekitty for taking time to review the last chapter – your ongoing support has been amazing; thank you guys so much. I hope you enjoy this next instalment.

All warnings are explained before the prologue.

So now onto chapter five; I'm not spoiling this one…Just scroll on down and enjoy…

Disclaimer: I do not own TMNTS – nor the cover pic. I make no money – just practising my flare of the dramatic with my favourite characters.

So thanks for taking the time to read this, I hope you enjoy it. Please note that this is not beta-ed but I've done my best.

 **Collared Sai~yonara.**

Written By

Blazin Shadow.

***TMNT*** **CHAPTER FIVE** ***TMNT***

Pale rays of sunlight shimmered through the high windows beyond, weaving around his armour-clad form and the throne his sat upon, creating jagged shadows that eclipsed the room in terrifying darkness. Upon the walkway below, a single mutant bent low, nervousness rolling off of its fish-shaped frame in waves. An imperceptible sneer lined his scarred features at the disgusting sight. No words needed to be traded. He knew his underling had failed him.

'… _Pathetic creature. Let it squirm in its incompetence…!'_

"Master Shredder. We–!" The mutant's natural bravado faltered momentarily. "–We were unable to capture the turtle, but I can assure you, I–!"

A gauntlet rose to indicate that he had heard enough, eyes flicking to the mutant as its voice died instantly. No matter how far it fled, no matter how well it hid, that red-banded freak of nature was under his control now. No, that was not the issue here. What disturbed him, and it disturbed him greatly, was the fact that a troop of his finest ninjas were outwitted by a single, bloody _turtle!_

'… _No, not disturbing…'_ His mind corrected itself. _'…Embarrassing! Humiliating…!'_

That thing had been standing on its last legs, beaten and electrocuted to within an inch of its life, and his troops had still _**FAILED!**_

Seeking some form of strength, fingers tightened blindly around the item nestled safely in his lap. Though its' smooth sheen did nothing in particular to help, its mere presence helped to sooth his inner fury.

"I am not interested in your excuses, Xever. Leave."

As his voice ricocheted off the high walls, low and imposing as it was, the mutant scrambled in its eagerness to obey, backpedalling towards the doors that lead out onto the streets–!

"Don't return," he added, "until you have captured the turtle."

Xever paused at the doorway, almost as if he wished to say something; but no sound left his lips, and the mutant slipped away without further ado. Alone at last, the Shredder's attention switched back to the object at hand. On the surface it appeared to be nothing more than a glass sphere, comparable to that of a fortune teller's crystal ball; but he knew better than to be deceived by appearances – and he couldn't wait to test it out. As one of three gifts presented to him, given upon the acceptance of an unusual proposition, the Shredder couldn't help but let his smirk widen into something more sickening. Let the consequences of said acceptance be damned.

The Orb, the Collar, and the Modified Gauntlet, they were the key to achieving the only thing that truly mattered; the unequivocal, irrevocable demise of one Hamato Yoshi and his clan of freakish turtles. Eyes sparked with sardonic pleasure. It wouldn't be long now…

It was only a matter of time.

***TMNT***

Kitchenware hit the counter without ceremony. Plates stacked themselves, grinding as they slid into place. Glasses toppled and rolled. The jug shattered on impact, shards flying every which way as the water it held cascaded; but those were insignificant details. With his heart and mind racing simultaneously, Rockwell braced his quaking frame, panting like a dog. Primal fear hung heavy, proverbial claws dragging under his skin. That mutagen fuelled, inner _animal_ roared from within its cage, fighting to be heard. It wanted to cower in a shadowy corner. No, scratch that. It wanted to run screaming blue bloody murder!

But he couldn't give in to it.

Bowing low, he let his forehead rest upon the counter, eyes fixated on the dullish grey of the concrete below. Fear could only be expelled with an iron will of calm, so he forced himself to concentrate…One Shuddering breath in…One shuddering breath out. Again, and again; count them now.

'… _One…Two…Three…That's it now…'_ Air whistled between gritted teeth with every strenuous breath. _'…Nice and slow…Take back control…You're not an animal, Rockwell…Say it…'_

"…I'm not–" He gulped once, twice, three times! "–an animal…"

'… _Again…'_

"…I'm not an animal." It barely brushed his ear drums.

'… _Didn't quite catch that. Speak up, old chum…'_

"I'm not an animal." His hand smacked the counter, splashing the expanding pool of water. "I'm _not!_ " He repeated, almost snarling. "An _animal!"_

'… _That's right…So who are you, then…?'_

"Dr. Tyler Rockwell." He answered with conviction, "Neurologist. Scientist. _Human!_ "

'… _Exactly…'_

 _Neurologist, scientist, human_ ; those three words began to chant inside his own head, becoming a shield against the inner animal, driving it back until it was suppressed once more. _Calm, logical, humane_ ; he had won the war this time, could feel the shift in his mind and sagged with blessed relief. Dry chuckles escaped him as a damp hand dragged over his face; he was–!

 ***SMASH!***

What was that? Eyes bugged as his head shot up, darting to the doorway as he suddenly remembered what had triggered his episode in the first place – allowing that mortifying fact to fester alongside the dreaded reality of his situation. It had taken weeks to tame the mutagen in Slash's mind. It was the single most horrendous thing that Rockwell had ever had to endure, and the rewards far outweighed anything he had ever achieved before.

But now…?

No matter how much he pretended otherwise, a muffled 'oomph!' echoed down the corridor, followed by a slumping thud that made him inwardly shudder. Although he knew he should intervene, the coward within him overruled, forcing him to his knees instead. No matter how guilty he felt, he didn't have the inner strength to combat that monster again – he had to protect his own sanity! But then he had a terrifying thought. He had left Raphael alone with him, the biggest catalyst of them all! If he didn't get up and _do something,_ then he could lose his friend to the mutagen forever!

Palms smacked either side of his head; no, No, _NO!_ He had no way of contacting the turtles, and he couldn't face his worst nightmare. Not alone! _Not again!_

.

..

…

…Or could he…?

***TMNT***

Slash winced as the smaller turtle slumped, his shell hitting the floor with a thud. Thanks to the bizarre cocktail of adrenaline and sheer panic coursing through his veins, he had swung just a little bit too hard, knocking the other out cold. But then again, what other choice did he have? He could hardly stand by and allow his best bud to run head-long into a kamikaze mission – not alone anyway. Squatting beside the mass of tangled limbs, Slash cocked his head in contemplation. Stubborn little fool, why'd he have to make this so hard?

'… _Because he's Raphael, that's_ _ **why**_ _...!'_ A whimsical smile tugged at the edges of his beak. _'…Yes, yes he is…'_

"C'mon buddy." He breathed, letting fondness seep into his gravelly tone. "Let's try this again."

Gathering up the smaller turtle, Slash whirled to his feet in a hurry. With Rockwell's negative reaction just moments prior, the last thing he needed was to give that paranoid mutant another reason to freak out. If given half the chance, Rockwell would blame this entire situation on the mutagen, claiming that Raphael's presence, his _former owner's_ presence, had sent him mad.

Irises dimmed at the very idea, lingering on the blank features half nestled against his plastron. If only they could understand; Raphael was his brother, his best friend, his _everything!_ He was the one reason he fought tooth and nail to survive in the first place, waiting for this very chance! To lose him now was unthinkable, and if Rockwell, or anyone else for that matter, _dared_ to jeopardize that–!

"…S-Slash?!"

'… _Speak of the devil…'_

Slash inwardly huffed; the other had crept up behind him! He should've known that Rockwell wouldn't have gone far. That nosy little whelp probably had his ear pressed up against the wall, just waiting for something to kick off!

"I-I thought I heard a-a-a–!" That squeaky pitch screeched to a halt, confusion dampening his frantic mutterings. "…Why are you facing the wall…?"

'… _So he can't see Raphael then…'_

Resigning himself to the inevitable confrontation, Slash slowly turned one-eighty. As his massive shell swung to one side, all was revealed in a matter of seconds. While Rockwell became the epitome of pure shock, questions flying from his lips in a haggard, gibberish blur; Slash became the façade of calm, keeping his features carefully neutral. He waited patiently until all the noise had died down, and then he explained with just two simple words…

"He fainted."

"Fainted?" the other echoed weakly, eyes bouncing back and forth between him and the bundle in his arms.

"Blood must've rushed to his head." Slash shrugged noncommittally, the movement short and jerky. "Nothing a little rest won't cure."

Rockwell nodded as if he believed him, but edged towards him in a jittery manner that suggested otherwise, setting his teeth on edge. The other reeked of nervous energy, and was that a hint of fear he could detect…?

"…I should check him over."

Mutagen irises sparked, quietly defiant. If Rockwell started fussing then he'd never get rid of him, and if Raphael awoke under the primate's care...

"Back off, Rockwell!" A warning growl simmered as digits tightened their hold, pulling his brother closer to his chest.

"Okay, Slash…Okay…" Rockwell murmured under his breath, hands held in a surrendering pose. "…If you lay him back down…then we can take care of him together. You know you can trust me and–!"

'… _Trust! HA…!'_

Slash had to tune him out by that point. It was almost as if Rockwell was trying to pacify a cornered maniac with his patronising, _manipulative,_ councillor voice _._ On some level he knew the primate was only trying to help, but all his actions did was stoke his mounting ire. They were supposed to be passed this crap! They were supposed to be a team!

'… _Well screw you, Rockwell. I'm in control…!'_

To prove the point, Slash forced himself to calm down, releasing the tension in his body so that he could strategise. He was never going to keep Rockwell on side if the other was scared of him, and he knew that if he wanted Raphael's stay to become permanent, then he needed to get his team on board, and quickly.

"Look." Slash lowered his tone till it thrummed. "The last thing he needs is to feel crowded when he wakes, that's all. Just lemme stay with him, while you get everything ready."

Rockwell still reeked of fear induced uncertainty, silently questioning him; but Slash knew just how to change that. "You'll get to study the collar…"

" _Really!_ "

Slash struggled to maintain his composure as the primate morphed before his very eyes, warping into some kind of deranged, quaking bundle of barely restrained glee. "But! But you said he's not a guinea pig!"

"Forget what I said." Slash answered. "We have to get it offa him – by any means necessary!"

Needing no further prompting, Rockwell flew down the corridor in a whirlwind of excited mutterings. Relief splashed over his features as he watched him go, adjusting the weight in his arms. Possible scenarios and outcomes reeling in his mind, but as he lumbered towards the room they had been in not ten minutes prior, Slash knew that there was only one way to force his brother in line.

***TMNT***

Rough tapping landed on his left cheek. _Tap_. It wasn't enough to hurt him. _Tap_. But it was enough to irritate him. _Tap_. The darkness it disturbed was numbing and peaceful. _Tap_. He didn't wanna leave it. _Tap_. Didn't want to think. _Tap_. He just wanted to rest his aching body. _Tap_. Was that too much to ask for? _Tap_. Of course it was! _Tap!_

'… _Quit it…!'_

Vocals attempted to voice his anger, but all that escaped was a stunted groan. Hands tried to swipe at the invasive touch, but they were stuck, stretched painfully behind his carapace. _What the–?_

"…That's it Raphael, wake up now…"

Muscles flexed automatically in response. Nerve-endings set off alarming missives. Foreign warmth was locked around his right bicep, keeping his slumping form awkwardly upright. Wrists were wrapped in restraints to the point where blood circulation had been compromised, fingers numbing under the biting pressure. Pins and needles wracked crumpled legs and feet, and every part of him ached. But none of those painful sensations could hold a candle to the agonising migraine that pulverised his lolling skull.

"…C'mon! We need to talk…"

Whatever held him in place began to shake him none to gently. Once! Twice! _Three times!_ Eyelids flew wide under the assault, only to squeeze shut in protest. Brimming tears blinded him, or was it the powerful fluorescent light that left him blinking; _squinting!_ Maybe it was a combination of both? Or the fact that his head had become nothing more than a useless, throbbing dead weight? Dammit who _cares!_

"Don't gimme that look." That foreign warmth cupped the side of his face, tilting his unresisting head upwards. "You brought this on yourself."

'… _That voice…?'_

"You just couldn't stay put, could ya?" It rumbled bitterly, grating on sensitive ear drums. "Even after I saved your life, you just can't get them out of your head, 'cause they always come first. Don't they?!"

"They're in here–!"

Something poked him right between the eyes.

"–And _here–!_ "

Then jabbed at his plastron, right above his racing heart.

"–Am I right, _brother?!_ "

'… _What are you…talking about…?'_

"Am I right?!"

That voice demanded to know, but Raph was thoroughly confused. He shook his head in a bid to clear the sleep induced fog that blanketed his mind, to dispel the throbbing migraine long enough to _think!_ Or at least he tried to, but his efforts were more like negative, fumbling twitches, jerking minutely within the controlling warmth that only tightened in warning. A groan swirled in his mouth, unable to break free.

"Don't try to deny it, I know you all too well." That voice murmured gently, suddenly soothing. "But you're here now, _safe_ and _sound_..."

Emerald slithered through meagre cracks, coming face to face with a blurred, monstrous silhouette; a silhouette he recognised all too easily.

"…And I'll make sure it stays that way. Whatever it takes."

'… _SLASH…!'_

Panic spiked higher and higher as memories stampeded through his splitting headache. A frustrated cry gurgled beyond lips that he couldn't pry open! Wrists wriggled within binds that refused to give way! Squirming and squirming but getting nowhere fast…

"Don't upset yourself, hothead. Don't struggle." Hands gripped his shoulders and carapace, _hard!_ "Stop it! I said _**Stop!**_ "

' _No! No! No! NO! NO!'_ The larger turtle was in his face, a taunting nightmare. _'NOT AGAIN!'_

"You're not leaving!" The other was quickly losing his patience. "So just _quit it_ and _listen!_ "

*WHAM!*

A strike of that magnitude should have knocked the wind clean out of him, but with his mouth taped shut, the trapped air ping-ponged instead, torturing his withered lungs from within. As minute convulsions wracked his shell-shocked frame, Slash released his grip, and the ground rushed up to meet him.

'… _urgh…'_

Though half dazed, oxygen deprived, and collapsed on one side – Raph refused point-blank to give up. Lethargic hands twisted sluggishly under his command, blindly seeking some weak point to exploit. Somewhere above him, cruel laughter softly lingered, rippling down his spine.

"Those restraints came straight from Dimension X, designed to keep monsters like Leatherhead in line. I know you're strong, Raphael, a warrior through and through. But you're still _small!_ You can't break them."

Raph stilled at those words, silently seething, eyes ablaze with emerald fire; but Slash merely scoffed as he shuffled into his line of sight, crouched before him.

"Even if you could, there's nowhere to go. I blocked the only exit. There are no windows, and the air vents are too small to climb through…" A jagged beak curved with amusement. "…Even for you."

Slash was blatantly goading him, trying to rile him up; but Raph's attention was entrenched by more pressing matters. No windows or doors? No way out! He refused to believe it, despite the shred of doubt that managed to burrow its way in, becoming more persistent with every passing second. After all, he saw that chaotic barricade with his own eyes…

'… _What if there really is no way out…?!'_

 _No!_ Raph stamped down the doubt with force. Don't fall for his mind games! Slash wouldn't trap himself down here permanently. There has to be _someway–!_

"I can see you're confused, so let me enlighten ya." Slash lowered one hand so Raph could clearly see the object resting in the palm of his hand. "Do you know what this is?"

A peeved, impatient grunt forced its way out. Raph had absolutely no idea what that thing was, even if he could hazard a guess as to who its creator was. The silvery sheen, smooth design and hexagonal symbols were all dead giveaways. But he didn't care about any of that. He just wanted out!

"Leatherhead swiped a couple of these on his travels, and Rockwell – the guy's a genius! It took a bit of work, but he was able to disconnect them from their network and–"

'… _I don't care, Slash! Just lemme go…!'_

"–he made them untraceable. It's the only way in or out. This place is completely secure."

'… _Wait! What…!'_

"Lemme show you."

Clicking the hexagonal button, Slash spun sideways as he flung the object. Stopping mid flight, it hovered, cracking like an egg, and Raph couldn't contain his mortification as the object widened in triangular formation, shrouding the room in pink and purplish hues. His mind was utterly blown!

'… _Slash has a_ _ **KRAANG PORTAL**_ _…!?'_

 _The Shell!_ Struggles intensified, yells of protest were muffled but no less desperate; no way was he going through _THERE!_ They could end up _ANYWHERE!_

"Don't do that." Slash grumbled, settling one hand on the edge of his carapace, effectively pinning him in place. "I need ya to pay attention. Take a look."

'… _Why…?'_

Despite being exhausted, hurt, and extremely short fused; Raph craned his neck to see what Slash found so important. On the other side of the Kraang Portal, tainted by the pinkish glow, action figures were lost amongst the mess of takeout boxes casually strewn across the floor. Posters brightened the dreary walls; but it was the customised bed that gave the location away. He'd never forget that bed! Donnie had spent hours turning their brother's drawing into a realistic design, and had recruited himself and Leo to help scavenge the parts required. Then he somehow managed to rope them into helping him build the damn thing! Shaping, sanding, drilling, screwing and waxing; it took all three of them endless hours to get it ready just in time for their 10th Happy Mutation Day. And then there was the grand unveiling. He had never seen his brother that excited before, and for Mikey that really was saying something.

'… _Mikey…!'_

It was almost as if he was lying prone in his little brothers' doorway…

"You have no idea." Slash breathed, appearing thoughtful as his gaze lingered on the temporary portal, "How many times I have dreamed of ending them. It would be so easy…"

Darting fearfully from the bedroom, to Slash, then back again; emerald grew impossibly wide. Mikey was in there, a mere lump snoring beneath his duvet, oblivious to the danger he was in. Above him, Slash shifted his stance, a starved predator locking in on its prey. Flecks of bloodlust swirled in mutagen green, and all Raph could see was his baby bro plastered on the sidewalk, his worst nightmare come to pass–!

'… _NO…!'_

Kicking out in sheer desperation, he aimed for the sensitive spot between plastron and carapace, but before he could land a hit, Slash swung back, catching his foot and slamming it into the ground. Seething emerald locked onto ferocious mutagen green, both sides unwilling to back down; but before anything else could be traded, a particularly loud snore bounced within the room, grasping their undivided attention. On the other side of the portal, the Mikey-sized lump shuffled beneath the blanket. An arm stretched high, and a foot poked out.

"…I think I've proven my point…"

But Raph couldn't hear Slash. Eyes glazed white against his will, zoning in on light green skin. Invisible talons slowly wrapped around his pulsating jugular. Harrowing coldness descended, whispering in his mind…

'… _Look them in the eye and kill them. You know you want to. Look them in the eye, Raphael! Look them in the eye! Kill them! KILL–!'_

Eyelids flickered under the sadistic assault, body seizing as his wrangled cries _roared._ The outside world no longer existed. Nothing was spared in that benumbing prison. Every ounce of energy, every last scrap of will-power, absolute everything, _everything_ surged inwards, scrambling mindlessly in their efforts to keep that frigid detachment at bay. Somewhere beyond the mind war, beyond his _sanity_ , startled exclamations broke through, and the pinkish hue swiftly vanished; but those little details were lost on him as the Shredder's voice boomed, a gong inside his skull…

' _I ordered you to KILL THEM–!'_

*Smack!* _*Smack!*_ ***SMACK!***

'… _h-h-h-huh…?'_

"How could I be so stupid?! _Raphael!_ " Another round of frantic smacking tapped his cheek, "C'mon Hothead–!"

*Smack!* _*Smack!*_ ***SMACK!***

"– _Fight it!_ "

And just like that, with no logical explanation; it faded away.

Whether it was the urgent voice that did it or the sharp stinging resonating through his cheek, Raph hardly cared. It was _over_ , and he was utterly spent, both mind and body, sprawled haphazardly on the unforgiving concrete. One arm slithered round the back of his neck while another cradled the bend of his knees, lifting him bodily into warmth that soothed his quaking frame. The gag was wrenched from trembling lips, allowing him to gulp down precious air; curling into that makeshift radiator. He didn't care how weak he looked in that moment, or where that delicious heat emanated from. He was frozen solid, and it was so _warm!_

"You with me Hothead…?"

Raph couldn't deny the raw, underlining panic that tinged that gravelly baritone – or the owner of said voice. With his face still pressed into that addictive heat, he allowed himself to crack open one eyelid, the glazed pupil swivelling upwards to meet worried mutagen green.

"…Say something."

Dammit Slash, say what exactly?! That he didn't know what to do? Or even where to begin? That this collar, this thing, _scared_ him! That if he lost this fight to the Shredder, then he would lose his _father_ ; his _brothers!_ Everything that meant _anything_ to him! And even worse, instead of doing something pro-active, he had been captured by his ex pet instead, this warped creation that wanted nothing more than to destroy his family also. He knew he was a trouble-seeker. The reckless, emotional, brute – only good when it came down to a fight. But how had it come to this?! Huddled on his pet's lap. Hands quite literally tied. Too weak to move let alone escape?!

How had he screwed up so badly?!

Twinges of humiliation cut him to the quick, but the warmth enveloping him dulled the distress somewhat. He couldn't face reality; not yet. He _needed_ this, not that he'd ever admit to such a thing. With his face pressed up against the strong plastron, with his eyes firmly closed, he could almost imagine it to be his brothers comforting him back home, as if he were sick in bed and nothing more. He could almost feel his fathers' soothing hand upon his sweaty forehead, the faint scent of sandalwood invading his senses. Their faint voices chorused in his mind, murmurs of concern.

Eyes squeezed tighter still; he missed them so much it hurt…

"Fine then." Slash grumbled grimly, shattering the peaceful illusion. " _I'll_ talk. _You_ listen."

'… _Argh…What now…?'_

"Here's the deal." The larger turtle paused, inhaling deeply. "You stay here and follow my lead, and in return…" He stalled again, jaw locking in place. "I promise not to harm your _precious–!_ "

Teeth ground together.

"– _Little–!_ "

Till they cracked.

"– _Family!_ "

Beyond furrowed eye ridges, as understanding slowly dawned, Raph had to wrestled down the instinctive, burning urge to pummel the larger turtle for daring to threaten his family, and loathed himself even more for his weakness. He had been backed into a corner; not once now, but twice! _TWICE!_ In one blasted day! First the Shredder with his sick collar, and now this – this _twisted compliance!_ He only prayed that his brothers stayed away long enough for him to correct this mother of all screw-ups. It was the only thing that kept him sane; knowing that they were all safe…

"I'll take your silence as a yes."

A feral growl simmered lowly in his parched throat. He despised this with every fibre of his being – the virtual leash was worse than the binds that bound his hands together; was worse than any prison. Prisons had high walls, iron bars and rules that made sense. This – this was just _messed up!_ If he'd had any modicum of freedom before; forget it! It was long gone now.

"I'll untie you now. C'mon! Up we get."

Slash hauled them to their feet, keeping a firm grip until gelatine legs managed to stay standing. Then the larger turtle lumbered round to his back, and Raph struggled to stay calm as massive fingers fumbled with the binds. It stung like Shell, but that was not the issue. Turning your back on an enemy was a big no, no; just one more thing to add to that ever mounting pile of screw ups.

If only Master Splinter could see him now…

'… _If he can be bothered…'_ His inner demon spat maliciously, _'…Do you really think he'd waste his time looking for_ you _, Sai Wielder…? Do you…?'_

'… _I…I don't want him to…'_

'… _But you and I both know that that's not the __ _ **point**_ __! Is it…'_ It whispered lowly, dogging at him. _'…So let's try again. Do you think he'd come looking for you,_ Sai Wielder? _…Come now…be honest…Just this once…'_

'… _I-I…'_

The slight drooping of his shoulders was the only outward indication of his troubling thoughts, easily masked among the unravelling events. What he once held with fierce pride now only made him feel confused…tainted…and unworthy of the name Hamato… The truth of it shone brightly in gleaming emerald, until he blinked it away. No matter what turmoil plagued his soul, no way would he give anyone the satisfaction of actually seeing it!

"I'm gonna have to set a couple of ground rules." Slash grumbled from beyond his peripheral. "First: you tell no-one about this deal between us – as far as everyone else is concerned, you want to stay here. Second: Nothing happens without my say so, and you stay by my side at all times – unless I tell you otherwise. And third: You don't contact your family – _ever!_ No meetings, no home visits, no letters or phone calls–!"

"–But I have to warn them about the Shredder!" Raph exclaimed, twisting his neck to face the other.

"No you don't." Slash countered derisively. "I'm sure they'll figure it _out!_ "

With a final tug, blood smeared binds finally fell away, and Raph stumbled to the back wall, gaining some distance between them; _examining_ the damage done to his stinging wrists. Due to his escape attempts, they had slashed through his customised dark-brown gauze, cutting him deep. What was that stuff made of?!

"There will be no contact." Slash reiterated stoically, "Understand!"

It wasn't a request, but a command, and Raph sneered back defiantly, eyes briefly flicking to the larger turtles' belt. Was the Kraang Portal stashed in there? Most likely. Maybe he could distract the other long enough to swipe it and–!

"Don't even think it, Raphael." Slash growled, glowering darkly. "You're barely standing – and you need to save your strength for what comes next. I knew you wouldn't wanna wait."

"Wait?" Raph echoed, unable to mask his confusion. "For what?"

A quirk tilted the corner of a jagged beak. Mutagen green lit up.

"Rockwell's setting it all up. C'mon!" Slash gestured eagerly towards the door, though frowned when Raph didn't move right away. "C'mon!" He practically whined. "We're getting that collar offa ya!"

Despite everything traded between them, a slither of hope dared to bloom in his chest, and he took a couple of cautious steps forward. Slash instantly beamed, hurrying him up with wild arm gestures until he had ushered him through the doorway, and then buzzed with excitement that could rival Mikey's.

'… _Mikey…!'_ The hope in his chest sunk like a heavy stone. _'…Don't be fooled, Raph. Never let your guard down. Slash will always be your enemy. Remember that…'_

Dammit Fearless, Raph inwardly scoffed; but this time it didn't hold half the anger it normally would. Even though he knew it wasn't his real brother Leonardo, that inner voice was surprisingly comforting – in its own weird way.

"Before we go in there." Slash grabbed his arm, snagging his attention. "If anyone asks about the corridor; tell them you fainted, okay?"

Raph nodded at the larger turtle, and the other relinquished his grip. But beneath the falsified civility, only one thought rang clear.

'… _Slash will always be your enemy…'_

***TMNT***

As a large, mutated, freak of nature, Leatherhead only had one cemented rule; trust your gut. It had lead to a very paranoid, very lonely existence, but it had saved his life on many occasions, and in a world where survival was paramount, where everyone was out to get you; surviving was all that mattered.

And right now his gut was hollering.

It had begun the night before, when he and Pigeon Pete had returned from a late mutagen run, only to find Slash watching over a new arrival. It wasn't the identity of the new arrival that had made him wary, though he was intrigued to discover how Michelangelo's red-banded brother had ended up in their midsts. No, that wasn't it at all. It was Slash's demeanour. Though he couldn't put his claw on it, mostly due his need to pass out, there was just something, off about him. Then Slash turned to address them, and in that brief moment, Leatherhead could have sworn that he had seen a flash of mutagen green swirling amongst the navy. But his sleep-addled brain dismissed it, and with a grumbled g'night; he had gone to bed.

The following morning, he woke up to the faint whiff of fear, making his scales stand to immediate attention. As he went to investigate, expecting the worst as he crept towards the main living quarters, he was baffled when he came across Rockwell. The primate was a whizzing blur, darting back and forth, back and forth. If he had been pacing instead of floating, his efforts would have worn a hole through the concrete. Sidling ever closer, Leatherhead blundered through an array of tools that were randomly scattered across the floor, ranging from simple knives, screwdrivers and hammers to – were those _power tools?_ And what were in those vials _?!_

'… _And why...is there a table…with restraints…?!'_

He **HATED** restraints!

Unable to repress a rankling hiss, he turned back to Rockwell who was muttering away, bypassing him again and again. His hearing caught a couple of snippets, but it only served to heighten his concern.

"…If anything happens…Never forgive myself…can't believe...played me…"

Enough was enough. Leatherhead sidestepped, miraculously avoiding everything on the floor as he stood directly in his path; _waiting._ Following the length of the invisible, well-worn path, Rockwell spun one-eighty, then headed straight for him. Leatherhead was sure that the primate would stop in time to avoid a collision, but that was not the case, and the jittery telepath bounced off of his brick-like frame.

"I'm so sorry, Leatherhead!" Rockwell exclaimed, blinking rapidly up at him. "I-I-I didn't see you there!"

'… _He didn't…see me…?'_

 _Really?!_ He didn't see the gigantic, eight foot, mutated alligator standing less than a couple of paces away?! An eye ridge rose incredulously. What on earth had consumed Rockwell to the point where he lost grip on his very surroundings?

"My friend…" He just had to know. "…What is wrong?"

'… _What have I missed…?'_

But instead of answering, Rockwell threw out his own question. "Did you know we have guest?"

"Michelangelo…" Leatherhead replied, nodding slowly. "…is very fond…of him…"

'… _But what does that have to do with–?'_

"…Michelangelo…" Rockwell breathed, puzzled for just a moment, "Isn't he, one of the brothers?"

Leatherhead bobbed his head again. "…Do you want me…to call him…?"

"Call him!" Rockwell repeated, suddenly wide-eyed and slack jawed. "You can _call him?!_ Does Slash know?!"

Leatherhead cocked his head to one side, slightly perturbed. "…No…"

Had he done something wrong? It seemed like it, judging by Rockwell's flabberghasted expression. Was it one of their rules, perhaps, to have no phones? No outside contact? The alligator's face became resolute, steeling himself for the inevitable fallout. If that was the case, if he had to choose between staying put and keeping a hold of his phone – courtesy of Donatello, who had caved under Michelangelo's relentless badgering; then he'd pick the phone any day of the week. Friends were scarce, and the calls shared between him and Michelangelo meant more to him then words could ever say. He'd never give that up. Never!

"I need you to do me a favour, Leatherhead, and keep it that way." Rockwell interrupted his musings, hushed, rushed and urgent, "Slash is not himself, and Raphael–!"

Just then a door creaked open from down the hallway, stalling Rockwell's tirade, and…was his hands shaking? Leatherhead couldn't hide his shock. When he had first met the primate, he was full of life, confidant; nothing seemed to faze him. To see him like this now, so shaken, almost withdrawn, was disturbing to say the least. And that still didn't explain the weapons, chemicals and tools that lined the floor, or the table heavily drenched in restraints.

All he knew was that his gut was squirming.

"I've got everything prepared, Slash." Rockwell said without preamble; his voice scarily meek. "Raphael, if you wish to proceed, I need you up on the table."

Michelangelo's brother did as he was told, with Slash hot on his heels, settling along one edge as Rockwell joined them on the other. Leatherhead remained where he was, stunned by the overwhelming stench of fear-infused tension.

'… _What is going on…?!'_

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" Rockwell asked. "You've been through much already and–!"

"I can handle it, Rockwell." The red-banded turtle snapped. "Just get it off!"

'… _Get what off…?!'_

Rockwell nodded his acceptance, adams apple bobbing with every strenuous gulp.

"Then I need you to remove your bandana and lie down for me – head this end… That's it… Slash, help me to strap him down. We need to keep him as still as possible…Raphael, I have to be blunt. This is going to hurt; a lot. I'll talk you through everything I do, and after each round, I'll ask if you can keep going. I'll need an answer from you before I move onto anything else. Do you understand?"

Leatherhead could hardly believe what he was hearing, but morbid curiosity forced his legs to move till he was standing at the foot of the table. Slash was busy securing the restraints, locking them over every limb imaginable. Rockwell was preparing for the first 'round', whatever that meant, while the red-banded turtle lay prone between the two, willingly subjecting himself to this madness.

"Leatherhead!" Slash suddenly barked. "You helping me ground him or what?"

'… _Ground him…?'_

As confused irises locked with those of the larger turtle, Leatherhead found himself staring down crazed mutagen green instead of friendly navy, and had to fight down the instinctive urge to hiss across the table. Even though he had never seen Slash succumb to the mutagens maddening effects, he had seen it warp others until all that remained was primitive, blinding rage. Although he couldn't begin to fathom how such a drastic change had occurred in less than twelve hours; he now understood Rockwell's fear.

"What are you staring at?" Slash asked; eye ridges furrowed. "Rockwell brought you up to speed, right?!"

And though it was a blatant lie, Leatherhead found himself nodding anyway. Until he had all the facts, he needed to tread these waters so very carefully. Across the way, Slash smirked, clapping his scaly shoulder in comradeship. Beyond that, Rockwell flashed him a small smile of gratitude, but Leatherhead was not appeased, not by a long shot.

And as he quietly obeyed Rockwell's next order, pinning dark green ankles to the table; as he watched Slash take a similar position to his own, one mammoth-sized hand pinning Raphael's head – cheek down – exposing his neck for all to see; another piece of the puzzle crash landed with resounding force.

Two red lights pulsated mockingly against a smooth black band, a smooth black band that reignited suppressed memories from long ago. The mutagen triggering, insomnia-inducing memories of a time best left buried; where never-ending, stifling darkness was unspoken law, only broken by cries of maddening despair. A time when only one story held enough fear to dare defy that darkness, and spread like whispered wildfire throughout the prison block. _Something worse_. They hissed. _Don't let it catch you_.

A roaring power tool snapped him out of his trance, lowering on Rockwell's telepathic command. Calf muscles tensed beneath his touch, and he held on for dear life. If he could spare Michelangelo's brother just the tiniest amount of pain; then so be it. But behind his stoic features, he prayed that those chilling whispers were nothing more than fictitious rumours borne from insanity.

"Round one." Rockwell announced, trepidation seeping through his detached doctors tone; trickles of sweat beading down his face. "Axle grinder."

***TMNT***

Warring steel ground against unbreakable glass, both squealing their defiance; both refusing to submit. Sparks flew every which way, until the steel eventually caved, shattering into a million, ricocheting shards. Not one piece hit his sweat-drenched, collapsed frame, and some small part of him knew that _that_ was physically impossible; but it was of no concern to him – let the universe deal with that anomaly! He was lost, adrift, floating in a condemning haze; trapped in a cycle of self–inflicted torture.

"…a-again…" Was that his voice? "…I can go…a-again…"

Something else powered up, not that _that_ mattered. He couldn't identify it. What difference would it make if he could?! None, that's what! It was just another weapon playing its sadistic part, just one more round; _stealing_ just that little bit more. His strength. His iron-will. Both were crumbling under the continuous onslaught. But he couldn't quit, not now.

'… _wait a minute…why was that…why couldn't he quit…?!'_

"...Rou–" The voices were fading in and out. Who was that?! "–rty three…"

Damn that fog! That thought-robbing, cell-numbing, moronic fog! It had somehow coerced his mind into a useless pile of mush! Only one clinical fact remained; he needed to endure. He needed to keep on fighting – to repeat those four little words when asked. He had to hang on as long as possible, to survive this unbearable torment. A _necessity!_ He just couldn't remember _why?!_

"…cha….aw…"

Squeal-pitched grinding jarred his hearing once more. Electricity surged to life in retaliation, _white hot_ and _blinding!_ It skipped along with wicked intent, liquefied fire dancing up his veins! He was bending, contorting, _buckling_ under its ruthless touch – but nothing, absolutely _nothing_ could compare to the hysterical, bloodcurdling screams that bounced off the walls. The source couldn't have been more than a couple of paces away, bellowing its core misery for the whole world to hear; crying out in soul-wringing, purified agony. Never had he heard such a wretched sound; and it was close, so _painfully_ close.

Was someone else suffering as he was?

Was there another…?

'… _no…'_ A weak little voice supplied _'…that don't…make sense…'_

"Hold him steady!" A shrill voice broke through the mutilating haze, sharp and penetrating. "You have to _hold him still!_ "

Gigantic hands tightened their hold, two sets at least, and he could _feel them pressing down!_ His ankles, his shoulders; the side of his _bloody head!_

'… _It's me…'_

And in that second, it was like someone had flicked on a light switch – dragging him back _again!_ Lungs ripped raw from the inside out, shrivelling up till his chest could no longer heave. Charred limbs rattled mindlessly in a bid to shake off those unrelenting binds, twisting and jerking and _squirming_ but unable to break free!

And then the grinding noise died down. The excruciating pain rescinded. That all too familiar, unforgiving, blazing spike began to simmer down to bearable levels. Spent limbs flopped once more. Burnt flesh cooled against the soothing, metallic surface beneath him.

And then the cycle began again…

…Or at least it should have…

'… _what's goin' on…?!'_

"...S'not–!" Those voices were back again, frustratingly broken. "…He ca-!…State…"

'… _wha…wha's…'appening…?!'_

"…M'sorry…S'not…"

The hands that pinned him down released their hold. The binds that imprisoned him slipped away one by one. His body writhed weakly in response – unable to keep still. The world beyond was shifting, changing, up-righting itself. Something was hauling him up, but his brain was fighting, combating the dampening fog. Slowly it ticked, re-aligning itself piece by ragged piece; but the world wouldn't wait. It kept gently swaying; left-to-right, and back again, left-to-right, and back again. His body reeled in the aftermath, surrendering to that gentle sway; but it didn't matter anymore! His brain suddenly kicked itself into high gear.

The collar?! Were they successful?! Is it off?!

'… _Someone!…Anyone!…Answer me?!'_

"…Shhh…"

'… _IS IT Off…?!'_

"…I gotcha, hothead…"

'… _TELL ME IT'S OFF…!'_

"…I gotcha…"

'… _TELL ME IT'S OFF OR TAKE ME BACK…! I can go again…but I can't live with it!…I c-can't…!'_

"…You need to…rest now…"

'… _n-n-no…don't do this…tell me it's off…tell me…p-please…'_

Warm oblivion was his only answer; enticing, smothering. Needing no further prompting,his body shut down all too eagerly, and his mind had little choice but to follow suit, having just enough time for one last, desperate plea…

'… _t-t-tell… me-e-e-e…'_

***TMNT***

Unadulterated despair churned in the depths of his gut. Half-digested lumps of toast swirled in nauseating protest; but Slash remained rooted in place, huddled in the dark. Sheer force of will kept the acidic bile down, and besides, that was the least of his problems. With his spiked shell scraping awkwardly at the foot of the wall, legs bent before him, red bandana clamped in a freshly bandaged, iron fist; he could do nothing but let his empty gaze fall across the way. The guilt-fermented horror that plagued him in that moment; he couldn't even begin to describe it. All he knew was that it hounded him…then hounded him some more…with only one question whirling round and round…

'… _What have we done…?'_

No, correction: what had _he_ done?! He; and he alone, had led them to this. He had charged in head-first, thinking – _quite stupidly_ , that brute strength alone would be enough to break the collar's vice. But he was wrong.

" _He's not invincible, Slash!"_

So horrifically wrong!

" _He can't take this!"_

And after forty three, jarring rounds.

" _Look at the state of him! We can't possibly continue!"_

The consequences were devastating…

" _I'm sorry, my friend. I truly am."_

…and the remnants of destruction still tingled through his wrapped palms.

" _Slash…Don't shut me out. He needs medical attention. Slash?! SLASH!"_

Rockwell…Damn you and your dogging persistence. Damn you and that cursed ability to telepathically unlock doors! Damn you for bulldozing in, _uninvited,_ with that floating _whirlwind_ of medical supplies! Damn you for fixing Raphael in ways he never could, and then taking the time to re-bandage his own, scorched hands. For putting up with the verbal abuse. For offering to stay. For being a true friend in his darkest hour.

Damn you, Rockwell…Just…Just damn you…

His head fell back, thudding lightly against the concrete. Heavy-lidded, dilated pupils swivelled upwards.

" _That's quite alright. I humbly accept both your gratitude, and your apology. Now, would you like me to stay…?"_

A derisive snort wisped through his jagged beak. He had declined, obviously, and Rockwell departed without a single murmur of protest, leaving him alone with his self-deprecating thoughts.

" _I'll be down the hallway if you need me."_

So here he sat, in the exact same spot, brooding. Nothing had changed, only the slow passing of time…What was the time anyway? His stomach growled loudly in response. Time to eat…? Really…? But no, he couldn't leave. His failures were spectacular enough already, without adding abandonment to the list.

"…S-Spi…k-ke-e…"

And now, beyond the exhaustion, guilt and hunger; he was hearing things. That must be it, because after all that had happened, there was no way, no way in _Shell_ that Raphael was awake, whispering to him from across the way.

"…S-S-Spi–!"

Hacking coughs reigned down, sharp albeit weak, knocking him out of his reverie. The shock of it forced his head down with a resounding snap, had him on his hands and knees, scrambling the breadth of the room in quick, panicky movements.

"Take it easy, brother!" He really was awake! "Take it easy. Slow breaths. That's it. There we go…"

Large hands gently guided the bed-ridden turtle to a more comfortable position on the bed, propping him up somewhat, and then raised a measuring beaker of water to trembling lips. With no straws to hand, the triangular pourer was the only thing on hand that could help to trickle small, controlled amounts of water into their patient's mouth. After a couple of disaster free slurps, the beaker was placed on the floor, and Slash turned back to his charge, squashing down the swelling guilt. Medical gauze criss-crossed roughly eighty percent of dark green skin, including one side of his face, rounding off at the back of his head. According to Rockwell, it wasn't fatal – second degree burns, but still. Those _blisters!_ Those _sores!_ That raw bloodied handprint marring the side of his face! _His handprint!_ It would take months for it all to heal, if not years, and they might never completely fade. He could be scarred for life, and it would be all his fault.

Don't think about it.

"How you feeling, Hothead?"

Glazing emerald shimmered brightly in the dark, despite the meds induced fatigue, and the relief was overwhelming. Nothing kept that stubborn little ass down for long. Nothing!

"…Ya need ta…"

Raphael rasped lowly.

"…quit…"

And awkwardly slow.

"…druggin' me…"

A small upturn of the lips followed his faint words, and it was all the indication Slash was searching for, to know that his friend wasn't really upset about the IV drip. A smirk graced his jagged beak in turn. Of course he noticed the needle stuck in his arm. Observant little twerp.

"…It's…" His brother continued to wheeze, refusing to surrender quietly. "…slow–ing…me…down…um…"

Confusion swept across Raphael's face, and Slash softly chuckled at the sight.

"It's supposed to." Slash said, amusement tingeing his baritone. "You need the rest, so take it easy, will ya!"

But instead of taking good advice, eye ridges furrowed further in puzzlement, ignoring him, desperately trying to focus. "…Did…it…?...Is…it…?"

Mutagen green instantaneously dulled, self loathing tearing him to shreds. He knew exactly what was being asked, and he couldn't bear to incinerate the frail modicum of hope that lingered on in his brother's eyes. He couldn't bear to be the one to tell him that all the suffering was for naught! His head ducked in both shame and cowardice. He couldn't do it! He couldn't be the one to crush that precious illusion!

"…hhhhhey…" The sedation was slurring Raphael's words, weakening his resolve. "…s'…s'okay…"

'… _What…?!'_ Slash's head shot back up, eyes widening incredulously. _'…How is this okay…?!'_

"…this…" His brother pressed, expressing fierce strength via blazing emerald. "…ain't…over…"

"Not by a long shot!" Slash affirmed, nodding fervently. "We'll cut ya loose, even if we have to storm Shredder's stronghold!"

Clutching one wrapped hand between two of his own, Slash quietly cemented that promise, their brotherhood, and bowed his head low when a feeble grip returned that gesture in kind.

But then the grip suddenly slackened within his hold, and brimming irises darted up once more.

"Raphael?"

Maybe he was asleep. He had been through a tremendous ordeal.

"Hothead?"

But–! But then why were his eyes half open, glazed completely white?! As if he were…As if he were…

" _Brother?!_ "

No. It's not possible! Rockwell said the injuries weren't fatal! Rockwell?!

"Rockwell–!"

His tongue tripped in its urgency, words uttered breathlessly, choking on despair as large digits fumbled for a pulse. _C'mon! C'mon!_

"ROCKWELL!" He bellowed towards the door. " _ROCKWELL!_ "

What was he supposed to do?! Chest compressions?! Mouth to mouth?! How do those things even work?! Forget it! No time! Smack him on the cheek. That tends to get a reaction. Yes. Smack him. _Do it now!_

"Okay little buddy, don't do this to me! Not now!" *Smack!* Smack!* Smack!* "You're a fighter, _remember!_ And you need to _fight this!_ Right now! I need you to fight this! _Right! Now–!_ "

*Smack!* Smack!* Smack!*

Where was everyone?! The one time he needed them and they were all MIA.

*Smack!* Smack!* Smack!*

Dammit where were they?!

" _ **ROCKWELL!**_ "

"Slash! What's wrong?! I-I-I–!" Rockwell stalled at the doorframe for just a split second, reading spectacles perched on the very tip of his nose, rapidly absorbing in his friend's hysterical state, towering over a bed-ridden patient that was–!

"DON'T JUST STAND THERE! _DO SOMETHING!_ "

Without a moment's hesitation, Rockwell flew to their side, shoving one of his lenses mere millimetres in front of Raphael's mouth, while two fingers pressed down on the pulse line of his jugular. Shoulder quaking breaths was the only thing heard within the oppressive silence, until Slash could no longer stand it.

"Is he?!" Rockwell didn't answer him, and Slash fumed at the back of his head. "Rockwell!"

"No he's–! See here, on my glasses? Condensation – he's breathing. It's faint, but he's still alive. His pulse is faint too. It's like he's sleeping, but…but not."

"Sleeping but not?!" Slash repeated furiously, frustration clawing to the forefront of his mind. "What does _that even mean?!_ "

"It means _he's not dying!_ " Rockwell exclaimed, just as frustrated. "It's the collar! _Look!_ "

Against his dominating nature, Slash found himself doing as instructed, and did a double take. Another light had pinged on, there was no mistaking it. Three lights now, instead of two. He could hear Rockwell scrambling somewhere beyond his peripheral, banging on about recording the time; but Slash was dumbstruck, frozen in place, seething under the collar's proverbial thumb. What twisted game was it playing now?! When was it gonna end?!

And _why_ , was his brother, glowing?

"Twelve pm! It's Twelve pm!" Rockwell babbled mindlessly. "Slash it's–!"

"–Healing…" Slash breathed, unable to comprehend, just what he was seeing.

The handprints on Raphael's shoulder blades – the ones from their first struggle against the collar's raw power – the ones that were safe enough to allow air circulation without risk of infection – the only wounds out on display – wounds that were shrivelling up before his very eyes, one inch at a time, becoming nothing more than a horrific memory.

"It's a miracle!" Rockwell marvelled, wringing his hands together.

"It's a trick!" Slash exploded. "What weapon heals its own victim?!"

"I don't know!" Rockwell replied, still awe struck by the miracle. "But we have to keep an eye on him. Make sure he stays breathing. None of us have ever encountered anything so…so…" A hand waved in a bid to find a suitable word, but came up short. "Never mind! Just–! He needs to be under constant supervision until he awakens. We need to record everything that happens! _Everything!_ "

Slash nodded slowly, numbly, settling down beside his brother, a frown marring his features. Whether it was a miracle or a trick, only one thing remained certain – it was unnerving, _unnatural_ , and he would not rest until that collar had been removed, once and for all.

***TMNT***

Deep within the spirit realm, Master Splinter had found Raphael's floating spirit, and had spent the entire morning hovering by its side, talking to him, praying for an answer, hoping beyond all hope that Raphael would hear him and reach out. But it was futile. Raphael had many talents to be proud of, but meditation was not one of them; and in the safety of the spirit realm, no spirit could force a connection upon another. It was law – a law that made his efforts entirely useless!

Yet another spirit approached, a dark, imposing soul that he recognised almost instantly. It ambled up to them as if they were old friends, ignored him completely, and then made its move on his son. Tendrils of dark light extended, emitting a strange, foreboding energy – something he had never encountered before. They wrapped themselves around his son's spirit with ease, forcing that sacred connection with no struggle, and no consequence; mocking him as it did so.

' _RAPHAEL!'_

And though it was an act of pure desperation, as soon as his tendril made contact with his son's aura, he himself had broken the law of the spirit realm, and his soul was rejected for it, thrown; dumped back into his mortal body.

***TMNT*** **END CHAPTER FIVE** ***TMNT***


	7. Chapter Six

Thank you to everyone who is reading, following and/or has favourite'd this fic – and thank you for all the reviews so far, your kind words have been a true inspiration.

On a side note, life has been crazily hectic lately – and I cannot apologise enough for the lateness of this chapter, but I hope you all continue to enjoy reading it – and that everyone enjoyed the chaos that naturally comes with the holidays x

As always, all warnings are explained before the prologue. It's still rated teen, but if you feel it should be upped to 'M' rating – please let me know ASAP.

So here is chapter six; …hmmm…*Shakes Head* nope…not gonna spoil it…scroll on down…

Disclaimer: I do not own TMNTS – nor the cover pic. I make no money – just practising my flare of the dramatic with my favourite characters.

So thanks for taking the time to read this, I hope you enjoy it. Please note that this is not beta-ed but I've done my best.

 **Collared Sai~yonara.**

Written By

Blazin Shadow.

***TMNT*** **CHAPTER SIX** ***TMNT***

The dim hue of the pumpkin lantern did little to illuminate the room he stood in, but for Hamato Leonardo, it was more than enough to suffice. With sleep eluding him, sick to his gut with worry, he had given into Raph's request, and had gone searching for the money. As he crouched down low in his brother's room, a spike of confusion lanced through him as he discovered not one knapsack hidden beneath the bed, but three. Three identical bags. That feeling swiftly morphed into bitter determination, and without further thought, he wrenched them all out.

The first knapsack, coincidently, was the one that he had been searching for, and he shook the contents out. Neatly rolled bundles of cash tumbled out noiselessly, a dozen or so, followed by a heavy looking folder that crash landed, splaying wide open on his crossed legs.

'… _What the…?'_

Bank statements addressed to Mr. Y. Hamato glared up at him; six months worth of transactions at least. Amounts were silently totted up as he slowly thumbed through them, and Leonardo was astounded by the sheer numbers displayed before him. Monthly totals were roughly circled. Untidy scrawls ran along the edges. One by one he read through them, could practically hear his brother's voice echoing inside his skull.

'… _$500 on the card, $200 in the pot – every week…'_

'… _$750 on the card now–'_

'– _$300 in the pot…'_

'… _Gotta up the runs…'_

'… _Three nights per week now – minimum…'_

'… _Emergency stash. $2000 and loose change…'_

'… _Not Enough_ _…!'_

'… _Bring it up to $3000. Just in case…'_

'… _Can I risk four runs…?'_

Sea blue widened incredulously. Since when were they spending _$2000 per month?_ Since when was that _not enough?!_ A green finger trailed down the lists of transactions, trying to figure it out. Places that he recognised jumped out at him first. Antonio's, Wal-mart, Forbidden Planet–!

'… _Space Heroes…'_

Shaking off the sudden bout of guilt – for he wasn't the only turtle that liked comic books; he ploughed on…

Yankee Candles.

'… _Well that one was just obvious…!'_

Tokon. AWMA.

'… _Martial art supplies…'_

Amazon.

'… _The random stuff. Games, DVDs, Turtle Wax; etc, etc…'_

And then there were the ones that he didn't recognise. _Bettymills,_ for example; what the heck did they sell? Or _johnstonenyct_? The mind boggled, but they were just the tip of the iceberg. The list of suppliers on these statements was endless, and by the time Leo tore his gaze away, he only knew one thing for certain.

Donnie _, resident genius_ and _tinkerer;_ would know.

But before he could even think to go and question his smartest brother, the other two bags caught his eye, holding him to ransom before logic could protest. Curiosity burned brighter than the sun, and in the end, he just couldn't resist temptation. He yanked the second bag closer, and tipped it upside down.

Transparent cellophane bags hit the bed one by one, and the first one to grab his attention made his heart stammer uncomfortably; _furiously._ Pupils zoned in on it; rounded like saucers.

…White powder?

'… _No way…!'_

With one corner pinched between finger and thumb, Leo brought the bag closer for inspection. The moment he did, and got a good look at the substance, all tension drained from him via a nervous chuckle. No; it wasn't what he suspected, the white granules were far too coarse for _that!_ He rolled the bag between callused finger pads, breathing far easier as he did so. He could feel the rough texture rubbing against them, a mild comfort. An eye ridge quirked. It was…

…Salt?

'… _But why would Raph keep a bag of salt in his room? Aside from putting it on food, the only other purpose it has is to stop infectio–!'_

That trail of thought stalled as cold suspicion took the helm, sea blue glazing over as they skimmed the rest of the clutter. Large strips of clean, fraying fabric sealed in one bag. Tweezers. Scissors. A small Pyrex bowl. An empty plastic bottle. A lighter. A belt. A torch. A handheld mirror. A needle and thread. Leo was floored.

It was the makings of a crudely built medical kit.

But as resident Doc, _Donnie_ patched Raph up – or so Leo thought. Questions tossed relentlessly. How long had Raph been hiding injuries? _Why_ would he hide them in the first place? They all knew he was going out and getting himself into trouble, often coming back worse for wear. It was no secret. _Raph_ was Donnie's most frequent patient. So what, that just _stopped_ all of a sudden, and Donnie didn't twig? It made no sense! None whatsoever! If nothing else, _Donnie_ noticed everything!

'… _So then…if Donnie knew…'_ Eye ridges furrowed further in puzzlement. _'…Why didn't he do anything? Or say something…?'_

Leo's gut clenched. It all boiled down to one thing.

More secrets. More _lies!_ As team leader, he knew so little it seems, and that fact filled him up with outraged dread. It was his job to know! To protect his teammates; his three _little brothers!_ But he had failed them miserably. What else didn't he know? What more was there?

Well there was that final knapsack, sitting innocently on the bed. He eyed it with trepidation. Dare he look through that last bag? He had already seen the money, and had discovered so much that his head was spinning from it all. But it sat there, filled with even more secrets, taunting him. Molars grounded with indecision. It went against his moral compass to violate his brother's privacy further…

…But.

'… _Screw it. He lost that right when he went missing…!'_

"And the rules don't apply when you're missing, _Raph._ " He grumbled, dragging the bag close, "…I'm doing nothing wrong here…"

'… _Nothing…'_

But as he tipped the contents out, nothing could prepare him for that final truth. Tanto blades, Surikan and Smoke Bombs neatly tucked away in the folds of a rolled up fleece blanket? A smaller replica of his medical bag? A few cans of fruit? A small box of Lucky Charms? And cat kibble? A strange, hollow sound escaped him; a haunted whisper amongst the silence.

'… _A Runaway Bag...?'_

'… _Nah…!'_ Denial found its voice. _'…There's no way that Raph'd question his place_ _ **here**_ _–!'_

Lips curved upwards; but it was weak, frozen on his face.

'… _Could he…?'_

'… _No! No way...'_ He rubbed his plastron in a bid to rid himself of the sudden ache in his chest; but that sensation of being sucker punched refused to let up. _'…Raph is cocky, confident; a self assured powerhouse…'_

Yet he had been keeping secrets from them for months, was apparently patching himself up on the quiet, and held so much doubt that he was prepared to walk.

'… _Geez Raph…'_

Between these revelations and his red-banded brother's voice message – Leo was utterly lost. No plan was forthcoming. No strategies presented themselves. The emotional storm had systematically torn down every single discipline he had, leaving nothing behind but a devastated teen with a missing younger sibling.

'… _One that might not want to come home…'_

A prickling sensation burned, irritating to the eye ducts; one he concealed with practised ease. In that moment, Leonardo needed just one thing, to confide in a brother. He _needed_ Donatello. With that he was on his feet, calmly re-bagging and stashing the knapsacks before making a beeline across the way to Donnie's room. He knocked three times, a soft rapping of knuckles against wood.

"You awake, Donnie?" Leo called quietly, practically leaning upon the door, listening out for signs of life as he gently twisted the doorknob, "Donnie…?"

The leader made a silent vow that if Donnie was asleep, he would not be so selfish as to wake his younger brother up; he needed the sleep after all. But as the door swung open under his touch, sea blue squinting in the darkened space, it quickly became apparent that the room was vacant. A flash of panic lanced through him…

…Where was Shell was Donatello?

***TMNT***

The purple banded genius followed the fine thread with an eagle's eye as he stretched it across the wall, lining it up just so as he connected one more thing to the centre of his master piece.

Raph's Timeline.

Said masterpiece covered the entire back wall of the lab, depicting the last twelve hours in exquisite detail. Photos, newspaper clippings, and blue-prints acquired from the internet, as well as colourful post-its with teeny tiny notes attached, accompanied by a map of New York City. These were the disjointed pieces that he had gathered up so far, and as Donatello stepped back, he admired his handiwork over the rim of his mug.

Finally, it was all coming together.

'… _Now all I have to do is make sense of it all, before we go get–!'_

" _ **Donatello!**_ "

Dark liquid spewed forth, spraying the timeline.

"Argh, Geez!" Whirling around furiously, he addressed the newcomer, swiping at his mouth with the back of one hand. "Look what you made me do, _Leo!_ "

"Well if you were sleeping instead of drinking _this!_ " Leo retorted just as angrily, gesturing to the jug sitting innocently on the table between them. "You know how Master Splinter feels about the coffee!"

Donnie quietly fumed; he knew what was coming.

"It's a poison to both mind and body!"

"Oh for crying out loud!" Donnie couldn't help but roll his eyes at _that._ "I'm old enough to make my own choices–!"

"You're fifteen." Leo deadpanned, clearly unimpressed.

"–And if you tell Master Splinter…" Donnie huffed, ignoring Leo's comment altogether. "…Then I'll just have to tell him the exact same thing I'm gonna tell you now! I _tried!_ But I _can't – stop thinking!_ " Fingers jabbed at his temples aggressively; _jab_ , _jab_ , _jabbing_ to drive the point home. "I _ _ **CAN'T**_ **_** _sleep!_ So if you're not helping me, _Leo!_ " An arm swung towards the door dismissively. "Then. Get. _Out!_ Cause I'm not _DOING THIS_ _with you!_ "

"Not now–!" His voice cracked, lower lip wobbling. "…Just…"

The caffeine fuelled boost was waning fast; both mind and body far too exhausted to argue. He turned his back on his brother.

"…Just go away…"

But instead of leaving, Leo rounded the table fast, near silent footfalls padding the length of the lab until the leader stood beside him with the jug of sloshing coffee held in a firm grip. With a glare as cold as steel, Leo tipped his head back, taking a very dramatic, overly large swig of the bitter beverage. An agonised wince flitted across his face as he forced himself to gulp it down, and Donnie couldn't help but let out a rasp of a chuckle. If ever there was an amusing sight.

"T-There. Now we'll both be – in trouble." Leo gagged, grateful to abandon the jug on the nearest countertop. " _ **Urgh!**_ That stuff is _vile_! I dunno how you can…" Cheeks bloated as he struggled to keep it down, "…stomach it."

A faint, all knowing smirk crossed Donnie's lips, "You get used to it after a while…"

Nothing more was said after that, and as he stood shoulder to shoulder with his eldest brother, allowing the comforting silence to encompass, the purple banded genius let his thoughts wander as he strayed back to the timeline. He was particularly fascinated by the blueprint of the factory. According to those plans, there should have been a staircase leading into the basement level where Raph was being held. But, when they were there, there was no staircase or any kind of entry point that led below ground. So how was Slash getting in and out…? The side of his forefinger rapped at his chin. It was a mystery for sure.

"Donnie." Leo suddenly murmured, cutting through his trail of thought. "Did something happen between you and Raph?"

The brainiac paused, _'…Well that's a strange question…'_

With the majority of his attention still focused on the timeline, he shook his head minutely from side to side; a negative.

"…Nothing at all?" Leo pressed.

Eye ridges furrowed marginally. There was that subtle warning to his older brother's tone that made him think that _maybe_ he should start paying attention to this conversation.

"No more so than usual," Donnie answered evenly, keeping his gaze perfectly steady, fixated on the timeline. "Why?"

Before giving an answer, Leo twisted his body, arms crossing over his plastron as he casually leaned against the wall. To the untrained eye there was nothing unusual about the slouched position, but Donnie knew far better than that. Leo had moved himself into prime position to witness his every expression, to sniff out any deception while he 'unofficially' interrogated him. And Leo _knew_ that _he_ knew that. If he made any attempt to shy away now, it would be taken as a sign of admission…

"I searched his room for that sack of cash he talked about, and I found some _…medical supplies…_ hidden under his bed." Leo's lilt remained deceptively soft even as inquisitive sea blue stared him down. "You really didn't know about it?"

Donnie stiffened, breath catching in his throat.

'… _By Darwin's Beard…'_

His gut squirmed uncomfortably. Sweat beaded at his temples. Cheeks flushed with shame as heavy eyelids caved, shutting the world out. He always was such a terrible liar, and it honestly surprised him that Leo hadn't discovered this secret a whole lot sooner. Keeping secrets was not one of his strong points.

"He made me promise not to tell you." Donnie mumbled; a weak defence. "He made me _promise_ , Leo!" He couldn't emphasise that point enough! "You know how he is when it comes to promises."

"Yeah…" His brother agreed, baritone light and somewhat soothing, "Well the rules don't apply while he's missing, so you're free to tell me."

A hand landed squarely on his shoulder and squeezed, an attempt at brotherly comfort for sure; but it did little to ease Donnie's sudden bout of exasperation. Eyelids flew wide open as he glared heatedly at his sibling.

"That's not a thing, Leo!"

"Sure it is." Leo quipped, glaring his own set of proverbial daggers. "Now spill."

Donnie fidgeted nervously on the spot. There was no getting out of this one, he knew that for sure; but that fact did very little to make any of it easier. Swallowing down a painful lump, feeling like a _traitor_ to his most antagonistic brother, he opened his mouth...

"…Do you remember the time when Raph bailed on us halfway through movie night? It was a roughly a few months back…before Spike turned into Slash…"

Leo nodded, quietly encouraging, and Donnie's adams apple bobbed under the mounting pressure. Despite the ongoing rivalry and explosive fights between the two, there was always such a fierce bond between his two older brothers. Based on a silent agreement that even he couldn't decipher, it ensured that in times of crisis, they always had each other's backs, no matter what. And right now Leo was floundering without that modicum of control, that unfulfilled, protective instinct kicking into overdrive – _driving him insane!_

And although this snippet of information wouldn't help that in the slightest–!

'… _In fact it'll probably make it worse…!'_

Donnie was unable to refuse his brother's earnest, most desperate expression. He recalled the exact details of how he had discovered that poor excuse of a medical bag, and once he spilled all to the blue banded leader, Leo was gonna flip.

Yet still his lips rounded those condemning words, voice breaking as he revealed all…

 _Something pulled him out of his reverie, and Donatello's head snapped up. What was that? Forget it Donnie, you've been at this for way too long and the coffee's starting to affect your senses._

 _It is not!_

 _Trembling hands were a direct contradiction, one that he couldn't dispute as they dragged over exhausted features. He grumbled half heartedly to himself. There were never enough hours in the day. Never! What was the time anyway? Hooded pupils swivelled towards the clock; 2.53am. Donnie groaned, slumping further down in his squeaky computer chair._

" _Ah Geez."_

 _Morning practise starts at 6.30am sharp, giving him little more than three hours worth of sleep – if he could sleep, that is. There was no way that he was going to be alert enough to avoid scrutiny. Leo was gonna kill him. No, scratch that._

 _Master Splinter_ _was gonna kill him!_

 _Another groan escaped him as he hauled himself onto shaky feet, wincing as several bones cricked under the sudden movement. One step, two steps, three; the purple banded genius exited the lab with all the grace of a wandering zombie, but as he climbed the few steps that led to the upper hallway, a faint noise made him pause. His head canted to one side, straining to hear it. What was that? Twisting to his right, he struggled to identify the unusual sound. It was pained sort of grunting, like an animalistic whine. It sounded like…_

… _Spike?_

 _But? But what was wrong with Spike?_

 _Unable to refuse a cry for help, even at this ungodly hour, Donnie spun on a dime and swiftly crossed the way to Raph's room._

" _Raph?" Donnie knocked softly. "You in there? Something's wrong with Spike." Nobody answered him, but he couldn't very well leave a whining animal, not to its own devices. "I'm coming in. Okay, bro."_

 _Still there was no response, but he could hear a quiet scramble on the other side of the door. It was obvious that his grump of a brother was in his bedroom, though why he was ignoring him was a mystery for sure. Under normal circumstances, Donatello would've taken the hint and left his brother to ride out his anti-social mood swing alone, but his need to help the distressed pet hardened his resolve. Squaring his shoulders, expecting nothing less than an aggressive confrontation, he pushed the door wide open. Three unhindered strides carried him across the bedroom floor, finding his target resting in his makeshift crate bed. Squatting low, Donnie scanned the small terrapin for any signs of injury or discomfort. But there was nothing, not even a scratch. Eye ridges knitted together, openly confused; Spike was perfectly fine, and he wasn't making any strange sounds either._

 _But he did have an odd, scheming glint to his yellowish eyes._

 _Okay, Donnie. You've had way too much coffee and–!_

" _You see! Spike's fine!" A voice piped up huskily, somewhere beyond his peripheral. "So you can just go now!"_

 _Donnie bristled, thoughts grinding to a staggering halt. Raph. There was something off about his brother's rugged tone, a strange, high pitched undertone that was rarely heard and instantly set him on edge. With an air of caution, the genius rose, stiffly twisting towards the voice. The first thing he clocked was the vivid green of his brother's eyes, shining unusually bright from their shadowed position. They were like twin beacons, showcasing all. Fear, determination, desperation; all classic signs of a deer caught in the headlights, or a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar, or a brother caught with something to hide._

 _And with the majority of said brother hidden behind the open door, curiosity was most definitely piqued._

" _Everything okay, Raph?"_

 _He deliberately locked eyes with his older brother, trying to gauge a reaction._

" _Yep." The silhouette of Raph's head bobbed like a nodding dog, even as emerald flickered nervously. "Just peachy."_

" _Aha." An eye ridge quirked, not buying it for a second; his brother was blatantly lying to him. Clearing his throat, he was determined to uncover the truth. "Then why are you hiding behind the door?"_

" _I'm not hiding!" Raph snapped indignantly. "…Just…Just holding it open for ya. Y'know. So you can leave!"_

 _A moment passed where neither turtle budged, until Raph huffed. "Now, Donnie!"_

 _Fingers holding the door flexed impatiently, but Donnie wasn't going anywhere. Not now._

" _What's wrong with you?" He asked instead, tilting his head to one side._

 _Raph growled lowly in his throat, "Nothin'."_

 _Calculating chocolate brown narrowed. Donnie didn't believe that statement either, openly scanning the room for any indication of what was transpiring here. C'mon clues, where are you? C'mon, C'mon, C'mo–Aha! The lumpy bedspread caught his attention, thrown haphazardly, like there was something buried beneath it. An eager hand stretched out to investigate…_

" _Don't do that!"_

… _And despite Raph's verbal protest, he wrenched the material away, only to drop it in shock._

" _What is all this…?"_

 _Out of all the scenarios he could have pictured, he never, not in a million years, would've imagined this! But then he realised with a wave of cold dread; that he should have – and a whole lot sooner at that. From four visits weekly to next to nothing at all? The sealed needle and thread pack that had mysteriously vanished from his drawer not three weeks prior? His brother's standoffish, quieter demeanour towards him…? In his naivety he had assumed that less visits to the lab meant that Raph had finally – after months and months of badgering on his part – had_ _ **FINALLY**_ _gotten the hint and was being more careful when he went topside. But no, no of course that wasn't the case._

 _Turns out he was just hiding it better!_

 _A rare feeling swept through him, blinding in its ferocity, scorching with its intensity._

 _Pure. Unadulterated. Rage._

 _But whether said rage was aimed at Raph or himself, was yet to be determined._

" _Donnie."_

 _Violent tremors wracked his frame. The mind boggled, sizzling with a slew of questions like; how bad was it…?!_

" _Show me. Now!" Donnie sneered venomously, air whistling through his gapped tooth, "Or I go wake Leo."_

 _Raph made no move to answer him, stubbornly holding his ground behind the door, and Donnie glowered darkly, taking deliberate steps towards the exit. "Guess we're doing this the hard way then."_

 _One step, two steps, thre–!_

"– _Wait!" An arm shot out to stop him, something sticky squelching between bicep and clamping digits. "You can never tell him, Donnie! You have to promise me!_ _ **Promise**_ _me right now!"_

 _Twitching fingers shook at his arm urgently, but Donnie was already rooted in place, horrifying details stunning him into compliance. The quiet yet harsh laboured breathing, an arm wrapped around a half hidden waist, the smudged handprint tainting the rim of the abandoned door, the waft of coppery warmth that slammed his sense of smell._

 _And that look._

 _Donnie would never forget that look. A spark of shame and a flash of overwhelming panic, swirling in the depths of openly frightened, unfocused, glazed emerald as they began to roll upwards…_

… _And a spent body slumped forth._

" _Whoa!"_

 _Instinctively catching the bulkier frame, Donnie crumpled under the rock hard mass, barely softening the landing as they both hit the floor with a rumbling thump._

" _Raph!" Donnie wriggled his way free, clamouring to his brother's side, "Raph, talk to me!"_

"… _D–Donnnnnnie…? I dun'…" His brother moaned, blood-streaked face half-pressed into the floor. "…feel…so good…"_

" _Yeah, yeah I got that." Donnie whispered frantically, breathlessly. "What the Shell happened to you?! Who did this?! No! No forget–that's not important right now! Where's the injury, Raph?! C'mon bro, tell me where it i–?!" He stalled mid-rant, detecting the pooling gore trapped between the lower portion of his plastron and carapace. "Once I've fixed this, I'm gonna smack some sense into you! You stupid! Y-Y-You idiot! What were you thinking?! Why would you try and hide this?!"_

" _Are you_ _ **insane**_ _?!"_

 _Hands wrenched at the previously abandoned bedspread, the only fabric within reach, and pressed it down hard, trying to stem the blood flow long enough to get a good look at the wound. Raph didn't even flinch._

"… _M'sorry…"_

 _The slurred word was so quietly spoken that Donnie thought he'd imagined it, but more concerning than that, was that the body beneath his hands laid still, far too still for comfort. Heavy eyelids blinked in slow-motion, struggling to stay open, the only sign of life. In a fit of mounting hysteria, Donnie doubled over, saying the most stupidest thing to date._

" _I won't tell Leo if you keep your eyes open!" He anxiously hissed to the side of his brother's head. "Y'here me, Raph? Keep those eyes open!"_

 _The body shuffled minutely under his fingertips, "…f-f-fearless…?"_

" _That's right!" Donnie nodded fervently, "Just think how angry 'Fearless' will be if he sees you passed out on the floor?"_

 _Jostling his own weight from one foot to the other, Donnie accidently backed into Raph's drums, anxiety spiking to new heights alongside frustration. Squashed between his brother's bed and drum kit, there wasn't enough room to work here! But he couldn't very well drag Raph back to the lab! Not by himself at least. But, he promised his brother not to say anything, and Raph had already lost way too much blood…_

 _Okay Donnie, time to improvise._

" _Here, bro! Focus on Spike!" He grabbed the small terrapin and plonked him non-too-gently next to Raph's head, "Spike!" He couldn't believe he was actually talking to said pet, "You keep him awake, and I'll feed you all the leaves you want! Okay? Okay, good. I'll be right back!"_

 _Spike hissed enthusiastically, waddling closer to his owner. Donnie scurried to the doorway, pausing just long enough to see Spike head butting Raph, right between the eyes, followed by a much larger hand curving around the smaller turtle's body._

"… _I'ma…I'ma…" Vacant emerald locked with yellowish irises, almost trance-like, as if nothing else existed beyond their bubble. "…doncha worry…Spike…"_

 _A replying hiss snapped him from his momentary digression, and Donatello rushed to his lab, all thoughts of sleep long gone. Raph needed a transfusion and stitches; or maybe cauterising? Painful pulses jabbed at him again and again and again as medical facts vied for a chance to dance in the spotlight…_

 _He had never dealt with an injury this bad before._

 _He had never dealt with a–!_

***TMNT***

'… _What…!'_

Donnie continued mono-logging, wringing his hands more and more with every word spoken, but Leo had tuned him out, unable to register what was being relayed to him. He…He couldn't have heard that right.

"That's funny." Leo chuckled, a quiet sound of disbelief. "It sounded like you said that Raph got stabbed…" Leo paused expectantly, sea blue twinkling with amusement, only to be met with stifling silence. "…Donnie?"

'… _Any time now, bro…'_

But instead of hearing an instant outburst of denial, something he needed to hear right now, his younger brother seemed to shrink back even further. The emanating guilt was almost palpable.

"What!" Leo breathed incredulously, the contents of his stomach churning violently. "But when–? How–?" Answers. He needed them _now!_ Only–! "We spar together, every day! There's no way he could have hidden something like that! I would have noticed!"

'… _No, it's gotta be a cruel joke…!'_ Memories of his brother were running rampant in his skull, one after the other, his brain tick, tick, ticking as he scrutinised them at an alarming rate – confirming what he already knew. _'…There's no way that he could have possibly hid a stab wound, not during training…'_

"And the only time he skipped out on training was when he was sick in bed, a-a-and…"

'… _When was that…?'_ That hateful little voice piped up, clearly amused at his expense, _'…Two…Three months back…The morning after he bailed out on movie night!'_

And in that moment, Leo stilled, sobering up fast. It was as if someone had jumped up and slapped him round the face with a wet fish, leaving him standing there like a gaping idiot as one last memory played out…

" _Raph's sick?" His own voice echoed._

" _Yep!" Donnie stood before him, a foul smelling liquid sloshing in the swinging bucket between them. "That's exactly what it is! Raph's sick!"_

 _Sea blue flicked to the door beyond Donnie then back again, instantly concerned for his immediate younger brother. Raph was rarely sick. Whenever he was, it hit him hard. Scarily hard…_

" _I should check up on him. Make sure he's okay."_

 _In times of sickness, Leo knew what to do. He'd had enough practise after all. First: Tuck 'em up to the chin, keep 'em nice and warm, and not just warm mind you, but 'Toasty Warm'. Next: Spoon-feed 'em bowls of Raman, not the canned stuff that had excessive amounts of salt in it, but freshly made, full of veggies and ummm; well he'd ask Sensei to make a batch of his super awesome secret recipe – that always went down well! And finally: Keep an eye on 'em, making sure they stay in bed until full and completely recovery has been achieved! He'd have to get one of the beanbags from the pit and camp out by the bed, for Raph was notorious for sneaking away and hated mother hen-ing of any kind; not that Leo could be accused of such a thing! Shell no! But before all that, it was time to see the patient. Leo went to grab the doorknob leading to Raph's room when–!_

" _NO!" Donnie slapped his hand away, barring the way._

" _You can't go in there! He's extremely contagious, upchucking all over the place! See! I just cleaned up!"_

 _The bucket swung harder as it soared up to Leo's eye level, a vile combination of reeking vomit and stinging bleach torturing his sense of smell._

" _Gotta stay isolated for at least a week!"_

 _Concern spiked several notches. But that's not right! No contact at all? For a whole week?! Quaking digits balled at his sides, control slipping through proverbial fingers. No! If he could just spend a little time at his brother's side then Donnie would realise that his contribution was invaluable and–!_

" _No exceptions, Leo!" Donnie insisted, blocking his way yet again! "We can't afford to let a virus like this sweep throughout the lair!"_

" _But Donnie. C'mon!" It was his job to keep watch over his little brothers, to be there for them and to–! "It'd only be for a minute and I–!"_

 _But seriousness lined Donnie's tense stance, denying him access. "Don't make me pull rank, Leo."_

 _Leo blanched. As team leader, there was only one scenario where Master Splinter would allow someone else to pull rank over his decisions, and they both knew it. Dr. Don overruled Fearless Team Leader – no exceptions. Leo swallowed hard as he turned away, bypassing the sudden urge to push pass one brother to get to the other. He would never intentionally disobey his father's rule, no matter how wrong it felt at the time. His father was always right. He had to have faith in that!_

" _Don't worry, bro." Donnie called to his retreating back. "I'll have him back on his feet in no time!"_

"…You told me to stay away, that he was contagious." Leo was stunned. Since when was Donnie such a convincing liar?! Since when was he such a gullible fool?! "You lied to me, and I fell for it…"

'… _Like a true Lame-a-nardo…'_

"Well, not really lied…" Donnie pointed out meekly. "He really was sick, and he was hurling like a trooper, and I did get him back on his feet. So, so when you really think about it, I was only doing my job, a-a-and…"

Leo threw him a scathing glare, and Donnie hung his head low.

" **How** did it happen?" Leo demanded calmly, icily. " **Who** was it, Donnie?! Who?! The Foot?! The Kraang?!"

'… _Just point me in the right direction…'_

"…I don't know." Donnie whispered forlornly.

"Don't gimme that, Donnie!" A swell of crazed fire lit his soul from the inside out. "You must know something! He must have told you _something!_ "

"But he didn't," came his brother's frustrated response. "He _didn't_ , Leo! I've been trying to get it out of him, since it happened! But you know how stubborn he is! I only know what I know, because I caught him red-handed! If I hadn't…" Donnie teetered, terror underscoring his withered words "…Don't you get it, Leo? He had every intention of stitching himself up, and keeping it under wraps; from all of us."

'… _But, but why would he put himself through that…?!'_ The young leader was really struggling to maintain calm, fists unclenching and re-clenching at his sides. _'…Raph hates needles! Phobia-level_ _ **HATES**_ _them…!'_

"He was really lucky." Donnie rambled on, detached and factual even as chocolate brown shimmered with wetness. "The blade skimmed his side at an angle. If it had been a direct hit…"

Donnie tore his gaze away, and Leo froze as the implications of those words washed over him – overriding everything else. The kidneys, the gut, the liver; a direct hit to any one of those would've been catastrophic. He could have died alone–!

"No!" Leo denied, unwilling to accept that possibility. "Raph may be many things, but stupid isn't one of them! He wouldn't have left himself wide open like that!" _–No way in Shell–!_ "Close range fighting is his area of expertise!"

'… _Something to envy…'_

"Exactly; close range fighting is his forte." Donnie agreed solemnly, "Yet someone managed to get in close enough to land that hit. At first I thought it was a pride thing, y'know? Raph never took getting beat well…"

"…But then he left you that message, and now – now I can't help but think it's connected to this money he was talking about. Think about it! The amounts Raph had to be secretly bringing home, to cover everything we spend? He was doing more than fleecing the occasional purse snatcher, Leo." Chocolate brown became wild as he pushed his theory. "I'd wager that Raph and this human kid were making routine strikes against some of the city's biggest guns, alone, and it got out of hand and–!"

'… _It just keeps getting worse and worse…'_ Leo's world diminished into nothingness as that haunting thought told a hold, _'…Dammit, Raphael! You should have come to me with this…!'_ leaving him to wallow in the black void of his mind. _'…But instead, you took it all on by yourself, trusting some human boy, a complete stranger no less, above your own family?! And then you just had to go and get yourself badly injured, didn't you! And instead of coming to us for help, you rope Donnie into helping you cover that up? A knife wound?! It's insane! I mean what does that say about our team? O-Or about us, as brothers…?!'_

'… _What does that SAY–?!'_

"You guys can't sleep either?"

Leo blinked hard, the world shifting sharply back into focus around him, "Mikey?"

A bandana-less Mikey hovered awkwardly at the entryway to the lab, weight shifting from one foot to the other, again and again and again. His comfort blanket was half draped across freckled shoulders, half dragging along the dust-speckled floor, while his teddy bear hung in his left hand, digits twiddling and twiddling and twiddling the plush.

"I-I keep having trippy dreams, Bro…" Baby blues travelled slowly from Leo to Donnie, "...And Bro. I mean, well it's just the one dream really." They snapped back to Leo beseechingly, "But it was so real, and I can't get it out of my mind!"

"…And I didn't wanna go in Raph's room, when Raph's not there…" The youngest brother rocked anxiously on the spot. "…And both your rooms were empty, and I didn't wanna disturb Sensei a-a-and–!"

"Here, Mikey," Leo couldn't take it anymore, dragging out a stool for his youngest brother, "Sit. Tell me."

Pulling out a stool for himself, he sat himself down with his back to his other brother. He couldn't bring himself to even _look_ at Donatello right now. Mikey plonked himself down in the offered seat, drowsy eyes flicking apprehensively from Leo, to somewhere behind his shoulder, to Leo again.

"Did I interrupt something…?" His teddy bear landed on the table, though Mikey refused to relinquish his grip, still twiddling the plush. "…Cause I feel like, maybe, maybe I should leave…?" Baby blues kept darting back and forth, from brother to brother. "I can go watch some 'toons or something while you guys finish…" He sniffled quietly, "…whatever it was you were talking about–"

"No! Don't be silly." Leo stated firmly, but Mikey radiated quiet disbelief until Leo reiterated his stance, arm reaching out across the table, "No, Mikey! We want you to stay. Donnie and I were just talking, bouncing ideas off one another. Right, Donnie?"

Donnie nodded as he nimbly slid into place on Mikey's other side, letting a hand rest upon a blanketed shoulder as Leo squeezed Mikey's hand, "Right, Leo."

And even though it was a white lie, it was more than worth it when Mikey's defences broke, sagging between the two protective brothers, relief dancing in his shattered countenance. But then that blessed relief morphed into an unseen terror, and Mikey took a deep, shell rattling breath.

And then he exploded in a fit of failing hands and noise!

"MyroomwasSHININGwithpinkandpurpleLIGHTSandtherewasaKRAANGPORTALhoveringinmyroomanditlookedlikeIwaslookingthroughaWINDOWandontheothersideSLASHhadRAPHtiedupontheFLOORandRaphwasSCREAMINGinPAINandthenSlashsawMEandIFREAKEDandthenhegotupandjustwhenIthoughthewasgonnaJUMPTHROUGHandGETMEtheywere **GONE** **–!** "

Mikey leapt out of his seat hysterically, the stool crashing to the floor behind him. Leo rose up in sync, staring down purified horror with calm composure, taking control. Donnie wordlessly clamoured to Leo's aid, helping to settle the distraught brother.

"I could have done something, Leo!" Mikey whimpered in-between rapid, shallow pants, lower lip wobbling, "I could have saved him, D-D-D! But I f-froze up! I-I-I–!"

"Easy, lil' bro; easy. I need you to follow my lead now," reassuring sea blue delved deep into erratic baby blue, "and slow down." One hand slipped around Mikey's nape, guiding his younger brother's forehead to touch his own while the other hand grasped a quaking shoulder, rubbing finger-pads in soothing circles on clammy flesh. "We can't keep up with you."

"Deep breaths, Mikey." Donnie quietly instructed. "We need to bring your heartbeat right back down now." Leo visibly slowed his breathing down, relieved when his younger brother automatically followed suit. "That's good." Donnie murmured, digits silently keeping track of his pulse via an artery located at the wrist. "Sit back down. No, wait! Wait a minute. The chair. Let me grab that for you, and then you can sit…"

Donnie yanked the stool back into an upright position, and Leo helped Mikey to sit back down, easing up but maintaining eye contact as he perched on the edge of his own stool.

"You good now?" Nerves were rapidly fraying under the ever-growing, punishing storm, but Leo managed keep his features carefully neutral as he addressed his youngest brother who nodded that, yes; he was fine.

"You sure, Mikey?" Donnie piped up. "I got some dark chocolate if you need it. The endorphins it'll release will help to…"

But Mikey was already shaking his head from side to side with a grossed out look plastered on his face. Dark chocolate held a bitter quality that most would cringe at. But for Leo, it was pure heaven.

"I could use some." His gaze shifted cautiously to Donnie, "if you don't mind, Donnie."

"O-Of course not!" Donnie sounded dazed, amazed, as if he was genuinely surprised that Leo had spoken him directly. "Let me just, go get some for you…"

Donnie hurried across the way and pulled out a couple of bars from his stash in a drawer beneath the desktop computer, before hurrying back and plonking the items on the table before him. Though before Donnie could retreat, Leo took a hold of his wrist.

"Donnie?"

There was so much he wanted to convey in that moment, so much choked up in that one word alone. Love. Regret. Trust. Sheer gratefulness…

'… _For stepping up and gaining our brother's trust when I failed. For telling me the truth when you knew that a fallout was inevitable. For saving his life when I couldn't–!'_

And from his position, half hunched above him, chocolate brown softened into something akin to understanding.

"I know, Leo." Donnie murmured haltingly, "I know. And I'm sorry too, bro…"

"No!" Leo shook his head vehemently. "You have nothing to–! I have to explain…" Hollow, mirthless laughter bubbled, "I'm not mad at you–!"

"–You were mad at D?" Mikey piped up, inquisitive yet disbelieving baby blues swinging onto the middle brother with a hint of cheekiness attached. "What'd ya do, D? What'd ya do…?"

"I didn't do anything, Mikey?!" Donnie spluttered, "It was just a, a friendly disagreement."

"Heh," Mikey couldn't help but playfully dig. "A ' _friendly disagreement_ '; that's what you're going with?"

"Enough, Mikey. I'm not mad with Donnie." Leo intervened, gently reprimanding the incorrigible behaviour. "Tell us about your dream, slowly this time, from the beginning."

Popping a piece of dark chocolate into his mouth, he savoured the delicious tang as it melted onto his taste buds, mentally preparing himself for a wild tale as Mikey crashed back down to reality, raw fear tingeing his voice.

"My room was shining with pink and purple lights and there was a Kraang portal hovering in my room. But it wasn't at all foggy – like we're used to. It was clear, like, like; like I was looking through a window. And on the other side…" Mikey sucked in a tremendous breath, ready to explode again. "Slash had Raph tied up on the floor! He was screaming i-in pain, a-a-and then Slash saw me! And I was gonna call for help b-b-but I was scared! I-I-I froze up!

Tears were welling up fast. Hands were badly trembling, and Leo squeezed one hard, reinforcing one basic truth. No matter how horrific, no matter how real it felt, Mikey would overcome this; because it was just a nightmare.

A twisted, twisted nightmare.

But Mikey shrunk back, pulling away from the offered comfort, head cradled and ducked low. "Slash saw me, and just when I thought he was gonna jump through the portal, a-and h-h-h-urt me, they were _**gone**_! T-They were gone…!"

Shoulders heaved under the ferocity of his cries, and Leo's heart clenched – eager to help, but finding himself in a very strange scenario. When Mikey was usually plagued with nightmares, his first port of call would be either Raph or Master Splinter himself; both of whom were really reliable and really _really_ good at dealing with them. So with Raph missing and Master Splinter deep in a meditative trance, trying to find said brother, well…

"Look at me, Mikey. Look at me." Leo was ill equipped, but determined to ease his little brother's torment. "You couldn't have done anything. It was just a nightmare. A horrible nightmare…"

He side glanced Donatello, looking for any kind of backup at this point, but all colour had drained from the genius's skin. And he wasn't the only turtle to notice that fact.

"Donnie…?"

"It fits." Was the only response they garnered from the purple banded genius, but it was that maddening glint in faraway irises that put Leo's guard up. That spark of craziness only appeared when Donnie had slammed into an important realisation. "It's the missing piece."

An unrestrained cackle of glee bounced off the walls of the lab as Donnie clapped his hands together, scrambling to 'Raph's Timeline' as he declared. "He's using a _Kraang Portal!_ "

Leo blanched as Mikey simultaneously half rasped half shrieked, "Are you saying that what I saw was _**REAL–!**_ "

"No!" Composure slipped for a fraction of a millisecond. "That is _not_ what Donnie's saying!" Leo shot the idea down, squashing it as best he could. "Is it Donnie? It was just a harmless nightmare. Right, Donnie? A harmless…Nightmare…!"

But with his back to both Leo and Mikey, Donnie was oblivious to the turmoil he was creating as he continued to openly speculate.

"Well the likelihood of Slash getting his hands on a Kraang Portal is next to none, let alone hijacking such advanced technology to the point where he could actually use it. It would have to be portable, for one thing – and it'd have to be completely untraceable, to avoid detection – otherwise he'd have a whole army of Kraang to deal with the moment he opened it up. There is no way Slash is intelligent enough to pull that off! But… _if_ he managed to convince someone else to do it for him…?"

"But!" Mikey spluttered with spiking alarm. "But that means he was torturing–!"

" _ **RAPHAEL!**_ "

A second of deadly silence followed that primal roar, before all three portrayed fear in the utterance of a single name.

"Master Splinter!"

" **MY SON!** " All three bolted from the lab at a furious pace, spurred on as their Master, Sensei and father bellowed." **NNNNOOOOO!** "

" _Master Splinter!_ " Leo bounded the short space in record time, sliding to his knees before his shaking, doubled over; " _Sensei!_ Sensei, _can you hear–?!_ "

" _ **RAPHAEL!**_ "

"No, Sensei!" Leo felt completely helpless as he hovered awkwardly, _uselessly_ at his father's side, trying to support him as best he could. "It's me, Leonardo!"

Hands gripped the sides of a furry face, finally managing to force eye contact with his father, but it was clear that the other was riddled with delirium as he continued to shout out; " _R-RAPHAEL!_ "

"MY SON!" Garnet wavered with madness and sea blue became increasingly distraught, "M-MY SON!"

'… _F-FATHER–?!'_

He didn't know what to do! He didn't know _what_ to _**DO!**_

"Step aside please!" Donnie jumped in with his medical bag, shining a flash light directly into Master Splinter's eyes, one after the other, trying to gauge some sort of reaction. "Sensei? It's me Donatello. Can you hear me?"

"S-Saki…?" The strength in his father's tone was waning fast. "…my brother…"

Leonardo winced, a swell of heart-wrenching pity descending fast. To have an enemy that was once your own brother, to consider any of his brothers, in such a way…? Well it was just unthinkable. Yet it was a tortuous reality his father had to face down every day.

"...what have you done?!"

'… _What have you done…?'_ An inner voice echoed, a knot of dread forming in the pit of his stomach, _'…The Shredder–?!'_

"…Leonardo?" Finally, after what felt like an age of misery, a glimmer of recognition shimmered in watery garnet, dragging at a snail's pace from one crumpled face, to the next, to the last. "My sons."

Furry hands reached out for them and all three sagged simultaneously, responses ranging from floods of tears, to discreet sniffling, to outright cheering – but all three snuggling in as close as humanely possible. The tidal wave of relief that emanated in that moment was crippling.

"Dad–!"

"–You're okay–!"

"–What happened?!"

"One strike," Master Splinter spoke lowly, features clouding over with something darker, something unnerving, something shameful. "One strike against my spirit."

"A strike?!" Leo repeated hollowly, pulling back to stare at his father horrified.

He knew of the law, they all did. It was the first thing their Sensei had drummed into their skulls before even attempting to show them anything connected with the spirit realm. The damning consequences for law breaking were executed instantly, without recourse, and were completely irrevocable. So for Master Splinter to come back with a strike upon his own spirit…?

"How?!" Leo exclaimed.

"Saki. He has done something…unforgiveable." A furry hand rubbed at his robed chest, and Leo could feel that foreign splodge of darkness swirling within his Sensei, tainting the purest spirit he knew. "I tried to stop him but…" Ears flattened in despair. "…He has forced a connection…with your brother, and I was thrown out..."

"Forced a connection? In the spirit realm? But how is that even remotely possible…? You said there was always a consequence!" Donatello ranted, demanding yet hushed, unable to compute, just what was being said.

"What does that mean, Sensei?" Michelangelo asked, equally as confused, baby blues wide and painfully naive.

But for Leonardo, a bucket of ice had crashed over him. He knew exactly what that meant. The Shredder had gone too far, way too far. He was beyond forgiveness on any level whatsoever, and in turn, his resolve crystallised into cold-blooded fury. All the pain, the hurt, the anger – they coalesced into something worth fearing. A dangerously detached, calculating, unbreakable, double-edged sword; one that promised a swift death to anyone foolish enough to try and stand in his way.

"Stay with Master Splinter."

It was the only warning they got. Moving with all the grace of a lethal predator, Leonardo silently removed himself from his incomplete family and kneeled before the family tree, allowing its sacred energy to encompass him.

"…Leo…?" Someone called, but he was too far gone to care right now.

No ifs. No buts. No Maybes…

He was going to find his missing little brother. Find him, and bring him home.

Alone.

But just as the peaceful light of the spirit realm called out to him, two hands clasped at his own, two spirits tagging along uninvited. With Donatello to his right, and Michelangelo to his left, Leonardo could do nothing to stop the pull, both of them hitching a ride. All three sailed into the heart of the spirit realm, and though a part of him was annoyed with his younger siblings, Leonardo couldn't stay mad at them for long. He could only smile inwardly, correcting his earlier thought.

 _They_ were going to save _their_ missing brother.

Together.

***TMNT***

The first thing that Raph noticed as he opened his eyes was that he was dumped flat on his back, the warped centrepiece to a bright, no more than twenty foot or so, spotlight. The second thing he noticed was that beyond this circle of white light was well, nothing; nothing except a canvas of solid black, nothing he could see anyway. And finally he noticed, as he scrambled to his feet – unsure of how he should feel about his current whereabouts, was that he had been completely stripped of his weapons, gear and bandana.

"SLASH!" He bellowed, spinning on the spot as he scoured his surroundings for any kind of opening, "SLASH, WHAT HAPPENED?! WHERE ARE YOU?!"

Hands tried to reach beyond the black border, only to flinch back as a sharp, shooting sensation tore up his arm via exploring fingertips. Cradling said arm to his chest, Raph backed himself into the centre of the small expanse.

"THIS ISN'T FUNNY, MAN!" Jitters rapidly evolved into full blown panic as he continued to roar, feeling more and more like a caged, wild animal. " _ **SLASH!**_ "

And just when he felt like he was about to lose his mind, a doorway magically appeared amongst the black, swinging open on its own accord. Wide emerald stared at the yellowish hue that invaded what little space he had, overpowering the stark white with its warmer hue; silently beckoning with promises of something intangible and yet…

…In his heart, it felt so right. He longed to go through.

So with a gulp and a shuddering breath, mentally preparing for an ambush or maybe something much, much worse, he forced himself to move. He cautiously crossed the threshold, expecting the absolute worst, but as the room beyond was revealed to him, Raph was left awe struck, completely thrown off balance. He was standing in the lair, the dojo to be precise, yet he knew almost instantly that it wasn't the real dojo – even though this _fake_ one was almost identical. Aside from the solid blackness of the walls, keeping him contained, the majestic tree was a dead giveaway. Hanging from its branches, hidden amongst the lush green leaves were hundreds, if not thousands of, golden apples…?

"Sewer apples." Raph whispered with a miniscule smirk, unable to stop himself from briefly reminiscing.

When they were young, real young like, Master Splinter would hide all sorts of apples in the family tree, and ordered them to retrieve the 'Sewer Apples' for him. It was one of his happier memories, one of the few times he outshined Leonardo fair and square. He was quite proud of that little fact too, until he later realised that _Mr Fearless Himself_ was afraid of _Heights_ , giving Raph an unfair advantage and making his wins completely worthless! Raph couldn't help but roll his eyes, huffing on the spot. Go figure.

'… _But still…'_ He couldn't help but shuffle closer to the tree, lured in by the perfectly polished, glowing fruit, _'…I wonder what'll happen, if I just…?'_

A three digit hand reached out to touch one, when a voice spat out.

"Though I loath to admit this." Raph's hand snapped back as his back became rigid, all happiness sucked away in an instant. Many a nightmare contained that despicable voice. "You intrigue me, _Freak!_ "

Whirling around to face his father's adversary, _his_ adversary, Raph slid effortlessly into his preferred pre-fighting stance, retorting just as venomously.

" _Shredder!_ "

And there he was, no more than ten paces away, wearing nothing more than a plain black kimono. Yet despite his lack of armour, weaponry, and scars, he stood before him with a calm arrogance that raised his hackles, made him growl lowly in his throat.

If he had his Sai to hand, fingers would be flexing over the handles, ready for a fight. Ready to _end this!_

A malevolent smirk crossed the vile mans lips, "There's no need for that. You won't be able to harm me here."

Fists were clenching, unclenching and clenching again, but a small part of his brain couldn't help mulling over the man's words. The Shredder knew where they were, something that he himself did not, which meant that his enemy had the upper hand. That unnerved him greatly. Not that he'd ever admit to such a thing.

"You really don't know where we are...Do you?" The Shredder continued with malicious distain. "Yoshi really is a fraud if he can't even teach his students the basics properly. Nothing more than a pathetic, weak minded, poor excuse of a–!"

"–SHUT UP!" Raph roared, twitching, teeth grinding, twitching, bouncing on the balls of his feet, roiling, roiling, roiling with endless energy! "Master Splinter–!" He cricked his neck, huffing and puffing as, "–is a far better man–!" insane fury dominating the kiln. "–then you'll _**EVER BE!**_ "

The ferocious words bounced off the echoic walls, would have sent lesser men running for the hills. Yet despite the impressive array of muscles tensing under his command, his strained vocal chords and heaving chest, blood boiling with murderous intent; Shredder's smirk only widened in response.

"Your definition of _man_ is quite amusing…" He paused long enough to let that thought fester, "…we are talking about the same _**RAT**_ , aren't we?"

Raph seized up, a blazing furnace. _'How DARE he–?!'_

With that, he charged, fierce battle cry morphing into a yelp of surprise as his body phased harmlessly through his laughing target, rolling just in time to avoid crash landing into the surrounding black. Shock, stunned, baffled; panicking, panicking, panicking from his spot on the floor. What the–?!

"As I said." The Shredder half turned to face him, face brimming with smugness as he clasped his hands behind his back. "You can't hurt me here."

"Normally, all spirits are equal. All the things that influence our reality, money, power, social media; they have no say here." Raph gritted his teeth, seething, reluctantly paying attention to the lecture, "In its entire existence, no one has ever been able to tip that balance. To break the spirit realms only law. To take control over another spirit…" a malicious chuckle bubbled. "…Until now."

Emerald became impossibly wide. Fearless was the golden child, an 'A star' student when it came to all things spiritual. Raph couldn't hope to hold a candle in comparison, and never wanted to in that department at least – it honestly bored him to death! Even so, Leo had tried to explain it once when they were children, with all the patience of a saint. He described what having a spirit truly meant, how it was priceless and irreplaceable; the core value of who you were as a living entity, the one thing that stays with you forever. Then he tried to explain the devastating repercussions if one could manipulate such a treasure, the importance of meditation and the spirit realm itself – and the one law that could never be broken.

So, what Shredder was suggesting–!

"It's not possible!" Raph whispered under his breath.

He had to believe in that!

But as the Shredder turned his back on him, sauntering up to the sacred tree without a care in the world, Raph couldn't stop the unexplainable, primal, explosive fear that rattled him through and through. All he knew, with frightening clarity, was that he had to protect that tree! At any cost.

"Get away from there!" Raph scrambled after the Shredder, viciously swiping through the other again and again as if he were a ghost, unable to stop him as he made to grab an apple of his choosing, "Stop!" plucking it with ease to… "I said STOP–!"

...present it to him.

As he did so, Raph faltered, entranced, eyes wide as quivering saucers as they locked onto the glowing fruit, exposed and frightened as he wet crackled lips with an overly thick tongue. The wicked glare behind the glowing apple was penetrating, delving deep against his will; an invisible, clammy hand touching him at his core – a violation of an unspeakable kind.

And all he could do in retaliation was _feel!_ An overwhelming swell of sadness tackled by warmth that enveloped a much younger version of himself, breathing in deep the soothing scent of sandalwood as his face buried itself into soft, soft fabric. The sensation of being cradled by huge furry arms. It was as if he were trapped within one of his most precious memories – a rare moment, alone with his father…

" _I'm sorry d-d-daddy! I-I-I didn't mean to yell! O-O-Or to make Mikey cry! I-I-It just happens and I–!"_

" _It's alright." His father answered soothingly. "My brave little Raphael, it's alright. I promise you that–!"_

" _No. No more promises. Promises are for babies." Sniffling lingered, a sharp pang thwacked his heart. "They get b-broken all the time."_

 _And his father sounded genuinely surprised. "Who told you that?!"_

 _Another pang thwacked and then he could hear himself whimper…"D-Donnie."_

" _Hmmm. Donatello is smart in many ways, my son, but on this occasion – he is not…" A furry hand cupped a chubby cheek. "...Look at me, Raphael. Can you see?"_

 _And as he pulled himself away from the safety of his father's robes, he could see the reflective surface of a handheld mirror, showcasing his father embracing him from behind._

" _Eyes are the windows to the soul, no matter who you're facing. Family. Friends. Even enemies. No matter who it is – you can always see how truthful they are being, if you take the time to look deeply enough. For example…"_

 _Loving garnet locked with doubting emerald byway reflection in the mirror._

" _I promise you Raphael that, no matter how bad you think it is, you can always come to me. I will always do my best to help you, no matter what. I love you, my son." He held the mirror closer. "Am I telling you the truth? Will I keep my promise…?"_

 _And as he squinted, concentrating with all his might, Raphael could see it all. Kindness…Warmth…Understanding…Patience…And Unconditional Love, all swirled in a cocktail of garnet that tugged at his heart in an entirely different way. In a way that made him gasp out with desperate relief._

" _Y-Y-Yeah…Yeah ya are…"_

"How disgusting." The Shredder drawled, glaring at the apple as though it were diseased. "You won't be needing that."

And through cascading tears, half-dazed by the emotional onslaught of that memory, distraught emerald followed the fall of the golden apple, helpless to stop its crashing descent. The fake dojo shook violently as it hit one of the tatami mats, but nothing came close to the wrenching sensation deep inside of him as that discarded apple dulled into a lifeless lump.

Until the Shredder spared him a side glance, amusement dancing in blackened irises.

"We've got company."

***TMNT*** **END CHAPTER SIX** ***TMNT***


	8. Chapter Seven

***I tried to make this clear through the narrative of this chapter – but I'm gonna add these pointers here just in case anyone gets confused along the way***

 _Memories are written like this._

" _Memory-speech/talking is written like this."_

 ***Raph's thoughts _that the audience can hear_ are written like this.***

If a memory is being viewed on the outside by someone else – the writing will stay like this except for memory-speech. That'll be always be like _"THIS!"_

Hope that makes sense *GRINS*

Thankyou to everyone who has left me kind reviews so far, writers block has been a real pain for this one – mostly because it has a different style than all the other chapters and I've been plugging away at it for what feels like forever – trying get the flow/feels right! As always I've honestly tried my best – and I hope you guys enjoy it. The next chapter should be quicker as it eases back to a familiar type of writing style.

Chapter Seven: I might have lost my sanity with this one – it's somewhere in Raph's mind methinks – if you find it, please return it…

As always, all warnings are explained before the prologue.

Disclaimer: I do not own TMNTS – nor the cover pic. I make no money – just practising my flare of the dramatic with my favourite characters.

 **Collared Sai~yonara.**

Written By

Blazin Shadow.

***TMNT*** **CHAPTER SEVEN** ***TMNT***

"…Should I let them in?"

A sluggish mind took longer than normal to register the words his enemy had so casually spoken; the underlining threat that could not go unanswered.

"…This…" Raph hissed through clenched teeth, "…is between you…and me…"

And whether that sounded like a demand or a pathetic plea, it hardly mattered either way. The Shredder was ignoring him, plain and simple, too preoccupied with the majestic tree and all it had to offer. Spider-like digits teased their way through the leaves, and Raph felt cold dread pooling in the pit of his gut as they deftly plucked another apple from the tree. Lured in like a moth to a flickering flame, he was powerless to resist as the gleaming fruit was presented to him; a warped offering that forced him to _feel._

 _Colourful lights and sounds blared as the Space Heroes pinball machine danced to his older brother's tune, and Raph watched him apprehensively from the sidelines, keeping up appearances as best he could. It had taken a lot for him to brave this conversation, to approach Leonardo at all. Even now, beyond a cocky persona, Raph was grappling with the overwhelming urge to run, dropkicking the fierce need to lash out. He was going to see this through to the end, to confide in his older brother – for once!_

 _Instead of hiding everything._

 _So sick of hiding everything!_

" _So let me get this straight. You want me–" Ding! Ding! Ding! "–to allow you–" Ping! Ping! Ping! "–to make a suit?" Leo quizzed casually. "So you can what, go out playing vigilante every night…?"_

" _What are you gonna call yourself? The Night…Watchman," he continued breezily, eagerly following the ricocheting ball bearing, "to have your photo plastered on the front page of every newspaper; to be featured on the evening news? To have girls swoon as if you were some kind of hero?!"_

" _No!" Rah snapped, affronted._

 _Is that what Leo thought of him, as some sort of glory hog?!_

 _Stinging indents marked his palms. Irritable heat flared under forest green skin._

 _Did he even listen to a word he just said?!_

" _Look Raph, even if I could overlook the whole vigilante thing, which I can't by the way. I just, don't agree with this!" A mournful noise whirred from the machine as the ball bearing fell into the gutter, and Leo sighed heavily as he finally, FINALLY, glanced his way. "Not only would it risk your own safety, but the safety of this family as well, and–!"_

"– _That's what I'm trying to tell ya, bro!" Raph interjected, lifting up his rough sketches. "I won't be risking the safety of our family if no one can see me. If you would just look–!"_

 _But Leo had already turned away, firing up the pinball machine. Raph growled at the blatant dismissal, slamming the papers down on the glass, shoving them under his nose. Another ball bearing bit the dust, but neither brother cared._

"… _Raph."_

 _He could see it in his brother's eyes; could hear the refusal loud and clear in that one syllable alone, but he wasn't giving up._

" _Would ya just look!"_

" _Fine." Leo huffed, pupils scanning the images half-heartedly, "What have you drawn. A cape? Pants over tights…"_

 _In the pregnant pause that followed, Raph readied himself to fight his case. Though his brother, much to his surprise, let slip a smile…?_

 _Okay…_

… _Had he missed something?_

" _Good one, Raph." He could practically hear the laughter in Leo's voice as he handed the pictures back. "You really had me going there." His brother fired up the pinball machine with a tiny chuckle. "I mean, c'mon!" Sea blue twinkled with mirth. "A metal suit…?"_

 _Eye ridges crinkled, openly quizzical._

 _Well yeah. Metal protects better than spandex. Plus it looks bad ass and–!_

"… _All it's missing is the gauntlets."_

– _Come again?_

 _Confusion swiftly warped into something far more sadistic, a horrible sensation that made his gut lurch, yanking and wrenching away._

 _Leo thought he wanted to be like…l-like…!_

 _White hot flames flicked the very edges of his vision, fight or flight vying for control._

 _Did they all think that?!...Mikey…Donnie…D-Dad–!_

 _Sickness rolled; a scorching, thickened paste. It clogged up his fast shrivelling throat, insuring he walked instead of screamed as a sweaty fist crushed his drawings with ease._

The last thing that registered was hands gripping the rim of a toilet seat before the world blurred around him, porcelain and concrete switching out from under him. In their place a dojo mat and a pair of human feet greeted him, mere inches away from his face. Drenched in cold sweat and buckling, trying his damndest not to hurl, reality kicked in harsh.

He was hunched over, on hands and knees, before the Shredder.

And worse, he couldn't find the strength to change a thing.

"Thought you should know, I made my decision…" The Shredder simpered somewhere beyond his peripheral. "Those things, your _brothers,_ they could draw unwanted attention to this, and I can't have that…Who knows, you might just get to see them…"

Shaking his head from side to side, swallowing down lump after lump of persistent bile, Raph heaved himself somewhat upright, reeling from the sudden movement but determined all the same. Then a hand slammed down on his shoulder; a very solid hand.

He tried to shove it off. He _tried_ but _and he wasn't just imagining his crap but_ his hand phased through the Shredder. Actually phased through him! Just like before!

'… _Dammit! Where's Donnie when ya need him, huh…?!'_

A frustrated noise gurgled in the back of his throat.

Just _how_ was the Shredder able to touch him, when he himself appeared to be ghost-like?!

'… _This one sided crap is getting old…!'_

"Don't get up, the collar will take care of them…" The digits on his shoulder squeezed a silent warning, forcing a wince from him as they dug into painful pressure points. "…They won't miss much. In fact…"

Another apple was presented to him, and fear clawed its way to the forefront of Raph's mind.

Every iota of knowledge he possessed, every strength, every weakness, every secret, _everything!_ It was all out on display, hanging innocently in that tree, ready to be exploited.

And there was nothing he could do to stop it.

Not one single thing!

Eyes of steel gleamed triumphantly beyond the softly glowing fruit, as if they had read his very thoughts. A devious mouth rounded five words, the last thing he heard before the world contorted once more.

"…They won't miss a thing."

***TMNT***

Leo squinted hard, trying to understand, what had just happened. One minute he was hovering in the spirit realm alongside Donnie – a purple ball of light and Mikey – an orange ball of light. The next minute he was standing alone, minus his mask and gear, surrounded by oppressive darkness. The last thing he remembered was staring in abject horror at the scene before him; his missing brother, a red ball of light, trapped in black tendrils that connected him to a much darker spirit.

He immediately recognised it as the Shredder, even before a black tendril reached out to him in silent invitation. Something he accepted without a second thought.

And now…

" _If it's not you with an injury, it's Leo who broke the toaster, or the kettle, or whatever appliance he managed to get his hands on."_

Leo's head whipped to the right, hyperaware of the quiet grumbling, "…Donnie?"

But the voice continued on, _"Or Mikey who's blown up the TV, or smashed something in my lab."_

And then suddenly, the darkness before him lit up, showcasing Donnie under a spotlight, sitting on a stool with his back to him, head bent low as he worked on something he couldn't see.

"Whoa, D. It's you!" A disembodied voice cried, "Dude! How are we looking at you, when you're here?!"

"Mikey?!" Leo called out, trying to determine where his youngest brother was.

"Leo!" Mikey bounded into the spotlight across the way, pulling Donnie along with him. They too, had been stripped of their masks and gear. "I can't see you, bro. Can you see him, D?"

"Fascinating." The Donnie beside Mikey was too preoccupied, sliding a hand through the other Donnie's head with ease. "It appears to be some kind of hologram, or a projection. I've never seen one this life-like before."

"That's because it's a memory." Leo corrected, stepping into the light and round the scene to be closer to his brothers, "Raph's memory."

It was the only thing that made sense, but…

He had accepted a connection to the Shredder. He had expected to be led to him directly. To fight. Strength of will vs strength of will.

Not this…Randomness.

" _I swear for every one thing I fix, three more things get broken."_ The bitterness in Memory–Donnie's voice twisted into what Leo could only describe as a bad impersonation of Mikey, _"Donnie can fix anything!"_

"Wow, D. I gotta be honest with you." Mikey rubbed at his plastron, right atop his heart. "That hurts me bro, right here."

"I'm sorry Mikey, I don't even remember saying that!" Donnie was genuinely perplexed, "You sure this is a memory, Leo–!"

"– _I can handle it, Donnie."_ Another voice grunted, silencing the three spectators, _"I don't need ya nursing me."_

"…Yeah." Leo breathed, torn between paying attention to the brothers beside him and the memory as it spanned out, bringing more details to light.

Raph was suddenly slouched on a stool before Donnie, swollen knuckles being examined by expert hands. The lab table sat to one side of them, revealing glass shards on a metal tray coated in globs of blood, a bowl of warm water, towels, medical gauze, a stone cold pot of coffee, and a couple of chipped mugs.

" _I'm sorry,"_ Memory–Donnie's voice sounded anything but as tweezers dug into broken skin, _"what was that?"_

" _I said."_ Memory–Raph growled, louder than before. _"I can do this myself."_

" _Oh really?"_ Came a very un–Donnie–like sneer. _"Tell me then. How are you gonna successfully remove the remaining shards of glass hm? They're lodged in deep."_

A nasty retort practically rolled on the tip of Raph's tongue, waiting to be spat out as emerald narrowed menacingly. But then Memory–Donnie's head snapped up for the first time, revealing bloodshot eyes to them all...

 ***Geez Don, you're exhausted bro! Why didn't ya say somethin'?***

"Whoa!" Mikey exclaimed, mind completely blown. "You all heard that, right? Raph didn't even move his lips!"

"It's his thoughts Mikey." Leo calmly explained, reciting what Master Splinter had taught him. "We can hear them, but those in the memory can't– _WHOA!_ "

The three observers were suddenly plunged into darkness. The ground beneath them quaked. Leo lunged, heart in throat, grabbing a hold of a panicking Mikey, who still had one hand clasped onto Donnie.

Then it all stopped.

"What the Shell is going on, bro?!"

Leo remained silent as the truth pounded him as furiously as the blood that raced through his veins. _He didn't know!_ He had explored his own memories with Master Splinter once or twice, but never had they cut off mid-scene before, in such a brutal way. Never had the ground trembled beneath his feet. Never had he felt so out of control…

"No matter what you see." Leo ordered, thinking fast, "Keep your guard up. Shredder's in here somewhere. We have to be ready for anythi–!"

" _I know its Christmas,"_ a voice suddenly blared, overriding him, calling for his attention. _"But can I just, for five minutes?"_

Then Leo's jaw dropped, utterly gobsmacked, as he came face to face with a very flustered version – of himself…

…Wearing a _blue elf-hat!_

" _No ten! Ten minutes! Just to flick through! I mean it's–! It's –!"_

Fingers flexed with a bizarre combination of possessiveness and gentleness around the edges of a brand new 'Space Heroes' comic book, on the verge of self-combustion.

" _You have no idea how much this means to me! I have searched_ _everywhere_ _for this issue! EV–ER–Y–WHERE!"_

And Leo did remember, with painful clarity. It was issue no. 9 – Mission's End, the only one that had been missing from his ongoing collection; discontinued and non-existent in the retail world. He remembered the numerous occasions he had Donnie scour every online source he could think of in his quest to find it – but always came up empty. He had even risked going to Comic Con once, under a trench coat and bucket hat – only to bolt it at the last minute…

…Not that anyone else knew that!

" _He's not kidding, April."_ Memory–Mikey piped up, and the scene expanded before them.

Kirby and Master Splinter was sitting in the pit conversing quietly amongst themselves, orange elf– hat wearing Mikey was glued to the TV, playing the latest game that Leo couldn't remember the name of, while purple elf–hat wearing Donnie was balancing precariously on a rickety chair, tinkering with twinkling lights and tinsel. Christmas music played in the background, but was largely ignored.

" _How did you even get this?!"_ Memory–Leo continued babbling, almost bouncing on the balls of his feet. _"I've been looking for years!"_

" _Well I–!"_ April stood before him, reshuffling the few remaining presents in her arms. _"–Just got lucky…I guess."_

Leo watched himself as Memory–Leo nodded fiercely at her explanation, turned to see Master Splinter waving his approval, before grinning like a dork as he darted off in the direction of the bedrooms. April watched him go, before heading towards the kitchen…

The memory seemed to shift around her, so the three shadowed spectators followed her without having to move, the living room slowly morphing into the kitchen before their eyes. She loitered near the doorway, watching Raph set the table piece by piece, with Spike hitching a ride on his shoulder. Both were wearing red elf–hats, bringing a small smile to her lips.

" _You know he tolerates it just for you."_ She teased.

Emerald irises casually flicked towards the doorway to acknowledge the newcomer, pausing in his task.

" _Nah, he loves it really. Don't ya Spike!"_

April gave him a disbelieving look and Raph's smirk widened.

" _Hey! If I'm turtle enough to wear a stupid hat for the day, Spike is too!"_

Nothing more was said as Raph resumed setting the table at a snail's pace, yet despite the seemingly amicable silence, the kitchen's atmosphere had drastically changed.

"Is it just me?" Mikey suddenly stage whispered. "Or did the temperature drop to like – below freezing?"

"Shhhh!" Both Leo and Donnie ushered, glued to the scene before them.

"What?!" Mikey defended, "Don't tell me you can't feel the tension–!"

" _Listen, Raph."_ April shuffled the presents nervously. _"…I don't feel comfortable with this…"_

Her words died mid-sentence as Raph paused once more. Cutlery clattered noisily as a fist clenched around them.

" _Don't go weird on me, April,"_ Raph grunted, eyes fixed on the table. _"It's just a couple of presents."_

"Wait a minute…" Donnie murmured, and Leo was equally stunned.

" _But look how happy you made them!"_ April pushed, stepping up to the table as she confirmed what they had both just realised. _"Leo especially. He just squealed at me, Raph. Squealed!"_

Teeth mashed together as Raph's jaw tightened. A barely audible growl rumbled in warning.

" _Drop it, April."_

 ***I Knew I shouldn't have gotten her involved.***

" _But…?"_ April's confusion was plain for all to see, a feeling Leo shared. _"Why won't you–?!"_

" _Drop it!"_ Raph snarled more forcefully, throwing her a scathing glare.

 ***If they make the connection between the presents and what Jones and I get up to–!***

" _Fine!"_ She snapped. _"Here!"_

A present landed on the table between them, and Raph faltered, eyeballing the package as though it might explode.

" _Couldn't leave you out now, could I?"_ April rolled her eyes. _"That wouldn't look suspicious at all."_

*… **She…She got me a _** _ **present_?**_ *****

" _Don't go weird on me, Raph."_ She cocked her head with a mocking air, _"As you said…"_

" _It's just a present."_

Without warning the scene cut out, plunging them into darkness yet again! The ground rumbled beneath them momentarily, and before Leo, Donnie and Mikey could gain their bearings, another voice emerged from the darkness.

" _I wish you could talk to me, Spike. I could really use your advice, y'know…"_

Leo barely had time to process his brother's words before a spotlight revealed Raph sitting on the bed in his room with his feet planted on the floor, fiddling with something in his hands as he stared listlessly at the floor. Sitting on the bed to the left of him, was Spike.

" _I know it sounds stupid but, Master Splinter looks at me different from my brother's, and it's getting worse. I can't explain it but, but there's just something there! Something that, he won't speak about, y'know? Leo thinks I'm one step away from becoming some wannabe Shredder–!"_

"What?!" Leo spluttered. "No I don't!"

"– _Donnie thinks I'm this thing that needs to be fixed all the time! And Mikey–!"_ Raph deflated mid-rant, slumping ever so slightly. _"Mikey'll be okay…"_

"I've never thought that, you guys!" Leo denied, mortified that Raph had even considered–! "Not once!"

"… _I mean it's not like I wanna go or nothing,'" Raph confessed, "and I've been trying real hard to change things but…but I don't think I can fix this, and I can't stay where I'm not wanted, or feared! So…So, I'm gonna ask you a couple of questions, and I need ya to be totally honest with me. Okay Spike?"_

Leo's heart plummeted to the pit of his gut. He didn't like where this was going.

" _Chew on your leaf,"_ Raph gulped, placing the object in his hands before Spike. _"If you think I should stay…"_

And in that moment, three brothers watched on as Spike turned his beak up at the offering and hissed at him. HISSED!

" _You think I should go?!"_ The urgency was undeniable, pain flashing across Raph's features as he glanced down at his pet. _"I mean."_ He wetted dry lips as he composed himself, turning towards the smaller turtle as he stated. _"Chew on your leaf, if you think I should go…"_

Knuckles turned white at Leo's sides as that manipulative wretch of a creature took a large chunk out of the leaf – looking downright _smug_ as Raph bobbed his lowered head dejectedly, accepting it as truth and–!

*Bang! _Bang_! **BANG!** *

–Abruptly snapped out of it, jumping to his feet alarmed.

"… _huh?"_

" _Raph, open up! You'll never believe it bro! You were right!"_ The door swung open without preamble as Memory–Mikey bounded into the room, _"You were right, bro!"_

" _TheLuckyCharmsweregoneandtherewasthisletterand–!"_

" _Whoa! Slow it down Mikey!"_ Raph gripped his brother's shoulders in an attempt to ground him, confused by the manic babbling, _"Take a deep breath, and start from the top."_

Memory–Mikey nodded, giddy with excitement.

" _Well remember how Leo said that Leprechauns weren't real, and I was really_ _ **really**_ _upset about it!"_

" _Aha…"_

" _And how I was moping for days on end and how you smacked me round the head and said that if we left some Lucky Charms in the tunnels than a Leprechaun would reply!"_

"… _Yeah."_

" _And then we went into the tunnels and left a whole box of Lucky Charms!"_

" _Get to the point, Mikey!"_

" _Well I just went back there and…!"_ Baby blues sparkled with joy as he wedged a rumpled piece of paper between them, _"The Lucky Charms are gone! And I got a letter! I ran here as fast as I could so I could tell you first…"_ Memory–Mikey sucked in a huge breath. _"…Leprechauns are REAL!"_

The younger brother hugged the letter to his chest, and Raph watched him with a flicker of a smile.

 ***Heh. Who knew writing a letter would make him this happy?***

" _Oh, we need to write back now! Where's the pens?!"_ He started to tug at Raph's wrist. _"C'mon bro! C'mon! I need your help, dude! We gotta make it good. I mean look at this letter, Raph! Just look at it! Plucky went all out! He must've spent hours on it!"_

"… _Plucky, huh?"_ Raph grumbled, letting himself be pulled along.

" _That's his name."_ Memory–Mikey chimed, _"And he likes Lucky Charms and chilli dogs and–!"_

Memory–Mikey babbled on and on as he yanked Raph out of the bedroom, but the last thing Leo heard before the scene cut out, was vicious hissing coming from the bed.

Darkness swallowed them yet again and the ground shook beneath their feet, not that anyone cared this time. Leo didn't know what his brothers were thinking in that moment, only that he was lost in his own spiralling thoughts. They were solely divided between feeling guilty about Raph's emotional state, and feeling guilty about the whole leprechaun thing. Beyond that was strangely…vague…

"…Mikey…" He mumbled awkwardly, knowing that his youngest brother was close enough to hear him, "About…About what I said–!"

"No worries, bro." A wandering hand bumped at his plastron, and Leo squeezed it gently with his own, "If you hadn't…I wouldn't have this awesome pen-pal thing…going on with Raph…right now."

"Wait a minute…" Leo squinted, wishing he could see Mikey's face. "You mean to say…That you knew it was him…This whole time?"

"Well duh…Once Ice-Cream kitty's outta the bag…Y'know what I'm saying, bro…Plus, what kinda Leprechaun eats chilli dogs–?!"

"Hate to interrupt guys…but we gotta find...someone…?" Donnie stammered faintly. "…This place…it's so distracting…I can't even think straight–!"

" _Y'know you can trust me,"_ a strange voice called. _"It's not like I'll grass ya up."_

Suddenly the three brothers found themselves standing in a dingy alleyway behind a pile of unconscious bodies. Beside them stood a scrawny human teen with a pack load of bats, staring up at the shadowed fire escape. Nothing of interest appeared to be there, until their brother spoke.

" _It's not about trust, Jones…I already told ya–!"_

" _Yeah, yeah. I remember…"_ This Jones guy waved a hand dismissively. _"Life ain't worth living if you're caught out in the open."_

 ***There ya go, genius.***

" _But Sai, c'mon!"_ Arms flung wide with dramatic flair. _"It's been six months, man!"_

 ***Closer to nine.***

" _What's the big deal?"_

 ***Oh I don't know…The fact that you HATE mutant freaks!***

Eyelids slowly blinkered over sea-blue irises, brain rattling like rusty gears forced into action, clunking and jolting and grinding away.

Maybe it was Memory–Raph's harsh words, or maybe it was Donnie stating the obvious, or maybe it was the fact that he finally twigged that the real Raph was still missing! Whatever it was, it gave Leo the inner strength to tear his gaze away from the mesmeric scene, to pull back from the oh-so-subtle, underhanded lure. To drag his dazed younger brothers along with him…

" _Look!"_ Raph snapped. _"If you wanna end our little arrangement, then fine, go! But if you still wanna do this, then you know the drill–!"_

"…Listen up, guys." Leo stated, fighting the overwhelming urge to look back at the scene. "Donnie's right…This whole thing is just…one big distraction…Look at me!"

" _Yeah, yeah."_ Jones retorted mockingly. _"No faces! No names! No questions asked!"_

" _Exactly!"_ Raph sneered impatiently. _"So quit asking!"_

"…So no matter what we see… Or hear…Or feel." Leo forced eye contact with baby blue first, then chocolate brown, drawing them out of the strange funk. "We've got to concentrate…on locating Raph's spirit. We've got to…Empty our minds, and find him together…Take my hands…And close your eyes…Keep them closed…Focus on each other…No matter what…"

Hand in hand, standing shoulder to shoulder in circular formation, three brothers closed off to the world around them; fought back for control.

" _Fine! It's not like I wanna look at your ugly mug anyway!"_ Jones spat. _"It's not like we're friends or nothin'!"_

"…Focus on Raph's spirit…" Leo intoned, his words sparking a mental barrier against the memories. "…Rebellious…Hot-headed…Fierce–!" The ground shook beneath their feet. Ignore it, Leo!

 ***What a surprise.*** Raph's thoughts boomed. ***Splinter Jr. went tattling and I don't get a say at all!***

Lights began flickering beyond closed eyelids, but amongst the chaos, he could almost hear sensei's voice within, guiding him.

'… _Do not succumb, Leonardo. Reach out to your brothers. Let them reach out to you in turn. Use your combined strength. Find your missing brother…'_

"…Loyal…"

 ***That's right, Fearless. Get back in your bubble, like the good little hero you are.***

"…All round badass…" Mikey piped up.

 ***Hell would freeze over long before Master Splinter would ever consider listenin' to me.***

"…Stubborn to the core…" Donnie added.

 ***What's the point in all this training if we're stuck in the shadow of your fear?!***

"...Slayer of monsters…"

 ***Why won't you listen to me?!***

The ground quaked more furiously than ever before. Lights flickered manically from all sides. The world spun at a sickening pace…

…As if they were trapped in the eye of a 5.0 hurricane.

"…Leo." Mikey whimpered.

 ***You can't stop me!***

"Ignore it. Don't stop." Leo's calm forced the turbulence back. "…Pillar of strength…"

 ***What did I do this time, huh?! Breathe too loud!***

"…No turtle left behind…" Donnie murmured. "…That's our rule…"

 ***You're nothing but a warped monster!***

"You hear that, Raph? We're not leaving without you." Leo mumbled, "Can you hear us, bro?"

 ***A Deranged!***

'… _Can you feel our presence, brother…?'_

 ***Hideous!***

"…Raph…"

 ***Freak!***

"RAPHIE!"

Three spirits willed it with all their combined might, three souls connecting as one, three auras that reached out with one, proverbial, hand.

And…

..

.

"THERE!"

Leo grinned triumphantly as they smashed through the sound barrier as one, expelling that intrusive snare with ease. A deafening mute was left in its wake, with a low, droning beep running along its undertone. Nobody cared as they soared like a shooting star blazing across the sky, zoning in on their target. Blue, purple and orange reached out as one once more…

…Only to collide with a solid black wall, splintering three ways as they skittered like pebbles.

"…Ow dudes…" Mikey moaned to the left of him, sprawled flat on his back. "…Truck…Licence…"

"…The Heck…" Donnie groaned to the right of him, curled on one side. "…Was that…?! _Urgh!_ "

Huffing and puffing plastron down, Leo glowered up at the smooth wall before him. It was yet another obstacle, a cowardly barrier stopping them from finding their brother and facing the Shredder head on. He tried to calm himself down, to think in a rational manner and to tackle the situation like a good leader should, but then three red lights pulsated mockingly upon said wall, blaring the Foot Clan symbol like one giant advertisement. Leo leapt to his feet and stomped towards the blockade, vibrating with an untameable fury normally associated with Raph and Raph alone. He was going to smash through that barrier if it was the last thing he did and–!

"We can't let you do that." Leo froze. Was that, _April's voice?!_ "You are not permitted to interfere at this most – delicate time."

"You will be summoned when The Master is ready for you."

Whirling round, he was stunned to come face to face with their only human friend, standing under a spotlight, knowing that there was no way on this planet that _April O'Neil could possibly be here!_

"April!" Donnie cried, leaping to his feet just as Mikey did.

"Stay back, guys!" Leo ordered. "It's not her!"

"Your companion is correct, Mutant." The fake 'April' confirmed. "We are not April O'Neil."

"Then who are you?" Mikey asked.

"We," 'April' corrected, pointing to her chest, "are a colony of Leera. We apologise for the deception, but most cannot see our true form, so we tried to keep you visually entertained while you waited for The Master. But you shunned those efforts." 'April' shrugged casually, as if it was of little consequence. "We hope that taking the form of someone you recognise will be more comforting to you. Though…We can become someone else, if you prefer?"

Before Leo could even wrap his mind around the momentous amount of information flung their way, 'April' suddenly became smoke-like as she morphed into 'Karai'.

"There." 'Karai' stated. "Is this better?"

"Errr…"

Despite knowing that it wasn't the real Karai standing before them, cheeks flamed as the imposter gave him _that look!_

"I vote for April." Donnie deadpanned, arms crossing over his plastron.

"Sorry bro," Mikey spared Leo a 'please don't hate me' glance, "but I vote April too."

"As you wish." 'Karai' said with an air of indifference, fluidly morphing back into 'April.' "While you wait, ask us what you will. You cannot change the outcome, so you see – we have no need to lie."

Leo kept a wary gaze upon Leera. After so many hurtles, this sudden transparency was unnerving – alarm bells screaming 'trap' in every sense of the word. But he wouldn't let it show, masking said uncertainty behind a smooth poker face.

"…Okay then." Leo licked his parched mouth with an equally dry tongue. "What do you want with our brother?"

"We," Leera pointed to herself again, "live such short, pointless lives. Three to five Earth days on average; but our ability to latch on is legendary. Once attached, there is very little one can do to remove us. The Creator sought to use this ability in his technology, in exchange for extending our lifespan exponentially. We have to stay with our host of course, inside the technology, but it's a small price to pay for survival, wouldn't you agree?"

"And your host is…?" Donnie breathed, gulping anxiously, "…Raph?"

'April' nodded.

"If we release him, then the technology fails." 'April' explained tonelessly. "If the technology fails, we die, and we can't have that."

'… _If what she says is true…'_ Leo thought, rattled to the core, _'…then we can't reason with her…'_

"No April, I mean Leera!" Mikey bounded up to 'April' until he was practically on top of her, wide-eyed and pleading _and far too close for comfort!_ "There has to be another way, dudette! We can find another way! We could–!"

Leo caught up and clamped down on Mikey's bicep, silencing the youngest as he yanked him back, widening the space between them and their enemy.

"How is The Shredder involved in all of this?" Leo demanded coldly, keeping one hand firmly planted on Mikey while he kept Donnie in his peripheral even as he stared down 'April'. "Is he The Creator?"

"No." 'April' answered, unfazed in the face of hostility. "He is The Master."

"Is it Stockman then?" Donnie interjected. "Baxter Stockman?"

'April' shook her head softly; a negative. At that confirmation, Leo shared a worried glance with his smartest brother.

'… _Great, so there's a new player involved. Just great…'_

"If The Creator is so great," Mikey cried, "why don't you latch on to him?!"

"You really are a foolish creature," 'April' murmured as she slowly sidled up to them, lifting a delicate hand. "Cute, but foolish."

The back of said hand settled on Mikey's cheek, a mere brush of contact before it was slapped down, rejected. Not that she seemed overly concerned.

"The Creator desires an army of unlimited power, one that will fight his war without question. This–!" Her arm gestured to the wall behind them, "– is merely the first trial in obtaining that goal. If it is successful, then The Creator will create many more, and we Leera will thrive in ways we could never imagine!"

"And The Shredder?" Leo questioned. "What does he get out of this little arrangement?"

"Vengeance." 'April's' answer was immediate, and of no surprise to the three brothers. "He seeks to destroy a rat, by any means necessary."

A scowl marred Leo's features at the blatant disrespect of their father and sensei. Violent tremors reverberated under the hand that grasped Mikey's bicep. Ragged gasps tainted the daunting silence around them.

And then she spoke again…

"While we wait, we can show you any memory you want." 'April' suggested lightly. "Is there nothing you wish to see?"

'… _Was she insane…?!'_

Leo could feel his composure slipping as he snapped, "No–!"

"–Yes!" Donnie countered simultaneously, trying his best for charm as he wedged himself between 'April' and his two brothers. "There is one thing we'd like to see."

"Donnie what are you doing–?!" Leo hissed furiously.

'… _We can't be sucked back in…!'_

"We have to know what happened to Raph – that night." Donnie sounded strangely meek. "This may be the only chance we get."

'… _But it's not worth the risk, Donnie…!'_

As if knowing what he was thinking, Donnie threw him a pointed look over his shoulder, one that 'April' could not see. Heated pupils flicked to the wall behind Leo and back again, glaring all the more. It was only a split seconds worth – but the leader got the message loud and clear.

'… _It's a distraction, dummy! Find a weak point…Exploit it…Break through and find Raph…!'_

"You know we have to do this…" Donnie's subdued countenance was almost begging. "…Right?"

'… _Trust us…!'_

However much he despised the idea, Leo reluctantly conceded; a minute bob of his head and nothing more. Yet it was enough. A spark of awareness glittered chocolate irises, before Donnie faced 'April' once more.

"Leera, was it?" Donnie stepped forward, staring down 'April' as best he could. "There's only one thing we wanna see, a couple of months back – the night our brother was stabbed–!"

"– _ **Stabbed?!**_ "

A sharp wail tore out of Mikey's mouth, and Leo comforted him as best he could. The commotion was largely ignored by Donnie and 'April' as the smartest turtle shrugged flippantly.

"Unless you're all talk...?" Donnie added; a mere afterthought.

At the slighting of her abilities, 'April' visibly twitched. She sized Donnie up first, and then shifted onto a distressed Mikey. Leo could practically feel that lecherous gaze as it briefly raked over his own body last, before snapping back to Donnie.

"Well of course." Her voice was sickeningly sweet, head tilted just so. "We did say any memory."

With that she clicked her fingers, and they were all plunged into darkness. Raph's voice became all consuming as it boomed…

" _I'm gonna go grab some more popcorn, this bag's a dud. Look, the seam's split! I'll be gone twenty, thirty minutes tops! Carry on without me!"_

 ***This had better be important, Jones!***

…Leera's hypnotic light reached out, taking a hold of Donnie and Mikey with no resistance…

 ***Fearless is gonna kill me.***

…Before reaching out to Leo…

" _What happened to you, Jones?! Where's Jelly-Bean?! Where is she Jones?!"_

…Leo kept his hooded stare lowered, fixated on the grooves of Donnie's carapace, closing himself off to the world…

" _T-T-They snuck up from behind us, Sai! We never saw 'em comin'–!"_ Jones's voice wavered – as if it physically hurt to talk. " _T-T-They don't come back! The kids they take, they don't come back! They don't come back and they took her a-a-a-nd–! …Dude…? They got me real good…cause I swear ya look…green?"_

…Focusing on Raph's spirit once more…

"… _Wait a minute…"_ Jones mumbled incredulously, borderline hysterical. _"You're GREEN?! That's the big secret?! You're…You're a _Mutant__ _ **FREAK!**_ _Y-Y-You!…YOU STAY AWAY FROM MY SISTER! I'll get her back MYSELF–! Urgh–!"_

…Rebellious…Hot-headed…Fierce…

" _Dammit Jones! The only thing you're gonna do is get to our meet point,"_ Raph snapped. _"I promise you I'll find her!"_

…Rejecting the lure…

" _Hate me all you want after–!"_ Raph growled.

…And praying that his sleight of hand would go unnoticed as the scene played out for his ensnared brothers…

"– _But I swear I'll get her back!"_

…

..

.

'… _I'm coming for you, Raph…!'_

***TMNT***

Donnie felt physically sick. It was the only way to describe the horrid sensation that squirmed low in his gut, refusing to let up. He had watched his brother argue with friend turned Mutant-Phobic – if that could even be considered a term. He had watched his brother following faded tire tracks at a good pace – nowhere near as fast as 'bloodhound' Leo, but fast enough to impress the resident genius. He had watched his brother enter a seemingly harmless warehouse, _alone_ , only to discover a secret bunker of some kind hidden deep underground. He had watched his brother snarling like a rampant beast as he entered said bunker, dripping with a cargo load of Shuriken and smoke bombs and _was that Manriki he had wrapped around his plastron?!_ Since when had Raph mastered those?!

 _*_ Crunch!*

The stray thought escaped him as a couple of smoke bombs hit the deck, filling up the brightly lit corridor with dense, purple smog…

 _*Thwack! Thwack! Thwack!*_

Two guards went down for the count.

 _*Thwack! Thwack! Thwack!*_

Another pair followed suit.

 _*SMASH!*_

Double doors leading to who knows what flew right off their hinges, screeching across the once spotless floor. Billowing plumes followed at an alarming rate, rolling until every square inch was smothered. Men screamed their cowardice and confusion, stumbling blindly for the exits. Shuriken pierced the smog with surgical precision – not aimed to maim but aimed to round them up.

One by one those herded men yelped in fright, and though Donnie's sight was rendered useless by the smog, his sense of hearing was not. Heavy chains clinked and jangled and rattled, grinding high above their heads. Grinding against…metal?

Donnie squinted through the mess of slowly thinning smog; could barely make out silhouettes now. Nine shadows dangled like a giant sized Newton's cradle, whilst the last one circled them at a snail's pace. Slow. Deliberate. Designed to intimidate.

…Thud…Thud…Thud…

" _I'm only gonna ask this once_." A deep tenor rumbled out of the smog, low, without mercy and sent a thrill of terror down Donnie's spine – for how in the world was this _ _their_ _ brother?! _"Your men dragged a girl in here tonight, and I wanna know where she is."_

…Thud…Thud…Thud…

" _So I'm asking ya'll nicely; Where. Is. She?"_

...Thud…Thud…Thu–!

"– _They're not our men!"_ A wimp of a voice cried out.

Thud! Thud! Thud!

 _*WHAM!*_

A hanging shadow, second to the left, squealed like a stuck pig; swinging out of place like a battered piñata.

"– _Don't get cute!"_ Raph snapped impatiently, aggressively, sneering as he dragged the blubbering lump back in line. _"Don't make me ask again!"_

A dreaded blip of time passed before the gruff voice boomed.

" _I_ **SAID** _–!"_

"– _Through those doors!"_ Another nameless man wailed. Thud! Thud! Thud! _"Take a l-left at the end of the corridor, t-then a right at the end of that corridor. It's where all n-newbies are s-s-sanitized before they go into their capsules and–ohmygodpleasedonthurtme!"_

Even through the smog Donnie could detect the telltale glint reflecting off of his brother's most beloved weapon; the Sai.

" _If you're lying to me…?"_ The threat was left hanging in the stagnant air.

The dangling man heaved, snivelling all the more. _"I-I-I swear on my kids l-l-lives–!"_

" _You have _kids_?!"_ Raph spat.

 ***You make me sick!***

" _Please let us go! They'll come after us! We're as much prisoners as they are!"_

But his brother's shadow had already turned its back on them, was taking heavy strides to the other end of the room.

" _Explain it to the cops."_ He callously flung over his shoulder.

"He truly is a warrior…" The voice of Donnie's dreams murmured to the left of him, slivering through the lures enticing grip. "…We can see why you don't want to lose him."

'… _No you don't…'_ Donnie thought _, '…You only see a body you can leech off of – but he's my brother…'_

And though Donnie wanted to verbalise those thoughts till he hammered them through Leera's thick skull – he knew that now wasn't the time. He had to keep Leera's focus on him and this memory, praying that Leo had already snuck away but having no way to check without tipping off the enemy. He daren't look over his shoulder.

" _Hey there…"_

Raph was suddenly crouched low in some sort of wet room, making himself as gentle and unimposing as possible. He reached out to a young girl, no more than seven years old, who cowered against the back tiled wall. Pale skin shimmered under torn clothes, glistening with sweat. Dark hair was mussed, framing chubby cheeks. Frightened blue eyes watched him like cornered prey.

"… _You wouldn't happen to be Jelly-Bean. Would ya?"_

Unconscious guards lay bruised and bleeding on either side of them. Donnie subconsciously clocked four before the girl whimpered loudly, curling in on herself. Raph's hand snapped back, fidgeting on the balls of his feet.

"… _Okay…I won't touch ya…"_ Three-fingered hands were raised in surrender, trying to catch her eye. _"…But listen. Your brother sent me to find you and–!"_

"– _LIAR!"_ The little girls face twisted as fat tears rolled down rounded cheeks. _"My brother would never trust a m-mutant…"_

Curling further inwards, hiding from the world as best she could, Donnie could barely make out the rest of her muffled cry.

"… _mutants killed our m-m-mum!"_

Donnie flinched, feeling a very foreign emotion battering against his ribcage even as Raph's thoughts echoed.

 ***…Out of all the things you neglected to tell me, Jones…!***

" _I won't touch you…"_ Raph repeated softly – as if her words had no affect on him, baritone thrumming as soothingly as possible, _"but I need you to get up. Can you do that for me…?"_

The little girl remained curled up in a ball, and Raph reshuffled his bulk as he canted his head, reaching out as patiently as he could.

" _All I wanna do is get you back to your brother."_ Protective emerald finally locked with waterlogged, peeking blue. _"I promise I won't hurt you – just. Just walk with me, okay. I'll keep you safe…"_

The little girls head eventually rose up, contemplating, body language shifting as if she was going to co-operate, but then her features contorted into that of pure terror. Raph backed off, countenance switching from shame to outrage as he detected the new arrivals blocking the doorway; directly behind him.

A sweeping low kick had all three attackers landing flat on their backs. One strike to the head! Two strikes! Three!

 _*Thump! Thump! Thump!*_

Pitiful moaning and groaning met his efforts. Three bodies writhed on the floor in pain. Raph paid them no mind – turning to the little girl who now stood on shaky legs, face set with grim determination. Raph moved to one side, relief splashing his features as she took a few halted steps towards the exit, comically stunned when a petite hand slipped into his much larger one and squeezed – tugging him along as if they were best buds.

Donnie was amazed as he continued to watch, but not in a good way. He knew Raph would remain stubborn and defiant to the last – just to prove a point, but this was insane! Body after body fell to the ground as Raph 'escorted' Jelly-Bean down one corridor after another, cracking jokes and laughing as though it was play time instead of the dangerous rescue mission it truly was. Arrogant. Cocky. Ignorant to the consequences of failing to escape.

And worse still; his bull-headed, oaf of a brother hadn't called for backup. He hadn't even considered it. Not once!

"We will take care of him." Donnie froze as deceptively soft digits grazed his left cheek. It took everything in his power not to respond to the sensual touch. _This isn't April!_ "Once the transition's complete – We promise to keep him in good health. He just needs to stop fighting it."

'… _By Darwin's beard…'_ The stray thought clipped him. _'…There's still time–!'_

"D-D-Donnie!" Mikey suddenly pressed in on his other side, terrified. "These people are sick!"

It was as if memory–Raph had heard them, even though Donnie knew that _that_ was impossible.

" _Don't look."_

Jelly-Bean was scooped up in strong arms, head ducked low as Raph darted across the now smog-less room, bypassing the hanging men, eager to see the back of it all. Wires trailed from a bolt load of machinery to cylinder tubes that lined two of the four walls. Each one was filled to the brim with murky green fluid. And…Suspended within each tube…

…Children.

Mikey pressed in minutely closer, seeking comfort in his older brother. Donnie wanted to hurl.

Two brothers watched in a sickened daze as Raph sought refuge on a nearby rooftop, within sight of the warehouse. A T-Phone was brought into view and Donnie breathed a sigh of relief, thinking for the briefest moment that his brother was at last calling one of them for backup. But no, he corrected, that didn't make sense – considering what memory this was.

" _52_ _nd_ _street, Brooklyn Hangar."_ Raph grunted, wedging the phone between cheek and shoulder. _"Police, ambulances, and someone real smart."_

A slight snuffle pulled Raph's attention to the exhausted girl in his arms, shushing her before talking again.

" _There's a secret lab under the warehouse. They've got kids floating in these things and–!"_

Raph abruptly paused, as if someone had cut him off.

" _Whaddaya mean 'wasting police time!' Listen sweetheart–!"_ Righteous fury blazed within emerald irises as he was cut off yet again! _"You think I don't know how crazy this sounds–!"_

Raph began pacing back and forth, back and forth. He was so distracted by the person on the other end of the line that he didn't even notice the black vehicle that quietly rolled up on the shadowy road below. But Donnie did. He watched as a man casually got out of said vehicle, surveying the warehouse from its parked position. Donnie could only see the back of his concealed form – but even that was enough for inner alarm bells to start ringing…

" _Fine! Arrest me then!"_ Anger and frustration laced Raph's words, completely oblivious. _"Just get down here and do your job–!"_

 _*KABOOOOOOOOOOOM!*_

" _WHAT THE SHELL?!"_ Raph exclaimed, pocketing his T-Phone as he raced to the rooftop's edge.

The warehouse collapsed in on itself. Debris scattered every which way. Dust clouds expanded. The sound was deafening, but nothing could override the ear-splitting scream that erupted from Jelly-Bean. It was enough to attract the attention of the shady man down below, whose head suddenly twisted in an unnatural way, glaring up at them.

"It's a Kraang!" Mikey cried, pointing wildly.

Unaware of his audience – both inside and outside of the memory, whiteness glazed over scorched, quivering emerald, consumed by the destruction. The need to investigate and avenge was written all over Raph's face – when arms tightened around his neck. Donnie could see Raph's internal struggle as the whiteness flickered, before dying altogether.

 ***Get Jelly-Bean back to Jones first, and then come back!***

" _Okay, it's time to go."_ Raph took a couple of steps away from the edge. _"Hang on real tight, okay. We've got a long way to go."_

Spinning one-eighty, Raph ran away from the wreckage, carrying his precious cargo close to his plastron. But as Raph melted into the shadows of the night, Donnie wanted to scream a warning to his brother.

For that one single Kraang had abandoned its car, to tail his unsuspecting prey.

***TMNT*** **END CHAPTER SEVEN** ***TMNT***


	9. Chapter Eight

For everyone who has left me wonderful reviews, has fav'ed or followed this fic – thank you for taking the time to read this fic. I won't ramble on because I know how long this has taken me to put up!

Chapter Eight: The pieces are finally coming together, but it just occurred to me that one of the characters has become OOC because the 2012 version of him is somewhat good – which was just wrong! Hmm…Hope you guys still like this chapter.

As always, all warnings are explained before the prologue.

Disclaimer: I do not own TMNTS – nor the cover pic. I make no money – just practising my flare of the dramatic with my favourite characters.

 **Collared Sai~yonara.**

Written By

Blazin Shadow.

***TMNT*** **CHAPTER EIGHT** ***TMNT***

'… _It's official. My bro's a superhero…'_

In truth, it was like watching one of his beloved comic books come to life! The dark and brooding Raphael, _one_ of four raised underground, _trained_ in the art of invisibility, _hidden_ from the world of humans, _destined_ to remain secret from all that could never understand. A soldier that, in the end, defied his father's will in a bid to rid the world of bad guys who were sick enough to experiment on their own kind.

And now, after all that chaos, hours of calm flashed by with Mikey struggling to take it all in. His big bro jumping from one grimy rooftop to the next. Crossing the shadowed underbelly of Brooklyn Bridge. Making his way north via lower Manhattan. All of this achieved with a slumbering Jelly-Bean in tow.

But the mistakes Raph was making. The mistakes he was _making!_ The way he juggled his load and clanged against rickety fire escapes. The lack of stealth as he raced along countless rooftops. The heaviness of his footsteps and his ragged breathing–h-h-he! His brother __dammit Raphie!__ was exhausted! He _needed_ help! Mikey slapped freckled cheeks in frustration. It was so stupid! _Stupid!_ **STUPID!**

Not only did his big bro fail to call them for backup, but he was __still_ _ being tailed!

And worse: He STILL. _DIDN'T._ **KNOW!**

 _ **WAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!**_

Yet there was nothing the youngest could do. Not here with Memory-Raph, nor, he realised with an aching pang, out there with the real Raph. Like a mouldy slice of pizza, he had become sloppy and useless, the most _pitiful-ist_ **slash** _not-needed_ thing to have ever existed! Compare that to Leo and Donnie, who had managed to concoct some sort of plan without forming actual words, right over his head and under the watchful eye of Leera herself…?

Well, there really was no comparison.

Mikey secretly envied them for that. Leo and Donnie were level-headed, strategic and smart, so in sync with each other it was almost disturbing. So why bother asking them to it slow down just to let lil' ol' Mikey in on it? It's not like they needed his input or–?!

– _ **WHOA!**_

Three knives shattered his internal deprecation, slicing through the very air itself. Zipping passed with near inaudible _'thwipping'_ sounds, they were small and undetected, soaring towards the unprotected back of Memory-Raph – who had just launched himself off of a rooftop; _right into the line of fire!_

' _DUDE!'_

Baby blues bulged as he bellowed out "RAPHIE!" with all his might. Memory-Raph didn't react, obviously, but an olive skinned arm wrapped around his plastron from behind, tugging the youngest turtle close. It did little to comfort him. In the end, nothing could stop it.

" _ARGH!_ "

Two knives tore through dark green flesh, the third jamming itself in his side. All three hit their marks simultaneously, and though Raph squirmed in obvious pain, he managed to curl around Jelly-Bean as they descended. Ducking, tumbling, skidding across the asphalt; two bodies rolled till they smashed against the neighbouring rooftops' edge. Mikey lurched, heart pounding at the sight.

"CHEAP SHOT!" He roared.

The hold on his plastron tightened in response, calm, logical, solid and reliable. "There's nothing we can do, Mikey."

'… _I. Don't. Care…!'_ Hands clamped down on Donnie's forearm in turn. _'…Don't care! Don't care! Don't CARE! Screw your logic, D! I_ DON'T _ **CARE**_ _…!'_

"LET ME AT HIM!"

"There's nothing we can _do!_ " Donnie hissed insistently. "This has already happened!"

"…But…" Mikey felt the comforting press of Donnie's forehead against his temple, and grudgingly quietened down, knowing deep down that his genius of a brother was right, as usual: but still… _'…This can't be real…!'_

Before them, the lone attacker had landed on the rooftop. Raph sprung up to fight him, only to stagger, hiss, and glare down at his side. Blood-coated steel dragged along flesh as the knife was brought up to eye level. Then it was dropped, clattering on the asphalt, discarded. The damage it had inflicted was blatantly ignored in favour of glowering at the fool that was stupid enough to attack him.

Only for Raph to blink, double blink, then triple blink in shock.

 ***What the…?!***

" _Ain't it a little late for you, Kraang?_ " The name was spat out like a curse as pupils darted frantically about, scouring for enemies, withdrawing his Sai. Ready. " _Where's the rest of your posse?_ "

 ***I ain't got time for this now!***

Eye ridges furrowed further as the stray Kraang stood across the way. Silent. Statue-like.

" _Well…?_ " Raph sneered impatiently, spinning his weapons before jabbing them in the direction of his enemy. " _TALK!_ "

The lone Kraang merely raised a questioning eyebrow at the display.

 ***The Shell is it playing at?!***

Behind Raph, Jelly-Bean was a whimpering mess on her knees; cold and lost and _wanting-to-go-home!_ Mikey watched as his brother visibly twitched, hyper aware of the pitiful sound. Even as he lowered himself into a pre-fighting stance, a canine glinting alongside an equally threatening snarl, he was hesitant, torn, struggling to prioritise. Mikey knew what his brother was thinking, even without Leera's Voodoo. He daren't turn his back on an enemy, even if it was a lone Kraang bot. On the other hand, whimpering sounds continued plucking at heartstrings, and Mikey knew that Raph couldn't let her see this. He had to get her home…

 ***DAMMIT!***

" _You! Stay there!_ " Raph barked towards the Kraang.

With that he dropped down to Jelly-Bean's side, sheathing his weapons as he did so.

" _Hey, kid. You okay?_ "

 ***Need to change the plan!***

"… _Y-y-yeah…_ "

Emerald snapped up at that, locking harshly onto owlish blue, searching the girl's face for any trace of deception. Finding none, skepticism softened into relief as he forced a cheap cell into small, trembling hands. With his forehead almost touching hers, Raph kept his voice inconspicuously low.

" _You're gonna take this cell and call the number, there's only one on it, see. And I need you to, ah…"_

 ***C'mon Raph, what would Fearless do?***

Pulling away just long enough to take a quick peek over the rooftops' edge, eyes lit up as they spotted a small diner; a '24/7' neon sign blaring from its window.

 ***Perfect.***

" _I need you to climb down the fire escape and wait for Jones, inside the diner across the street. Call him, and tell him where you are. Can you do that?_ "

She nodded once more, more confident than before, and Raph whispered words of encouragement as he helped the girl to her feet. Guiding her towards said fire escape, he scowled at the Kraang every step of the way.

But the Kraang stayed back, passive, and Raph was too tired to try and figure out why. Mikey could see it in the slight slumping of broad shoulders and the heavy dragging of muscled limbs, like it took an enormous amount of energy just to keep going. Every other footstep revealed worrying specks of blood, squelched between foot and asphalt. It trickled in small globs down one outer leg, stemming from the neglected gash in his side. Mikey had seen it, and he knew that the Kraang had spotted that weakness just by the way it glanced over the rim of its sunglasses. So what the Shell?

Why in the world would a single Kraang go to the trouble of hunting down its last human experiment, only to watch her walk away? Just why Kraang bot dude, why? It makes no sense?!

'… _It's a set-up...'_ Some part of his brain supplied, and Mikey scoffed at the ominous baritone. _'…Well Duh…!'_

Mikey knew _that_ without a shadow of a doubt. Yet he couldn't pinpoint the play. What was it waiting for? More Kraang?

" _You still here?_ " Raph questioned tiredly, finally tearing his gaze from the street below to glare at his other problem.

 ***Damn thing's creeping me out.***

" _Look! I dunno what your game is but you…urgh…_ " Hands braced against kneepads as Raph suddenly doubled over.

"… _I'll kick yer ass…"_ He wheezed, a single digit rising in a sign that meant 'wait,' _"…just gimme…gimme a minute…alright pal…_ "

 ***You ain't that tired, bonehead! Quit looking like a fool and stand!***

" _Fascinating,_ " the Kraang finally spoke, cocking its head to one side. " _You're lasting longer than expected._ "

A tremor rippled down Mikey's spine at the clinical coldness, a sentiment shared as Donnie clenched at his plastron and Memory-Raph shuddered before them, blinking warily up at the Kraang.

"… _huh?_ "

" _You weigh what, two-hundred pounds? Give or take."_ The Kraang mused, more to confirm what it already knew as opposed to seeking an actual answer. " _With the exertion displayed tonight, carrying an extra forty-five pounds for precisely two hours, forty-seven minutes and twenty-three seconds – combined with the strength of my concoction now surging through your veins…"_ It paused just long enough to gaze critically at one of its knives. _"…You shouldn't be standing."_

" _yyyyooooouuuuu!_ " Raph breathed, rage dampened as that one syllable dragged. His head drooped between shoulder blades. _Pant! Pant! Pant!_

 ***What did it** _ **DO**_ **to me?!***

"Raph's not showing any side effects of poison or venom." Donnie murmured lowly. "It has to be some kind of anaesthetic. A knock-out drug."

Mikey cringed at the detached analysis, _'…Not helping, D…!'_

 ***It's been tailing me since Brooklyn Hangar!*** Realisation slammed Raph in that exact same moment, his panicky thoughts booming. ***It's after Jelly-Bean!***

Mikey watched with frozen awe as his big bro forced his body upright, veins bulging under the mounting strain, carapace banging against the ledge as he staggered. White-knuckled fists came up, regardless.

 ***Dammit Jones where are you?! Come get her already!***

"… _i-won't…_ " _Pant! Pant! Pant!_ Raph's plastron heaved as he struggled to stay standing. _"…i-won't let you t-take her!_ "

" _Her!_ " The Kraang echoed, clearly amused. "I just watched you tear through my complex like it was tissue paper." It pocketed its sunglasses with a little flourish. _"You really think I'm interested in the girl?_ " The Kraang shook its head incredulously, " _Oh no. Not her…_ "

Blood drained from Raph's face in record time.

"… _I'd like you come with me, now._ "

 ***Ah** _ **SHELL**_ **NO!***

"… _Nope…_ " Raph shook his head weakly, shuffling mere inches along the ledge in a pitiful bid to get away. _"…that ain't…it ain't happenin'…"_

But a traitorous leg gave out, the rest of his bulk crashing with a yelp. The Kraang wasted no time in taking advantage, flipping its victim with a simple nudge. As Raph rolled onto his back, splayed limbs twitching, it was sheer stubbornness that kept him awake. Barely.

" _I must say, I am impressed_." The Kraang crouched down for a closer look, as if inspecting goods on the open market. " _Tell me, who trained you? I only ask because I've seen one other mutant fight like that, y'see? It was a long time ago though…fourteen ... fifteen years…? He was protecting four baby turtles. Big coincidence that I now come across you, don't you think?"_

Before any answer could be given, the Kraang ploughed on with a deceptively friendly lilt.

" _That's an interesting scar…"_ A wandering finger lingered on the lightning bolt crack in Raph's rapidly fluctuating plastron. " _It's almost like…you got hit by a trolley?"_

The Kraang must have spotted something that Mikey did not, for in that moment it was suddenly in Raph's face, zoning in like a starved shark.

" _It is you, isn't it?! Tell me, where's the rodent? The other turtles?"_ Madness lined every contour. " _If you tell me where they are, I'll let you walk. Just tell me where they are, turtle! Tell me! Tell me now!_ "

 ***** _ **NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!**_ *****

A Sai swung up on the left, a desperate blow that was easily deflected. The Kraang used the momentum to roll Raph onto his front, twisting his arms backwards and _up_. The retaliation was wild. Bucking! Squirming! Cursing! Sluggish – but ultimately futile. A blood-curdling roar rang across the rooftops, a testament to that fact, a mixture of fear and rage so raw that it rattled the youngest to the core.

And then his big brother finally stilled, cheek pressing down against the asphalt. Defeated.

"…Raph?" Mikey couldn't believe it.

" _That's it."_ The Kraang murmured softly, leaning over its prisoner. " _Don't fight this. I really don't want you damaged._ "

 ***…screw…ssssccccrrreew…***

" _What inspires such loyalty? Such sacrifice?"_ The Kraang marvelled. " _You'd die for them, yes. I can see it written all over your face. Unfortunately for you, that is not an option. I take great joy in making the unwilling co-operative. It is my job after all._ "

" _It may take days, weeks, or even months; but know this…"_ The Kraang hauled Raph to his knees. _"…I will make you sing._ "

The sadistic meaning was undeniable, and Mikey snapped. No one, _ _NO ONE!_ _, messed with his _**BROTHER!**_

Wrenching himself out of Donnie's grip, Mikey charged. As he stepped into the light – ready for a fight, it was like he had stepped between projector and wall, distorting the imagery and nothing more. As helplessness clawed at his throat, desperate to stamp his foot and scream in frustration, a pebble sailed through his chest, smacking the Kraang on the back of its head. Wha…?

" _GET AWAY FROM HIM!"_

The Kraang dropped Raph like a sack of spuds, phasing through Mikey as it whirled to its feet enraged. Jelly-Bean – _who had come back!_ – back pedalled fearfully. The Kraang closed in. A petrified scream pierced through the night, and Mikey screamed in sync as something else soared through his chest. The object hit its target with a sickening _thud_ , and Mikey suddenly beamed; he knew that signature move. The Kraang squealed as it clawed blindly for the Sai embedded in its back, before collapsing in a metallic heap. Sparks flew every which way, but nothing could prepare Jelly-Bean as the chest opened up and a pink blob fell out – squealing all the more as it scurried away. Three cuts grazed the top of its head, but nobody cared.

Jelly-Bean was a skittish mess as she slid to her knees, mouth hanging wide open. Raph was at her side in an instant, scrambling on hands and knees in an urgent bid to reach her. Green hands captured her small face as soon as they were able to, large and firm as he forced frenzied blue to lock onto furious emerald.

" _What were you thinking?! I told you to wait in the diner!"_ Adrenaline-fuelled fury paved the way for rising hysteria. " _You can't just jump into these things! What if I couldn't help you, huh? That thing could have taken you or killed you or–!"_

 ***…Wait a minute…***

Raph caught himself mid-rant, anger morphing into puzzlement into surprise as faint laughter bubbled to the surface. He lowered his forehead to hers, allowing the modicum of comfort to calm the emotional storm.

 ***…Dammit! I'm starting to sound like Fearless…***

" _Casey's so mad…"_ Jelly-Bean breathed into the silence. _"…He thinks you betrayed him."_

Squatting beside his brother and Jelly-Bean, Mikey cocked his head, shamelessly listening in.

" _But he's wrong! You're not like that monster that killed…that killed our mom–!"_ She cut herself off with a bite to her lower lip, examining the asphalt with keen interest before trying again. _"I told him that you're old and butt ugly, but a thousand percent human…"_ She peeked up at Raph shyly. _"…Sai."_

Swift nodding acknowledged the girl's words, before Raph put his face in a trembling palm, shoulders quaking uncontrollably as a half-sob escaped. Whether it was fear, exhaustion, blood-lost, or the drugs coursing through his veins – or a combination of all four, Mikey was humbled to see such weakness in his toughest brother, a rare, unguarded moment that broadcasted just how much these human siblings, this Casey Jones and Jelly-Bean, meant to him.

" _You need ta get back to the diner,"_ Mikey heard Raph whisper as his eyes sought out Donatello; only to freeze on the spot.

If he didn't know any better, he would have blushed at the intimate display and turned a blind eye. On the very edge of the memory, half submerged in the surrounding darkness, 'April' held Donnie close enough to nuzzle, her arms draped around his neck while his hands stayed settled on her hips. Secretive words were traded between them and Donnie seemed completely at ease, wrapped in his own little bubble with 'the love of his life!' – but Mikey could see things that his smartest brother could not. 'April's' smile was positively lecherous, her eyes glittering with primal carnage as they delved deep, unblinking. Even from where he sat Mikey could feel the underlining tension. Not in an 'awww he's in love' kinda way; but in a way that chilled the youngest to the bone.

"DONNIE!" Mikey cried in alarm, trampling through the memory as he forced his feet to move. He might not have been able to save memory-Raph, but that little set-back wouldn't stop him from saving his other brother. "GET OFFA HIM!"

Mikey shoved 'April' hard. 'April' staggered back, snarling in a way that the real April never would. Mikey cared little as he turned to Donnie, steadying his brother.

"M-M-Mikey…?" Donnie whispered faintly, cradling his head as he tried to compose himself. "…What happened?"

"She's using some weird voodoo on you bro!" Mikey announced, dragging his befuddled brother further away from the monster that had manipulated him so easily.

"…I was trying to distract her…I didn't know–!"

"Talk about it later, D!" Determination lined freckled features. "Right now we gotta get out of here!"

"Yeah…" Donnie agreed, licking his lips nervously as he looked from left to right then back again, "We gotta catch up to Leo."

"Leo?" After a quick scan, the weight of Donnie's statement – and what that meant, slammed him like a sledgehammer.

' _Dude just DITCHED US?!'_ The momentary spark of anger popped as just as quickly as it flared – it wouldn't help them now.

'… _Oh well. So long as Leera don't notice it's all good and–!'_

"WHERE'S THE THIRD TURTLE?!" It was like she read his mind!

'… _Ah crud…'_

Mikey gulped and shuddered. They had no weapons to hand or any way to defend themselves, and she was beyond ticked! The memory of Raph and Jelly-Bean vanished and the ground rumbled beneath their feet, but those details were nothing more than minor inconveniences as 'April' warped into some kind of buzzing black swarm, ever-changing specks of solid black that stacked higher and higher. Silhouetted by the reddish glow of the Foot-Clan symbol, it truly was a monstrous sight to behold. Mikey stumbled back into Donnie, who managed to grab a hold of his shoulders.

'… _How the heck were they supposed to FIGHT THAT THING…?!'_

As if the Spirit Realm itself had answered his plea, smooth wood materialised out of nowhere, landing in the palm of his hands. Mikey ignored his brother's questioning as he relished in the familiarity of his babies – a symbol of strength beneath his fingertips. The darkness charged, and Mikey let his Nunchucks whirr.

'… _Bring it…!'_

***TMNT***

"So you managed to conjure some weapons. Congratulations."

The aloof, taunting baritone was hard to ignore, but Leo couldn't afford to be distracted. Not now. The choice to abandon his youngest two siblings weighed heavy on his heart; but even that gnawing sensation would have to wait. Even with the power of the Spirit Realm connected to his soul. Even with that pure energy flowing through every fibre of his being, its raw power thrumming as he flexed tingling fingertips over the hilts of his Katana. Even though he was honourable and strong, the most dedicated son in the ways of Bushido – Leo knew his limits. He knew that, realistically, he could never defeat this enemy. Not alone at least.

"I need you to get up," Leo hissed from the corner of his mouth. "Right now, Raph! You hear me, bro? _Get up!_ "

Leo's hand clasped a broad shoulder to emphasise the command, shaking it urgently; but his brother lay still, far too still. On the other side of the room, Gauntlets materialised on the arms of their enemy, and in that split second of absolute stillness, Leo couldn't help but dwell on the events that had led up to this point. How he had felt his way along the smooth black wall in stifling darkness, until he found a weakness in the structure far away from the pulsating Foot-Clan symbol. How he had exploited said weakness, using all of his might to slip through undetected. How he had stumbled into a replica of the dojo, noting hundreds of dulled golden lumps scattered across tatami mats. How his heart jumped into his throat the moment his eyes locked onto Raph's unmoving form. How he had abandoned all training for the overwhelming swell of panic as he raced towards said brother, falling on his hunches as he felt for any sign of life. How his crippling relief at connecting with his brother's spirit morphed into something cold and deadly as the Shredder emerged from behind a malnourished version of the family tree. How he abused Master Splinter's teachings of peace to conjure weapons of war – not only for himself, but for his brothers as well.

There was no going back now.

A tendon-straining cry emphasised that agonising truth. All the pain, the suffering, the very real fear of being hunted, seeing his father's tortured gaze day after day – yet never achieving the levels of mastery that could have the potential to _change something!_ It was all just another reminder, a reminder that he continued to fail his father, his brothers, his family! It was bitterness squashed into a proverbial pill, lodged in the back of his throat. It was a dark, seedy emotion that made him resent humans – a self-entitled species that found reasons to whine and wage war on each other instead of enjoying the life given to them at birth. The simple freedoms that he and his brother's could only ever dream off!

And as all of this suppressed anger vied for his attention, with one brother unconscious at his feet – the youngest two left behind, sea blue narrowed as they settled on the Shredder; the most sadistic human of them all.

And he was smirking.

Leonardo snapped, could actually feel the crunch like a twig under boot as he charged. Sai were left untouched near his brother's hands, but he barely spared them a glance. Golden apples were kicked by his own feet, but he couldn't care less. Muscles flexed and tensed with every fluid motion, subconsciously ready for this moment; yet all Leo could see was that hated face – swords swinging with the intent to kill.

 _*SHIIIIIIING!*_

One Gauntlet parried both Katana, sliding the strike to one side. Leo staggered under the deflected blow, but re-aligned himself within seconds, twisting just in time to catch his enemy's downward strike. Right swing, left swing; step back, step back, step back! Parry the right Gauntlet, engage the left one – JUMP! Uppercut! Downward strike! Block! Block! Block! Backup! Backup! Backup! _Don't step on Raph!_

'… _Raph…!'_ Panicked sea blue instinctively flicked towards the tatami mats. _'…Where was–?!'_

 _*CLANG!*_

Gauntlets crossed in a deadly X-like formation, trapping his Katana in its deadly grasp. Leo stumbled, wavering as the Shredder used his height advantage to _Press! Down!_ Legs caved under the onslaught, carapace crashing to the floor with an almighty _bang_. Katana were snapped like toothpicks and discarded, vaporising before they even hit the floor. Leo was backing up, heels digging into the tatami mats, eyes widening in real terror as the Shredder stalked his every move – and all because he lost his concentration for one lousy second! _Stupid! Rookie! Mistake!_

A Gauntlet rose up, preparing for a downward strike – the final blow for sure – when someone else leapt into the fray, roaring in the Shredder's face. The Gauntlet changed trajectory, swinging wildly above Leo's head. The new target dodged, darting away with a grunted taunt. The Shredder took the bait, shifting away from Leo.

'… _Raph…!'_

The momentary surge of elation at seeing his brother's active spirit was drowned under a wave of utter confusion. What the Shell was he doing?

'… _Was he, pulling a Mikey…?'_

Raph was backing up, dodging every blow, weapon-less hands tucked behind his back as he danced around his opponent as opposed to getting in his enemy's face. But, Leo had conjured…

"RAPH!" They young leader hollered. How could he have missed the–?! " _ **RAPH!**_ "

"WHAT?!" Raph rolled under a vicious swipe, dodging another blow. "I'M KINDA BUSY HERE!"

Leo was perplexed. "THERE'S SAI ON THE FLOOR!"

'… _There's no way he could have missed them. They were right there, right by his hands…!'_

"WHAT?!"

"I SAID THERE'S SAI ON THE FLOOR!" Frustration hit an all time high as his brother blatantly ignored him. " _ARGH!_ FORGET IT!"

Leo aimed for the neglected Sai as Raph continued his game of cat and mouse with the Shredder. He had just scooped up the weapons when a loud _thunk_ echoed throughout the room, and turned to find a Gauntlet jammed in the trunk of the family tree. The Shredder roared as he struggled to dislodge the blades, but Leo wasted no time in racing towards the brother who stood across the way, out of the enemy's deadly range.

"Y'know," Raph acknowledged his brother's approach, though refused to look his way. "This whole dodging thing's kinda fun. I mean who knew, right?!"

Leo didn't bother to reply, forcing Raph's fingers to close over the hilts of the Sai. Once accomplished, the young leader let go and stepped back with a pointed glare, only to quietly gasp as both Sai slipped – _through his brother's solid fists_ – on their synchronised journey to the floor. They clattered with dull thuds, but Leo's mind was reeling, demanding an explanation that would clarify this…impossibility. Raph was being uncooperative, as per usual, eyes locked on the fallen Sai as his fists fell limply at his sides.

"I can _see_ you…!" Raph eventually breathed, more to himself then anything, pupils darting up to Leo only to flick away again. "…But how?" The panicky confusion was almost palpable. _"How?!_ "

"They couldn't get it off! I shouldn't be able to–not without–! But you're here, and I _can!_ And I'm not–!" Raph jerked back as Leo reached out, babbling frantically under his breath. "He ain't real, numb-nuts! Shredder's messin' with your head, it's the only thing that makes sense! I mean…"

"He said you were coming but…" Emerald flicked back again, almost crazed, searching for something as they scrutinised Leo. "You ain't _real_ , Fearless! You _can't_ be **REAL**!"

Leo blinked once, twice; completely thrown. "Raph–?"

 _*WHAM!*_

"–NO, LEO!"

The fist came out of nowhere, a wrecking ball to his gut. It was the last thing he registered as his body flew backwards, the impact strong enough to hurt despite his natural armour. By the time the young leader gained sense enough to roll the landing, the Shredder had his brother pinned by the throat, up against the wall. The wall was crackling with energy, Raph was thrashing, the Shredder was laughing, and Leo jumped into action as soon as his feet touched the floor. He ran, scooped up the Sai and launched one; only to realise his mistake a second too late. The Shredder deflected the weapon as easily as swatting a fly, releasing his prey to twist and engage.

 _*SWIPE!*_

 _*CLANG!*_

 _*CLATTER!*_

 _*SLASH!*_

" _ **AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHhhhhh!**_ "

Five digits clamped around Leo's throat and squeezed. Leo bucked fitfully, efforts doubling as the Shredder turned back to recapture Raph, who had slid to the floor but nothing more. The Shredder slammed him back into place against the wall, finding true enjoyment in watching his prey squirm.

 _STOP!_ Leo wanted to scream. _YOU'RE KILLING HIM!_

Dribble escaped the corner of Leo's mouth instead. Pathetic gurgles bubbled to the surface. Fists pounded and fingers clawed at the Shredder's wrist, though the iron-grip would not loosen. He could hear Raph's agonised panting over his own shallow breaths, but what the Shell could he do? Spirits didn't breathe oxygen but in that moment he desperately needed AIR–!

 _*BANG!*_

An almighty explosion rocked their world, knocking all three to the ground. Disoriented, choking, nauseous; Leo squashed it all down the second the Shredder let go, forcing air through a bruised windpipe as he dragged a semi-conscious Raph to his feet – backing them both away from the carnage. There was no debris, but a shadowy black _thing_ had torn a hole through the wall, shrieking as it crashed on the other side of the fake dojo.

But it was what came after that truly mattered; the sweetest sound he had ever heard.

"Knock! Knock!"

"Mikey." The relief was overwhelming as his youngest two brothers clambered through the hole unscathed. "Donnie."

The hole shrivelled up behind them, leaving everyone trapped inside – but that was a problem for later.

***TMNT***

Across the way, three freaks huddled round the fourth; a touching reunion. It was enough to make him puke.

"So you think you've won." The Shredder snarled; revelling in the thrill of satisfaction as all four turtles turned towards him, pure hatred blazing in their eyes.

A Bo Staff snapped up on the left, followed by a set of whirring Nunchaku on the right. The leader stood front and centre, fingers flexing over the pommel of one Sai, the other lost in the previous struggle. They all crowded the protesting fourth, a shield of bodies. The Shredder inwardly snickered; it was all very amusing.

"I apologise, Master." That O'Neil brat was at his side – why did his greatest weapon look like that foul little wretch?! "I'll put an end to this!"

"No!" His disgust was evident. "Change into something more appropriate! Your appearance sickens me."

'O'Neil' cocked her head in contemplation – concentrating on something the Shredder could not see, before morphing into Tigerclaw. _Much better._

"I will dispose of them, Master." 'Tigerclaw' drawled.

A hand rose up to silence his underling. "I can't command the dead."

"Like we'd do what _you_ want!" One of the freaks spewed.

"Oh you will." Malicious intent glittered in onyx irises. "Time is running short, and a choice must be made…"

"Don't listen to him, Leo!" His leashed pet hissed, warning in his tone.

Not that _that_ made any difference. The Shredder could see it all in the eyes of their leader – like a blast from the past. Calm and steadfast, a plan in place for every eventuality predicted. Sharp and focused, a warrior of skill and cunning. But above all, he could see arrogance shining in those blue depths, placing his view above all others; just like Hamato Yoshi.

As if proving the point, a wary lilt spanned the space between them. "…What choice?"

The Shredder took a moment, languishing in the rising tension.

"You deliver my message to the rat…" The sentence was dragged out, flippant, deliberately goading. "…Or you don't."

Once again all protests were silenced with a sharp glare that screamed; _let the leaders talk._ "Okay, Shredder. Give us your message."

The Shredder straightened in turn, hiding his glee behind a blank poker face. This was way too easy.

"If Hamato Yoshi wants his… _ **son**_ …to be released, then he must surrender to me. He has until tomorrow night. After that…" Eyes narrowed as he went for the jugular, "…it'll be too late."

"Oh yeah!" The loudmouth retorted brazenly. "Well that's not gonna work for us, Shredhead. So how about we just force your spiritual ass to let his spiritual ass go?"

The Shredder's façade cracked; _'…Stupid FREAKS…!'_

"I didn't mean his–!" He cut himself off with a sneer, taking a deep, calming breath. He was the one in control after all.

"This," he gestured to the fake dojo and the spiritual plane beyond that, "is just the beginning."

"Of _what?!_ " Leo snapped. "What are you _talking_ about?" He asked, no demanded. "What's he talking about?!" The leader whirled on his brother, "Raph?!"

"It don't matter!" Came the defensive response.

"What do you mean _'It don't matter?'_?!" The arrogant turtle echoed incredulously; _furiously_. "O-Of course it matters!"

"Er, guys…?"

"Don't get in my face, _Fearless!_ "

"…Maybe now's not the best time to…!"

"Then don't give me a reason to, _little brother!_ "

One freak puffed up mutinously, the other refused to let up.

"GUYS!"

"SHUT UP, MIKEY!"

Chaos reigned in a blaring cacophony, a chorus of quarrelling voices. Weapons had been lowered as they turned on each other, all anger and flailing arms, ignoring the enemy altogether. The Shredder could have easily taken advantage; but this was just too entertaining.

"Didn't you know…?" He couldn't help but add fuel to the raging inferno, smirking all the more. "There's more than one way to cage an animal."

It was like flagging a bull with a red flag. All noise fizzled out, replaced with a deafening roar. His leashed pet, the one they called Raph, jumped through the other mutant, ghost-like and vengeful. The leader spun one-eighty and just about grabbed him from behind – _arms locked over plated chest_ – before the aggressive turtle could lunge across the room.

"Why doncha cut the crap and FIGHT ME!" It bellowed.

"Says the one who's in hiding," The Shredder countered smoothly, dismissively. "You know where to find me."

A deep, ominous gong followed his words, announcing the end of his time here; for now.

"Enjoy round two, Freaks."

Lips thinned into a wicked grin as his spirit slipped back into his real body. It was exactly where he had left it, resting in a meditative pose within his personal dojo. The clean lines of the minimalistic room were cast in long shadows, as was his preference. The only exception was the Orb that sat on the floor before him, enticing with its gently pulsating, blood-red richness. One pulse…Two pulse…three… Even as he tested his reflexes by retrieving the glass sphere, the eerie glow it emanated faded into nothingness. He inhaled deeply, hoping to savour his victory in the comfort of one of his most private chambers – one of the few places where he allowed himself to be stripped of his armour, only to scowl as he sensed an intruder lingering casually near the doorway.

"We need to talk." He spoke by way of introduction, irritating the Shredder further.

'… _How did he get passed the guards…?!'_

"The Collar was designed to insure a perfectly tamed subject, a physically indestructible warrior that will never question its orders, and never fail."

The Shredder twisted on the spot; silently fuming.

"The Orb was designed to give unrestricted access to all of the subject's memories and emotions, to stamp out any flaws or weaknesses that might become troublesome. And the Gauntlet was designed to subdue the subject, or to abort if the transition showed signs of failure." The man took a few strides into the room. "Yet you take these gifts I handed to you and you squander them by _toying_ with the subject? By _gloating?_ "

The Shredder bristled in place; _'…You DARE–!'_

"I must ask." The man continued. "What did you have to gain by announcing your supremacy, apart from stroking your over-inflated ego?"

"DO NOT QUESTION ME!"

The Shredder swung as he rose up, a wild fist of raw power, a split-second of uncontrolled rage. The man side stepped it neatly, not even batting an eyelid as he caught the flailing limb in his own hand.

"As I told you before," The man's voice was detached and factual. "This technology has never had a successful run before, and instead of keeping the subject under close observation, you let it escape and gave away our hand."

He shoved the fist away with an air of aloofness, brushing imaginary lint from his suit as he stepped back the way he came. "Do not make the mistake of thinking that I'm one of your cronies, Shredder. Get the subject back, or this arrangement is terminated."

With that the man was gone, stepping over the broken robotic guards that littered the length of the hallway. The Shredder seethed, a quiet whistling of air through gritted teeth. That man, no that Kraang rogue – he corrected himself, was nothing more than a means to an end, an overconfident bug that needed to be squashed; just as soon as Stockman was able to replicate the technology.

Until then, Bishop needed to be watched.

***TMNT***

As soon as the Shredder left, 'Tigerclaw' vanished in a swirl of dark particles, and the fake dojo rumbled ominously, crumbling around them. Within seconds, weapons had disintegrated and the illusion of their turtle bodies faded, leaving four balls of light floating within the aqua hues of the spirit realm. They were connected by outstretched tendrils only, akin to children holding hands, drawing strength from one another. Blue, Orange and Purple wordlessly synchronised their efforts to anchor Red to them, three spirits encasing the fourth in warmth and light. Red tried to return the favour, but floundered weakly instead, struggling to keep one frail tendril alive…

"I can't…" Raph's fear echoed through the four-way connection, wavering. "…I can't!"

"Yes you can!" Leo's will was strong. A bright pulse of blue light shot through the connection, lending his strength, relieved when the link steadied between them. "That's it, stay with us. I'm so proud of you. Just hang on. We've got you…"

"No, you don't understand!" Fear paved the way for full blown panic. "I _CAN'T–!_ "

Nothing was held back as flashes tore relentlessly through the connection, a chaotic mess of lights and sounds. Lurking nearby as Donnie asked for the debit card. _Manipulator_. Dragging men into the shadows with a set of Manriki. _Predator_. Training for hours on end in secret. _Failure_. Shoving stolen cash in the petty cash tin. _Liar_. Stealing a needle and thread from the lab. _Thief_. Sparking a lighter with shaky hands, heating the prong of one Sai till it glowed. _Desperate_. Roughly packing a bag with the bare essentials. _Unworthy!_

"Stop it, Raph! Stay with us!" Leo slammed a blockade up against the stampeding memories, grateful when a swell of fun-fuelled warmth flowed down the connection – _Mikey_ , followed by a gentle soothing wave – _Donnie_. "Nothing is stronger than family, you hear me? _Our family!_ And we are coming for you!"

Wordless agreement radiated from both Mikey and Donnie, emphasising that truth, and Leo felt reinforced by their combined strength. "Do you understand me, Raph?!"

"DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!" He urged when no answer was forthcoming, fuelled by a fierce need to protect his loved ones.

"…yeah." A very similar emotion bounced back with crippling intensity. "…Yeah I hear ya, Fearless."

"Good." Relief simmered, a proverbial beacon in the dark. "Now you're gonna promise to wait for us, and then you're gonna show us what happened to you."

Memories reared up in response, impatient fists pounding against the blockage, demanding his full attention. Leo let his mental shield drop, facing them head on. Drugged and defenceless. A seductive voice taunting. Enemies on all sides. _STAY AWAY FROM MY BROTHER!_ A blade to his throat. A miraculous escape. Fear. Overwhelming shame. A desperate plan. Drowning. Agonising **PAIN!** A fleeting hope betrayed. _Don't upset yourself, Hothead, don't struggle._ A familiar bedroom doused in pink and purplish hues. _MIKEY!_ Blackmailed. _Follow my lead, and in return, I promise not to harm your precious little family._ Rockwell looming over him. _I have to be blunt, this is going to hurt, a lot._ A tortured body buckling. Screams weakening over time. A desperate plea. _I can't live with it! I c-can't!_

" **I ORDERED YOU TO** _ **FIND THEM!**_ "A thunderous voice suddenly boomed, rattling all four spirits to the core.

"What the Shell was–?!"

"–Shredder–?!"

"–Not again–!"

"– _ **RAPH!**_ "

An electric current swiftly followed, tearing down the line with such brutality that Leo snagged his tendril back with an alarming cry of pain. The second he relinquished his grip, the four-way connection died. Leo scrambled in a frantic bid to re-establish the connection, to fix his mistake! But it was far too late. Though Mikey and Donnie had the strength to reach out to him, Raph's spirit had become completely unresponsive – returned to his mortal body. Lost to them _yet again!_

"It's gonna be okay, Leo." Donnie tried to reassure as soon as they were reconnected, but it was weak, tainted by a quaking uncertainty. "We're going to fix this."

"But he didn't promise to wait for us!" Leo realised with rising dread; he just knew that Raph was going to do something insanely reckless and–! "I didn't make him promise!"

"We'll get to him in time." Mikey insisted, painfully optimistic. "Raphie-Boy's the toughest guy I know, he'll be okay until we catch up. Come along oh Fearless one," The jest was frail at best. "We can't save his ass from here."

And as they left the spirit realm, knowing that there was little they could accomplish by sticking around, Leo wallowed in a aching mix of raw hatred and bitter frustration. Millions of fragments clamoured for his attention, eager to make some sort of sense, yet even though Shredder was their main concern, it was Slash's voice that ate away at him, just begging for retribution. Leo had no qualms with meeting that demand.

By the end of this, he was gonna kill that _SonOfA–!_

***TMNT***

" _ **FEARLESS, NO!**_ "

Slash had never moved so quick in his life. At one fifty nine pm, he was brooding in the darkest corner of the concrete bedroom, maintaining a strong vigil over his physically recovered yet still unconscious charge. By two pm, everything went to Hell. Three lights changed from gentle pulsing to throbbing at a furious pace. Wild energy crackled with a vengeance, dancing over every square inch of flesh it could find. Raphael kicked and thrashed and bucked and arched off the bed, trying to escape the inevitable. Delirious screams bounced off of echoic walls, primal and unrestrained.

" **THEY'RE COMING! THEY'RE** _ **C-C-C-OMING!**_ "

Slash snarled with wordless rage, pinning Raphael down with more force than was necessary. Ferocious sparks surged at his interference, racing up bandaged palms via the smothering grip he had on Raphael's arms. Slash puffed through a locked jaw, clamping down the frightening urge to cry out. The sharp lances of pain were far worse this time, he suddenly realised, and the collar was steadily upping its ante.

Then for some reason it suddenly faltered, and his charge slumped down, completely boneless. _What the–?!_

"Hajime! Find your brothers!" Slash was horrified; what the heck happened to his brother's voice? It sounded robotic! "Look them in the eye! Kill them! Bring proof! _KILL THEM–NNNNNOOOOOOOO!_ "

Eyes were wide and crazed, practically glowing as they flickered in rapid succession. White! Emerald! White-Emerald-White! Controlled, struggling, controlled again! A brief respite, a surge of pain! Back and forth! Back and forth! Back and forth it raged! Tug of war in its cruellest form.

"…nnnnnooooooo…!"

A breathless moan rang on the heels of a contorted scream. One minute his brother was cold and devoid, the next he was caving under the excruciating torment. Flooded emerald sought out navy steel, begging for mercy, and Slash felt his heart _squeeze!_

"What do I do?!" Slash grunted, massive digits tightening as he begged in turn, "What do I _DO?!_ "

"Let it win!" When did Rockwell turn up? "Can you hear me, Raphael?" The mutant monkey pushed his face directly into Raphael's line of sight. "Your family won't get hurt! We'll keep you contained, trust us!"

'… _Keep him contained?'_ Slash's thoughts raced. _'Why didn't I think of that?! The Kraang binds and his stash of sedatives were still in the cardboard box he had kicked under the bed earlier that day. If they kept his brother under–?'_

"–We have no idea the adverse effects that could have." Damn your telepathic abilities, Rockwell! "We could accidently trigger a consequence far worse if the Collar thinks it's been cheated. We have to allow this to run its natural course – without letting him escape."

The Kraang binds magically flew out from under the bed, one set tying Raphael's wrists together, another set locking ankles together. Slash readjusted his grip, just in case. Bug eyes bored into those crazed with delirium – conveying their plan as best he could. Tears trickled from pained eyes; eyes that suddenly glazed white.

* _WHAM!_ *

A head shot forced Rockwell careening backwards, howling in abrupt pain. Legs bent at the knees, driving feet into a plastron protected gut. Even as Slash reeled back with an 'oomph' of surprised passing his jagged beak, the Collar-possessed Raphael rolled off the bed and unravelled the binds on his ankles, narrowing in on the one remaining Sai forgotten on the side. A third body charged him before he could think to move, slamming the smaller turtle to the floor.

The struggle became savage. Biting, clawing; muscle vs muscle. Leatherhead roared as he pressed down from above, roaring with mortification when the much smaller turtle not only matched his strength, but slowly forced him back! Rockwell was babbling on and on about the Collar somehow giving Raphael inhumane strength, but the voice was practically drowned out in the chaos as Slash jumped back into the fray. Leatherhead restrained twin flailing legs. Slash pressed down on his upper body. Between the two of them, they kept Raphael pinned to the concrete floor; just about.

"Stay down you little–OW!" A bloodied snout had Slash sniffling, cursing, _snarling_ with animalistic rage. "Listen! I don't care if you are my brother! I will knock your ass out _**COLD**_ if ya don't–!"

'… _Wait a minute…'_

A spark of inspiration hit him as hard as the blow to his snout; "Turtles can't handle the cold!"

Rockwell was at his side in an instant, catching on quick. "I've turned the tap on and opened the door. You just gotta get him there."

Slash nodded his acknowledgement, silently urging the genius back.

"Do what you can to help us, Doc. On three Leatherhead. One. Two. _Three!_ " Muscles bulged as they hauled the smaller turtle up, straining as their un-cooperative charge lurched within the hold.

"You're only delaying the inevitable! The Creator will enslave you all and we Leera will thrive!" The robotic voice roared. "Defiance only lasts so long! We Leera will THRIVE!"

"Tell it to someone who cares!" Slash huffed.

They carried Raphael through their makeshift home; down the corridor that led to the main living quarters with the kitchenette built into one corner, dodging the table with restraints and kicking aside all the tools and chemicals they had tried earlier – trekking onwards until they arrived at the very back of their home.

The door was already flung wide open, a burst of coldness rushing forth. He nodded to Leatherhead who dropped Raphael's legs instantly, and then Slash shoved his charge bodily into the small chamber, not once giving up his hold on him. A broken pipe was crudely welded to a wide shower head high overhead, but those details were largely ignored as Slash crashed on his butt, his shell scraping jagged lines against the back concrete wall. Freezing cold water smacked against him with hail-stone velocity, stinging against shivering skin, but Slash only cared about the body he had forced down with him, sighing as the smaller turtle _FINALLY_ quit struggling, becoming nothing more than a limp ragdoll trapped within his iron-hold, splayed haphazardly across his lap.

"We wish to make this good for him." The robotic voice relented, switching tactics. "What does he desire? The purple one loves the red-headed human girl but had no knowledge of what would please our host."

"You've spoken to Donatello?!" Rockwell crouched in the open doorway, Leatherhead loitering behind him. "Who are you? When did you speak to–?!"

Raphael sneered at the mutated monkey, turning his face upwards, towards the freezing pelt of man-made rain as he faced the one that held him down. Slash gulped at the dullness in those whitened eyes.

"We can make his every fantasy a reality. He just needs to be willing. To complete the order before time runs out."

"What order?" Slash couldn't help but ask.

"Find them. Look them in the eye. Kill them. Bring proof." The recital was monotonous, as if he were merely talking about the weather and not the execution of three turtles.

"And if he doesn't…?" Rockwell asked; Slash was afraid of the answer.

"An unwilling subject will feel nothing…" The possessed turtle shook his head gently from side to side. The cold was working, was slowly numbing his body. "…He will become nothing…Nothing but an empty shell…"

***TMNT*** **CHAPTER EIGHT** ***TMNT***


End file.
